Of Domestical Duties

§. 54. Of the equal respect that children are to bear to both parents.

As the distinct duties of children have been set forth, so I think it requisite to declare distinctly who the parties be to whom those duties are to be performed. These principally are the natural parents, both Father and Mother. Secondarily such as are in the place of parents.

The first point then to be noted is, that children bear an equal respect to both their natural parents, and perform duty to both alike. The law expressly mentioneth both, Honor thy Father and thy Mother. Well may we think that there was some just and urgent cause, that the law which so briefly under as few words as well could be, compriseth exceeding much matter, should expressly mention father and mother, when as there is one word, parent, which includeth both. Now what other reason can be rendered then the point in hand?

It is worthy to be noted, how the Apostle contenteth not himself to have named parents, which implieth both, but also annexeth the express words of the law, which in particular setteth down, father and mother. It is expressly set down of Jacob that he obeyed his father and his mother. Among other pen-men of Scripture Solomon expressly mentioneth both father and mother, even almost twenty several times in Prov.

Many reasons there be to enforce this point.

1. Both parents are under God a like means of their children's being. Children come out of the substance of both alike.

2. The care and pains of both for the good of the children is very great: I know not of whether the greater. The mothers pains and care in bringing forth the child is indeed the greater, and it may be also the greater in bringing up the child, especially while it is young, at least if she give it suck her self: yet afterwards the fathers exceedeth in providing fit calling, sufficient means of maintenance, yea and portion or inheritance for it, and that after he himself is dead. Thus one way or other the child is equally bound to both: and accordingly God's law maketh no difference betwixt them.

§. 55. Of pretences alleged to obey father rather then mother.

Contrary on the one side is their childish fondness who so wholly respect their mother, and seek to please her, as they little regard their father, unless through fear they be forced thereto: and on the other side, their scornful spirit who only bear respect to their father, and altogether neglect their mother, if not despise her. For the most part, of the two, the mother is less regarded. The reasons whereof I take to be these following, whereunto I will annex particular means to remove the seeming force of those reasons, as antidotes or remedies unto them.

§. 56. Of the difference of children's subjection to natural parents, and to such as only are in the place of parents.

Beside natural parents, there are others by God so set over children, as they owe in conscience childlike duty unto them. These in general are such as are in the place of parents, and so perform, or at least ought to perform, the duty of parents to children.

They are of two sorts.

1. Such as are joined to a natural parent in marriage, commonly called Step-fathers, and step-mothers, or fathers in law, and mothers in law.

2. Such as have the government and tuition of children committed to them, commonly called Guardians, Tutors, Governors: yea also foster-fathers, and foster-mothers.

§. 57. Of children's subjection to fathers and mothers in law.

Fathers and mothers in law are to be ranked in the first degree of those who are in the place of natural parents. Very good proof there is in Scripture for children's subjection to them. The respect which Moses bear to his father in law, and Ruth to her mother in law, and Christ himself to his supposed father, are commended for this very purpose. Subjection is noted in Christ's example: Reverence in Moses: Recompence in Ruths.

The marriage bond maketh man and wife one flesh: whereupon the natural parent that marrieth another, maketh that other one with him, and in that respect is as a parent to the children, and by them ought to be accounted so.

The law of God maketh it plain in •• st for a son to uncover the shame of his mother in law, or for a father in law to uncover the shame of his daughter in law. Whereby it appeareth that fathers and mothers in law, are by God's law in the very place and steed of natural parents to their children, and accordingly as natural parents are to be honored.

Besides it is a great honor which a child doth to his natural father or mother to respect such as they have made one flesh with themselves, as they do their own parent. So as to honor a father, or mother in law, is to honor a natural parent.

Contrary is the mind and carriage of most children. Very few bear a reverend, dutiful, and childlike respect to stepfathers, and step-mothers: but for the most part despise them in heart, grumble at them in speech, and are very undutiful in their behavior: whence it cometh to pass that they bring much grief to their natural parent, and oft cause much discord and dissention betwixt their natural, and step-parent • being herein set on work by Satan, who laboreth what he can to disunite those whom God hath nearly united together and made one flesh. Lamentable experience showeth that the second, third, or any after-marriages are seldom so comfortable and peaceable as the first: especially if either the one, or other, or both have children. The cause thereof, for the most part, is in children, who brook not fathers or mothers in law.

§. 58. Of children's subjection to Guardians, Tutors, &c.

For children's subjection to Governors, Guardians, and Tutors, the Apostle saith that a child is under them. If by the law children are under them, they ought in equity to be subject to them. It is expressly noted of Esther, even after the King had chosen her for his wife, that she did the commandment of Mordecai (who was as a Guardian to her) like as when she was brought up with him. A memorable pattern for this purpose. What pretences might she have made to have cast off all manner of subjection? Mordecai was but her cosen: she was now advanced above him: a wife she was, and so subject to her husband: yea a Kings wife, and so her self a Queen: yet she was subject, and her subjection commended. We read that the children of the Prophets much respected Elisha, did reverence to him, and were obedient to him, because he was as a father and tutor unto them: in which respect also Elisha was as a child subject to Elijah, whom he called father.

Guardians, Tutors, and such like over-seers of children, have a parents charge laid upon them, as we shall after show: great reason therefore that childlike duty should be yielded to them. Their honor must be answerable to their charge and care.

Contrary is the conceit of many lawless children, whose parents being dead, or they being sent and placed abroad out of the government of their parents, think they are clean free from all government, and may live as they list. Their practice being correspondent to this opinion, they run into all riot, and in time bring themselves to utter ruin. It is the overthrow of many children, that they regard not their Guardians, Tutors, and Governors: and God in judgment bringeth many such refractary children to some fearful & shameful end or other. Let children therefore be wise, and not take too much liberty to themselves.

Thus far have been handled the duties of children in their several kinds, the manner of performing them, and the parties to whom they are to be performed. It remaineth to speak of the reasons which the Apostle alledgeth to enforce those duties.

§. 59. Of the place of parents, whereby children ought to be moved to obey them.

The reasons which the Apostle useth to move children to perform their duty are four:

• The first is taken from the place of the parent.
• The second from the equity of the thing.
• The third from God's express charge.
• The fourth from God's promise.

I. The place of a parent is noted forth by this phrase, IN THE LORD: which as it affordeth a limitation, and giveth a direction to children, so it addeth a spur unto them, to stir them up to perform their duty: for it showeth that parents are to then children in the Lord's steed: as an evidence thereof hath God communicated to them this glorious and honorable title (FATHER) which is proper and peculiar to himself. Now then parents being to their children in God's steed, and by virtue of their place bearing God's image, children in obeying their parents, obey God; in refusing to obey them, refuse to obey God. A strong motive is this first motive. For who is so void of religion, but will think it most meet, that God should be honored? or who so impious, as to refuse to yield duty to God? Here then children may learn in one main point how to honor the Lord, & show themselves children of God. And let them here by know, that disobedient and undutiful children, that resist the authority of parents, resist the ordinance of God, and receive to themselves damnation.

§. 60. Of the equity whereby children should be moved to obey their parents.

II. The second reason in these words, for this is right, though it be not of greater force, yet is it more plainly and expressly noted to be a reason, as the causal particle (for) prefixed before it, showeth. It is a general reason drawn from common equity; a reason which may move all sorts, even Infidels and Pagans: therefore much more Christians.

In saying, It is right, he implieth three things.

1. That it is agreeable to all law. To the law of God, which is the fountain of equity. To the law of Nature, which proceeds from thence. And to the law of Nations, which is answerable in many respects. The forenamed proofs out of God's word, show it to be agreeable to God's law. The precepts which heathen men have given of this point, show it to be agreeable to the law of nature. And the many Constitutions of Law-makers, in all ages, show it to be agreeable to the law of nations.

2. That the place of parents requireth as much. For RIGHT requireth that everyone have his own, that which is his due. It being therefore right, that children obey their parents, that duty • s due to them.

3. That parents deserve as much: for right presupposeth de • ert. That which is done of right, is done by way of recompense. The cause of this desert, is the love which parents bear to children, the pain, pains, care, and cost they have been at, in bringing them forth, and bringing them up.

These things being implied under right, note what followeth • rom the force of this reason,

1. Disobedient and undutiful children, transgress against God's law, against common equity of all nations, and against light • f nature: so as they are unworthy of the name of Christians, • hey are worse then Infidels, yea worse then the brute beasts.

2. They have no respect to the place of their parents, they disgrace the image of God, which their parents by virtue of their place carry, and they disturb that comely order and degree, which God hath set among men.

3. They ill repay their parents care and pains for their good, and show themselves both ungrateful and unnatural: which are two most monstrous and odious sins.

§. 61. Of God's accepting children's obedience.

The forenamed reason is by this same Apostle in another place thus set down, This is well-pleasing to the Lord. By comparing that place with my text, I observe, that

What is right is well-pleasing to the Lord. And again, What is well-pleasing to the Lord is right.

These two propositions, are (as we speak in Schools) convertible and reciprocal; either of them true of the other every way. Wherefore the Apostle, in another place, joineth them both together. For having exhorted children to recompense their parents, he saith, That is good and acceptable before God. Good or honest is in effect the same that right.

This showeth, that dutiful children, as they do that which is good, or honest, and right unto their parents; so also therein they highly please God: so as they may be sure not to lose thereby. At God's hand they shall receive a reward, though their parents should little regard their dutifulness. Thus God dealt with Jacob. His father in law ill repaid his faithfulness: but God looked upon him, and abundantly recompensed all his pains.

This showeth again, that undutiful children, as they do not that which is right, but rather wrong unto their parents; so they highly displease God: they may be sure therefore not to escape unpunished, though their parents, through over-much indulgency, should let them alone: instance the two impious children of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas: and the two rebellious children of David, Absalom, and Adonijah.

This therefore addeth force to the second reason, and moveth children to do right to their parents, by obeying them, as they respect God, his good pleasure, or displeasure: as they look for recompense, or fear vengeance from him.

§. 62. Of God's charge, how inviolable a bond it is to tie children to obey their parents.

III. The third drawn from God's charge is not only in express terms noted, but for more weight the very words of the moral law are quoted (Honor thy father and thy mother:) and it is added, that this is a commandment, yea the first commandment, and that with promise, all which is for amplification of the point.

From the reason that it is God's charge, I gather these three points.

1. That it is no arbitrary matter left to children's discretion whether they will obey their parents or no: but a matter whereunto in conscience they are bound, even as they owe allegiance to God himself the great law-giver: so as in neglecting duty to parents, children sin even against God himself: for the same God who hath commanded us to honor himself, hath commanded us to honor father and mother.

2. That this is a perpetual and a general law: a law whereunto all children of all times, places, sexes, estates and degrees always have been, still are, and ever shall be bound. For the moral law is of that extent: it is general for all persons: perpetual for all times. Therefore no children may think to be exempted from it.

§. 63. Of the title FIRST given to the fifth commandment.

In the amplification of the forenamed reason, the Apostle styleth the commandment of honoring parents the first with promise, as to show that it is the first which hath a particular promise annexed to it; so it is the first that God gave of any duty to be performed unto man. The very order of the decalogue manifesteth the truth hereof. The reason is clear: Honor due to parents is the ground of all the duties required in the second table: for if duty be not performed to such as we are bound unto by some peculiar bond, may we think that it will be performed to such as we are bound unto at large? Now of all to whom we are first and most bound, and to whom we owe our first duty, our parents are the persons. They therefore who are rebellious against their parents, and refuse to do their duty to them, will hardly perform duty to any other. Little hope that a disobedient child will prove a profitable member in Church or common-wealth. Absalom, who was a rebellious child, proved but a traitorous subject: and Hoph •• and Phineas that refused to hearken to the voice of their father, proved but sacrilegious Priests. Wherefore if any precept of the second table be conscionably to be observed (as all are, for the same law-maker gave all, and Christ hath said that the second table is like the first) then is this of honoring father and mother, among the rest, and above the rest to be observed, at least if difference of observing any may be made,

But this particle (first) being set down, not simply but with a connection of promise with it (The first with promise) we are duly to consider the promise thereof: whence a fourth reason ariseth.

§. 64. Of God's promise moving children to obey their parents.

The fourth reason taken from God's promise, is both generally propounded and particularly exemplified. Propounded in this clause (first with promise.) Exemplified in the third verse.

