Of Domestical Duties

§. 54. Of husbands allowing their wives to bestow on others, as they see good occasion.

So far ought the provident care of an husband for his wife to extend, as she may have (beside things needful to her self) to bestow on such as it is requisite for her to give unto: as namely, on children and servants in the house, and others also out of the house. For so much is noted in Solomon's description of a good wife; She giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens: all her household is clothed with scarlet (namely, by her ordering and disposing the matter.) Her children rise up and call her blessed, as for her general carriage in the family, so for her particular favors bestowed on themselves. As for others out of the house, it is also noted, that she stretcheth out her hand to the poor, and reacheth forth her hands to the needy. These things she did by virtue of that power and liberty which her husband gave her: as appeareth by two points there noted:

1. In that before any mention is made of those things which she did, it is said, The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.

2. In that, after all her good deeds are reckoned up, it is said, Her husband praiseth her.

After this pattern it is meet that other husbands (whose wives are wise and faithful) should deal with their wives: that in the house they might have the more honor of children and servants: and that out of the house they might give the better trial of their charity.

For considering the many excellent promises that are made to works of mercy and charity, and the many terrible threatenings that are denounced not only against such as exercise cruelty, but also against such as show no mercy: considering also that wives together with their husbands, are heirs of the grace of life, it is very needful yea even necessary, that they should manifest their faith by some work of mercy and charity. Now unless her husband do give unto her something at her own discretion to bestow on others, true and through try all of her merciful and charitable mind cannot be made. If she give of that which her husband hath reserved to himself, as her giving is unlawful, so she may be thought liberal, not because she is merciful, but because notwithstanding her liberality she parteth with nothing of her own: yea though she have a general consent to give as she seeth cause of the common goods of the family, yet is not that so sure and sound a trial of her charity, and mercifulness, as if she had something of her own which she might retain or give away as pleaseth her self; and what she gives not away, lay up as her own stock proper to her self. For there is naturally such a self love in man, and a desire to keep that which is proper to ones self, that he is very loath to part with any of it, unless conscience and grace alter this corruption of nature, and so move him readily to lay out something on charitable uses. But otherwise of that which in whole or in part belongeth to another (be that other, husband, parent, master, friend, or any else) he is easily moved to be liberal and bountiful: a man will willingly cut a large thong (as we speak) out of another's leather.

It is known that many children and servants, who, when they come to be possessers of their own, are very niggards and misers, have been liberal of their parents and masters goods unto the poor. Yea parteners in a stock will be much more forward in giving away that which is common with another, then that which is proper to each of them. The truest trial of a merciful and charitable heart lieth in the distribution of that which is proper to ones self.

It is therefore meet upon this very ground, that an husband should according to his ability let his wife have some stock, and portion of her own, free to her self to dispose as she seeth good: intimating unto her that the principal end why he provideth so plentifully for her, is, that she may show forth the fruits of her faith by some works of charity: and exhorting her so to do. Many religious, wise, kind husbands thus do: some giving quarterly allowance in money to their wives, others giving their wives power to receive a certain portion of rent out of certain lands or houses; others making their wives an absolute estate of some inheritance, and suffering them to receive the profits and revenues thereof; others giving them certain fees of their offices, or of their trade; others, that are poor, suffering them to work for themselves, & dispose their earnings as they see cause: someone way, some another: everyone in his place best knoweth the means how to gratify his wife in this kind: it shall be sufficient for me to have laid down the general rule.

§. 55. Of husbands too great straitness over their wives.

Contrary is their strait-handednesse to their wives, who allow them no more then may be for their own private use. They think it a great matter and as much as an husband is bound to do, to let her have apparel, meat and drink, and such necessaries as are befitting her rank, but all other overplus they think needless. Thus their wives are not only deprived of means to gain respect of their children and servants at home, and to gratify such as are obedient and ready to do service to them, but also to perform such works of mercy as both opportunity requireth, and also their conscience moveth them to do. Yea many wives of rich husbands are brought to great shame hereby, in that being in places where there is just occasion of contributing to some charitable use, and by reason of their rich and costly apparel it is expected they should be bountiful, they have not anything at all to bestow. The fault of some husbands in this respect is great many ways. As 1. in that they bring shame and grief to their wives, whom they ought with all tenderness to respect. 2. In that they dishonor their own places: for they who take notice of this straitness to their wives, will be ready to judge them both covetous, and unkind. 3. The omitting of that work of mercy which their wives should have done shall be laid to their charge: they shall hear that dreadful doom; Go ye cursed into everlasting fire, for I was an hungered and ye fed me not &c. and if they answer, When saw we thee an hungered &c. it shall be replied, In that ye suffered not your wives to do it, you did it not.

Thus much of the extent of an husbands provident care for the good of his wife. It followeth to speak of the continuance thereof.

§. 57. Of an husbands care to provide for his wife so long as she shall live.

The continuance of an husbands provident care for his wife must be so long as she liveth, yea though she out-live him: not that he can actually when he is dead provide for her, but that he may before his death so provide for her, as she may have wherewithal to maintain her self, and to live according to that place whereunto by him she is advanced: at least that he leave her not only so much as he had with her, but something more also in testimony of his love to her, and care for her. Husbands have the example of Christ to press this duty upon them: for when he went away from his Church here on earth, he left his spirit, which furnished it with gifts as plentifully, as if Christ had still remained with her, if not more abundantly.

For the better performance of this duty, husbands which die before the wives, must observe among other things two especially.

1. That plainly and expressly they declare their mind and will before they die, lest their wives should be circumvented and defrauded of that which they intended them. Thus did David upon the motion of Bathsheba, he settled his estate, and caused Bathshebahs son to be actually crowned before he himself gave up the Ghost: which he did, as for other weighty reasons, so in particular for his wives good, as may be gathered from that reason she alleged to the King in these words; Else when my Lord the King shall sleep-with his fathers, I shall be reputed vile.

2. That he request some faithful friend in his steed to be an helper unto her; (as Christ commended his mother unto his disciple John) which will be needful in regard of her weakness, by reason of her sex, and want of experience to manage such affairs especially as are out of the house.

At the time of a man's departure out of this world from his wife, will the truest trial of his affection to his wife be given: for many that bear their wives fair in hand while they live with them, at their death show that there was no soundness of affection in their heart towards them: all was but a mere show for some by-respects.

§. 58. Of husbands neglect of their wives future estate.

Contrary are diverse practices of unkind husbands. For

1. Some through improvidence, unthriftiness and prodigality, disable themselves from doing good to their wives after their death; and so leave their wives nothing, or (that which is worse then nothing) in debt, and with a great charge of children. That care which husbands ought to have of their wives should make them think before hand of the time to come, and even for their wives sake be some-what the more diligent, thrifty, and provident, and cut off many unnecessary expenses, else their sin is doubled. 1. By a needless wasting their estate. 2. By neglecting their wives.

2. Others by fawning, or forcing means draw their wives to yield up that interest they have in money, goods, house or land by ioynter, inheritance, or any other way, and yet make them no sufficient recompense in another kind: but at their death leave their wives in a far worse estate then they were in before marriage, beside a greater charge then they had before. As this is a great part of unkindness, so also a main point of injustice.

3. Others grudging against the laws under which they • iue for providing for a wife by thirds or otherwise, use all the • raudulent means they can to deprive her of that which otherwise the law would lay upon her. The civil politique awes of the place where we live ought to be the rule of our civil actions (so far as they are not repugnant to God's word) and we ought for conscience sake to be subject unto them. Besides an husband ought (though the law forced him • ot) to leave at least the thirds to his wife, as a testimony of his love to her, and care for her: so as this also is a dou • le fault. 1. A transgression of the law. 2. A note of vn • indnesse.

4. Orthers having aged and sickly wives, or otherwise • hinking that their wives may, or rather hoping that their • iues will die before themselves, put off the making of their wills of purpose that they might not put in their wives thirds, but dispose them some other way. Besides that these husbands show no good affection towards their wives, they provoke God to disappoint them of their hopes: and so he doth often-times: for he taketh them away before their wives, and so taketh them away, as having no time to make their will, not only their wives enjoy their thirds (which they so much desired to avoid) but also some other (whom of all in their life time they misliked) seize upon the other two parts.

§. 58. Of an husbands protecting his wife from danger.

Having shown how an husband is to provide things needful for his wife: It remaineth to show how he is to protect her from things hurtful.

In regard of that protection which an husband oweth his wife, he is called the veil of her eyes: which phrase as it implieth Subjection on the wives part, so also Protection on the husbands: to protect one, is as it were, to cover them, namely, from danger; to be negligent and careless of them, is, as it were, to lay them open to danger. The same duty is implied under another like phrase of spreading his wing over his wife. The metaphor is taken from winged fowls, which to keep their young ones from hurt, use to spread their wings over them: this phrase and metaphor is also attributed to God, to set forth his protection.

But most pertinent to this purpose is the title, Saniour, given to an husband in relation to his wife.

For this end the Lord who subjected a woman unto her husband, gave to his sex greater strength, courage and boldness then to hers, that he might protect her which is the weaker vessel. In this duty of protection Christ showeth himself an excellent pattern and president unto husbands.

The better to perform this duty, an husband must be careful,

1. To prevent, as much as he may, such dangers as his wise is like to fall into.

2. To recover her out of such as she is fallen into.

For this purpose did David carry his wives into Gath, lest, if they were left in Israel, Saul should work them some mischief: and again, when they were taken by the Amalekites, he recovered them.

According to that danger whereunto wives are subject, must an husbands care of protecting his wife be manifested.

1. If she be in danger to be seduced and enticed, as Eve was, by any evil instruments of the devil, as Jesuits, Priests, Friers, profane, blasphemous, lascivious, or riotous persons; his care must be either to keep them away that they come not at her, or to put them away from her so soon as he can: he may not suffer them to harbor in his house.

2. If by any sleight she be drawn from his house, he must seek her, and fetch her again, as the Levite did his wife: or cause her (if he can) to be brought home again, as David caused Michal to be brought: especially if they be taken away by force, as Ahinoam, and Abigail, David's wives, were.

3. If she be unjustly slandered, he is to maintain her credit and reputation as much as his own: as Christ accounteth himself despised, when his Church is, so must he. This care must he have of his wives credit, even after her death, as well as while she liveth.

4. What other mischief so ever is intended or practiced against her, he must be a tower of defense to protect her, (as Ahoshuerosh was to Ester against Haman) and that not only against strangers without the house, but also against children and servants in the house. Children grown to years, that are stout and stubborn, will be ready to rise up against their mother, especially if she be a mother in law, because she is the weaker sex: the countenance of a father for the most part keepeth most in awe. Wherefore the husband must be an help to his wife, and maintain her honor against them: yea though they be children of a former wife.

§. 59. Of an husbands maintaining his wife against children of a former venter, and servants.

§. 60. Of neglecting to maintain their wives.

Contrary is a dissolute carelessness of husbands, who care no more to help and succor their wives then any other.

1. Some more fear to offend their wives then they care to do them good, and in that respect they let any sort of people come to their wives that are welcome to them. If Magistrates in a Common-wealth shall answer for suffering seducers to come into their dominions to deceive their people, much more shall husbands answer for suffering them to come and deceive their wives.

• 1. Because they have a greater charge over their wives then Magistrates over their people.
• 2. Because wives ought to be dearer to husbands then people to Magistrates.
• 3. Because they may sooner espy them in their house, then Magistrates in the Common-wealth.
• 4. Because they may be much more easily kept out of an house, then out of a Common-wealth, or a City.

2. Others care not whither their wives wander: and if they do go out of their house, they shall never be sought after by their husbands: though this may be a just punishment on wandering wives, yet is it not just for husbands so to deal with them. If Christ our husband should so deal with us, we should soon be lost: for we oft go astray like wandering sheep, but he is that good shepherd, who seeketh after the lost sheep until he find it.

3. No marvel then that many husbands are no more affected with the ill reports and rumors raised against their wives, when they so little regard who come to them, or whither they go. Assuredly the discredit of a wife will turn to the man's dishonor: for as a virtuous wife is a crown to her husband, so by the rule of contraries, an infamous wife is a shame to her husband. If therefore not for his wives sake, yet for his own sake a man ought not too carelessly pass over the ill reports which are raised against his wife.

4. There be such unkind husbands as are moved with no ill usage done unto their wives, nor will hear any complaint that they make unto them: yea if they see them misused, they will either not seem to see it, or but smile at it, and so go their way, and suffer their wives to right themselves as well as they can. As this beseemeth not any Christian to suffer his neighbor to be wronged, (for it is noted as a commendable matter in Moses, that when he saw two Hebrews striving together, he took his part that had wrong done to him, and reproved the other) so much • esse an husband, to whose safe-guard his wife is committed. Nature teacheth us that the head is as much affected with a wrong • one to the body, as to it self: so ought an husband.

5. As the wrong which is done by those who are in subjection • n the house under the wife, is greater then that which is done by • trangers: so is the husbands fault the greater in suffering it: for • e hath more power over them in his house, then over others. What then may we think of such, as either by their connivance, • r by taking part against their wives, suffer both children and ser • ants to insult over them? Assuredly those husbands themselves will find some smack of the bitter and evil fruit thereof: •• d that not only by that great discontent which their wives must • eeds take thereat; but also by that contempt which will follow on their own persons, both by their wives (who cannot think them meet heads to govern others) but also by their children and servants, who thereby will take occasion to wax proud, and presumptuous against him. By despising the weaker, men grow by little and little to despise the stronger. This men of wisdom and experience well know: whereupon in Common-wealths and Policies governed by wise men, the authority of inferior Magistrates is upheld and maintained: superior Magistrates will not suffer them who are in authority under them to be despised: for it is well known, that it tends not to the honor and ease only, but to the safety also of the supreme Magistrate, to have the power and authority of inferior Magistrates respected, and not trampled under feet. It argueth therefore both want of affection, and of discretion and understanding in husbands, to suffer child, servant, or any other in the house, to insult over their wives, who are joint governors with them over the house.

§. 61. Of an husbands first beginning to love his wife.

The general matter together with the particular kinds of husbands duties being thus far handled, The manner also of performing them is to be delivered.

As Christ loveth his Church, and as we love our selves, so must men love their wives.

That we may the better follow these patterns, we must distinctly note how Christ loveth his Church, and how we love our selves.

The love of Christ to his Church is commended unto us in six several points: which are

I. For the Order, Christ began to love his Church: he mafested his love to her before she loved him: as the air heated by the Sun is hot, and a wall on which the Sun-beams smite, giveth a reflection of heat back again: so the Church, as it were heated and warmed at heart by the sense of Christ's love, loved him, as the Apostle expressly noteth, (We love him because he loved us first:) and the Church her self acknowledgeth saying, Because of the savor of thy good ointments (wherewith we are revived, and cheered) the virgins love thee.

There is in us by nature no spark of love at all: if Christ by his loving of us first, did not instill love into us, we could no more love him then a living bird rise out of a cold egg, if it were not kept warm by the dams sitting upon it.

Thus must an husband first begin to love his wife. His place of eminency, and authority requireth, that he should be to his wife, a guide, which title is expressly given to him by the holy Ghost, to teach him to go before her, and by his example to instruct, and incite her to do her duty. What a shame would it be for a man who is the Image and glory of God, the head of his wife, in the same place to her that Christ is to his Church, to be provoked by his wives wiue-like carriage (she being the weaker vessel, under him, to learn of him) to love her? Reasons there be to stir up a wife to endeavor to prevent her husband in doing her duty, which if she do, it is the greater glory to her; but this pattern of Christ should stir him much more to strive to go before her.

§. 62. Of husbands repaying unkindness for love.

Contrary, is their disposition, who having loving and dutiful wives, are notwithstanding nothing moved to love them again: but are as unkind and churlish as if they had the most • eeuish, and perverse wives that could be. But what shall we say of such as love their wives the less, yea and hate them for their forwardness to love, and (in testimony of true love) to perform all good duty? What, but that they are very devils • ncarnate? For it is the devils property to overcome good with evil. These make the doctrine of a wives subjection to seem harsh, and a careful performance thereof, an heavy burden. Never shall they partake of Christ's love, that in their place • ew themselves so unlike to Christ.

§. 63. Of the truth of husbands love.

II. The truth of Christ's love was manifested by the fruits thereof to his Church: He gave himself for it. It was therefore not in word only, no nor only in heart, but in deed also. Thus his love proved profitable, and beneficial to his Church, which thereby was cleansed, and made a glorious Church. Had he only borne a tender compassion and pitiful affection towards it, or labored only with comfortable and sweet words to uphold and succor it, it had still lain polluted with sin, in the power of the devil, and under God's wrath, and so received no profit and benefit at all.

So must husbands love their wives in truth and in deed. Such a love is required of a man to his brother: much more therefore to his wife, who is not only a sister (as the Apostle expressly styleth her) but nearer then sister, mother, daughter, friend, or any other whatsoever. This therefore serveth to press the practice of all the forenamed duties appertaining to an husband.

§. 64. Of husbands dissimulation.

Contrary is their dissimulation and hypocrisy, who make great show of much love, and pretence of earnest affection, using many outward complements, but fail when they come to the truest trial, the deed. Some like suitors or wooers, will promise mountains, but not perform moul-hills: others will coll and kiss their wives much, but trust them with nothing, nor provide for them things requisite: there be that will weep much when their wives are sick, yet not afford physic and such like things for their recovery: yea many will carry a fair face all their life long towards their wives, and at their death leave them nothing to live by.

Hence it is that many who by others are accounted to be very kind husbands, are by their wives found to be far otherwise. If trial be made of husbands love by their practice and performance of the forenamed duties, it will be found that they for the most part come as far short in love, as wives in subjection.

§. 65. Of the freeness of husbands love.

III. The cause of Christ's love, was his love, as Moses noteth, He set his love on you, because he loved you. His love arose only, and wholly from himself, and was every way free: as there was nothing in the Church, before Christ loved her to move him to love her, so can there be nothing that he could hope for afterwards, but what himself bestowed. Indeed he delighteth in that righteousness wherewith, as with a glorious robe, she is clothed; and with those heavenly graces, wherewith as with precious Jewels she is decked: but that righteousness, and those graces are his own, and of his free gift, He presents it to himself a glorious Church.

In imitation hereof husbands should love their wives, though there were nothing in wives to move them so to do, but only that they are their wives: yea though no future benefit could after be expected from them: true love hath respect to the object which is loved, and the good it may do thereunto, rather then to the subject which loveth, and the good that it may receive. For love seeketh not her own.

Christ's love in this branch thereof should further move husbands to do what lieth in their power, to make their wives worthy of love: thus will it be in truth said, that they dwell with their wives according to knowledge: and thus will their • oue appear to be as Christ's love, free.

§. 66. Of husbands loving for advantage.

Contrary is their love which is only for their own content • nd advantage. Many can love no further then they may have • ome bait to allure their affections, as beauty, wealth, honor, • r the like by-respects; or at least hope of some inheritance or • ortion above that which they have, or of some favor that they • xpect from their wives friends. This cannot be a true sound •• ue: such a man may be thought to love his wives beauty, •• heritance, and friends rather then his wife. This love cannot last.

§. 67. Of the purity of husbands love.

IIII. Christ's love for the quality is an holy, pure, chaste, •• ue: as he himself is, so is his love, as is evident by the •• fect thereof: for it moved him to sanctify and cleanse his Church, to make it a glorious Church without spot: he did therefore no way pollute or defile his Spouse: and that his love might the better appear to be chaste love, cast only upon one Spouse and not many, he united all his Saints together by the bond of his Spirit, and made them all one body.

Hereby husbands must learn so to be affected towards their wives as may stand with holiness, and chastity: though much love be required, yet it may not over-flowe those banks. Marriage is honorable and a bed undefiled. It must therefore be used as an undefiled thing. This indeed appertaineth to the wife as well as to the husband. But because he is the head, and guide of his wife, and ought to be as a pattern and president before her, as Christ is before him, therefore is it more specially applied to him. The purity of an husbands love here spoken of, hath a double use,

1. It restraineth an husbands love to his own wife. There is a general Christian love whereby all occasions of doing good are taken, with which an husband may, and ought to love others: and a particular matrimonial love, whereby he is moved to prefer his wife before all, and to have his heart set and fixed on her, and so proper and peculiar to her.

2. It orders and moderates his love, so as it turneth not into sinful lust, whereby that estate, (which in it self by virtue of God's ordinance, is holy) is polluted.

§. 68. Of husbands lightness.

Contrary, is not only adultery, whereof we have spoken before, but also wantonness, lightness, and uncleanness with his wife. For many intemperate and unchaste husbands, giving the rains to their headstrong lusts, manifest as much vnseemlinesse and plain filthiness in their words, gestures, and actions (to say nothing of their thoughts which are not seen) to their wives, as other do to strumpets and harlots which is a most shameless thing, and I am even ashamed • mention: but because it is mentioned, let such know, th • they shall be accounted among such whoremongers and adul • rers as God will judge.

§. 69. Of husbands loving their wives more then themselves.

The quantity of Christ's love cannot be expressed: for the measure of it was above measure. He gave himself for his Church, and in that respect he calleth himself that Good shepherd that gave his life for his sheep. Greater love then this hath no man. What will not he do for his spouse, that gave his life for her?

This may seem to be too high a strain, and pitch of love for an husband to attain unto: a matter wherein he is to • eaue his pattern, and not to follow Christ: but yet S. John addeth even this extent to the love of our brethren: We ought saith he) to lay down our lives for the brethren: therefore by • ust consequence for our wives. But that this extent be not stretched too far, and husbands cast into a pit of needless • erill, two cautions must be noted,

1. That there be an absolute necessity, to bring us to this • raite of parting with our life: which is, when the good we • ime at in the behalf of our wives cannot any other way be • ffected, but by venturing our life. There was no other way •• redeem the Church, but by the blood of Christ.

2. That the good we intend in this case to our wives be of • reater value then our temporal life: as is the good of her • ule, the saving of it. Thus the Apostle saith, I will most gladly bestowed for your souls. Which mind men must much more • rie towards their wives. It was for our salvation that Christ • ue himself.

§. 70. Of husbands unkindness.

Contrary is their unkindness that prefer every trifle of •• eir own before the good of their wives: their profit, their • easure, their promotion, clean draw away their hearts and •• fections from their wives. If any extraordinary charge must • laid out, or pains taken for their wives good, little love • ll then appear: whereby it appears that there was no true •• d sound love settled in their hearts towards their wives. As • ld and other like metals are tried by the fire, so love by •• ictions and crosses.

§. 71. Of combats in pretence of wives honor.

Contrary in another extreme is the over-bold and over-heady pretended manhood of such husbands as upon every jealous surmise and sleight report, are ready to make challenges of fight, and to enter into single combats and duels, on pretence of maintaining their wives honor. This being no warrantable course of righting a wrong, no honor can redound to the wife thereby, but much dishonor and danger to the husband. If he prevail over his adversary and kill, he is made guilty of murder thereby, and so reproach and shame must needs come to himself, wife, and whole family: if he be overcome and slain, she may be reputed more guilty then she was before. And oft it falleth out that God in just judgment giveth over the challenger into his adversaries hand, because he hath undertaken so indirect a course.

§. 72. Of husbands Constancy in love.

VI. The continuance of Christ's love was without date: Having loved his own, he loved them unto the end. His love was constant (not by fits, now loving, then hating) and everlasting (never repenting thereof, never changing or altering his mind) no provocations, no transgressions could ever make him forget to love, and cease to do that good which he intended for his Church: note what he said to her even when she reuoulted from him, Thou hast played the harlot with many lovers, yet return again to me: and again, My mercy shall not depart away.

For his love resteth not on the desert of his Church, but on the unchangeableness of his own will. As this manifested Christ's love to be true sound love, so it made it profitable and beneficial to the Church, which, notwithstanding her many frailties, by virtue hereof is glorified.

This last branch must be added to all the former branches of an husbands love, or else they will be all in vain and to no purpose. This giveth the truest trial of sound love. Such was the love betwixt David and Jonathan: the soundest love that ever was, betwixt party and party. This bringeth the greatest glory to the party which loveth: and the greatest benefit to the party which is loved. That a man's love may thus remain firm and inviolable,

1. He must be sure to lay a good foundation; he must ground his love on God's ordinance: and love his wife in regard of the matrimonial bond which knitteth them together, and that near union which thence ariseth; and so it will last so long as that knot lasteth.

2. He must further support and strengthen it with an inviolable resolution to be changed and altered with no provocation, but rather to pass by all infirmities; indeauouring in love to redress them if possibly he can: if not, to bear with them.

§. 73. Of husbands variableness.

Contrary is their variableness, whose love is ready to turn as a weather cock with every blast of a contrary wind: now • ender-hearted, then again hard-hearted: now smiling, then • owring: now giving this and that favor, then denying everything, even such things as are needful.

Many whose love was as hot as fire while their wives were • oung, or their friends lived, or while they pleased them, when • hose occasions are taken away, prove in their love as cold • s ice.

Again others by some continuance in doing good to their wives, think it a burden: and waxing weary clean leave off • heir former good course; which plainly showeth that they ne • er truly and entirely loved their wives.

By this pattern of Christ here propounded to husbands, • e have on the one side a good direction to teach us how to •• ue our wives, as hath been particularly declared; and on the • there side, matter of humiliation, in that it showeth us how •• re short we come of our bounden duty. Howsoever, wives • ay most complain of their burden, because it is a Subjection • hereunto by nature we are all loath to yield: yet I am sure •• e heaviest burden is laid upon the husbands shoulders: and • uch more easy it is to perform the part of a good wife, then a good husband.

§. 74. Of husbands loving their wives as themselves.