For the General. God's promise made to the performance of any duty, cannot but be a strong motive to stir us up to perform it. Men hereby do stir up, and provoke one another to perform anything. Thus Kings when they would fain have their subjects do this or that, promise such and such rewards unto them: Thus masters incite their servants, parents their children, and one man another. If the promises of men encourage us to perform the things which they give us in charge, how much more ought the promise of God? Men • re deceitful, and may deal doubly, pretending one thing with their mouths, and intending another with their heart, • nd never mean to perform what they promise: But God is faithful and true: his words are as deeds: his promises as performances; so as he never maketh show of more then he means • o perform. Again, man's power is limited; though he truly •• tend what he promiseth, yet in the performance he may fail • ither in that he knew not his own power, but thought when • e made the promise he could have done more then in the e • ent he findeth he can do; or in that he is after wards by some occasion hindered, or disabled. But God's power cannot be so • aitned, or hindered. Besides, men may be taken away before • etime of performing their promise is come: but God ever •• eth, and changeth not. If then man's promises be any moves to anything, much more God's whoever remaineth the • me. Betwixt God and man there is no proportion, no come • rison.

This motive doth exceedingly commend God's fatherly indulgency towards us, and the earnest desire he hath of our good. For he hath such power and authority over all his creatures, that the very knowledge of his will ought to provoke them to perform any duty which he shall command: and if they obey not, he might presently execute vengeance upon them. But considering that we are his children, and need many allurements to draw us on by little and little, he accordingly dealeth with us. He standeth not wholly and only upon his authority, but addeth promises thereto: (for this is a commandment with promise.) If notwithstanding all this, children refuse to obey their parents, may not the Lord justly expostulate the matter with them, as sometimes in another case he did with the Israelites, and say, Judge between me and these children: what could I have done more that I have not done? I gave them an express charge to honor their parents: I laid it down in the first place as a main and principal charge: to encourage them to keep it, I added a promise of good to redound to themselves: what could I do more? Do not they justly deserve vengeance that regard none of these? Thus, in that this is a commandment with promise, we see how children disobedient to their parents are both rebellious against God in regard of the commandment which they transgress, and injurious to themselves in regard of the promise which they make to be void and of no effect. Of this particular promise see more in the first treatise, §. 97, 98, &c.

§. 1. Of the heads of Parents duties.

N Ext to children's, follow Parents duties, which the Apostle layeth down in this fourth verse: where he noteth,

• 1. The duties
• 2. The parties
  • 1. That are to perform the duties, Fathers.
  • 2. To whom they are to be performed, Children.

The prohibition noteth out one extreme, which is overmuch rigor, (Prouoke not to wrath)

The inference of the precept upon the prohibition noteth out another extreme, which is over-much-remissness.

The precept it self enjoineth to parents three duties.

• 1. To nourish children, namely with food, apparel, and other like necessaries (Nourish them.)
• 2. To nurture them, namely with good discipline (In nurture.)

3. To instruct them, namely in the ways of God (And admonition of the Lord.)

To these heads may all the several points which I shall deliver concerning parents duties, be referred.

That Parents may the better discern how one duty followeth another, I will proceed in this order.

The streams shall be divided into two rivers.

In the first are those general duties that are continually to be done.

In the second, such particular duties as are to be applied to the several ages of children.

There are two principal general duties.

• 1. Faithful prayer to God.
• 2. Vpright walking with God.

All the particulars may be comprised under this one head, A provident care. And this hath respect,

• 1. To the Infancy of children,
• 2. To their Youth,
• 3. To the time of their placing forth,
• 4. To the time of parents departing out of this world.

§. 2. Of that Love which parents owe to their children.

The Fountain of parents duties is Love. This is expressly enjoined to them. Many approved examples are recorded hereof: as Abraham's, Isaac's, Rebekah's, and others.

Great reason there is why this affection should be fast fixed in the heart of parents towards their children. For great is that pain, pains, cost, and care, which parents must undergo for their children. But if love be in them, no pain, pains, cost, or care, will seem too much. Herein appeareth the wise providence of God, who by nature hath so fast fixed love in the hearts of parents, as if there be any in whom it aboundeth not, he is counted unnatural. If love did not abound in parents, many children would be neglected and lost. For if parents look not to their children, who will? If none look to them, they must needs perish: for they are not able to help themselves. As God by nature hath planted love in all parents, so Christians ought even for conscience sake, to nourish, increase, and blow up this fire of love, that they may thereby be made more forward to do every duty with cheerfulness. The more fervent love is, the more readily will every duty be performed.

§. 3. Of the contraries to love.

The extreme contrary to love in the defect is want of natural affection, which is reckoned in the catalogue of notorious •• nnes. Though love of children be by nature engraven in man's heart, yet many clean put it out through covetousness, •• st, vain-glory, superstition, idolatry, and other vices: whereby it cometh to pass that instead of the good which they • old do for their children, they bring much mischief upon • hem. Some spare not the precious life of their children. Among these, barbarous idolaters do most exceed in this kind of unnatural cruelty, sacrificing their children, and offering them up to devils. To this the great blood-sucker Satan of old brought not only the heathen, who being ignorant of God did service to the devil, but also the Israelites to whom Jehovah the true God made himself known, and expressly forbid this cruelty, and that under pain of death. Behold how superstition and idolatry blind the eyes of men. They who have been among the Sauadges in Virginea, Florida, India, and other like places testify that such cruelty is used to this day. And it is rendered as a main reason why, notwithstanding such spacious places as they have, they increase no more in multitude, because many of their children from time to time are offered up in sacrifice.

Reasonable men herein show themselves more unreasonable then unreasonable beasts, which do what possibly they can to preserve their young ones.

Though not so high, yet too high on this ladder of unnaturalness do they climb, who hate their children, and that (which maketh the sin to be out of measure sinful) for piety and integrity; as many Popish and profane parents, who have children truly religious: and in that respect ought so much the more to be loved.

The extreme in the excess is too much doting upon children: as they do who so unmeasurably love them, as they make reckoning of nothing in comparison of children. Even God himself is lightly esteemed, his worship neglected, his word transgressed, all duty to others omitted, their own souls forgotten thorough care of children. Is not this me •• apish kindness? for Apes kill their young ones with hugging. This is no love, but plain dotage. But what may be said of those that are so hellishly enamored with their children as to commit incest or buggery with them?

§. 4. Of Parents praying for their children.

The first and best stream which issueth out of the forenamed fountain of love is faithful and fervent prayer. This extendeth it self to all things, at all times, throughout the whole course of the childes life. It is the first and it is the last duty which parents ought to perform to their children: even that which they must do without intermission; Pray without ceasing.

Though prayer be a general duty which all Christians owe one to another, yet after a peculiar manner doth it appertain to parents: and of all others they are most bound to it. For the promise which God maketh to a parent is extended to his seed and children, as these and such like Scriptures show, I will be thy God, and the God of thy seed: That it may be well with them and with their children: The promise is unto you, and unto your children. Parents therefore with most assurance of faith may call upon God for their children. For God's promise is the ground of faith: so far as God's promise is extended, so far our faith may and ought to extend it self. Hence hath arisen the commendable custom of children's asking their parents blessing: which intimateth a desire that parents would pray for God's blessing on them.

This duty of prayer must be performed before parents have children (that they may have some, as Isaac, Anna and others did ) and so soon as children are conceived, especially if they observe them to be quick in the womb (as Rebekah did) and again when they are borne (as Zachariah did) and throughout the whole course of their life (as Job did) and when they are going out of this world, and leaving their children (as Isaac did.)

There is no one thing wherein and whereby parents may do more good for their children, then in and by true prayer. God hath sanctified prayer as a means to receive all needful blessing from himself the fountain of all blessing. If therefore God's blessing be of use to children (what Atheists are they that believe it not?) then also is prayer by which it is obtained.

§. 5. Of vices contrary to parents praying for their children.

The very neglect of this duty is a sin contrary to the duty it self: and many parents there be that stand guilty of this sin. Some think it needless to pray for a child before it be borne, not considering that in sin it is conceived. When it is borne they refer this duty to the midwife, whereas it properly appertaineth to the father. After it is grown to any ripeness, they put it off to the child to pray for it self. And when they are on their death-bed, they think it enough if they can pray for their own souls. Such parents show little true love to their children: but less faith in God.

But what may we say or think of such impious parents as fear not to make fearful imprecations against their children? God oft in wrath and vengeance heareth such imprecations to the woe of parent and child: whereby he showeth his great indignation against them for the same.

§. 6. Of parents endeavoring to be righteous that they may leave God's blessing to their children.

Another general branch proceeding from parents love to their children, is, that for their children's sake they endeavor to walk uprightly before God, and to please him. This I do the rather note, because I find the reward promised to righteous parents to be extended unto their children The generation of the righteous shall be blessed, saith David. And Solomon, Blessed shall his children be after him: and again, The good man shall give inheritance unto his children's children. This motive is therefore urged by the holy Ghost to provoke parents unto all righteousness.

Thus doth the Lord extend the reward of righteous parents unto their children to show his great good liking, and high approbation of righteousness. Read for this purpose, 1 King. 11. 34. & 2 King. 10. 30.

§. 7. Of the preposterous course which covetous and unjust parents take for the good of their children.

Contrary is the course of such parents as by unrighteous means think to provide well for their children. For many do not only too carkingly, and distrustfully moile and toile to scrape together great masses of money, or great store of land, or other stocks for their children, neglecting duties of piety and mercy, but also by unjust and wrongful courses defraud others to make their children rich. So common is this undue course of providing for children, as thence hath arisen this proverb, Happy are those children whose parents go to the devil. A cursed proverb. For what other thing can it intend, but this, that they who fear not God, nor take care for their own saulation, will have most respect to the outward estate of their children, and be most careful to make them great, and rich in this world? Wherein note how many ways they bewray their notorious folly.

1. They prefer the outward estate of their children before the eternal salvation of their own souls. Yea and before God himself.

2. They place the happiness of their children in the goods of this world; then which nothing more vain.

3. They make themselves drudges to their children, and so debase themselves below that dignity which by reason of God's image on them, appertaineth to them.

4. They with much pains, care, grief, and fear are long gathering that which their children in short time most riotously and prodigally will lavish out.

5. They make themselves vassals to Satan and seek by him to be made rich: whereas indeed it is the blessing of God that maketh rich. Thus they take a wrong course to get wealth. If it be said that many are thus made rich, I answer, that as God gave a King to Israel, so he giveth wealth to them, in wrath: and in wrath will he take it away.

6. They bring God's curse into their house, and leave it unto their children: So as these are the riches that are reserved to the owners thereof for their evil. Let not therefore care for children draw thee to any coueteous or unjust courses: but know that he who made thy son made thee also, and he who afforded thee means of nourishment, will also afford thy children sufficient succor.

§. 8. Of Parents providence for their children.

The head, whereunto all the particular duties, which parents owe to their children, may be referred, is A provident care for their children's good. This extendeth it self to all times, and to all things.

To all times, as to the infancy, youth, and man-age of their children: and that not only while parents live, but after their departure.

To all things, namely, tending both to the temporal good of their children, and also to their spiritual good.

Children are of the very substance of their parents, & therefore ought parents so far to seek their children's good as their own.

The patterns of holy parents recorded and commended in Scripture, do lively set forth this provident care.

But this general we will exemplify in the particulars: and in order declare how parents must provide both for the temporal, and also for the spiritual good of their children in every degree of their age.

They who at any time in anything are negligent and careless of their children's good, offend in the contrary to this general duty. The heinousness of which offenses will appear in the particulars.

§. 9. Of a mothers care over her child while it is in her womb.

The first age of a child is the infancy thereof. I will therefore first show how therein parents must procure the temporal good of their children, and then their spiritual good.

The first part of a child's infancy is while it remaineth in the mothers womb. Here therefore the duty lieth principally upon the mother: who so soon as she perceiveth a child to be conceived in her womb, ought to have an especial care thereof, that (so much as in her lieth) the child may be safely brought forth. ( The heathen Philosophen, by light of nature, observed this to be a duty; and prescribed it to mothers.) A mother then must have a tender care over her self when she is with child: for the child being lodged in her, and receiving nourishment from her (as plants from the earth) her well-being tendeth much to the good and safety of the child: but the hurt that cometh to her, maketh the child the worse, if it be not a means to destroy it. Why was the charge of abstaining from wine, strong drink, and unclean things, given to Manoah's wife, but because of the child which she conceived?

In this case there is a double bond to make mothers careful of themselves.

• 1.
  Their own,
• 2.
  Their child's good.

Husbands also in this case must be very tender over their wives, and helpful to them in all things needful, both in regard of that duty which they owe to their wives, and also of that they owe to their children. Why was Manoah so desirous to hear himself the forenamed direction which the Angel gave to his wife? and why did the Angel again repeat it to him, but to show it belonged to him to see her observe it?

They who through violence of passion, whether of grief, or anger, or through violent motion of the body, as by dancing, striving, running, galloping on horseback, or the like: or through distemper of the body, by eating things hurtful, by eating too much, by too much abstinence, by too much bashfulness in concealing their desires and longings (as we speak) cause any abortion or miscarriage, fall into the offense contrary to the forenamed duty. If women were persuaded that in conscience they are bound to the forenamed duty, they would, I think, be more careful of themselves. For if through their default, they themselves or their child miscarry, they make themselves guilty of that miscarriage: if both miscarry, they make themselves guilty of the blood of both; at least in the court of conscience before God.