To the example of Christ the Apostle annexeth the pat •• ne of ones self, in these words: So ought men to love their •• es as their own bodies.

§. 75. Of Christ's example, a motive to provoke husbands to love their wives.

The forenamed examples of Christ and of our selves as they are patterns for our direction, so general motives to provoke and stir us up the more to perform all the forenamed duties after the manner prescribed.

A greater, and stronger motive cannot be yielded then the example of Christ. Example in it self is of great force to provoke us to do anything: especially if it be the example of some great one, a man of place and renoune.

But who greater then Christ? What more worthy pattern? If (as was shown) the example of the Church be of great force to move wives to be subject to their husbands, the example of Christ must needs be of much greater force to move husbands to love their wives. A great honor it is to be like unto Christ: and his example is a perfect pattern.

Two things there be which in Christ's example are especially to be noted to move husbands to love their wives.

1. That great inequality which is betwixt him and his spouse.

2. That small benefit which he reapeth by loving her.

For the better discerning of that inequality, the greatness of Christ on the one side, and the meanness of the Church on the other, are duly to be weighed.

Christ's greatness is in Scripture set forth by comparing him with creatures, and the Creator. Compared with creatures he is far more excellent then the most excellent, as the Apostle by many arguments proveth in the first chapter to Hebr. that whole chapter is spent in proof of this point: And in another place it is said that He is set far above all principality and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named not only in this world, but also in that which is to come.

Compared with the Creator he is no whit inferior to him, but equal: Being the brightness of glory, and the express image of his person: and that word of whom it is said, In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God: All things were made by him &c. So as he is the very Creator himself, eternal, infinite, incomprehensible. Thus is Christ's greatness inexplicable.

The meanness of the Church is as low on the other side: she is a creature, fashioned out of the earth, proceeding from the loins of corrupt Adam, not only finite, but in it self vile and base: The Prophet Ezekiel doth set her forth in her lively colors as she is in her self. Compared therefore unto Christ she is nothing, less then nothing. What equality, what proportion can there then be betwixt Christ and her?

But if man and woman be compared together, we shall find a near equality: and that both in the points of their humiliation, and also of their exaltation. In regard of the former, they are both of the same mould, of the same corrupt nature, subject to the same infirmities, at length brought to the same end. In regard of the latter the best and greatest privileges are common to both of them: they are both made after the same image, redeemed by the same price, partakers of the same grace, and heirs together of the same inheritance.

§. 76. Of a man's love to himself, a motive to provoke him to love his wife.

To the same purpose that Christ's example tendeth, tendeth also the pattern of a man's self. Great is the affection that a man beareth to himself, to his own flesh, his own body: he never hateth, but ever loveth himself: no sore, no disease, no pain, no stench that the flesh bringeth to a man, can make him hate it: but rather all manner of infirmities do make him the more to pity, tender, and cherish it. This is a work of nature: the most heathenish, and barbarous, that ever were, do it. Now a wife being to a man as his body and his flesh (for they two are one flesh) and God having commanded men to love their wives as their own bodies, these conclusions will necessarily follow from this motive:

1. He that loveth not his wife is more carried with the instinct of nature, then with the express charge of the God of nature. Natures instinct moveth him to love his body. But God's express charge moveth him not, to love his wife.

2. He that loveth not his wife is worse then an infidel and a barbarian, yea then a very beast: for all these love their own bodies, and their own flesh: but a wife (by God's ordinance) is as ones body, and his flesh.

3. He that loveth his wife loveth himself: the Apostle himself in these very words layeth down this conclusion: from whence by the rule of contraries this also will follow, He that loveth not his wife, loveth not himself.

4. He that loveth not his wife cannot but bring woe and mischief upon himself. For the damage and mischief which followeth on a wife, through any neglect of duty on her husband part, followeth also on him: as the mischief which followeth on the body through any negligence of the head, lighteth also on the head.

If these be not motives sufficient to provoke an husband to love his wife, I know not what can be sufficient.

§. 1. Of the general Heads of Children's duties.

T He second couple in a family are

• Parents.
• Children.

In laying down their duties, the Apostle beginneth with children: his direction, and instigation unto them is laid down in the three first verses of the sixth chapter: wherein

• 1. He declareth their duty.
• 2. He addeth reasons to enforce the same.

In laying down their duty he noteth three points.

• 1. Wherein it consisteth, (obey, honor.)
• 2. To whom it is to be performed (your parents.)
• 3. After what manner it is to be done (in the Lord.)

The reasons used by the Apostle are four.

• 1. The place of parents (in the Lord.)
• 2. The aequitie of the thing (this is right.)
• 3. The charge of God (Honor thy father, &c.)
• 4. The reward promised (That it may go well, &c.)

Under this word (obey) which the Apostle useth, and that word (honor) which the law useth, are all those duties comprised, which anywhere throughout the whole Scripture are enjoined to children.

We will therefore set them down in some order, and handle them distinctly one after another.

• 1. The Fountain of children's duties is to be searched out.
• 2. The Streames that flow from thence are to be observed.

The Fountain is an inward disposition of the heart compounded of love and fear.

The Streames issuing from thence extend unto parents, both while they are living, and also when they are dead.

Their Necessity requireth Recompence.

Their Body with decency must be buried.

Their Credit with honor must be maintained.

§. 2. Of Children's love to their Parents.

I make the fountain of children's duties to be a mixed and compound disposition, in respect of that authority and affection which is mixed together in parents. The authority of parents requireth fear in children: and their affection, love. So entire and so ardent is parents affection towards their children, as it would make children too bold and insolent if there were not authority mixed therewith to work fear: and so supreme and absolute is their authority over them, as it would make children like slaves to dread their parents, if a fatherly affection were not tempered therewith to breed love. But both these joined together make a very good composition: love like sugar sweeteneth fear, and fear like salt seasoneth love: and thus, to join them both together, it is a loving-fear, or a fearingloue, which is the ground of children's duties.

Where Christ forbiddeth an excessive love in children to their parents, he implieth that parents are a fit object for children to love (so as their love be well moderated:) yea he implieth that it is an affection even by nature engraffed in children to love their parents. Joseph is commended unto children as a worthy pattern in loving his father, and that from his youth till the decease of his father: in testimony whereof in his younger years he brought to his father the evil report of his brethren, whereby he incurred their envy and hatred, which he would never have done, if he had not loved his father: and having been long absent from his father, when by God's providence there was offered an occasion for him to meet with his brethren, one of his first questions to them was about their father: and hearing that he was living, he thought it not enough to send him food for his need, but must also needs see his face, and have him dwell with him: and while his father was in the way he went out to meet him, and at first sight fell on his neck, and wept a good while (a token of great affection.)

That love which naturally parents bear to their children, ought in equity to breed in children a love to their parents. For love deserveth love: and most unworthy are they to be loved, who cannot love again. The love of parents above all others is to be answered with love on children's part to the uttermost of their power, because it is free, great, and constant.

Besides, there is a necessity of love in children to their parents, lest for want thereof, their subjection (which of all others ought to be most free) should turn into slavish servitude.

This ought children the rather to labor after, because by nature they are nothing so prone to love their parents, as their parents are to love them. Love is weighty, and, as weighty things, it descendeth. Children therefore with conscience of duty must labor to make supply of this defect, and help nature by grace. I deny not but naturally there is in children a greater love to their parents, then to others: yet in comparison of the heat of parents love to them, their love to their parents is but cold. Wherefore as the heat of the Sun shining much and long on a stone wall, draweth a reflection of heat from that wall: so the hot beams of parents love, which with fervency and constancy is cast on children, ought to provoke and stir up children to send forth a reflection of love on their parents.

Two extremes are contrary to this affection of love.

One is want of natural affection, which is a vice most odious and abominable in all, but most of all in children. The Apostle reckoneth this among the most heinous vices that be.

The other is hatred and despite of parents: a vice more then monstrous, and unnatural. From thence cometh mocking and cursing of parents, whereof we shall afterwards hear.

§. 3. Of a childes fear of his parent.

To the forenamed duty of love, must fear be added, which is a childes awful respect of his parent.

This awful respect ariseth from an honorable esteem which a child in his judgment and opinion hath of his parent, as he is his parent; and from it proceedeth on the one side, a desire and endeavor in all things to please the parent, and on the other side a loathsomeness to offend him.

In this respect the fear of a child is opposed to the fear of a slave. For a childes fear being mixed with love, hath respect to the offense which a parent may take; but a slaves fear, which is ordinarily mixed with hatred, hath respect to nothing but the punishment which his master may inflict upon him. The forenamed fear is so proper to children, as that awful respect which the Saints bear to God, is called a siliall or childlike fear.

This fear in a child is an especial branch of that honor which the law requireth of children to their parents: and it is in express terms enjoined to children by the law. That phrase which God useth of Miriam ( If her father had but spit in her face, should she not be ashamed seven days?) showeth that there ought to be such a fear of the parent in a childes heart, as should work shame in it when the parent is offended.

A worthy pattern we have hereof in Jacob, who was loath to gain the blessing with offense of his father.

This fear keepeth love in compass: and restraineth a child from overmuch saucinesse, and malipartnesse.

And it is a cause of a childes reverend and dutiful carriage to his parent. For as the heart is affected the carriage will be ordered.

Contrary hereunto is that light, or (which is more abomi • nable) that base and vile esteem of parents, which is in the heart of many children: especially if parents be poor, of low degree, unlearned, ignorant, or subject to any infirmities. It cannot be but that Cham had too light, if not a base esteem of his father, when he derided him. A true filial fear would have restrained him from that extreme.

Wherefore to breed and cherish this fear, and to prevent, • r redress the contrary extreme, let children well inform themselves of their parents place and authority, how they are in God's stead, and a means under God of their children's being: children have received their very substance from the sub • tance of their parents. In which respect though they should • eeme contemptible to others, yet not to their children.

Thus much of a childes inward disposition towards his parent. The manifestation thereof must be by his outward carriage: and that in two things; Reverence, and Obedience: both which respect a parents authority.

§. 4. Of a childes Reverence in refraining speech before his parent, and in hearkening to his parent.

The outward reverence which children owe to their pa •• nts consisteth partly in their speech, partly in their carriage.

Their speech both to and of their parents must savor reverence.

To their parents in presence.

OF their parents in absence.

Patience in hearkening to their parents.

The two branches of silence, in forbearing to speak (espe ••• lly when parents are speaking, or till parents give leave to their children to speak,) and in breaking off speech, when parents come into the place where children are speaking, are tokens of great reverence. Thus children testify that there are some in place whom they much respect and honor. Job doth thus set forth the respect which Princes and others did bear to him in his prosperity, The Princes (saith he) refrained talking, and laid their hand upon their mouth, the Nobles held their peace, &c. Namely, while he was in presence, or while he spake. The like may be said of children's patience in enduring their parents speech; which Job also noteth in these words, Unto me men gave ear, and waited, and kept silence. Though parents in their speech seem to be long and tedious, yet must children endure it.

And it is very needful that patience be added to silence, because many parents in tender love of their children, and earnest desire of their good, think they can never speak enough in instructing and admonishing them. The many exhortations given in Scripture unto children to hear, hearken, give ear, give heed, mark, and observe the words of their parents, do imply the forenamed silence and patience: for they who ought to be swift to hear must be slow to speak. I deny not but much more is intended under those phrases, namely, obedience: yet must these also be presupposed: for he that will not in silence patiently hearken to his parents while they speak, will much less obey what they say.

Contrary to silence is sauciness (as we speak) and overmuch boldness in children, when, without due respect of their parents presence, they will be prating of this thing or that thing: insomuch as if strangers should come into the room where such children are, they would not think that their parents were in presence; or if they knew it, they might well think that such children bear little respect to their parents.

Contrary to patience in hearing, is fretting and murmuring against parents (if at least their speech be any whit long) an • flinging or slinking away before they have done. These faults are the greater, if children by their loquacitie, or impatiency hinder or interrupt their parents speech when they are giving any admonition or instruction: for thus they show both too light a respect of their parents: and also too little regard of the means of their own good.

§. 5. Of a childes reverend framing his speech to his parent.

A childes reverence in well framing his speech to his parents may many ways be manifested, as

1. By giving unto them reverend and honorable titles. No title can be more honorable then that which is most proper and usual, Father to the one parent, and Mother to the other. God taketh the title Father unto himself, as a title of great dignity.

§. 6. Of the vices in children contrary to the forenamed reverence in speech.

Contrary to those branches of reverence in speech are,

1. Pride: when children scorn to give the title of Father, or Mother, to their parents. This is the mind of many who have gotten more wealth or honor, then ever their parents had. In public especially such children most refuse to give those titles. Solomon was not so minded. He being a great king, sitting upon his throne, in sight and hearing of all his people that were about him, called Bathsheba Mother.

If children had that regard to the honor of their parents which they should, they being themselves in places of honor and dignity, would the rather openly call their parents Father and Mother, that they might be known to be the father and mother of so eminent a person.