But they who purposely take things to make away their children in their womb, are in far higher degree guilty of blood: yea even of willful murder. For that which hath received a soul formed in it by God, if it be unjustly cast away, shall be revenged.

So far forth as husbands are careless of their wives being with child, denying them things needful, they are accessory to the hurt, which the woman, or child taketh, guilty of the sin, and liable to the judgment.

§. 10. Of providing things needful for the child, so soon as it is borne: and of cruelty contrary thereunto.

The next degree of a child's infancy, is while it is in the swaddling bands, and remaineth a sucking child. In this also the care especially lieth upon the mother: yet so as the father must afford what help he can.

The first duty here required is, that sufficient provision of all things needful for a child in that weakness be before hand provided. What the particulars be, women better know, then I can express. For me, it is sufficient, to lay down the duty in general: which is commended unto us in that worthy pattern of the Virgin Marie, who though she were very poor, and forced to travel far, and brought to bed in a strange place, where she was so little respected, as she was not afforded a place meet for a woman in her case, but was fain to content her self with a stable in a common Inn, yet she provided for her child. For it is said, She wrapped him in swaddling clothes, Luk 2. 7.

Contrary is the practice of such lewd and unnatural women, as leave their new-borne children under stalls, at men's doors, in Church porches, yea many times in open field. It is noted as a point of unnaturalness in the Ostrich, to leave her eggs in the earth, and in the dust: in which respect she is said to be hardened against her young ones, as though they were not hers, Job 39. 14, 16. Much more hardened are the foresaid lewd women. The Eagle is counted an unnatural bird, because she thrusteth her young ones, which she hath brought forth, out of her nest. Are not then such mothers much more unnatural? They oft lay their children forth in public places, for others to show that mercy, which they themselves have not. The Civil Law judgeth this to be a kind of further.

§. 11. Of giving suck to children.

Among other needful things, the milk of the breast is fit for • oung babes, and with it they are to be nourished. I think none • oubt of the equity of this. It hath in all ages, and in all coun • ies, been accounted the bestfood that can be for young babes. The metaphor, which S. Peter useth, taken from young infants in these words, As new-borne babes desire the sincere milk of the • ord) confirmeth as much. So doth also the desire which such • nfants have to the milk of the breasts: and the ability, and • omptnesse which is in them to suck: and God's providence in • using a woman's breasts to yield forth such milk: and the constant manner of nourishing little infants after this manner, commended in the Scriptures: and (to conclude) the natural instinct which many unreasonable creatures have thus to nourish their young ones.

They who on mere curiosity (where no urgent necessity requireth) try whether their children may not as birds be nourished without suck, offend contrary to this duty; and reject that means which God hath ordained as the best: and so oppose their shallow wit to his unsearchable wisdom.

§. 12. Of mothers giving suck to their own children.

Of nourishing children with breast-milk, there is no great question: therefore I have with a touch passed it over. The chiefest question of doubt is concerning the party who is bound to this duty; namely, whether the mother be bound to do it her self or no.

Many strong arguments there be to press it upon the consciences of mothers, and to show that (so far as they are able) they are bound to give suck to their own children. Some are taken from the light of God's word; and some from the light of nature.

God's word doth in many places by just consequence imply, that it is a bounden duty: in other places it doth expressly commend it by the practice of holy women: and again in other places it taketh it for a granted truth, and ruled case, not to be denied.

1. The consequences whereby the word implieth this duty are these:

1. In the blessing given to Joseph thus speaketh old Jacob, God shall bless thee with the blessing of the breasts, and of the womb. By the blessing of the womb, what can be meant, but children? By the blessing of the breasts, what, but milk, whereby those children are nourished? As if he had said; I will bless thee with such women, as shall both bear thee children, and also give suck to them which they bear. The consequence then is this: As it is a blessing to have children of a true lawful wife; so to have those children nursed of the same wife their mother.

§. 13. Of the objections for putting children forth to nurse.

§. 14. Of the fathers duty in encouraging his wife to nurse her child.

The duty which on a fathers part in this respect is required, is that he encourage his wife, and help her with all needful things for the performance of this duty. It is noted of Elka • ah, that he suffered his wife to tarry at home while she gave suck to her son, and would not force her to go up to the tabernacle as his other wife did, but gave her all the ease and content he could, saying to her, Do what seemeth thee good. And of Abraham it is noted, that after Sarah had done giving the child suck, he made a great feast, even the day that Isaac was weined: one end whereof was to testify his rejoicing for God's blessing on her motherly duty so well performed.

§. 15. Of the faults contrary to a mothers nursing her child.

Contrary to this duty do all such mothers offend, as for any by-respects when no necessity requireth put forth their children to be nursed by others.

• 1. Some do it for ease and quiet, because they cannot endure to have their sleep broken, or to hear their child wrangle and cry.
• 2. Others do it for niceness, because they are loath to open their breasts, or to soil their clothes.
• 3. Others upon pride, conceiting that their beauty would be impaired, and they look old too soon.
• 4. Others upon gain, because they can have a child cheaper nursed abroad then at home, where, at least, they must hire a maid the more.
• 5. Others upon pleasure, that they might more freely ride abroad, and meet their Gossips.
• 6. Others upon other by-respects: all which do argue much self-love: little love to their child, and little respect to God. They can be counted but half-mothers: for nursing a child is as much as bearing and bringing it forth.

§. 16. Of a fathers fault in hindering his wives nursing of her child.

To the forenamed fault of mothers do all such fathers make themselves accessory, as forbid their wives to nurse their children, or are a grief to them by their complaints of trouble, disquiet and expense: or afford not things needful, or do not encourage them all they can to do it. The mothers both pain and pains is the greatest: it is in comparison but a small thing that fathers can endure therein. Their fault therefore must needs be the greater, if any way they be an occasion of their childes putting forth to nurse: which I have the rather noted, because husbands for the most part are the cause that their wives nurse not their own children: and that partly by suffering, and partly by egging them on to put out their children. If husbands were willing that their wives should perform this duty, and would persuade and encourage them thereto, and afford them what helps they could, where one mother now nurseth her child, twenty would do it.

§. 17. Of parents joint care about their children's Baptism.

There is a further duty to be performed of parents to their children even in their infancy, and that is in regard of their spiritual good, which is this,

Parents ought to procure that their children be rightly baptized in due season.

This is indeed a common duty appertaining to both parents, but most principally to the father, and that for two reasons.

1. The father is the chief and principal Governor, and hath the greatest charge: accordingly he ought to have the greatest care even in such matters as are common to both.

2. The mother at that time by reason of her travel and delivery is weak, and not in case to have her head much troubled with many cares; much less able her self to take order for such weighty matters. Only the husband is to make known to his wife (if she be not extraordinarily weak) what his purpose is concerning the place, time, manner, and other like circumstances of baptizing the child, and to advise with her about the name, witnesses, and such like points. And if the husband be too backward and negligent, the wife ought so far as she is able to put him in mind of his duty therein, and to stir him up by her self or some other to perform it.

§. 18. Of the reasons to move parents to see their children baptized.

That parents are bound to procure Baptism for their children these reasons declare.

1. The commandment of God concerning circumcising • hildren: in the room whereof Baptism succeedeth now • nder the Gospel (Col. 2. 11, 12.) God's commandment to • his duty was first given to Abraham: and that for himself • nd all his posterity to observe (Gen. 17. 10.) After this it was • n the law laid down as a positive statute, Leu. 12. 3.

2. The practice of the Jews in a faithful and constant ob •• ruance of this ordinance: as of Abraham; of Zacharias and • lizabeth: of Joseph and Mary, and many others.

§. 19. Of Parents procuring their children to be rightly baptized.

There being such forceable motives to stir up parents to perform the duty, (which motives show it to be a weighty duty) I will further show how this duty ought to be performed.

Two things in children's baptism ought to be observed.

• 1. That it be rightly done.
• 2. That it be seasonably done.

In the right performance thereof, some things are necessary, and some expedient.

Things of necessity are these especially:

1. That the child be baptized by a Minister of the word.

2. That it be baptized with the element of water: the only element sanctified to this purpose.

3. That the form prescribed by Christ (Matth. 28. 19.) be used, In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: whereby the unity of the Godhead, and trinity of Persons is plainly set forth.

4. That the proper rite be used of applying the water to the body of the child, so as at least the face of the child may be sprinkled therewith.

Things of expediency are,

1. That the child be baptized in a public place, where God's people ordinarily meet together, being set apart for the worship and service of God.

2. That such a time be chosen out, as an assembly of Saints may be there present.

These two circumstances are the rather to be observed, because Baptism is one of the solemn parts of God's public worship; a pledge of our incorporation into the body of Christ, and communion of his Saints, and therefore with the more solemnity, (as a matter of great moment) before many witnesses, with the assistance of the faithful prayers of an assembly of Saints, to be performed.

§. 20. Of Parents care to give a fit name to their child at his Baptism.

A third matter of great expediency about a child's baptism, is, that Parents be careful in giving a fit name.

It belongeth to Parents to give the name to their child: for so holy parents (whose pattern in Scripture is in this respect commended unto us) have done from time to time: and for their warrant to do it, it is worthy to be noted, that when God was pleased to appoint a name to a child, he gave in charge to the Parent so to name him, saying to him, Thou shalt call his name thus and thus.

It is also evident, that the time of Baptism is the fittest time for giving the name. Under the Law, children's names were given at their Circumcision: and so under the Gospel it hath in all ages been used: and that for these reasons.

• 1. That their names may be a testimony of their baptism.
• 2. That so oft as they hear their names, they may be put in mind of their baptism.
• 3. That they might know how by name they are given to Christ to be his soldiers, and therefore there must be no starting from him.
• 4. That they may also be assured, that being baptized with water and the spirit, by name they are registered in heaven.

Now because names are so solemnly given, and of so good use, most meet it is that fit names should be given to children. And for proof hereof, let the names which in Scripture are recorded to be given by God himself, and by such holy men and women as were guided by his spirit, be observed; and we shall find them to be holy, sober, and fit names.

For direction to parents in this duty, I will set down some sorts and kinds of names as be fit, and beseeming Christians.

1. Names which have some good signification: and among them such as are warranted by the Scripture, as John (the grace of God) Jonathan (the gift of God) Andrew (manly) Clement (meek) Simeon (obedient) Hannah (gracious) Prudens (wise) and such like: that thus their name may stir them up to labor after the virtue signified thereby.

2. Names which have in times before us been given to persons of good note, whose life is worthy our imitation, as Isaac, David, Peter, Marie, Elizabeth, and such like: that the names may move them to imitate those worthies.

3. Names of our own ancestors and predecessors, to preserve a memory of the family: which appeareth to have been an ancient practice even among God's people, in that the friends would have had Zachariahs son named Zachariah; and when the mother had just cause to name him John, they answer, none of thy kindred is called by this name.

4. Vsuall names of the country, which custom hath made familiar, as Henry, Edward, Robert, William, and such like among us.

§. 21. Of Parents care in bringing their children to be baptized in due season.

Though Christians are not so strictly tied to a set day, as the Jews were to the eight day; yet from that strict direction given to the Jews, we may well gather, that it is not meet for Christians to defer the baptizing of their children beyond eight days: for a young child of that age may with more ease, and less danger, be baptized, then circumcised.

The most seasonable time I take to be the day whereon God's people use in the place where the child is borne, publicly to assemble together to worship God next after the birth of the child, if at least it fall not out within two or three days after, which is somewhat with the soonest both for mother and child.

Whether we respect the honor of God (the riches of whose mercy is lively set forth in the sacrament of baptism) or the good of our child (which in that sacrament receiveth a pledge and seal of that rich mercy of God) Baptism is of great consequence: and therefore the first season of performing it to be taken. For parents by their diligence and due speed therein, give evidence both of their zeal to God's glory, and also of their earnest desire of the child's spiritual good.

§. 22. Of Parents faults in neglecting their children's Baptism.

Contrary to the forenamed duty of Parents about well baptizing their children, are many aberrations, as

1. The corrupt opinion of Anabaptists, who deny the lawfulness of baptizing children. The arguments before noted are sufficient to stop their mouths.

2. The practice of Separatists (coming too near to Anabaptism) who excepting against the ministry and orders of our Church, do what they can to keep their children from that Sacrament. And to that end carry their wives ready to be delivered unto a strange place, where they are not known, and anon after they are delivered, privily convey wife, child, and all away, that so the Magistrate may not, against their will, cause their child to be baptized: and having no ministry of their own, nor means to convey the child over sea, keep it many years unbaptized. Where is the evidence of their faith in God's promise, of their respect to God's ordinance, and of their desire of their child's spiritual good? Though it be a great wrong to children to be kept from baptism, yet the sin lieth on such parents as procure not baptism for their children: especially at that age when their children cannot gainsay it.

3. The perverse opinion and practice of certain ancient heretics, who instead of baptizing children with water, had them branded with an hot iron. They grounded their error on a false interpretation of this phrase (he shall baptize with the Holy Ghost and with fire.)

Answ. 1. They err in taking this word (fire) literally and properly, which was meant mystically and metaphorically.

2. They err in applying that to the outward action of a Minister, which was meant of the inward operation of Christ. By this their misinterpretation they thwart the main scope of him who first used that phrase, which was to manifest the difference betwixt all other Ministers and Christ Jesus.

4. The opinion and practice of those, who use other forms of Baptism, besides this, (In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.) Their opinion and practice is grounded on certain concise phrases used by the Apostles: such as these, Baptized in the name of Jesus Christ: In the name of the Lord: In the name of the Lord Jesus, &c.

Answ. Those phrases rather set forth the very substance and inward matter of Baptism, then the form thereof.

5. Their opinion and practice, who care not by whom their children are baptized, whether heretics, idolaters, laicks, or women: Little do they regard the comfort of conscience, and strength of faith, that ariseth from this; that a lawful Minister in God's room and name, as God's ambassador, putteth the seal of God to his covenant.

6. The practice of those as (I know not upon what niceness or state) must have their children baptized at home in their private house. This manner of baptising taketh away much from the honor of that high ordinance, which ought to be done with all the seemly solemnity that may be.

7. Their practice who bring their child to Church to be baptized, accompanied only with the Midwife, and three witnesses. It were almost as good be baptized in a private house: for it is not the walls of the Church, but the assembly of Saints, that addeth to the honor of the Sacrament, and is most of all to be respected.

8. Their practice who upon state, or for great witnesses, or such by-respects put off the baptising of their children longer then is meet, some, two or three weeks, some, two or three months, some longer: whereby they show too light esteem of this Sacrament, in that they prefer mere complemental circumstances before a matter of so great moment. God oft showeth his just indignation against such, in taking away their • hildren unbaptized before the time set down by them for baptism be come.

9. Their practice who care not what heathenish, idolatrous, • idiculous names they give to their children. What respect • oe they show either to God in whose name their child is • aptised, or to the holy Sacrament it self, or to the congrega • ion of Saints before whom the name is given, or to the child •• self who all his life is to carry that name?

§. 23. Of parents providing things needful for the life and health of their children.

Hitherto of the duties of parents respecting their children's Infancie. Such as respect their childhood follow.

The childhood of a child is • eckoned from the time that it • eginneth to be of any discretion and understanding till it be • t to be placed forth: even so Many distinguish the whole course of a man's life into four parts.

• 1. Childhood
• 2. Youth.
• 3. Man-age
• 4. Old-age.

The duties which parents for this time must perform to their children may be drawn to these two heads.

• 1. Care to bring them up.
• 2. Care to place them forth.

For their well training up, respect must be had both to their temporal and also to their spiritual good.

Two things are required of parents, in regard of the temporal good of their children.

• 1. To nourish them well.
• 2. To nurture them well.

Child-hood from his birth to 14. years.

Youth from 14 to 25.

Man-age from 25. to 50.

Old age from thence to his death.

But for better distinguishing the duties which parents are to perform, I follow not so accurate a division, but rather distinguish the degrees of age according to the times wherein new duties are to be performed: and therefore I make a distinction betwixt infancy and childhood.

Feed them in discipline, saith the Apostle.

Under nourishment are comprised all needful things for health and life: which parents ought to provide for their children, as

1. Food, which Christ taketh for a ruled case. Whence he draweth his argument to show that God will provide for his children. What father (saith he) if his son ask him bread would give him a stone, &c. Mat. 7. 9, 10, 11.

2. Apparel, for it is expressly noted, that Israel made his son a coat, (Gen. 37. 3.)

3. Recreation, which in young children especially is needful for their health. In that Zacharias chap. 8. verse. 5. told the Jews, and that in way of blessing, that boys and girls should be playing in the streets, he implieth that it is a lawful and meet thing, which parents should permit unto their children. But yet the time, and measure, and kind of recreation must be well ordered.

4. Means for recovery of health when they are sick: for this end was it, that Jeroboam sent his wife to the Prophet, in behalf of his son who was sick: that the Ruler came to Christ for his son also who was at point of death; and that many others came to him for their sons and daughters being ill.

Whatsoever other things are needful, parents to their power must provide for their children: else the Apostle counteth them worse then Infidels.

Both equity and necessity require thus much of parents.

Equity, in that children owe all their pains and service to their parents while they are under them, and are wholly at their command, and in that regard have no means to provide needful things but by their parents help. Parents therefore in all right must herein be helpful to them.

Necessity, in that, if the life and health of children be not well provided for, no duty, no service can be expected at their hands.

§. 24. Of parents too much niggardliness, and carelessness toward their children.

There are two extremes contrary to the forenamed provident care of parents for their children's good:

In the defect, Covetousness.

In the excess, Lauishnesse.

Some parents so far fail in the defect, as they almost starve their children through want of necessaries: not affording them sufficient wholesome food, nor meet and comely appa • ell, but suffer them to go tagged and ragged like beggars • rats: if they be sick, God may recover them if he please, but the parents will use no means when they are well, they afford them no time of refreshing themselves by any recreation, but • uer-strictly hold them in. There is not only want of charity, • ut plain unnaturalness in such parents: even more then in •• e most cruel beasts. For the wild beasts do with much ten • ernesse provide for their young ones.

§. 25. Of parents too much lauishnesse and indulgency upon their children.

Others surpass as much in the excess, feeding them too •• intily: attiring them too garishly: tending them too cockeringly: and letting them spend too much time in sport and play. Many and great are the mischiefs that follow thereupon: as

1. They who are in their childhood daintily fed, and too much pampered, besides that for the most part they are most sickly, they will in time grow so squeamish, and choice of meats, as their parents shall not know what to provide for them, or when to give it them: The full soul loatheth an honey comb: yea if a stranger cometh to the table, where such a child sitteth, he may soon observe that he hath been too daintily fed. If at first children be fed with ordinary moderate diet, they will afterwards both be in better health and liking, and also more contentedly, and thankfully accept whatsoever shall be provided for them. But excess breedeth diseases both in body and mind.

2. Vanity in apparel doth also much corrupt young children: for there is in them even from the cradle a natural disposition to outward bravery: now for parents to pranke them up, what is it but to blow up the fire of that vanity, and make it arise into such a flame as in time may much scorch the parents themselves, and utterly consume the children: and yet how usual a fault is this? how monstrously do many parents offend therein? what foolish fashion is used of the greatest swaggerers, and lightest strumpets, which they will not bring their children unto, and that when their children are not able to discern betwixt stuffs or colors? what can this proclaim but parents pride and folly? Proud maids are many times the instruments of pranking up children (especially when they are little ones) more then is meet: but yet the blame lieth on parents for suffering it.

3. Tending children too cockishly maketh them too long children, and too tender: and oft altereth a good constitution of body. Some are so over-much tender of their children, as if a child never so little complain, or refuse the meat (though for daintiness or fullness) the Physician must presently be sent for, and the Apothecary sent unto, and the child with supposed and apish kindness made much worse.

4. Too much sport maketh them wild, rude, unfit to be trained up to any good calling, and spendeth their spirits, and wasteth their strength too much. Yet many parents care not how much time their children spend in sport, and how little in learning: they think it duls their children too much to be held to school, or to any learning: whereas indeed too much play infatuates them more, and learning would much sharpen their wits.

§. 26. Of well nurturing children.

I refer good nurture in part to the temporal good of children, because (as afterwards we shall hear in the particulars) it is an especial means of the outward temporal welfare of the child even in this world. Unless this be added to nourishing, wherein do reasonable men and women exceed unreasonable beasts? the most cruel beasts that be are very tender (as we heard before) towards their young ones, nourishing them, and providing all things needful for them till they can shift for themselves. But as God hath given to man a reasonable soul, an understanding head, capacity, docility and aptness to learn, so ought parents to make use of those parts and gifts, lest for want of using them, in time they be lost: and so children prove little better then bruits. In this respect the proverb is true, better be vnfed then untaught. Experience showeth that good education is better then a great portion. The Holy Ghost doth very much press this point on parents, as we shall after hear in the particulars. For I will handle these three points.

• 1. The kinds of nurture.
• 2. The time when it is to be done.
• 3. The means of well doing it.

§. 27. Of parents neglect in nurturing children.

Contrary to good nurture is too much liberty: which oft bringeth much woe, and utter ruin upon children: it is the greatest enemy that can be of good education, and the nurse of all vice Yet many parents care not to let their children live as they list: all the care they take, is that they be fed and appareled. This is a common fault both of rich, and of poor parents. The rich pretend that their children need no education, because they have enough to leave them: not knowing that education is an especial means to make them keep and well use that enough. The poor pretend that they are not able to bring up their children to anything: not considering that the Lord by his providence hath so ordered the affairs of men, that as there are fit employments for the greatest, so also for the meanest, which without much cost may be used. The fault therefore wholly resteth in the negligence of parents. And if thereupon children fall into any riot, their parents shall answer for it.

§. 28. Of parents teaching their children good manners.

The nurturing of children before mentioned consisteth

• 1. In teaching them good manners.
• 2. In training them up to a good calling.

Not only heathen men, and other moralists which were but mere natural civil men, but also the Holy Ghost himself hath prescribed many rules of good manners, and much urged and pressed the same.

1. The word nurture mentioned by the Apostle in this text which we have in hand, implieth as much: and the phrase which Solomon useth, Traine up a child in the way he should go: that is, teach him how to order the course of his life.

2. The many precepts of reverencing our superiors, and carrying our selves with respect one to another, are rules of good manners. Hereof there be very many in scripture.

3. Those rules are commended by many examples of holy men recorded in Scripture.

4. Such as have failed in the rules of good manners, and rudely carried themselves, are reproved by the Holy Ghost.

Neither is it without good reason that this point is so set forth. For

1. Good manners are a very comely and seemly thing. But it beseemeth Christians to do all things decently. That decency is not only to be applied to the affairs of God's Church, but also to the whole course of our life, in which respect we are commanded to walk decently, that is, to order all our actions and the whole course of our life mannerly.

2. They are a thing of good report, and that both to parents and children: Now we must do all things that are of good report.

3. They work a kind of delight, and love, and admiration, in those that behold them, as is noted of the Queen of Sheba when she beheld the comely carriage of Solomon's servants: and of the Egyptians when they beheld the orderly sitting of Joseph's brethren.

4. They are an outward ornament to piety and religion, and make it to be much more respected: in which respect S. Peter exhorteth believing wives well to order their conversation before infidel husbands: and S. Paul exhorteth all sorts of Christians to walk decently toward them that are without.

The Holy Ghost having thus urged the point of good manners, we may not think it a mere complemental matter, and a needless point, but a bounden duty.

§. 29. Of the objections against good manners.

§. 30. Of parents suffering their children to be rudely brought up.

Contrary to parents care in teaching their children good manners, is dissoluteness: when parents suffer their children to grow up in rudeness, not caring how they carry themselves at home or abroad, toward their parents, or toward others. Rude bringing up maketh children to be of a crooked, perverse, stubborn, churlish, furly, doggish disposition; as on the other side, good nurture in this kind breedeth in genuity, amiableness, courtesy, and kindness. If such as are rudely brought up be children of professors of the true religion, they bring a stain upon their profession: yea they dishonor God, as if he were the author of vnmannerlinesse and confusion, against which the Holy Ghost protesteth: and they make themselves and their children a scorn in the eye and mouth of profane persons, who will be ready to point and say, Behold the children of professors, how rudely they are brought up, and ill taught: they have not so much as good manners in them.

For avoiding this blemish, School-masters and all such as have the charge of training up young children, must bean help to parents in teaching children good manners.

§. 31. Of parents training up their children to some good calling.

The second branch of good nurture is a training up of children unto a good calling. This charge (train up a child in the way that he should go • ) directly condeth to this purpose. This duty hath from the beginning of the world been performed by parents, and their performance thereof commended by the holy Ghost. Adam brought up his sons to several callings: one was a keeper of sheep, another a tiller of ground. The like is noted of Iaakobs sons, Laban's, and Reguels daughters, Ishas son, and many others.

Much good may from hence arise to parents themselves, to their children, and to the people and places where such children shall live.

1. A good calling is an especial means for children to maintain themselves and family, to relieve those that stand in need, to ease their parents, and (if the need of parents require it) to relieve and maintain them.