2. Loquacity, and too much importunity, or rather impudency in speech, when children having to do with their parents, can never have done (as we speak) but must needs v •• matters to the very uttermost. Many parents are oft much provoked hereby. It skilleth not that the child have the right, especially in a matter of no great consequence. For reverence sake the child must forbear, at least for a time. And if the matter of difference be weighty, as in points of religion, the child must either take some other opportunity of better informing his parent, or else get some other wise friend to do it.

3. Stoutnesse, when children answer their parents as if they were their equals: giving word for word. It doth as ill become children to answer again, as servants (to whom the Apostle hath expressly forbidden it, Tit. 2. 9.) Both law and nature forbiddeth children to be provoked hereunto, by anything that their parents say or do; how great then is their fault who give scornful and stout words to their parents when they are no way provoked, as the elder son noted in the pa • able, and the elder brother of the prodigal child?

4. Indiscretion, when children have no respect to any time, business, or temper, of their parents in speaking to them, and so, much provoke them. It is laid down as a caveat to parents, that they provoke not their children to wrath. How much more must children observe that cauear?

5. Stubbornesse, when children pout, loure, swell, and give • o answer at all to their parents. This is too common a fault in children, and many parents are much offended and grieved • hereat. We heard before of a childelike silence which was • ery commendable, and a token of great reverence; but this is worthy of much blame, a token of great vndutifulnesse; and carefully to be avoided, as that to be practiced.

§. 7. Of children's reverend speeches of their parents.

So true and entire ought that reverend respect to be which children bear to their parents, as their speech not only to them • efore their faces, but also of them behind their backs, must 〈◊〉 so framed both for matter and manner, when they have any •• casion to fall into speech of their parents, as all that hear •• em may note them to bear a reuererend respect to their •• rents.

As a general direction for the better performing of this •• ty, let children speak nothing of their parents that they would be loath should come to their parents ear. More particularly, let them speak of those things which most tend to their commendation, that so (as Christ said of his father ) they may honor their parents. Let other things be buried in silence so much as in them lieth. And if others speak of matters disgraceful to their parents, let them interpret in the better sense things doubtful, and, so far as they may, extenuate things evident, and sharply reprove them that slander their parents. This is that blessing which children owe to their parents, for neglecting whereof the wiseman taxeth children saying, There is a generation that doth not bless their mother.

Contrary to that kind of blessing is discovering of parents infirmities, noted in cursed Cham, and broaching untruths of them, noted in impious Absalom, and mocking and cursing them expressly condemned. The reward whereof is by God's law death: yea a shameful and ignominious death, for the Ravens of the valley shall pluck out his eyes, and the young Eagles shall eat it: which phrase setteth forth the end of a notorious malefactor that is hanged.

§. 8. Of a child's reverend carriage to his parent.

As the speech, so the carriage of children towards their parents must be seasoned with reverence: for

• 1. This is a fruit, and proof of filial fear as well as that.
• 2. Of the two, this is the surer evidence: for actions are better signs of the disposition of the heart then words.
• 3. Faire words joined with contrary deeds, cannot but be accounted merely complemental and hypocritical.
• 4. Where there is a contrariety betwixt words and deeds, the one will be a witness against the other, and that man's condemnation the greater.

Wherefore let all reverence be manifested in children's behavior to their parents, and that in these and such like instances.

1. If a parent be coming to a child, and the child observe it, let him haste to meet his parent: so did Joseph to his father, and Solomon to his mother. Which two examples are the rather to be noted, because both were in eminent place: one a great governor, the other a king.

2. Let such childlike obeisance be performed as becometh the age and sex, either in going to, remaining before, or going from a parent: as uncovering the head, bending the knee, bowing the body, standing up, with the like. The two forenamed eminent persons, Joseph and Solomon, bowed, the one to his father, the other to his mother.

3. Let the countenance, and gesture of the body be so soberly and modestly ordered in the presence of the parent, as may argue due respect.

4. Let the upper place, and hand be given to parents: and if occasionally a child be above his parent, let him come below him. For that is a manifest token of inferiority and subjection. What maketh men to strive for the upper hand, but because they would be accounted better then those with whom they strive? But that ought not to be the mind of children to their parents.

§. 9. Of children's asking their parents blessing, whether it be lawful or no.

Some doubt is made of this duty both in regard of the thing it self, and also of the gesture of kneeling used in the performance thereof: I will therefore distinctly prove both.

For the thing, it is noted of Jacob that he carried sauory meat to his father, that he might bless him: and of Joseph, that he went to his father, and carried his two sons with him, that his father might bless both him and them: for which end the twelve sons of Jacob assembled to their father.

§. 10. Of the vices contrary to children's reverend gesture towards their parents.

Contrary to the forenamed branches of reverend gesture, are,

1. Rudeness and vnmannerlinesse, when children know not how to put difference betwixt their parents and strangers, but can suffer their parents to come to them, and they abide in their place and not stir to meet them.

2. Disdainfull stateliness, when they think much to stand bare-headed any while in their parents presence. It falleth out many times, that when parents and children are together before their betters, they will show more reverence then these: for the father will stand, and be uncovered, when the son sitteth down and puts on his hat, upon conceit that his father doth more reverence then is meet: but if it were so, yet the son for the fathers sake should stoop somewhat the lower.

3. Wantonness and boldness, when children are over-familiar with their parents: toying and gigling upon every light occasion. This kind of carriage cannot but much tend to the disgrace and dishonor of parents. For what can they who behold it think, but that such children have been too much cockered and ill nurtered?

4. Ambition, when children are so ambitiously desirous of place, especially in company, as rather then be under some whom they suppose to be at least their equals, they will be above their parents. This oft falleth out, when parents being of a lowly mind, give place to such as their children, being of a lofty mind, think meaner then themselves. Now rather then they will be under their inferiors (as they suppose) they will be above their parents. A point of great insolency. Such ought to be the respect of a child to his parent, as he should debase himself below those that are his inferiors, rather then exalt himself above his parent. As with other men, for peace sake, in many cases, a man must depart from his right; so especially with his parent, in case of superiority. Would not everyone that knows what honor a child owes to a father, condemn that child's ambition, that should so stand upon the place and hand, as to take them of his parent?

5. An over-nice and erroneous opinion of those, who think it unmeet for any child to ask their parents blessing. Their own conceit more swayeth them, then the continuali approved practice of God's people in all ages: not unlike him whom Solomon saith to be wiser in his own conceit, then seven men that can render a reason. Others, though they do not so generally disa • ow this duty, yet they think it meet only for young children: not considering of what years, stature, and state, Joseph was, when he performed it.

As for those, who think it not unlawful, yet carelessly neglect it, they little consider the benefit of a parents blessing. Profane Esau shall another day rise up in judgment against them. He beggd and beggd again and again, and that with a loud cry and salt tears, a blessing of his father.

Thus much of children's reverence. Their obedience followeth.

§. 11. Of children's obedience.

The obedience of children doth most prove the authority of parents, and is the surest evidence of the honor a child giveth to his parent: therefore is it by name in the text expressed, and all other duties are comprised under it. Reverence without obedience is a mere mockage, nothing at all acceptable. Of the two, a child were better fail in the former: instance the parable of the two sons. Reverence in comparison of obedience is but a complemental honor. Obedience is a true real honor; the surest trial of a dutiful child. Obedience is a duty so proper to children, as the Apostle applieth it to them as a proper attribute, saying, as obedient children fashion not, &c. The example of Christ is herein set before us as a pattern: he was subject to his parents. Solomon counteth the neglect thereof a despising of a parent.

Contrary is disobedience and rebellion: the greatest impeachment of parents authority that can be. For to what end is authority over those who resist it, and rebel against it? The Apostle reckoneth disobedient children among the lewdest persons that be: and setteth forth their disobedience by a metaphor taken from untamed, head-strong beasts, that will not be brought under the yoke: the word therefore is not unfitly translated unruly: and it is somewhat answerable to an Hebrew phrase given to disobedient children, viz. sons of Belial, which is according to the notation as much as sons without profit; or, as some will have • it, sons without yoke, that is, such children, as refusing to be in subjection unto parents, are no way profitable, but work much mischief, and cause great grief. The punishment which by God's law was appointed to disobedient and rebellious children, was a public shameful death.

§. 12. Of children's forbearing to do things without consent of parents.

That children may the better know their duty in this respect, I will distinctly set forth, both the parts, and also the extent of a child's obedience:

• 1. Wherein it consisteth.
• 2. How far it extendeth.

The general parts wherein it consisteth are two:

1. A forbearance from doing things without consent of parents.

2. A performance of such things as parents will have done.

The former of these is a duty whereunto children are must bound while they are under their parents government. For that time the consent of parents is not only meet, but necessary: and that for these reasons.

1. Children are as the goods of their parents, wholly in their power, to be ordered and disposed by them. On this ground Satan having all that Job had put into his hand, took liberty over his children as well as over his goods and chattell.

2. Children while they be under government, (even the eldest that are heirs) differ nothing from servants.

3. By God's law given to the Jews, parents had power to sell their children.

4. Parents had power to disannul such things as children had done. Instance the case of a vow made to God, which was one of the most inviolable things that one could do.

Contrary is the opinion and practice of many, who hold parents consent at the most but a matter of conveniency: that it is good, if children will, to have their parents consent: if they have it not, the matter is not great: their contracts or other things which they do, are as firm, and good, without, as with their consents. If this were so, wherein is the authority of a parent more then of a wise experienced friend? It is meet, and good to have such an ones consent.

But that the power of parents, and duty of children in this point, may the better be seen, I will exemplify it in five particular cases. 1. Entring into a calling. 2. Making marriage. 3. Disposing of goods. 4. Ordering apparel. 5. Making vows.

§. 13. Of consent of parents for children's entering into a calling.

I. That children ought to have the consent of their parents in making choice of their calling, and not place themselves as they please, is evident by the approved practice of the Saints recorded in God's word. Jacob was sent by his parents to Laban to be educated under him. David was appointed by his father to keep sheep: when Saul was desirous to have David attend upon him, he sent to Jesse, David's father, for him. In that Jesse was • o careful to send provision to his three eldest sons that followed Saul to the war, we may well think, that they went to the war with his consent. It is noted of Jonadab, that he appointed his • onnes to dwell in tents, and that accordingly they did so, and are • ommended and rewarded for this their obedience. It is collected • oth by ancient and later Divines, that our Lord Jesus Christ 〈◊〉 his younger years, before he began to exercise his public ministry, occupied himself in his fathers trade: and that this was •• e thing wherein he manifested his subjection to his parents. This collection is made by comparing Luk. 2. 51. (where his sub •• ction is noted) with Mar. 6. 3. and Mat. 13. 55. where he is cal •• d the Carpenter, and the Carpenters son.

Equity requireth that parents should have an hand in placing •• th their children, because they brought them forth into the • orld, and brought them up with much care, pains, and charge, • hile they were young, and till they were fit for a calling.

Besides, Godhath laid it as a charge upon parents, that they • old see their children well trained up: great reason therefore at parents consent be had in setting forth children to a calling.

§. 14. Of the unlawfulness of children's entering into religious orders without consent of parents.

Contrary is the opinion of Papists, who say, that children may • er into religious orders, not only without consent, but also a ••• nst the mind and good like of their parents. Whereby they 〈◊〉 not only patronize apparent disobedience in children, against the express word of God; but also disable children from helping their parents in case of necessity: for both which Christ rebuked the Scribes and Pharisees in a like case.

§. 15. Of the unlawfulness of children's traveling, and binding themselves prentises without consent of parents.

Contrary also to the forenamed part of children's obedience, is the practice of such children as travel, and seek their fortunes (as they speak) without consent of parents, like the Prodigal child, if not worse: for it is likely that he forced from his father a general consent, in that he obtained of him his portion of goods. These usually bring great grief to their parents, and many times make them fear more then is cause, as old Jacob feared, when he knew not what was become of his son.

Among those aberrations may be reckoned a custom in this land more usual then lawful, for children to bind themselves prentises without consent of parents: to which fault they who take indentures of such children, or otherwise covenant with them without knowledge of their parents consent, make themselves accessory.

§. 16. Of parents consent to the marriage of their children.

II. That children ought to have their parents consent unto their marriage is without all question evident. For

1. God himself hath given us herein a pattern: He first brought the woman to the man (Gen. 2. 22.) whereby he would show that he who gave a being to the woman, had a right to dispose her in marriage: which right parents now have: for from them under God, children receive their being. In this case parents stand in God's room, and are as it were God's hand to join their children in marriage.

2. God hath given express laws concerning this point. To omit that general moral law, Honor thy father and thy mother (which, as it is the ground of all other duties appertaining to children, so of this also) the authority and charge which God by his law (Deut. 7. 3) hath laid upon parents, to give their daughters to husbands, and to take wives for their sons, hath the force of a law to bind children from taking wives or husbands, without or against their parents consent. This law was not proper to the Jews only; but as a branch of the moral law it is pressed upon Christians, 1 Cor. 7. 36. 37.