2. It is that way wherein God's Angels have a charge to keep them while they walk in it.

3. It is a means wherein and whereby they may be serviceable to the common wealth where they live.

4. It is the best place wherein the general duties of Christianity may be most manifested, and best performed.

5. It is the best ordinary means that can be prescribed to keep a child from the vanities of youth, from immoderate pursuit of pleasures, from unlawful games, from idleness, from ill company, and such like evils; which, as they are sins in themselves, so occasions and provocations to other most • grievous and enormous sins, and prove to be the very • bane of youth.

§. 32. Of parents care in choosing a fit calling for their children.

The point in general being declared to be a duty, I will add some directions for the better performing of it.

1. Children are to be trained up in those things which are the ground work of all callings, as reading, writing, and principles of learning. Whatsoever the particular calling be, these will be of great use to any one. Many that have not been taught them at first, would give much for them afterwards. Parents at the first might teach their children those things with much ease and small charge, which afterwards cannot be so well learned, partly for want of leisure, and partly because the parts of those who are grown in years are not so fresh and fit to learn, as in child-hood they were. Those things are not to be contemned as small, without which great things cannot stand.

2. The calling whereunto children are trained up must be lawful, approved by God's word, and not against the general rules thereof: so may they keep a good conscience in the exercise thereof.

3. The calling must be fit for the child that is trained up to it. As there are diverse callings, so there are diverse abilities of sundry children: some are fittest for callings of wit and learning: others for callings that require an able and strong body. Wherein the wise disposing providence of God is much commended: for thus are men much more useful one to another. Now for choice of a fit calling, a child's best ability wherein especially it consisteth, whether in the exercise of mind or of body, is duly to be observed: and also his inclination, to what calling he is most disposed.

4. Among fit callings (for there may be many) that which is best and the most excellent is to be preferred. To this purpose not unfitly may I apply that of the Apostle, ccuet earnestly the best gifts.

On this ground let parents be exhorted to train up such children as they find fit, to the great and weighty calling of the ministry: no calling wherein any may do more good, and wherein (if they be able and faithful Ministers) they can receive more comfort and contentment. This exhortation is the more to be regarded, because in comparison of those who are trained up to other callings, so few are trained up to this.

§ 33. Of parents faults contrary to their duty of training their children up to a calling.

On the contrary, many parents much offend in not training up their children to a calling as they should. And the offense in this kind is committed many ways. As

1. When parents suffer their children to live like little masters at home, and pass over all their youth in idleness. Thus they prove very drones, and caterpillars in the common wealth: if they have a patrimony, they soon waste it: if they have none, they oft prove either thieves or beggars: they are fit for all companies: the readiest prey for the devil that can be: for they are like the house empty, swept and garnished, which when the evil spirit espieth, he presently entereth into it with seven other spirits worse then himself.

The wise law-maker among the heathen is said to order that the child which by his parents had been taught no Art, should not be forced to nourish them though they were old or poor. This I all eage not to justify the law (for it is against the Christian rule of overcoming evil with goodness) but to show how the very heathen judged the neglect of this duty a great fault in parents.

2. When parents neglect to teach their children in their child-hood the general and common grounds of all callings: some upon niggardliness; others upon carelessness. Thus poor men make their children unfit for many means, whereby they might well maintain themselves: and rich men make theirs unfit for magistracy, and for good society. Yea poor and rich are thus nousled up the more in ignorance, and made the more unfit to profit by the preaching of the word, and other means of spiritual edification.

3. When parents bring up their children in unwarrantable and unlawful callings, as to be of popish and idolatrous orders; to attend upon papists; to be stage-plaiers, keepers of dice-houses, &c. Some (which is horrible to think of) train up their daughters to be common strumpets: and some (which is yet more horrible) train up their children to be sorcerers and witches. How can they in these keep a good conscience, when the very works of their calling are sin? Is not this to thrust them headlong into hell? They who thus bind their children to the devils sacrileges are spiritual murderers of them.

4. When parents have no respect at all to the fitness of the calling: as when they train up children of able bodies, but dull and slow capacity, of a stuttering tongue and other like imperfections, to learning, wherein they prove very dunces, and lose all their time, or are not able to make use of the learning which they have: or when they train up children which have a great inclination to learning, and are very fit thereunto, in some other trade, which, after many years speut therein, they are forced to leave.

5. When parents only seek after the most gainful trade, and never think to educate their children most to the honor of God. How can such expect God's blessing upon the means used for their children's good? Hence is it that among Papists so many are trained up to Ecclesiastical orders and functions: and so few among Protestants. For there is very great maintenance and revenues for such among Papists: but little in comparison among Protestants:

§. 34. Of parents teaching their children piety.

The spiritual good of children, and that in their childhood, is to be procured by parents as well as their temporal. Wherefore Parents must train up their children in true piety. This is expressly commanded in my text under this phrase admonition of the Lord. Under the law God did both simply command it, and that very often, and also ordained diverse outward rites, and caused many visible and extraordinary monuments to be set up, that thereby children might be occasioned to ask of their parents the mystery of them, and that parents from that inquiry of their children might take occasion to teach them the ordinances of the Lord.

This express charge of the Lord is further commended by that practice which holy parents from time to time have yielded thereunto: instance the examples of Abraham, David, Bathsheba, Lois and Eunice, with many others.

1. Piety is the best thing that a parent can teach his child: for as reason maketh a man differ from a beast; and as learning and civility maketh a wise and sober man differ from sauages and swaggerers; so piety maketh a sound Christian much more to differ from the most civil and well ordered natural man that can be. Learning, civility, calling, portion, are all nothing without piety. Now it is an especial point of wisdom, to seek the best good that we can, as for our selves, so also for our children: yea this is an evident sign of a parents true love of his child.

2. There is a necessity that children be taught piety, because they are not borne but made Christians: by nature they are utterly destitute of all piety: for by nature every imagination of the thoughts of man's heart is only evil continually (Gen. 6. 5.) and in that respect man is borne like the wild asse colt (Job 11. 12.) so as a man were better be unborn then not taught piety.

3. The charge and office of parents bindeth them to teach their children piety: for they are by God made watchmen over their children: if therefore their children live and die in impiety through their parents negligence, their blood shall be required at their parents hands: instance the example of Eli.

§. 35. Of directing parents how to teach their children true piety.

1. Whatsoever principle of piety, parents do teach their children, they must be sure that it be grounded on God's word: thus much this phrase (admonition of the Lord) implieth.

Thus shall parents be sure to feed them with good wholesome spiritual food, such as shall make to their spiritual nourishment, and eternal life. In this respect principles of religion grounded on God's word are called sound, or wholesome, or healthful words: and that both in regard of their matter and substance, and also in regard of their effect; they cause and preserve good, sound, spiritual health. We know that natural men have a care to give their children such food as is wholesome for their body: (for will a father that is evil, give his child a stone, or a serpent, and not that which is good?) Conscience must move religious parents, to have the like care of the souls of their children, as nature teacheth all parents to have of their bodies. If parents be careful to draw those principles, wherein they instruct their children, out of God's word, they shall be sure not to poison their souls with any error, heresy, superstition, or idolatry.

2. When children begin to read, let them read the holy Scripture: so was Timothy trained up from a child (2 Tim. 3. 15.) Thus will children suck in religion with learning: for there is a secret virtue lurking in the holy Scripture (which is God's own word) more then in any books of men: so as through God's blessing there may by this means be an inward work of grace in children even in their young years. Besides, no books are more easy then many parts of Scripture; and no histories more admirable and delightful, then the histories of the Scripture. It is the advice of an ancient Father, that young children be made acquainted with the words and names of holy Scripture: and that, instead of tales and fables, choice histories of the Bible be made known to them: and that they be instructed in the Proverbs of Solomon.

3. Let children be catechised constantly from day today: rehearse them continually unto thy children, saith the Law. That which is daily done, is in Scripture said to be done continually: as the sacrifice which was daily offered was called a continual offering. Here let this caveat be noted, that in giving this spiritual food, parents deal with their children, as skillful nurses and mothers do in feeding infants: they will not at once cram more into their mouths, then their stomach is able to digest, but they will rather oft feed them with a little: so it is not meet, that parents be too tedious; that will but dull a child's understanding, and breed wearisomeness, and make it loath to be again instructed: but precept upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little, and there a little. Thus shall they learn with case and delight: and this being oft performed, in time a great measure of knowledge will be gained thereby. If a vessel have a little mouth, we use not to fill it by pouring whole paile-fuls upon it, for so all may be spilled, and it receive little or nothing: but we let the liquor fall in by little and little, according to the capacity of the mouth; so is nothing lost, and the vessel filled the sooner. Thus are children to be dealt withal.

4. To the set times of catechizing children, let other occasions of teaching them piety be added: as at table, by resembling the spiritual food of their souls, to that corporal food, whereby their bodies are nourished: when they are walking abroad, by showing them the stars, how they remain steadfast in their course; the trees, how they bring forth fruit in their season; how all things are for the use and benefit of man, and thereupon make spiritual uses: note the direction which for this purpose the Law giveth to parents, Thou shall talk to thy children of my words, when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

5. Let parents open to their children the mysteries of those outward rites which God hath ordained in his Church, as of Preaching, Baptising children, administering the Lord's Supper, ceasing from work on the Lord's day, with the like. This was expressly commanded under the law. Visible rites are great helps to the weak understanding of children, when they are plainly opened and applied: yea they are also especial means of keeping in memory the mysteries contained under them: as course threads or wiars are means to preserve pearls put upon them. So oft as they see the rites they will be put in mind of the mysteries implied under them.

6. To this may be referred a declaration of such great and admirable works as God in former times hath done for his Church: especially such works as have been done in their time: and if any memorials be remaining of them, make them known to children. This direction was also given under the law, concerning the monuments which were set up of the great deliverances that God gave to his people. In particular when the day of the gunpowder-treason is solemnized, parents ought to teach their children the occasion of solemni • ing that day. And as God doth any great works of mercy • r of judgment, point them out to children. When there is great famine, plague, or any mortality, instruct children in • he causes thereof: when victory, plenty, peace, or the like, • ach children from whence these come. Outward sensible things do best work upon children.

7. Let religious school masters be chosen for children: so •• ewise other masters to whom children are put forth: and religious houses where they are placed. Hannah commended • er first borne child to old Eli, a good, religious high Priest. • 〈◊〉 • masters themselves be religious, there is good hope that they will instruct in piety such as are under them: which if they • oe, what an help will that be to parents? If both parents and masters join therein, it must needs be very profitable to • e children. If parents should fail, yet might masters make a • ood supply.

8. Let parents be to their children a good pattern and example in piety. I and my house (saith Joshua) will serve the Lord: he setteth himself first as a guide to the rest. I will walk in mine house with a perfect heart, saith David, whereby he would make himself an example, as to others of his family, so to his children. Example is a real instruction, and addeth a sharp edge to admonition. Much more shall a religious parent do by practice then by precept. For children are much inclined to follow their parents: let them go before, children will soon follow after. Practice is an evident proof of the necessity of the precept delivered.

§. 36. Of Parents faults contrary to their duty of teaching their children piety.

Many are the aberrations contrary to the forenamed care of teaching piety. For

1. Most parents care only for the temporal and civil good of their children: so their children may be well fed and clothed, and brought up in some profitable calling, whereby they may well maintain themselves in this world, little thought is had, or care taken for their spiritual life in this world, or eternal life in the world to come. Wherein are these parents better then heathen? Job was otherwise minded: he was more careful for their souls then for their bodies.

2. Many are so far from teaching piety, as they teach their children profaneness, pride, riot, lying, deceit, and such like principles of the devil. It had been better for such children to have lived among wild beasts, then under such parents. As the children hereby are thrust headlong to hell, so their blood shall be required of their parents.

3. Others think it enough that their children be taught a religion, but what religion it skilleth not. Such are they as having rich kindred but popish, commend their children to the education of such kindred, in hope of some temporal benefit, that their children may reap from them. If they were as careless of their children's bodies, they would be accounted little better then murderers: and is not the soul more precious then the body?

4. So far are many from catechizing their children and that daily, as they teach them not so much as the Lord's prayer, the Belief, and the ten Commandments. Wherein Papists shall rise up in judgment against them, that are very diligent in teaching their children, Pater noster, Ave Maria, and such like Latin principles, as the children cannot possibly understand.

5. Few use the forenamed outward helps, as the holy rites appointed of God, the great and glorious works of God, his extraordinary works of mercy or judgment, to instruct their children thereby. As they themselves care not to take notice of any such thing, so they care not whether their children do it or no.