To this may be added the judicial law (if it be to be accounted merely judicial) of a parents power in giving his daughter, or refusing to give her in marriage to him that had deflowered her, Exo. 22. 17.

3. Answerable to the law hath been the practice of God's Saints recorded and approved in Scripture. Isaac married the wife which his father provided (Gen. 24. 67.) Jacob both obeyed his father in going to Laban's house for a wife (Gen. 28. 2.) and also when he came to Laban asked his daughter of him (Gen. 29. 18. &c.)

Though Sampson saw a daughter of the Philistines which pleased him well, yet would he not marry her before he had his parents consent, Judge. 14. 2.

4. These words of Tamar (2 Sam. 13. 13.) Speak unto the King (who was her father,) for he will not with-hold thee from me, show that children were not wont to be married without consent of parents: Which is further confirmed by this oath of the Israelites, There shall not any of us give his daughter unto Benjamin to wife, Judge. 21. 1.

5. The ancient fathers of the Church have in their ages taught children this duty, and pronounced marriages of children without consent of parents, to be unlawful.

6. The very heathen have observed the equity hereof. Though Shechem loved Dinah, and had deflowered her, yet would he not mary her without the consent of his and her father, Gen. 34, 3. &c. Ishmael had learned as much either by the instruction he had received out of Abraham's house, or else by the light of nature; for he stood to the choice which his mother made for him, Gen. 21. 21.

7. Though Papists in other cases make the authority of parents to be of no effect, yet in this case they count it utterly unlawful for children to marry without or against their parents consent: and have thereupon made Canons against it.

8. The law of nature and nations, the civil and canon law, the common and statute law of our Land, all manner of law is agreeable to God's law in this point.

9. It hath been a custom in all Christian Churches throughout all ages, for the parent, or some in the parents room, to give the Bride to the Bridegroom at the time of the marriage: whereby the parents consent is openly manifested.

10. Many Divines of good note and name have judged such marriages as have been made simply without, or directly against parents consent (especially if parents have just cause of exception against those marriages) to be of no force till the parent be brought to ratify them: and in many Churches upon due examination of the matter, they use to account them as no marriages. Experience hath manifested the boldness of many children in setting light by their parents consent in those places where marriages once consummated are ratified, and made indissoluble, though they have been made simply without or directly against parents consent. Many children think, though it be unlawfully done, yet being done it shall stand. Whereupon if they doubt of their parents consent, they will cast how to get their marriage consummate, so as their parents may not know of it to hinder it before it is done: and after it is done, impudently resolve to bear out as well as they can, the storm of their parents displeasure. To prevent such contempt of the power of parents, and to establish that authority which God hath given them over their children, marriages without or against parents consent as aforesaid, are in many Churches made void.

§. 17. Of the equity of the point, and reasons why children should have their parents consent unto their marriage.

1. By marriage children are put from their parents: for Man must leave his Father and Mother, and cleave unto his wife. Is it not then great reason that they from whom children had their being, and by whom they have been maintained and trained up till the time of their marriage, should have notice of that kind of leaving them, and consent thereto?

2. A parents power by the marriage of his child is passed over to the husband or wife of the child. And shall such a power be taken away without consent of parent?

3. Children for the most part being heady and rash for want of experience; and seeking more to satisfy their present carnal desire, then to provide a good lasting help for themselves: but parents by the instinct of nature loving their children as well as children love themselves, and having by much experience better understanding of a meet help, and better able to use their discerning gift in this case, because it is not their own case, and yet the case of one whom they love as themselves, and to whom they wish as much good as to themselves; is it not meet even for the child's good, that in a matter of such moment as marriage, the parent should have a stroke?

§. 18. Of a child's carriage in case a parent provide an unfit mate or none at all.

§. 19. Of the sin of Children in marrying without their parents consent.

Contrary is the mind and practice of such children as over lightly esteeming their parents power, take matches of their own choice: and that sometimes privily without giving any notice at all to their parents: and sometimes most rebelliously against their parents mind and charge: not much unlike those who in the old world are condemned for taking wives of all that they chose (which was one branch of that wickedness for which the world was drowned) or rather like Esau who took such wives as proved a grief to his parents. What blessing can be expected to fall upon such marriages? or rather what curse may not be feared to follow them? God's law is transgressed thereby: his Image in parents despised, that which is more proper to them then any goods; or fraudulently, or violently taken from them: their souls grieved thereat: and they oft provoked to cast off their children, and curse their marriages. Now God's curse doth oft follow the just curse of a parent.

§. 20. Of objections for children's marrying without parents consent, answered.

§. 21. Of stealing children from parents for marriage sake.

To the forenamed sin, and to the vengeance thereof, do they make themselves accessory, who fraudulently allure, or violently take away children to marry them otherwise then their parents would. This is a worse kind of felony then stealing away the goods of a man. For children are much more properly a man's own, then his goods: and dearer to him then any goods can be: yea and so much more highly to be esteemed, by how much reasonable creatures are to be preferred before senseless, and sensual things. Our statute law expressly condemneth this, and imposeth a severe punishment on such as shall offend therein. And justly do such offenders deserve to be severely punished, both in regard of the heinousness of the sin, and also in regard of the many mischiefs which follow thereon, as, Alienation of parents affection from their children, Disinheriting heirs, Enmity betwixt the friends of each party so married, Litigious suits in law, Ruin of families, and (if the personages, whose children are married without their parents consent, be great and noble) Disturbance of whole towns, cities, and nations. Instance the destruction of the Shechemites Gen. 34. This is said to have been the cause of the ten years war betwixt the Grecians and Troianes, and of the ruin of Troy.

§. 22. Of ministers sin in marrying children without parents consent.

Such ministers also as through Carelesnesse, not taking due account of the parties whom they marie, whether they have their parents consent or no; or through bribery, being hired by reward, do marie such children as they know have not their parents consent; do in an high degree make themselves accessory to the forenamed sin. Their fact is as bad as the fact of the principals themselves. Their solemnization of such marriages emboldeneth both the parties that are so married, and also all the persons that are present thereat. They highly dishonor God's holy ordinance, in that bearing the person of God they say of such as God hath forbidden to be so joined together, Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder. If ministers had not their hand in such unlawful marriages, they could not be made: for our Church ratifieth no marriage but what is made by a minister. Wherefore some minister or other is guilty of this foul sin, whensoever any child is married without consent of parents. Well therefore doth our Church (to prevent this sin) expressly forbid ministers to marie any without parents consent: and inflict a severe censure on them that shall offend therein.

§. 23. Of children's forbearing to dispose any of their parents goods without consent.

A third branch of the subjection of children in forbearing to do anything without their parents consent, is about their parents goods.

That children though living in their parents house, ought not without their parents consent to dispose their goods, is evident by the extent of their obedience, in all things.

In that Isaac was pleased to send Jacob to Padan Aram without any great provision, it seemeth that Jacob made conscience of taking anything privily, but went as his father sent him with his staff. And the apology which he made to Laban his father in law concerning things taken away, showeth that he held it unlawful for children privily to convey • way their parents goods. What is my trespass? what is my sin? (saith he) what hast thou found of all my household-stuff?

Doth he not hereby imply, that if Laban's daughters had • aken away any of their fathers goods, it had been a trespass • nd sin?

The Apostle saith of the heir (who of all the children may seem to have the greatest right) that as long as he is a child (that is, under the government of his parents) he differeth nothing from a servant, though he be Lord of all. If he differ not from a servant, what right can he have at his pleasure to dispose his parents goods? Hath a servant any such right?

It is very requisite that children herein should be tied to their parents consent, both for the good of parents, and of children themselves.

Of parents, that they may know what they have, or have not, and accordingly order their expenses. How can parents tell what they have, if children privily without their knowledge purloin and dispose their goods?

Of children, that their lavish humor might by this means be restrained: (for youth is much prone beyond moderation to spend, if it have wherewithal) and that their parents may the better lay up for them.

§. 24. Of the sin of children in purloining and wasting their parents goods.

Contrary is both the opinion and practice of many children.

For opinion, many think and say, that whatsoever is their parents, is theirs also: and thereupon being through the watchful eye and provident care of their parents restrained from ouerlauish spending, or from laying out anything with their own hands, they murmur against that restraint.

Knowledge and persuasion of their subjection in this case, would be a good means to suppress that repining humor.

For practice,

1. Some privily take away and purloine what goods, money, wares or anything else they can come by of their parents. This the holy Ghost accounteth plain theft: for Rachel having privily taken away her fathers idols, the Scripture saith that she stole them.

Hereunto do they make themselves accessory, who counsel and encourage children so to do: as many busibodies, and deceitful persons advise daughters, when God hath taken away their mothers, to take away linen, and other-like household-stuff from their father, pretending that their father may marie another wife, who will carry all away: And upon like pretence also persuade sons when their fathers die, to convey away what they can from their mother. But such pretences are no sufficient warrant unto children to deceive their parents. It were better for children to be deprived of their parents goods, then to enjoy them with such deceit: for they will be like that bread which is sweet to a man, and afterward his mouth is filled with gravel.

2. Others riotously spend their portion, like the prodigal child, and run into debt, and so make their parents either to pay it, or to leave them to the law. Many Scholars at the Universities, Gentlemen at Inns of Court, and such children as are somewhat liberally trained up in their parents, or other friends houses, do much offend herein. Little doth this excess and riot differ from the forenamed kind of theft: and ordinarily it bringeth as many mischiefs as that doth.

3. Some also be so ungracious and ungrateful, that being come to years, and their parents grown old, seek to defeat their parents of all they have, and to bring their parents under them, to be ordered by them: laboring to get possession of all before their parents be dead, or before they be willing to resign any such right unto their children. Such were Absalom, and Adonijah. How highly displeasing such practices are to God, the vengeance which fell upon the pates of those two Brethren in evil, traitorous, and disloyal children, doth show.

All such children as seek after the forenamed, or any other like means to defraud their parents, do very ill repay their parents care over them, and more like Barbarians, then Christians, recompense evil for good: they oft bring poverty and ignominy upon their parents and themselves: they are worse then other thieves, because they are more dearly accounted of, and more freely trusted: yea they are a very bad example to servants in the house, or subjects in the commonwealth.

§. 25. Of children's contentedness to be appareled after their parents mind and liking.

IIII. A fourth branch of the foresaid subjection of children is about their apparel, that it be no other, then may stand with their parents good liking. It is noted that Israel made Joseph a coat, doth not the particular mentioning of that circumstance show, that parents must have the ordering of their children's apparel? Which is also intimated in the reason given of Tamars garment of diverse colors, namely because with such garments were the kings daughters, that were virgins, appareled. And whereas Rebekah had the keeping of her son Esau's clothes, it appeareth that his clothes were to the mind of his parents: else he would have hid them from them: for further confirmation whereof it is noted that his apparel was pleasing to his father.

Contrary is the vain-glorious humor of many children, who to the grief and discredit of their parents, apparel themselves both against the mind, and also above the ability, and unbeseeming the place and calling of their parents. Among others, many ministers children bring much discredit on their parents hereby. Let all such proud Youths note how the Lord hath threatened to visit even Kings children that are clothed with strange apparel.

§. 26. Of children's forbearing to bind themselves to do anything against their parents consent.

V. The fifth and last branch wherewith I will exemplify the forenamed subjection of children, shall be that which is expressly noted in the law, namely a childes binding of it self by a vow.

The law giveth the parent power to disannul his childes vow. It is therefore a childes duty to abstain from vowing without his parents consent.

Contrary are such vows as Papists allure children to make, namely, vows of continency, perpetual virginity, regular obedience, voluntary poverty, with the like.

Though by these they be not drawn to forsake their parents (which before we proved to be utterly unlawful:) and though these in their nature were lawful (which they are not, because they are against God's law and ordinance, and against Christian liberty, and savor too rankly of Judaism, yea of a worse superstition,) yet without parents consent might they not be made.

As unlawful are oaths, and other like means, whereby children bind themselves to the performance of such indifferent things, as their parents are not willing they should do. What doth this but bring a snare upon the consciences of children, and cause a necessity of breaking one of God's commandments? either the third, in breaking their vow or oath; or the fifth, in disobeying their parents.

§. 27. Of children's active obedience.

The affirmative and active part of a child's obedience, consists in yielding himself pliable to his parents will; which must be added to the forenamed negative and passive part of obedience in forbearing to do things without consent of parents, for manifestation of a true childlike affection and disposition toward the parent. Passive obedience may arise from mere fullennesse, and stoutness of stomach. For there are many who will forbear to do this or that without consent of parents, because they are loath to ask their consent: they had rather have their own wills crossed in the things they desire, then be made subject to their parents will. What doth this argue, but a stout stomach, and a disdainful heart? Besides, to forbear the doing of an unlawful thing, is but to abstain from evil. But it is required of Christians to do that which is good, as well as to abstain from that which is evil. This is it which is commended in Jacob: he did not only forbear to take such a wife as would be a grief to his parents (wherein his brother Esau had offended) but also obeyed his parents in taking such a wife as they willed him to take.

This general point we will exemplify in four particular instances, namely, in a child's obedience to his parents commandments, instructions, reproofs, corrections.

§. 28. Of children's obedience to their parents commandments.

I. What lawful commandments soever parents give to their children, they must be ready to the uttermost of their power to obey. Obey your parents, saith the Apostle to children.

Parents, by virtue of their place, have power and authority to command: Children therefore must obey, or else that power is to no purpose.

To demonstrate this by some particulars:

1. If a parent call his child, or send for him, he must readily come, yea though he know not the occasion. Eli was in place of a parent to Samuel, whereupon the child supposing that Eli called him, ran to him once, and again and again. David when he was sent for by his father out of the field to be anointed King, knew not the occasion, yet came. The twelve sons of Jacob, though men grown, yet called for by their father, assembled themselves together before him.

2. If a parent be disposed to send his child any whither, or of any errand, though it be far off, and may seem somewhat troublesome, yet he ought to go, and do it. The forenamed example of Jacob, the example also of Joseph (being sent to see whether it were well with his brethren) and of the ten sons of Jacob (being sent by their father into Egypt,) and of David (sent to visit his brethren in the host) are in this case commended by the holy Ghost. Of David it is noted, that he arose up early and went as Jesse had commanded him: which setteth forth his ready obedience.

3. If a parent require his child to attend upon him, he must also do that. When Abram was going up to the top of Moriah his will was that his servants should tarry behind, and that his son Isaac should attend him, and carry the wood for the sacrifice, and accordingly Isaac obeyed.

4. If a parent enjoin any task, or commit any business to his child, he ought faithfully to perform it. This kind of faithful obedience is commended in Joseph, in the Rechabites, and in David, with many others. Joseph, by reason of his great place, might not go out of Egypt, yet to perform that which his father enjoined him, he asked leave. The Rechabites were tempted to break their fathers charge, yet they would not. David when he was sent by his father, from the sheep which were committed to his custody, was careful to leave them with a keeper: and again, when a Bear at one time, and a Lion at another came to the flock, he put his life in hazard to preserve the flock: all these circumstances are thus noted, to set forth the great care that these children had to discharge that charge which their parents had committed to them.

§. 29. Of children's disobedience to their parents commandments.

Contrary is a rebellious disposition in children, manifested by these and such like practices,

1. By refusing to be at their parents call; or coming (as we speak) at leisure, and making their parents wait for them.

2. By a lazy, sluggish pretending of vain and frivolous excuses, when their parents would send them of an errand, like that sluggard, who saith, A lion is without, I shall be slain in the streets. Such pretences are as vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes.

3. By scorning to wait on their parents; and in that respect they will slinke out of doors, and absent themselves, when they imagine their parents will use their service in that kind: they forsooth will not be their parents servants: and impious conceit.

4. By refusing to do what their parents enjoin them to do, and require at their hands, like the younger son, that went not to work in the vineyard at his fathers command. Such children for the most part offend herein, as through pride think the business enjoined to them too mean, and base to do. Had David, or the daughters of Reguel been of this mind, the one would not have returned to his fathers sheep, after he was anointed to be King over Israel, and after he had been called to the Court; and the other would not have watered their fathers sheep, especially among such rude and biosterous clownes, as without all respect to their place and sex, would drive them away.

§. 30. Of children's obedience to their parents instruction.

II. Such wholesome instructions as parents give their children for the well ordering of their carriage, children ought conscionably • o obey: a point which Solomon much presseth: My son, saith • he, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy another, &c. And to move children the rather to do so, he sets before them his own example, showing that he required no more of them then himself had performed. Moses, though grown to years, and a prince among his people, testified his obedience to his father in law hereby.

1. Parents have an express commandment to instruct their children (as we shall after show.) Great reason therefore that their children hear and obey them therein. The good instructions of any one are to be regarded, much more of parents.

2. Great wisdom may be attained thereby: for the desire that parents have of their children's good, maketh them give the best directions they can unto them, even what themselves have learned of others, or observed by their own experience: in this respect, Solomon styleth him a wise son that obeyeth the instruction of his father: and resembleth the fruit and benefit thereof, to acomely ornament, to chains, and bracelets, and to a crown of glory.

3. Much joy and comfort is brought to parents by seeing their children observe their instruction: for a wise son maketh a • glad father. Now this is a thing which children ought to aim at, to rejoice their parents heart. Esau is taxed for grieving his parents.

Contrary is their proud and foolish humor, who think they need no instruction, their parents are too jealous of them, they are wise enough of themselves; if their parents would but let them alone, they should do better: thus they show themselves impious against God, rebellious against their parents, and injurious to themselves. Such were Eli's, and Lots sons. Now note the vengeance that fell upon them.

§. 31. Of children's patience to their parents reproof.

III. The obedience of children must further extend itself to their parents reproof: and that by patient bearing all manner of reproofs, and by amending what is justly reproved. That shame, whereof the Lord speaketh, which should be in a child, when her father hath spet in her face, that is, by some outward sign manifested his anger, implieth a child's patient bearing of a parents reproof. This patience in a child must be manifested to his parent, whether his reproof be mild or bitter, just or unjust. In this respect a child must more consider the person who reproveth, then the matter or manner of the reproof. Iaakobs reproof of Joseph, for his dreams which came of God, was unjust: the manner of uttering it, with many short pauses, and that interrogatiuely, implieth some tartness: yet such was his patience, as we read not of one discontented word that he gave. But most memorable is the patience of Jonathan in this kind. His father Saul's reproof of him was directly unjust, and out of measure bitter: yet with what patience did he bear it? all that he replied was to make some little apology for David: he replied nothing against his fathers opprobrious speeches.

Great wisdom may be learned by this patience: for so may a child better judge of his parents reproof, whether it be just or no. Though it be unjust, yet thereby may he observe what is displeasing to his parents: at least he may observe his parents infirmity, and so know the better how to carry himself towards them.

Contrary is the practice of such children, as upon every reproof of their parents are ready to * answer again. Our parents are wayward, say they, who can bear them? If none else could bear them, yet should children: for parents ordinarily bear such waywardness, and untowardness at their children's hands, especially while they are young, as none else would or could.

§. 32. Of children's readiness to amend what is justly reproved by their parents.

If a child be justly for his fault reproved by his parents, both conscience toward God, and obedience to his parent, requireth that he readily redress that which is amiss. Unless amendment of the thing justly reproved be added to patient bearing of reproof, that patience can be no better accounted of, then dissimulation, and plain mockage. When the father in law of Moses told him, that what he did was not well, he forthwith amended it.

But contrarily many lewd and ungracious children continue to go on in their wicked courses, though their parents again, and again rebuke them for it. Just was Eli's reproof of his children, but yet no amendment followed. Now note the inference made thereupon by the holy Ghost, They obeyed not the voice of their father, because the Lord would slay them: whereby is implied, that to despise the just reproof of parents is an evident sign, and forerunner of God's heavy judgment. Solomon calls the child which will hear no rebuke, a Scorner, which noteth out a most obstinate sinner that cannot be reclaimed, and in that respect is scorned of the Lord.

§. 33. Of Children's submission to their parents correction.

IIII. Correction is a real reproof, a reproof in the highest degree, even the seuerest kind of reproof: so as by subjection hereunto great trial of obedience is made. By the same means must a childes submission to his parent in this kind of reproof be manifested, as in the former: namely,

1. By bearing patiently the correction which his parent shall give him.

2. By amending readily that for which he is justly corrected.

The former of these is noted by the Apostle as a ruled case, a matter not to be denied, in these words, We have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence. One special part of this reverence is a patient suffering: therefore he infers thereupon, ought we not to be in subjection? &c.

The latter is set forth by Solomon under an effect which followeth upon the performance thereof: for having advised a parent to correct his child, he addeth this reason, He shall give thee rest, yea he shall give delight unto thy soul: how can this rest, and delight be given, but by the childes amendment of that for which he is corrected? A parent taketh no delight in the pain, and smart of his child, but in the fruit that followeth thereupon. As a childes transgression is a grief, and vexation to the parent, so his amendment causeth rest and delight. Now this effect followeth not simply upon correction, but upon the good use thereof which is made by the child. It lieth therefore in the child, and so lieth upon him as a duty, to give this rest and delight to his parent by amending the fault for which he is corrected, as he brought grief to him by provoking him to use correction. Thus shall neither parent repent the inflicting, nor the child repent the enduring of correction.

That a child may attain to this degree of obedience, he must duly consider both the Cause whereby his parent is moved to correct him, and also the End which he aimeth at therein. The cause is the love he beareth to his child. The end which he aimeth at, is his childes good. If these motives work not obedience, what can?

§. 34. Of refusing, or abusing correction.

Contrary is disdain on the one side, and obstinacy on the other. Disdaine, when children scorn to be corrected by their parents: and in that respect when by all the means they can use, they cannot avoid it, they will mutter and murmur, fret and fume, rage and rave against their parents, and despise and hate them for it. Obstinacie, when they will be no whit bettered thereby, but still run on in their lewd courses, and rather wax the worse for being corrected. This may be counted the highest pitch of a childes rebellion: for this is the last means which a parent can use to reclaim his child from desperate courses. If this prevaileth not, the law of God requireth, that a parent should give up his child into the hand of the Magistrate, that he may be put to death.

Hitherto of the distinct branches of children's Obedience.

The Extent thereof followeth.

§. 35. Of children's conforming their judgments to their parents.

The extent of children's obedience is only implied in this Epistle to the Ephesians, but it is expressed (Col. 3. 20) in these words, Children obey your parents IN ALL THINGS. A large extent, but not simply to be taken without any limitation: for the Apostle himself noteth a restraint in these words, In the Lord. So far forth as children transgress not any of God's commandments in obeying their parents, they ought to obey. This is to obey in all things, in the Lord.

The extent of children's duties being the very same that was of wives duties: and the restraint also the same, that order which was there observed shall here also be kept. Only other proofs more pertinent to children's place, shall be brought to confirm those general propositions which may be applied to any inferiors. Many general reasons there alleged for proof of the propositions shall here be omitted. Wherefore compare this place with that.

Thus we see that parents authority is very large: there is no restraint of it but God's contrary command, whereof a child must be assured, if he refuse to obey his parent in anything.

It is not enough for a child to say I have thus long, and in thus many things obeyed my parent, I hope in some things if I have mine own will, I may be excused. No: All things comprise more then many things. Wherefore Many are not enough. And though God's will be exempted, yet is not thine own will exempted: though thou mayest do nothing against God's will, yet thou oughtest to do many things against thine own will, if it be contrary to thy parents.

Two things are to be labored after by children for attaining to this extent of obedience in all things.

1. They must labor to bring their judgment and will to the bent of their parents: to think that meet and convenient for them to do which their parents will have them do. Though Isaac thought it somewhat strange that he should carry wood up to an hill to offer sacrifice where was nothing for a burnt offering, yet it being the will of his father that he should do so, he thought it meet enough for him to do so.

This subjection of judgment and will is to be yielded in all the particular cases of obedience which were before propounded, as in their calling, marriage, apparel, allowance, &c. So as children are to think that kind of calling, that particular match, that apparel, and that allowance to be meetest for them, which their parents think meet.

If the judgment be persuaded of the meetness of a thing, and the will inwardly brought to yield unto it, outward obedience will more readily and cheerfully be yielded thereunto.

Contrary is the ouerweining conceit which many children have of their own judgment and will, who think they can better discern what is fit and meet for themselves, then their parents. They imagine their parents to be too strict and precise, or too suspicious and jealous, or too covetous and worldly. This maketh them take what callings, what matches, what apparel, what allowance they think best; whence many mischiefs arise, which would all easily be avoided, if they would lay down that presumptuous conceit, and labor to observe the forenamed direction.

§. 36. Of children's yielding to practice at their parents command, such things as in their judgments they cannot think very meet.

2. Though children cannot in their judgments think that which their parents require to be the fittest and meetest, yet being pressed thereto by the peremptory command of their parents, in practice they ought to yield unto it, saying to their parents as Peter to the Lord, Nevertheless at thy word I will do this, Thus did Jacob yield to Rebekah: he thought by doing that which his mother bid him, he should seem a •• ocker to his father, yet she urging him, he did it.

§. 37. Of the restraint of children's obedience.

The restraint of children's obedience is expressed in this clause, in the Lord: which phrase affordeth a necessary limitation in obeying their parents, who are but parents of our flesh, men and women, subject to err in their commandments, and to require such sinful things as their children may not with a good conscience perform. The limitation then which the forenamed clause (in the Lord) affordeth, is this,

Children must perform no other obedience to their parents, then may stand with their obedience to God. The reasons rendered by the Apostle prove as much: This is right, this is well pleasing to the Lord. But to obey parents against the Lord is neither right nor well pleasing to the Lord.