6. So much do some prefer a little pelf before the true good of their children, as they care not to what schoolmaster they put their children, be he profane, or popish, or unlearned, especially if he be a kinsman, or one of their friends. Few will so do in case of their health or outward estate: but will rather get the best Physician, or the best Lawyer that they can. Children oft learn such evil qualities of their schoolemasters as they can never shake off again.

7. Many prove very bad patterns to their children, and give very ill example by profanensse, riotousnesse, swearing, drinking, playing at unlawful games, &c. These parents as they brought forth their children in sin, so they lead them on forward to hell. Their evil example is not only an hindrance to the good instruction of others, but also maketh all their own counsels (if at any time they do give any good counsel) to be in vain: for the left hand of evil example soon pulleth down more then the right hand of instruction can build again.

To conclude, those parents whose children are not brought up in the instruction of the Lord, show plainly that they regard neither the salvation or damnation of their souls.

§. 37. Of instructing children so soon as they are capable.

Hitherto of the Kinds of nurture. The Time thereof followeth.

1. Parents ought to begin to nurture their children so soon as they are capable of any instruction. Even as young birds are taught by their dams to fly so soon as their wings can carry them. Traine up a child (saith Solomon) that is, while he is young and tender: and again, He that loveth his child nurtureth him be times. Thus was Samuel sent when he was very young to be trained up under Eli, (1 Sam. 1. 24.) and Solomon was instructed by his father when he was tender, (Pro. 4. 3.) and Timothy was taught the Scriptures from a young child, or infant.

There are both privative, and positive reasons to press this point. Priuatiue, in regard of the mischiefs that may be prevented thereby. Positiue, in regard of the good that may be gained thereby.

1. Many are the evils which children by nature are prone unto, even as rank ground is subject to bring forth many weeds: for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth: and foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. If therefore they be not well nurtured betimes, what can be looked for, but the fruits of evil, and folly. But timely nurture will prevent such fruits, and be an excellent preservative against their own natural corruption, against Satan's temptations and against the allurements or discouragements of the world

2. Continuance in evil maketh children obstinate, and inflexible therein. Eli's sons being suffered to go on in wickedness till they came to ripeness of years, would not afterwards hearken to the voice of their Father. What creature can be tamed, if it be not begun with while it is young?

3. When children first begin to be capable of instruction they are most pliable to follow the direction of their parents as is evident by the ordinary course of nature in all things Clay, wax, and such other things while they are soft receive any impression: twigs while they are tender are bowed any way: birds and beasts are easily tamed when they are young: corn sown betimes bringeth a timely and plentiful harvest.

4. That which in childhood is learned, is longest retained: Traine up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. A vessel longest keepeth that savor with which at first it is seasoned: and by experience we may note old men best to remember the things which in their childhood they learned: yea by well educating children from their infancy much labor may afterwards be spared: for constant use of virtue bringeth it unto a law.

§. 38. Of mothers peculiar care in nurturing young children.

By the way let mothers especially note this point of timely nurture, as a point in peculiar appertaining to them. The grandmother Lois, and mother Eunice, first taught Timothy, Bathsheba taught Solomon when he was young. Oft doth Solomon warn children not to forsake their mothers teaching.

Whereby he implieth that mothers should teach their children especially while they are young: which duty so belongeth to a mother, as Solomon layeth the blame, and shame of the neglect thereof upon her: on the other side the honor of well nurturing children redoundeth especially to the mother. To this purpose is it, that the particular names of the mothers of the kings are recorded in Scripture: intimating thereby that mothers were a main cause of the piety, or impiety of such children. Solomon and Absalom had both one father, but diverse mothers. May we not well think that Solomon's mothers care to instruct him was an especial means of his piety: and that Absolom's mothers neglect of this duty, was some cause of his impiety? It is expressly noted of Ahaziahs mother, that she was his counselor to do wickedly, which made him so wicked as he was. Home-experience confirmeth as much: for if father and mother be of diverse religions, most of the children will follow the mother. For while children are young, their mother is most in their sight: she feedeth, she apparelleth them, she tendeth them when they are not well, (when the Shunemites child being ill, said to his father, my head, my head, he said to his servant, carry him to his mother.) Her precepts therefore and practice in that respect are best heeded by the children, and she hath the best opportunity to persuade them to what she liketh best: so as what they learn in their younger years, commonly they learn of their mothers: and that which then they learn, for the most part sticketh most close unto them, and is longest retained by them, as was noted before.

I have not thus in particular pressed this point upon mothers, as if I exempted fathers from all care of nurturing their children in the beginning: for in my text the Apostle named Fathers: and Solomon saith, that his father taught him eve • while he was tender: and David felt the smart of neglecting hi • other children. It is therefore (as hath before been proved) a joint duty belonging to both. Fathers therefore must do their best endeavor, and see that mothers do theirs also, because he is a governor over child, mother, and all.

§. 39. Of letting slip the best time for nurture.

Contrary is the negligence of most parents, who let the best years wherein their children are most docible pass over in wantonness, vanity, and folly: and so lose that which can never be recovered again, most precious time. Hence is it that when they go about to reclaim their children, they find them exceedingly perverse and head-strong: much like to a strong big arm of a tree, which if a man go about to straiten, he cannot easily make it bow: and though it bow, yet will it not continue to stand as he would have it: nay it may be that it will rather break then bow much. Such a branch was Adonijah. It is apparent that in his childhood he was not well nurtured, for his father would not displease him from his childhood.

The fathers putting off this duty to the mother, and the mothers putting it off to the father, is a great cause of the neglect thereof. Were both of them persuaded that it belonged to them both, and in that respect would to their power be helpful each to other, children would much better be instructed.

§. 40. Of parents continuing to nurture their children.

As parents must begin betimes to nurture their children, so they must hold on therein, as long as they retain any government over them: yea so long as they remain to be parents unto them. Some difference there may be in the manner of performing this duty: for children are to be used as children: and they who are grown in years, and of riper understanding, accordingly to be dealt withal: yet still must parents have a care of their well doing. The word used in my text and translated Children, is a general word which in Scripture and other writers is used to set forth all sort of children, of what sex, of what age, of what degree soever they be. In handling the duty of children we shown, that children owed a subjection to parents so long as they lived together: wherefore by the rule of relation, so long also an authority remaineth in parents over their children, and accordingly they ought to have a fatherly care for their good. On this ground Eli did well in admonishing his children after they were married: his fault was that he went not far enough in doing his duty: somewhat he did, but not all that he should and might have done. Job is commended for the care he had over his children when they were grown in years: for day by day he sent for them and sanctified them: and that after they had several houses of their own, and dwelt apart: and this all their days.

For the performance of that which is now urged, parents must so carry themselves from time to time towards their children, as they ever keep the reins in their own hands, and retain a power to curb their children as they see occasion. They may, as their children grow up in years, slaken the reins more and more, but never let them clean go, and cast them loose on their children's neck.

§. 41. Of parents folly in letting go all their power over their children.

Contrary is their folly who put themselves in their children's power, and let go all their authority over them. Many parents that have thus done, having by woeful experience found the mischief and inconvenience that hath followed thereupon, have much repented their folly, and used means of redress, but all too late. For a mischief is much more easily prevented then redressed. All the power that David had could not hold in Absalom after he was permitted to have horses, and chariots, and men at his command. If David, as he begun, had continued to keep him within a compass, and still held him under, all the treasonable plots which he put in execution, might easily have been prevented. Our times afford too many examples of parents folly in this kind, and of the mischiefs following thereupon.

§. 42. Of adding admonition to instruction.

The means of helping forward the good work of nurture are especially two.

• 1. Frequent admonition.
• 2. Due correction.

Both of them are implied in this text: one in the word translated admonition, which (according to the notation of the Greek word) is a putting of a thing into the mind, an urging and pressing of it: the other in the word translated nurture.

Now both these are to be joined together, as being very helpful each to other. For admonition without correction is like to prove but mere vanity: and correction without admonition will be too much austerity.

The duty which the first of these setteth forth, is this,

Parents must oft whet instruction upon their children: they may not think it enough to tell their children what they ought to do, but to instruction they must add admonition: and, as it were, beat into their children's heads the lessons which they teach them: that so they may make a deeper impression in their hearts. Thus shall their instructions be like the words of the wise which are as nails fastened, or fast knocked in: they remain firm where they are once fastened, and cannot easily be plucked out: for as many blows do knock a nail up to the head (as we speak) so many admonitions do settle good instructions in a childes heart, and cause that the heart be established in that which is taught, which is a thing to be labored after. The general exhortation of being instant in season and out of season may be applied to this purpose: but more pertinently that direction which is in particular given to parents of whetting God's words upon their children.

To this purpose is it that Solomon useth to double his instructions, and urge them again and again, as hear the instruction, forsake not the law: receive my words, hide my commandments within thee: incline thine ears, apply thy heart, &c. yea of the repeateth the very same precepts.

The apprehension of children is fickle, and their memory weak: if they be but once, or seldom, or slightly instructed, that which is taught will soon slip away, and do little or no good.

For the better performing of this duty, parents must think of the best means they can to fasten their instructions upon their children: and observe their inclination and disposition, and see with what they are most moved. Constant exhortations, and powerful persuasions are comprised under admonition, which in their kinds, as occasion requireth, are to be used.

§. 43. Of parents wearisomeness in instructing their children.

Contrary is the practice of those parents who soon wax weary in instructing their children. The Apostle layeth it down as a general caveat in good duties that we wax not weary: if in no good thing we must wax weary, shall parents wax weary in doing good to their children? Yet how many be there that having once taught their children, think they have done duty enough in that kind: if their children will take it, they may. They are loath to take too much pains in often urging the points which they have taught them.

Thus that teaching vanisheth away: and so it falleth out, as we say in the proverb, as good not at all as never the better. This is one point wherein old Eli failed: for he gave very good instruction to his children: but because he there stayed, neither was that accepted of God as a sufficient discharge of his duty, nor were his children any whit bettered thereby. If this were a fault in him notwithstanding his children were come to years of discretion, and to ripeness of understanding, how much greater is the fault in those whose children are but young?

§. 44. Of parents reproving their children.

The other means of helping nurture is correction.

The former is reprehension: and it must always go before the latter, which is most usually and properly called Correction.

Reprehension is a kind of middle thing betwixt admonition and correction: it is a sharp admonition, but a mild correction.

It is the rather to be used because it may be a means to prevent strokes and blows, especially in ingenuous, and good natured children (for a reproof entereth more into him that is wise, then a hundred stripes into a fool) and because it may be used, when it is not so meet to use strokes and blows: as when children are grown to man-age.

The many good fruits which the holy Ghost noteth to proceed from due reproof do show that it is a duty whereof parents ought to make conscience as they desire to promote the good of their children: and so much the rather because many good fruits redound to the parents that reprove, as well as to the children reproved. In regard of their good who are reproved, it is said, Reproofes for instruction are the way of life: they cause understanding; and make prudent. In regard of their good who reprove, it is said, To them that rebuke shall be delight (that is, much comfort and matter of rejoicing, so as they shall not need to repent what they have done) and a blessing of good shall come upon them, that is, either a blessing of good men, who will bless, praise and commend them: or a blessing of good things, and that from the Lord who will reward them for this conscionable performance of their duty.

Upon these grounds holy men have not spared to rebuke their children as there was occasion. Though Eli did somewhat in this duty, yet because he was not more severe therein, • he brought destruction both upon himself and his children.

The direction noted §. 40. and 47. and Treat. 4. §. 35. may be here applied.

§. 45. Of parents cockering their children.

Contrary is their too much doting on children, who are • oth to give them a foul word. David (though otherwise a • very wise man) herein manifested much folly, for he displeased • ot Adonijah at any time in saying, why hast thou done so? and like enough it is, that also he so cockered his other rebellious son Absalom. Note the fearful issue that followed thereupon both to father and children. Though their father would not displease them, yet they cared not to displease their father, yea to grieve his heart, and vex his soul. The like may all foolish doting parents look for at their children's hands. For first parents by neglect of this duty highly displease God: therefore in just revenge will God give their children over to displease and vex them. Secondly, neglect of reproof is a means to make children rude, presumptuous, rebellious, and so careless to please their parents. Yea all things where in children offend through want of education shall be required at their parents hands.

§. 46. Of correcting children.

The latter and more proper kind of correction which is by stripes and blows is also a means appointed by God to help the good nurture and education of children. It is the last remedy which a parent can use: a remedy which may do good when nothing else can.

It is by the holy Ghost both expressly commanded, and also very oft pressed under these and such like phrases, Ch • sten thy son: correct thy son: with-hold not correction from the child: thou shalt smite him with the rod. Were there no other motive, this were sufficient. God's charge was such a motive to Abraham, as at it he would have sacrificed his son: and wilt not thou at God's command correct thy child?

It is further commended by God's own example, which is not only set forth in some particular instances, but by his general constant dealing with all, and that as an especial token and fruit of his love. For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye be without chastisement whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards and not sons. Let this example of God be well weighed, for it is of great weight. Who can better tell what kind of dealing is fittest for children then God? Who can better nurture children then God? Who doth more truly aim at, and procure the good of children then God? Yea who doth more tender children then God? If God the father of spirits in wisdom and love thus deal with his children, fathers of the flesh may not think by the contrary to show wisdom or love. Their wisdom will be folly, their love hatred. Upon these grounds it is taken for a thing granted, that parents (who tender the good of their children as they should) do chastise their children as need requireth: for it is said, that the Lord correcteth whom he loveth, as a father the son in whom he delighteth. If parents used it not, this were no good inference to say, as a father: again, as a thing without controversy it is said, we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us.

The grounds of the equity of this duty, respect partly the children corrected, and partly the parents that correct. In regard of children, it freeth them from much evil, and worketh in them much good.

Correction is as physic to purge out much corruption which lurketh in children, and as a salve to heal many wounds and sores made by their folly. In which respect Solomon saith, that Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him: and again, The blueness of a wound is a purging medicine against evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly. In regard of the inward operation of this physic, correction is further said to preserve a child from death, ( if thou beatest him he shall not die) and that not only from temporal death (as many children are thus preserved from the Magistrates sword) but also from eternal death ( thou shalt deliver his soul from hell.) Note this ye cockering parents, whose over-much lenity is very great cruelty. For may we not justly count him a cruel parent, that should suffer diseases, boils, sores, and wounds to remain, increase, and fester in his child, and give him no physic, nor apply any plasters, or medicines to him? Nay rather who seeth his son running into a flaming fire, or deep water, and would not hold him back? Even so cruel, and more cruel are they, who suffer their children to run on in evil, rather then correct them.

§. 47. A direction to parents in correcting their children.

For well using this biting corasiue of correction, parents must have respect to the matter for which they do correct, and to their manner of correcting.

In regard of the matter, these three things must be noted.

1. That they be sure there is a fault committed: that so there be just cause of correcting: else more hurt then good will proceed from thence. If a corasiue be laid where there is no sore, it will make one. If correction be unjustly given, it may provoke to wrath, but will do little good. This is it wherein earthly fathers are taxed, and made unlike to God, for that many times they correct after their own pleasure: which is a point of great injustice.

2. That the fault be made known to the child corrected: and he apparently convinced thereof. Correction must be for instruction, which cannot be, except the child know why he is corrected: for it is all one to him, as if he were corrected for no fault, if he know not his fault. God thus a first proceeded with the serpent, with Eve, and with Adam. Thus Judges proceed in punishing malefactors. Yea thus will men deal with a dog. Should they not much more with a child?

3. That the faults be such especially, as the parents can show to their children (if at least they be of so much discretion) to be against God's word; as swearing, lying, pilfring, and the like: for 1. these are most dangerous faults, and therefore more carefully to be purged out. 2. the child corrected will thus be the better euicted of his fault, the more condemn himself, and more contentedly bear the correction.

In regard of the manner of correcting, four general, and four particular rules are to be observed.

The general rules are these.

1. An eye must be had to God's manner of correcting his children, and in particular of God's correcting the parent himself: no better general direction can be given: for God's pattern is a perfect rule.

2. Prayer must be made by parents for themselves and for their children: for themselves, to be directed in doing it: for their children, to be bettered by it. Thus will good Physicians in ministering physic. In all duties is prayer to be used; especially in this: for a parent is ready, partly through his own intemperate passion, and partly through the child's impatiency, to fall into one extreme or other. This is not to impose upon all, whensoever they take up the rod, to go and make a solemn prayer, but to lift up the heart for direction and blessing.

3. Correction must be given in love. All things must be done in love: much more this, that carrieth a show of anger and hatred. In love they will give physic to their children, and splinter a joint, if need be. God correcteth his children in love: so must parents. Love will make them do it with tenderness and compassion.

4. Correction must be given in a mild mood, when the affections are well ordered, and not distempered with choler, rage, fury, and other like passions. Disturbed passions cast a mist before the understanding, so as a man cannot discern what is enough, what too much. When passion is moved, correction must be deferred. God correcteth in measure.

The particular rules are these.

1. Due order must be kept. Correction by word must go before correction by the rod. I rebuke and chasten, saith the Lord. Thus a parent will show that he taketh no delight in smiting his child: it is necessity that forceth him thereunto. Thus a parent showeth himself like to God, who doth not punish willingly, Lam. 3. 33. Physicians, when they minister strong physic, will give a preparative: rebuke may be as a preparative. Good and pitiful Surgeons will try all other means before they come to launce and seere.

2. Due respect must be had to the party corrected: if he be young and tender, the lighter correction must be used. Solomon oft mentioneth a rod, as meetest for a child; for that is the lightest correction. So if the child be of a flexible and ingenuous disposition, soon sneapt, the correction must accordingly be moderated. If he be well grown, and withal be stout, and stubborn, the correction may be more severe.

3. Due respect must be had to the fault: Sins directly against God, open, notorious, scandalous sins, known sins, sins often committed, in which they are grown up, and whereof they have gotten an habit, are with greater severity to be corrected.

4. A parent must behold his own faults in correcting his childes: so more compassion will be wrought in him.

§. 48. Of parents too much indulgency.

Contrary to this duty of correcting are two extremes.

• 1. Too much lenity.
• 2. Too much severity.

Many so cocker their children, as they will suffer them to run into any misdemeanor, rather then correct them. They cannot endure to hear their children cry: and therefore their children must be pleased in all their humors and evil desires. These parents bring shame to themselves, and mischief upon their children: for God is oft forced to correct such. Heauy are God's corrections: and oft light on parent and child both: as appeareth by the judgment on Eli and his sons: for such parents make themselves accessory to their children's sins: yea also to the judgments laid upon their children. God saith of such parents, that they honor their children above God. It is therefore a fond indulgency which maketh parents regard neither God's honor, nor their own or children's safety.

Mothers for the most part offend herein, who are so far from performing this duty themselves, as they are much offended with their husbands if they do it. And to proclaim their folly to all the world, they cannot commit their children to a Tutor or School-master, but with a strait charge, that they correct them not.

§. 49. Of parents too much severity in correcting their children.

They who offend in the other extreme of severity, of the two are the more unnatural parents; they offend directly against the first branch of this text (Prouoke not to wrath.) Nothing more provoketh then immoderate severity: for

1. It argueth no love in the parent, but rather hatred, at least wrath, and other such like distempered affections.

2. It softeneth not the childes heart, but hardeneth it rather.

3. It maketh him dull, and stupid, and clean perverteth the right and true end of correction.

4. It oft maketh a child think of doing some mischief to his parent or himself.

That parents may the rather take heed of this extreme, I will briefly note wherein excess in severity is shown.

It is shown, when correction is given

1. For no fault. In this case, though correction be never so light, it is too severe.

2. For small faults, in wrath and fury, though the stripes be few and light, yet the parents behavior is too much severity.

3. To children that are young and tender, or soft, mild and ingenuous, as if they were in some years, the most obstinate and perverse that could be.

4. Too often: for everything done amiss: whereas parents should seem not to see or hear many things which they see, and hear.

5. Too sorely: so as the child is lamed, or some way so hurt as he shall feel it as long as he liveth.

§. 50. Of Parents care in providing fit callings for their children.

Having laid down such duties of parents as especially respect the childhood of children, I proceed to lay forth such as have respect to their riper years wherein they are to be placed forth.

The kinds may be drawn to two heads.

1. Prouiding fit places and callings for them to exercise their gifts.

2. Prouiding fit marriages for them.

We heard before how children were to be trained up, and fitted to some good calling even in their childhood. Now further, when by virtue of good education they are enabled to discharge the functions and duties of a calling, and by years they are well grown up, so as it is time they should be set to some particular calling:

Parents ought to provide fit callings for their children, and fit places for them to exercise the gifts which by nature or education they have gotten. For example, If children have been brought up in learning, parents must use what lawful and honest means they can to settle them in such a place and course as they may profess and exercise their gifts, according to their several kinds, be it Divinity, Law, Physic, or the like: or if they have been brought up in any trade, to provide that they may set up (as we speak) and exercise their trade. The two first children that ever were borne of woman, Cain and Abel, were placed forth in several callings; and without doubt their places were so ordered by their parents. The like may be gathered out of these phrases, Esau was a man of the field, and Jacob dwelt intents. It is noted of Samuel, that he made his two sons Judges. Had they been as faithful in well using their places, as their father was careful in providing them, they might have lived well themselves, and done much good to others. Jesse having many sons, had a care hereof: for he sent his three eldest sons to the war; and placed them in a soldiers course of life: his youngest he made a shepherd, which was in those days and places a calling of greater reckoning then now it is with us.

1. Thus shall they make use of that ability whereunto by their parents providence, and their own diligence they have attained: otherwise that ability may soon be lost. Doth not daily experience show that many who have been well trained up by their parents in learning, so far as they have been fit to have entered into the ministry, for want of place and employment, have in time so forgotten all, as if they had never been trained up in learning: and so in other sciences.

2. Thus come they to do much more good in Church or Common-wealth: till men be placed in distinct callings, they are but fitting and preparing for future times. I deny not but that both Church and Common-wealth may reap much benefit by the pains and labor of the younger sort, who are trained up under others: but most properly are they counted members of the Church and Common-wealth, and actual instruments of the good thereof, who have some particular distinct calling, whereby they do good to others.

3. Thus they come to live of themselves, and to be able to relieve others also. All the time of their education, they are commonly at the charge of others: at least, though by their pains they may gain much, yet the gain returns to others: they themselves for the most part have but a bare maintenance, meat, drink and cloth (as we say:) little have they to lay up for themselves for the time to come, or to give to others for the present.

4. They thus come to train up others against after times, as they themselves have been trained up: whereby a continual and perpetual succession of all kinds of callings, is from time to time preserved: and thus Family, Church, and Common-wealth upheld and maintained. In short time would all callings and functions utterly decay, if a continual supply were not thus made.

§. 51. Direction for parents in providing callings for their children.

Two especial cautions are to be observed by parents in providing callings for their children.

1. That such callings be provided as their children have been trained up unto, and are in some measure fitted and enabled to perform the duties thereof: as to provide a Ministers place for him that hath been brought up in learning and studied divinity: so in other callings such, as their children may be their crafts-masters therein. Thus shall their children do the more good therein, both to others and themselves. Bezaleel and Aholiab were chosen to build the tabernacle because they were filled with wisdom to work all manner of work: likewise the servants of Hirom were chosen to hew Cedar trees for the temple, because among the Jews there were not any that could skill to hew timber, like unto the Sidonians. Pharaoh was careful to have men of activity rulers over his cattle.

2. That such means be used for providing a calling as parents in using them may with faith call upon God for his blessing. They that by lawful means are brought into a calling whereunto they are fitted, are set therein by God, as is implied by this phrase, as God hath called everyone, &c. A lawful entrance into a calling is a matter of great moment: he that so entereth may in a right use thereof cast himself upon God's blessing, and with strong confidence expect the same, saying as the Prophet did, Lord I have not thrust in myself thou knowest.

§. 52. Of the extremes contrary to a parents lawful care in providing fit callings for his children.

The extreme in the defect contrary to a parents provident care in providing a fit calling, is, a careless neglect of children after they are well educated, a leaving them to shift for themselves. It is noted of the ravenous fowls that have sharp talents, that so soon as they perceive their young ones to be able to fly, they will flap and beat them with their wings, and drive them out of their nests, and after that take no further care of them. We may not be like such cruel birds: reason • nd religion teacheth us otherwise. Good education is a good duty, but not a parents whole duty: the stay which is here made, may make all the former care and pains to be of little •• se.

§. 53. Of parents care in providing fit marriages for their children.

God hath further laid a charge upon parents to provide marriages for their children: for thus saith the Prophet in the name of the Lord unto parents, Take wives to your sons, and give your daughters to husbands: and thus the Apostle, If any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flour of her age, and need so require, let them marry. This direction was given in times of persecution, when by reason of the present necessity it was better not to marry: if then a parent ought to be careful (need requiring) to provide a marriage for his daughter, much more ought he in times of peace. Holy parents commended by the Holy Ghost have been careful in performing this duty, as Abraham, Isaac, Naomi, and others: yea Hagar had learned this duty in Abraham's house. But the perfect pattern (which surpasseth all other examples) is of God himself, who provided a fit match for his son Adam.

1. Children may not marry without consent of parents, (as was before shown) Parents therefore must be careful in time to provide for them.

2. Parents are to children in God's place: they must therefore take upon them this care of God.

3. Marriage is the means which the Lord hath sanctified to preserve our bodies chaste and undefiled: as parents therefore desire to keep their children from uncleanness and pollution, they must take care that this means be used. Not only holy Apostles, but also heathen Philosophers, and that by the light of nature, have found this to be the fittest course.