If therefore parents command their children to do anything which the Lord hath forbidden them, they ought not to do it. On this ground did Michal well in suffering her husband David to escape out of the hands of Saul her father. I justify not her manner of carrying the matter, with untruths, and false tales; but her refusing to yield to her fathers mind and will is justifiable, and that in two respects.

1. In that the difference was betwixt her husband and father. Now by God's law a wife is to yield to her husband rather then to her father.

2. Because she knew her father sought to slay him: if then she had delivered him into the hands of her father, she had made her self accessory to murder. In this latter respect Io •• athan also did well in refusing to fetch David at his fathers command.

Thus if a father command his child to go to Mass, to forswear himself, to marry an Idolater, to steal, to lie, or to commit any other sin forbidden by God, the child ought not to obey: those things cannot be done in the Lord.

Again if parents forbid their children the doing of any necessary duty commanded of God, the child ought to do it notwithstanding the parents inhibition. We may well think that Ahaz who set himself so violently to deface the holy things of God, to profane his ordinances, and to shut up the doors of God's House, gave strait charge to his son that he should not repair them again; yet Hezekiah so soon as he had power did repair all.

If a parent forbid his child to go to the Protestants Churches, to hear a Sermon, to pray in a known tongue, to give just weight, and measure, to speak the truth when he is called to witness it, with the like; he must be of Daniel's mind, and notwithstanding that prohibition, do the things which God requireth.

§. 38. Of children's sin in yielding to their parents against God.

Contrary to this limitation is on the one side a flattering eye-service in many children, who care not what they do, be it good or evil, lawful or unlawful, so they may please their parents thereby: and on the other side a slavish fearfulness, which maketh them so to dread their parents as they fear not God at all: they will rather choose to sin and so provoke God's wrath, then do anything whereby their parents wrath may be provoked. It is a brand set upon evil kings that they walked in the ways of their fathers, and mothers: and did wickedly as they counseled them. Wherefore the following and obeying of their parents in evil was so far from extenuating their sin, as it did rather aggravate the same. The preferring of father and mother before the Lord Christ showeth that such a child is not worthy of Christ: In comparison of Christ Father and mother must be hated. But that undue and unchristian-like respect of parents above Christ, is it that maketh so many young Papists, young swagerers, swearers, liars, deceitful persons, and lewd livers.

For avoiding the two forenamed extremes let thine heart be filled with a true fear of God, and withal consider the difference betwixt our earthly parents and our heavenly Father. They are but parents of our flesh, he is the Father of spirits. They can but touch the body, he can cast body and soul into hell. They are but a while over us, he forever. Their authority is subordinate to his, his supreme & absolute of it self. They can give but a light temporary reward; he, an eternal weight of glory. They cannot shelter us from his wrath, he can from theirs.

Hitherto of such duties of children as respect their parents authority, such as respect their necessity follow.

§. 39. Of children's Recompence.

The general head whereunto all the duties which children owe to their parents in regard of their Necessity, is in one word Recompence, which is a duty whereby children endeavor as much as in them lieth, to repay what they can for their parents kindness, care, and cost towards them, and that in way of thankfulness; which maketh a child think he cannot do too much for his parent, & well may he think so, for a parent doth much more for his child before it is able to do for it self, then the child possibly can do for the parent. So as if the parents authority were laid aside, yet the law of equity requireth this duty of Recompence: so also doth the law of piety and charity. Wherefore of all other Duties this is most due. It is in express terms given in charge to children by the Apostle, who willeth them to learn to requite their parents.

Contrary is neglect of parents in their need, which is more then monstrous ingratitude. As all ingratitude is odious to God and man, so this most of all, and yet very many are guilty thereof. In them the proverb is verified that love is weighty. For it is the property of weighty things to fall down apace, out to ascend slowly, and that not without some violence. Thus love from the parent to the child falleth down apace, • ut it hardly ascendeth from children to parents. In which respect another proverb saith, One father will better nourish nine children, then nine children one father. Many children in his kind do no more for their parents, then for strangers. They either consider not how much their parents have done for them; or else they conceit that what their parents did, was of mere duty, and needeth no recompense. Fie upon such barbarous and inhumane children!

§. 40. Of infirmities whereunto parents are subject.

The rule of the forenamed recompense is on the one side the parents Necessity, and on the other, the childes Ability. So as in everything wherein a parent needeth his childes help, the child to his power must afford his best help. Beyond ones power nothing can be expected.

Inward Infirmities are weakness of judgment, slipperiness of memory, violence of passion with the like; whence proceed frowardness, testinesse, suspiciousnesse, jealousy, fear, grief, &c.

Outward Infirmities are such as arise from some instant temptation, as were Noah's and Lots drunkenness; Lots and David's uncleanness; Abraham's and Isaakes dissimulation; Iaakobs and David's excessive lamentation, &c.

Some of these latter, which may seem most heinous and odious sins, are then to be accounted infirmities, when they who commit them make not a sport of them, nor delight to live and lie in them, as swine to wallow and lie in the mire: but only at sometimes, through some temptation, as it were unawares, fall into them; and after they are committed they are themselves more ashamed of them, and more grieved for them, then any other that see them, or hear of them.

In regard of the natural infirmities of parents, the duty of children is both to bear with them, and also to cover them so far as they can.

§. 41. Of children's bearing with their parents infirmities.

Children bear with their parents infirmities when they do not the less reuerendly esteem their place, or person, nor perform the less duty to them because of their infirmities.

This is the first particular branch of recompense. For children in their younger and weaker years are subject to many infirmities: if parents had the less respected them for their infirmities, and from thence had taken occasion to neglect them, and would not have borne with them, surely they could not have been so well brought up. That great patience, long-sufferance, and much forbearance which parents have shown towards their children, requireth that children in way of recompense show the like to their parents as occasion is offered. It was a great infirmity in Isaac to prefer Esau a profane child, before Jacob a religious child, especially against God's express word concerning Jacob; yet Jacob respected not his father a whit the less for it, as appears by his fear to offend him, and by his readiness to obey him. Iaakobs unjust reproof of Joseph was no small infirmity, and yet how much Joseph reverenced and every way respected his father the history following showeth. Saul's infirmities were far more and much greater then any of theirs, yet what duty and faithfulness did Jonathan his son perform to him, even to their deaths? for he died with him.

We have herein the pattern of Christ himself: how great infirmity did his mother bewray, when over-rashly she rebuked him being about a good work, a bounden duty, his Fathers business? yet immediately thereupon it is noted that he went down with his parents, and was subject to them: which manifesteth the honor he gave to his mother, notwithstanding her infirmity.

Contrary to this duty do they, who take occasion from their parents infirmities to think basely of their person and their place, and thereupon grow careless in duty, either refusing to do any duty at all, or else doing it carelessly, grudgingly, disdainefully, and scornfully. Absalom made a supposed infirmity of his father the ground of his rebellion. Had his pretence been true, yet had it not been a sufficient cause for him to disgrace, and rise against his father, as he did. The law that threateneth God's vengeance against such children as mock at their father, or despise to obey their mother, maketh no exception of parents infirmities.

§. 42. Of children's covering their parents infirmities.

Children cover their parents infirmities both by passing by them (as we speak) and taking no notice of them, and also by concealing them from others as much as they can. The Scripture noteth it to be a property of love to cover a multitude of sins: now in whom should love abound, if not in children? And who should more manifest this property of love then children?

Of passing by and concealing from others a parents infirmity, we have a worthy pattern in Shem and Japheth: when Noah their father being drunken lay uncovered in the midst of his tent, they went backward (that they might not themselves see their fathers infirmity) and covered his nakedness (that others might not see it.) The blessing which upon this occasion was then promised to them and their posterity, showeth how acceptable this duty was to God.

Contrary was Chams practice, who discovered, and made known his fathers nakedness. The curse thereupon denounced against him, showeth how odious that sin was unto God. Too many there be of Chams cursed brood, who blaze abroad their parents infirmities, and make such things known of them, as otherwise would not be known: whereby they bring much dishonor and shame upon their parents (which can be no honor to the children,) and withal a curse from their parents on themselves, which the heathen accounted very dreadful.

More contrary was Absolom's practice, who raised a most malicious slander of his father, and thereby alienated his subjects hearts from him. Too many Absalom- like seek to raise a supposed reputation and honor to themselves by vilifying and disgracing their parents: but let them note Absolom's end. Assuredly, if they hold on in that course, the like, or a worse, shall be their end.

§. 43. Of children's bearing with their parents casual necessities.

Casuall extremities, are all manner of crosses which by the providence of God are laid upon a man: whether upon his body, as blindness, lameness, sickness, &c. or on his person, as captivity, banishment, imprisonment, &c. or on his estate, as pouerrie, penury, &c. In all these, children must bear with their parents, as in the forenamed infirmities; neither less reuerendly esteem of them, nor perform the less duty because of them. These are such necessities, as are not sinful in themselves; and therefore in regard of these, parents are much more to be borne withal. Though Isaac were blind, yet did not Jacob a whit the less respect him. Though Naomi were poor, yet Ruth her daughter in law continued to do a child's duty and service unto her.

Contrary is the unnatural disposition of such children, as take occasion from these casual necessities of their parents to despise them. God hath made an express law against despising those who are by any outward defects impotent, as deaf, blind, &c. If no person may despise another, for these, much less children their parents. They are worse then Cham that do so, and may look for an heavier curse.

§. 44. Of children's relieving their parents according to their need.

Besides bearing with parents necessities, in such cases as parents stand in need of their children's relief and succor, they must afford it them. In sickness they must visit them, as Joseph visited his father. In time of mourning, they must comfort them, as the children of Jacob. In want, they must provide things needful for them, as the sons of Jacob, who went up to buy food for their father; and as Joseph, who sent for Jacob into Egypt, and there nourished him. It is noted of Ruth, that she did not only glean for her mother a poor woman, but also reserved some of that food which was given to her self to eat, for her. In time of danger they must do what they can for their protection and preservation, as David had in this respect an especial care of his father and mother. Yea, if God be pleased to take children out of this world before their parents, and their parents be succorless, they must take what order they can for the well-being of their parents after their own departure, as Christ, who commended his mother to his disciple John a little before his death. These and such like duties are particular branches of recompense, and are all comprised under that requital, which the Apostle requireth of children: And they are but a small part of requital of all the pains, care, and charges, that parents have been at with their children. Yea, this only thing, that parents have brought forth children into the world, can children never sufficiently requite. Nature hath taught thus much, not only unto heathen men, but also unto the unreasonable creatures. Among other unreasonable creatures, the example of the Stork is worthy to be noted: for it is recorded of that kind, that when the dams are old, the young ones feed them; and when through age, they are ready to faint in their flying, the young ones will help; and when they are past flying, the young ones carry them on their backs. The Greek name of a Stork is taken from that word, which signifieth, to requite a parents kindness: or else this word is taken from that name: they are both of the same notation.

Contrary is the opinion of Pharisees, who thought that children by consecrating their substance to the Temple, might be freed from this duty of recompense to parents, which is the mystery of that Hebrew word Corban. They made a mere pretext of piety to God, a cause of manifest impiety against parents. Christ giveth this verdict of them, that they make the word of God of none effect. Papists are of the same opinion, and so under the same censure.

Contrary also is their practice, who having the goods of this world, suffer their parents to want. S. John saith, that the love of God dwelleth not in him, who shutteth up his compassion from his brother in that case; how then can it dwell in such a child? Not they only who suffer their parents to starve, offend in this extreme, but they also who suffer them to live poorly, and basely, when themselves Dives-like fare delicately, and go gorgeously attired every day.

In an higher degree do they offend, who bring their parents to such extremities, as to poverty by their lavish spending; to prison by importuning them to be their sureties; to excessive grief by their mischievous practices, as the sons of Jacob.

But what shall we say of such graceless children, as dare strike their parents? God's law accounteth such a child unworthy of life, and adiudgeth him to death.

Nay, what may be said of father-quellers, and mother-quellers? There was of old no particular law made against them, because it is, supposed, that no child can be so unnatural and inhumane. In imitation whereof Solon, that wise law-maker among the heathen, made no law against them: and his reason being asked, he answered, that he thought no child would commit such a fact.

When afterwards such inhumane impiety was manifested in the world, the Civil Law ordained this punishment; If any shall kill his parent, let him not be put to the sword, nor fire, nor any other usual punishment: but let him be sowed in a sack with a dog, and a cock, and a viper, and an ape, and cast into the next sea, or river; that while life is in him, he may begin to want all use of the elements, and be deprived, while he liveth, of the air, and when he is dead, of the earth.

This sin having been committed among the heathen, the Apostle reckoneth it up among other most notorious and barbarous sins, 1. Tim. 1. 9. As murder is one of those sins, which the earth can least bear, and which crieth loudest to heaven for vengeance; so among the several kinds of murder, this is the most unsupportable, and crying.

§. 45. Of children's care to bury their parents being dead.