4. This also is a means as to increase the commonwealth, and preserve an holy seed, and to erect new families, so to continue parents own houses and name.

§. 54. Direction to parents in providing marriages.

Two cautions are to be observed of parents in providing marriages for their children.

1. That the match which they provide be meet: so said God when he was about to provide a match for Adam, I will make him an help meet for him. Therefore the match provided must not be too near of kin, of a contrary religion, of too unequal an age, of too great disparity in estate. These things will hinder love, and cause disdain and hatred of one another.

2. Though the match may seem meet in the parents eye, yet he may not force his child thereto. Could a fitter match have been found out for Rebekah then Isaac? yet Rebekah's friends asked her consent. I deny not but parents may use all manner of fair means to move their children to yield to that which they see good for them: but if they cannot move them to yield, to refer the matter to God, and not against their children's minds to force them. When God had made a most meet match for Adam, he brought her to the man: namely to see how he would like her. For the nearest bond of all is betwixt man and wife; a man must leave father and mother, and cleave unto his wife; man and wife must always live together: great reason therefore that at the first joining them together there be a mutual liking of one another, lest ever after there be a perpetual dislike: and though the authority of parents ought in this case to be inviolable, yet a middle course is so to be held, as the parties may willingly with a mutual consent join themselves together.

§. 55. Of the extremes contrary to parents care in providing fit marriages for their children.

The extreme in the defect is, when parents carelessly let their children pass the flour of their age: and never consider whether need require that they should mary or no. Their children may sit long enough before they seek out a match for them, unless it be brought to them: and when one is offered though it be never so fit, yet except they may make an advantage thereof to themselves, they will hardly yield to it. Thus they make their children to seek out marriages for themselves, and without their consent to make them up: or else to live in discontent, if not in uncleanness. By the carelessness of parents in this respect are children oft made a prey to the devil: whereof at the day of judgment parents shall give an account to God.

The extreme in the excess is, when parents through a covetous desire to get great and rich matches for their children, marie them before they be of years of discretion to like or dislike, to know what is meet or unmeet; or able to perform even the essential duties of marriages: seldom do such unlawful marriages prosper.

In a like excess do they offend who for outward advantages match their children to such as by nature are unfit for marriage, to idiots, to idolaters, to profane persons, or they care not to whom. And if their children like not these matches, they will do to the uttermost of their power what they can to force them thereunto. Many mischiefs ordinarily fall out upon such marriages, as utter dislike betwixt husband and wife, continual complaining one of another, inquiring after divorce, or any other separation, wishing, yea practicing one another's death. To all these mischiefs do parents, the cause thereof, make themselves accessory.

§. 56. Of parents providing a stock for callings and marriages of their children.

An especial outward means whereby parents may be the better enabled to provide fit callings and marriages for their children, is, before hand to lay up some stock, or competent portion for their children. This is comprised under that general provision, whereof he that is careless is counted by the Apostle worse then an insidell: but more expressly is it noted in these words, Parents ought to lay up for their children: and commended in Abraham's example.

While children are under their parents they have no means to lay up for themselves: for all their service is for their parents. But in regard of the times wherein we live, it is needful for setting up in a good calling, and for obtaining a fit match, that children have some stock and portion. It lieth therefore upon the parents, and their duty it is to provide it.

§. 57. Of the extremes contrary to a parents providing portions for his children.

The extremes contrary to the forenamed duty are these:

1. When parents live at the uttermost extent of their estate, and from time to time spend all their revenues or all their gains, and so are scarce able to make even at quarter day, or years end. What stock or portion can they lay up for children?

2. When parents live above their estate, and spend riotously their ordinary gains, or revenues, and for other necessary affairs are forced to run into debt. Many are so far from helping their children in this kind, as they are main hindrance unto them, urging their eldest son especially who is their heir, to be bound for them, and so lay such a burden on his back, as (to use the common phrase) they make it crack again.

3. When parents have enough for themselves and their children, and yet so couetously dote upon their wealth, as they will not bestow a groat to help them in calling and marriage, but say they keep all for them. What a wretched and foolish disposition is this, that they should still lay up more and more for their children, and yet refuse to bestow any part thereof upon them in their greatest need, when it might redound to their greatest benefit? God oft meeteth with such covetous misers, and crosseth their purposes, by making strangers to enjoy that which they greedily hoarded up.

§. 58. Of parents last speech to their children.

The last duty which parents owe to their children, is, when they cease to be parents: that is, when they are going out of this world. Their duty at that time in general is to do what lieth in them, that it may go well with their children after their departure. Both the reasons which are oft urged by the Holy Ghost, to stir up parents to yield obedience to God, taken from extent of God's blessing (in this kind of phrase, Blessed shall their children be after them) and God's promises made to that purpose do prove as much.

For the better performing of this duty, three general points, tending both to the temporal, and also to the spiritual good of children, are to be observed: and two particular points most tending to their temporal estate.

The three generals are these.

• 1. Good direction.
• 2. Faithful prayer.
• 3. A wise choice of some friends to be as parents to them.

1. For direction. When parents observe their time to draw near, they ought to commend some wise and wholesome precepts unto their children, the better to direct them in their Christian course. So did Isaac, and Jacob.

Ob. These Patriarchs had an extraordinary spirit of prophesying, & by virtue thereof foretold their children things to come.

Answ. They sustained a double person: one of a prophet, another of a father: as prophets, they had an extraordinary spirit; as parents, they performed ordinary duty: by their extraordinary spirit, they foretold things to come: the ordinary duty which they performed, was to direct their children how to carry themselves in those times to come. For their prophesies were not only predictions, but also instructions, to direct and teach them what to do. What they did by an extraordinary spirit in extraordinary things, we must do in ordinary duties by the ordinary spirit of understanding and wisdom which the Lord giveth us. But the direction which Isaac gave to Jacob, when he sent him to Laban, was no extraordinary prophesy: nor that which David, when he was old, gave to Solomon: and again, when he lay on his death-bed. Now these things are thus written for our imitation. And great reason there is to imitate those holy men in these things. For

1. The words of a dying parent are commonly most regarded: his last words do make a deep impression ( this do the brethren of Joseph press upon him.) If ever therefore there be a time seasonable for a parent to give good instructions to his children, then is the time when parents are clean departing from their children.

2. Thus shall a parent manifest his true affection, and earnest desire of his children's good: for now they cannot think that he seeketh his own ease, and profit, more then their good: as at other times some will be ready to say of their parents instructions and admonitions, Our parents know what is good for themselves.

That the last words of parents may be the more seasonably and profitably delivered to their children, they must note, on the one side, what evils their children are most prone unto, what temptations they are most assaulted withal, what snares they are most like to fall into; and on the other side, what virtues and graces are most needful for them, and wherein they fail most, and accordingly they must order and frame their last words. Note for a pattern herein Isaac's counsel to Jacob, when he sent him to Laban, and thought he should never see him again: and David's to his son Solomon.

§. 59. Of Parents last blessing to their children.

II. Concerning the prayers of parents for their children, I noted it before to be a general duty never to be omitted: yet here in particular I mention it again, because a parents blessing consisteth therein especially: and then is the most proper time for parents to bestow a blessing on their children, as Isaac, Jacob, David, and others did. Let parents therefore as they commend their own souls into God's hand, so commend their children unto God's grace and blessing. God's providence is a good inheritance: many children do thereby exceedingly prosper, though they have but small outward means; whereas others that have great means used for their good, come to ruin; God's curse following them. Now no such means can be thought of to procure God's blessing, or to with-hold his curse, as the faithful prayers of parents for their children; especially when parents are leaving their children, and going to God.

§. 60. Of parents care to commend their children to some faithful friends.

III. The third general point of making choice of some faithful friends to commend their children unto, is especially in behalf of such as are not of sufficient age and discretion to look to themselves, or to those weighty affairs which belong unto them. The friends, which in this case are made choice of, ought to be such as the parents themselves by good experience have found to be honest, wise, faithful, and loving to them and theirs; whom parents are to set in their own place for the good of their children. This means did David use when he was old in the behalf of his son Solomon. Many children have found much help thereby. Such may make a good supply of the departure of parents. These are so much the more needful, by how much the more unstable, and unbridled youth is; and by how much the less able children are to help and guide themselves.

§. 61. Of parents neglect of their children for the time to come.

Contrary to a parents providence for the good of his children after his departure, is the carelessness of parents for the time to come. They think the world is gone with them when they are gone, and therefore they will take no thought for the future times that shall be after them; as if it were enough for everyone to look to his own time. There may seem to be more self-love in such parents then love of their children, in that their care determineth with their own time, and extendeth not it self to the time and continuance of their children. Hence is it, that not a word of direction and exhortation cometh out of their mouths to their children when they are departing, no blessing that they will leave behind them, no friends shall be deputed by them, to be as parents to their children. Let God provide, say they. But where there is a referring of matters to God's providence, without the use of those means which God hath warranted and commended by his word, there can be little hope that God should take care of that which is so commended to him. Such men do not in faith depend upon God's providence, but make the very name thereof a pretext to cast off that care, which God as a bounden duty requireth of them. As there is little love of their children in such parents, so there is less zeal of God's glory: for a parents care of his children's welfare, especially of their continuing to fear and serve the Lord after their own departure out of this world, is an especial means of preserving God's fear in the world, and propagating it from age to age: so as this neglect is a greater fault then many are aware of.

§. 62. Of parents making a Will before they die.

The two particular things to be observed by parents for manifestation of their provident care over their children for the time to come, even after their departure, especially in regard of their temporal estate, are these,

• 1. That they make a will.
• 2. That they leave their estates to their children.

1. It hath been an ancient commendable practice both among God's people, and others also, that have been guided with common civility, when they who have any estate, wax old, or sick, and have any occasion of expecting death offered unto them, to make their last Will and testament. This is set forth in the Old Testament under this phrase (Put thy house in order.) A duty it is expressly commanded by God: and that not without good reason. For

1. A parents Will is an especial means to settle peace among children after his departure, and to make them content with that allowance which he hath set out unto them, because by the Will they know it was their fathers pleasure they should have such and such a portion. If controversies should arise, yet a Will is a means for the law speedily to determine the same without any tedious and chargeable suits: for the Apostle taketh it for a ruled case, that no man disanulleth or addeth anything to a man's' testament.

2. After a parent hath made his Will, he may the more quietly settle himself for heavenly contemplations, and preparations to death: and think of such good instructions as are most fit to give as his farewell to his children: and the more willingly expect the moment of his dissolution: and the more patiently submit himself to the very stroke of death.

In performing this duty, a man must both observe a fit time, and also take good advice. The fit time is while his understanding is good, and his memory perfect: so as he may call to mind his debts, what he oweth, and what is owing to him: as also what goods he hath to bestow, and with discretion and wisdom order his estate. And because through the cavils which many unconscionable lawyers and others are like to make, his true meaning may be perverted, it is meet to have the advice of such as can in distinct words and phrases so express his meaning, as they shall be free from exception. Matters of weight are wisely to be managed.

§. 63. Of neglecting to make a Will.

Contrary is the daily practice of too many parents who are not willing to make any will at all: or else on vain hope that they may live longer, and when they are sick, upon conceit that they may recover, or at least longer continue to enjoy the use of their understanding and memory, put off the making of their Will till it be too late: and so die without Will, or make such a Will as ministereth more matter of suit, then if they had no Will at all; either because doubt is made whether he that made it had his understanding and memory or no: or because his Will is so abrupt and ambiguous, as his meaning cannot be known. The mischiefs that follow these neglects, are many. As

• 1. Discredit to the party deceased.
• 2. Contentions among his surviving children.
• 3. Wasting a great part, if not his whole estate, in suits of law.
• 4. Defeating many creditors of their due debt.

The reason which maketh many to put off the making of their Will is a foolish conceit, that if a man's Will be once made, then he must needs die out of hand. But what ground have men for any such conceit? If sickness grow upon a man, so long as his Will is unmade his mind is unsettled, his mind being unsettled, the physic that is ministered to him cannot so kindly work; so as his death may be the more hastened for not making a Will. Besides, if his speech fail before his understanding, the thought that then he shall die without a Will may so perplex him, as his departure will be very unquiet and troublesome.

§. 64. Of parents leaving their estate to their children when they die.

It was before shown that parents were to lay up a portion for their children against their entrance into a calling, and marriage: There is a further duty required when they are going out of the world, namely that they leave their whole estate to their children. (Where I say whole, I exempt not works of charity, nor payment of debts, which is a point of justice, but I include more then is given as portions or stocks in their life time.) That estate especially which parents have received from their progenitors are they most bound to leave unto their children. It is expressly recorded that