It is the duty of children to bring the bodies of their parents deceased, with such decency and honor, as may be answerable to the place and reputation wherein they lived.

So as both the thing it self, and the manner of doing it, is to be observed.

The thing it self, namely Burial of the corps of such as are deceased, hath ever been in use in God's Church: and it hath been used as a means to maintain our hope of the resurrection of our bodies. Many of the heathen, who never dreamt of the resurrection, were wont to burn the dead bodies of their friends: other heathen learned this manner of burial from the Church, though they knew not the mystery thereof. It is more clear then needs be proved, that God's people, from the beginning of the world, have performed this duty of burial to their friends; but it is not pertinent to the point in hand, to insist upon the general: that it belongs especially to children to procure this duty to be performed, is now the point to be proved, which is readily done by the approved examples of Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, and others expressly recorded in Scripture.

And great reason there is for it: for

1. It is a testimony of great love and good respect to the party deceased. Now who should manifest more love, and greater respect then a child?

2. It is a kind of blessing, promised by God to his Saints, to be buried: as on the other side, it is a curse threatened against obstinate sinners, not to be buried. In this respect, David blesseth the men of Jabesh Gilead for burying Saul, and acknowledgeth it a kindness done to Saul. Now who ought rather to procure a blessing, and do a kindness to parents, then children, who are oft blessed through their parents means?

3. It being a great deformity to have a man's corps lie above ground (for no carcass will be more loathsome then a man's if it lie unburied) children, who are most bound to cover their parents deformity, are in this respect bound to bury their corps.

Contrary is their practice whose minds are so set on their parents goods, as they clean neglect their bodies. So soon as their parents breath is out of their body, they so busy themselves about the things which they have left behind them, as their corps is ready to stink before care be taken for the burial of it. Yea, some will purposely keep their parents corps above ground till they be exceeding noisome, for receiving some revenues, or debts, or other accounts, which must be paid before the corps be buried. If their corps must needs for sometime be kept above ground, let them be imbalmed, or so used as they may not savor. They who are careless hereof, show that they respect their parents wealth more then his person and honor.

In which respect they also heinously transgress, who are so greedy of their parents estate, as they must needs prevent his departure, and like Adonijah enter upon their fathers estate, and take possession of his goods before breath is out of his body: whereby they do oft cause great disquietness to him that would depart in peace.

Again, others bearing an inward grudge and secret hatred against a brother, or other kinsman, whom their parent entirely loved, and in that respect durst not meddle with him in their parents life-time, so soon, as their parent is dead, pick a quarrel with the party hated, and so disturb and hinder their parents funeral. Such a plot Esau intended: but God defeated it, whereby it appeareth that God is displeased therewith.

§. 46. Of the decency wherewith children ought to see their parents buried.

The manner after which children ought to see their parents buried, must be with such decency as is agreeable to the commendable custom of the country and Church where their parents die, and with such honor as is in some measure answerable to the estate, and place of their parents while they lived (at least if it be not above the means that the parent hath left, or above the ability of the child that maketh the solemnity.) Joseph was a great Governor in Egypt, by reason whereof his father when he came thither was highly accounted of: accordingly with great honor did he carry him to his grave.

There are two extremes contrary to the forenamed decency • nd honor. One is an ouerlauish and prodigal sumptuousness • nd solemnity at their parents funeral, far above the estate, • nd far beyond the means which the parent hath left, and • arre also above the estate and ability of the child himself. • ome by the needless solemnity of their parents funeral are •• far cast into debt, as they are never able to recover themselves again, and so bring more dishonor to their parents by • he weakness of their childes estate, then honor by the so •• mnitie of the funeral: there may be great honor, and much decency in a funeral, where is not extraordinary char • es: instance Stevens funeral.

The other extreme is too base and private a manner of • urying their parents, much unbeseeming both their parents • nd their own estate, and means; which ariseth from a mixture • f pride, and covetousness possessing their hearts. Pride ma • eth them have no solemnity at all, because couerousnesse will not suffer them to exceed in their solemnity. Hence it cometh to pass that they choose out strange places where neither their parents or selves are known, and the dead of the night that none may espy them; and appoint an uncertain time, that no friend may accompany them. God oft meeteth with such proud, covetous children in their kind, and causeth them with like dishonor to be brought to their graves.

§. 47. Of children's paying their parents debts after their death.

As children must have respect to the body of their parents deceased, so also to their credit and name, which is a thing of greater account, and honor: a thing wherein they may bring a kind of blessing to their parents and make them live after their death.

Parents themselves cannot do anything when they are dead to preserve the same: children therefore being the living Image of their parents must endeavor to do it.

Three things there be which children must make conscience of, even in regard of their deceased parents credit, and reputation; one, to pay their debts: another, to suppress ill rumors: a third, to imitate their good example.

I. If the estate of parents, their goods or lands come to their children, their duty is to pay their debts, so far as they can: especially if by law those debts may be recovered at their hands. For what law may force others to do in equity and Justice, conscience must move good children to do in charity, and recompense to their parents. The holy Ghost makes it a note of a wicked man to borrow and not to pay. Wherefore to wipe away that blot from the name of a parent deceased, children must be ready in this kind to do what the parent himself, if he were living, would, or should do. Yea if children of themselves be well able, though their parents left not sufficient to pay all their debts, they ought to pay them. Herein especially a childlike affection is manifested to the parent.

Contrary is their practice who strive to get all they can of their parents, and yet make no conscience of paying any debts at all, unless law force them thereto. What they do in this case cannot be thought to be done for their parents sake, but rather for their own sake. Many so little respect their parents credit in this kind, as they privily convey away and utterly conceal much of their parents estate, of purpose to defeat Creditors: which as it is a part of apparent injustice, so it is a cause of opening the mouths of men against their parents, to their discredit and shame.

§. 48. Of children's suppressing evil reports against their parents deceased.

* The direction given before concerning children's speech of their parents behind their backs, may fitly be applied also to the care which children ought to have of the speeches and reports which are made of their parents after their departure. It followeth as from the less to the greater, that what children do for their parents credit in absence behind their backs, they must much more do when they are dead: for then there is no hope, no possibility that parents should do anything to right their own wrong in that kind: it lieth therefore upon children to do it.

Do not they clean contrary, who take occasion from the departure of their parents, both to open their ears to receive any ill reports of them, and also to open their mouths to speak ill of them: then blazing abroad all their infirmities, and stretching their ill reports of their parents beyond the lists of truth. Ill birds they are that so bewray their own nest. They know that their parents being dead can have no notice thereof: whereby they show what little piety to God or parent is in their heart. But there is an ever-living, all-seeing, and all-knowing Father that taketh notice of all: who beside other • engeance will cause such measure to be meated out to them, • s they mete to their parents. There is no one thing wherein this proverb, (With what measure you mete it shall be measured • o you again) is more often verified then in children's ingra • itude to their parents. All ages have given many instances thereof. (The very heathen observed it.) Which showeth God's great indignation against it.

§. 49. Of children's imitating their parents good example.

If parents have been persons of good carriage in their life time, as religious towards God, just in their dealings with men, merciful to such as stood in need of their help, doing much good in their place, and so ended their days with much credit; it is an especial means to maintain and continue this their credit, for children to walk in their steps, and to endeavor to be like them.

Thus is a blessed memory of their parents kept fresh and green (as we speak) though their bodies be rotten. For when they who knew the parents behold the like good qualities and actions in their children, they will thereby be put in mind of the parties deceased, and say, Oh how such parents yet live! behold a lively, and living Image of them. Thus did Solomon, Asa, Jehoshaphat, Hezekiah, Josiah and such like good Kings which came of the stock and linage of David, keep the memory of their father David, fresh, fair, and flourishing (long after his body was rotten) as is evident by these and such like phrases, He walked in the ordinances of David his father: he walked in all the ways of David his father: he did that which was right as David his father, &c. There can be no better monument of a parents piety, honesty, and virtue, then a childes lively representation of the same. Wherefore as a motive to stir up children to walk in the good ways of their parents, God hath promised to show mercy to thousands of them that love him and keep his commandments, that is, such as having religious and righteous parents walk in their steps.

Contrary are both those that are unlike good parents, and those that are like evil parents. The former sort do much impeach and dishonor the reputation of their parents, as Rehoboam, who by his foolish rigorous and unjust carriage, made the people speak contemptuously of David.

The latter sort continue in memory the evil name, and the shame of their parents, and cause them to stink more and more: as the sons and successors of Jeroboam, who following his idolatrous course, made it the more remembered, and caused this blur to remain in his style from age to age, Jeroboam which made Israel to sin.

As they stop the current, and hinder the passage of the blessing of righteous parents: so these propagate, and open a way for the curse of unrighteous parents.

§. 50. Of the superstitious duty enjoined by Papists to children after their parents decease.

To the two forenamed duties of burying the corps, and preserving the credit of parents, Papists add a third, and Heathen a fourth, whereof neither are warrantable by God's word, but directly contrary thereto.

That which Papists add is, that children after their parents death ought to procure Diriges, Masses, Pardons, Releases, and such like toys for them, and make continual prayers to free them out of Purgatory, and bring them to rest in heaven: of the vanity of these prayers, and folly of the other toys I have elsewhere spoken.

The Scripture expressly teacheth that after death the soul goeth to the place appointed for it, of endless bliss or woe: so as there is no means of altering the one, or helping forward the other.

§. 51. Of the unlawfulness of children's seeking to revenge their parents wrongs.

That which Heathen add, is, that children after their parents death revenge such wrongs as have been done to them in their life time. And they press this so far upon children, as they affright them with their parents Ghost, saying, that if they neglect to revenge their parents wrongs, their Ghost will follow them, and not suffer them to live in quiet, but molest them continually. This conceit ariseth from the corruption of nature, which is exceeding prone to revenge: but it is expressly forbidden in Scripture, in these and such prohibitions, Resist not evil, Recompence to no man evil for evil. Auenge not our selves &c. Yet some in justification thereof allege Da • ids charge to Solomon of taking vengeance on Joab and She •• ei, after his death.

Answ. The charge which David gave, & Solomon's execution thereof, was no matter of private revenge, but only a lawful execution of justice which children may and ought to do. Just reasons there were to move David to put off the execution of • ustice upon the one & the other so long. Joab was too mighty to have execution done on him in David's time: and Shemeis offense was committed in the time of David's humiliation, which made him swear that he would not himself take Vengeance of him. Besides, Solomon executed justice on the one and the other, not for the wrongs they did to his father, but for other crimes which they committed in his time: only their former offenses were remembered to aggravate the matter.

Thus farrc of children's duties. The manner of performing them followeth to be declared.

§. 52. Of the manner of performing children's duties.

That clause which noted out the limitation of children's duties, affordeth also an excellent direction for the manner of performing them. It is this, in the Lord: that is, Children must so perform their duty to their parents as they would or should perform it to the Lord.

More particularly it implieth these six points:

1. That their duties be performed in conscience, or for conscience sake, which is all one as for the Lord's sake: for the Lord only is Judge of the conscience and hath power over it. Thus must subjects perform duty to magistrates: much more children to parents. The reason which the Apostle rendereth in these words, This is well-pleasing to the Lord, showeth that children in obeying their parents must labor to approve themselves to God.

2. Their duties must be in sincerity, which is when children pretend in show to do no more, then in truth and heart they mean: Whatsoever ye do, do it heartily as to the Lord, saith the Apostle. Parents use to deal with none more heartily then with their children: accordingly must children deal with parents.

3. They must be performed cheerfully, with a willing and ready mind: for the Lord loveth cheerfulness. Herein lieth a main difference betwixt a filial and servile, a child like and slauelike obedience.

4. They must be performed reuerendly as to them which bear the Image of God. Hereof we spake before.

5. They must so be performed, as in performing them no sin be committed against God. Hereof also we spake before.

6. Constancy must be added to all other virtues. For as the Lord himself is constant in all his ways and works, so he expecteth that children should be in the duties which he requireth at their hands. He that beginneth well, and holdeth not on, loseth all the glory of his good beginning.

If the examples of all good children commended in Scripture be well weighed, we shall find their duties, so far forth as they were acceptable to God, performed after the foresaid manner, in all the branches thereof.

§. 53. Of the aberrations of children in the manner of their obedience.

Contrary are these aberrations.

1. When children perform their duties on by-respects: for fear of parents wrath, and the punishment following thereon: for hope and expectation of greater portion and allow • nce: upon instant persuasion of friends, with the like: these respects simply in themselves are not for the Lord.

2. When they perform them only outwardly in show, complementally while parents are in presence, or may know thereof. This is not with respect to God who seareheth the • eart.

3. When they perform them grudgingly, mutteringly, disdainfully: as if their parents authority were an usurped • ower and not given them of God. Is this in the Lord?

4. When they perform them rudely and unmannerly: his showeth they consider not the glory of God's Image shi • ing in their parents.

5. When they care not how they sin against God, so •• ey may please their parents.