Of Domestical Duties

1. Object. No other creature will so do: so as it may seem to be against nature.

Answ. 1. I deny the argument: though some forbear, yet all do not.

2. I deny the consequence: for other creatures are not so tied one male to one female, as an husband to his own wife. Besides, that which beasts by nature are tied unto, must be left to man's discretion.

2. Object. After a woman hath once conceived, no more conceptions can be expected, till she be delivered.

Answ. Conception is not the only end of this duty: for it is to be rendered to such as are barren.

Quest. What if the wife give suck to her child, ought not her husband then to forbear?

Answ. Because giving suck is a mother duty, man ought to do what he can to contain.

§. 10. Of mutual love betwixt man and wife.

Hitherto of those common mutual duties which tend to the preservation of the very being of marriage, and are in that respect absolutely necessary. The other common mutual duties (though they be not of so absolute necessity as the former) are in their kind necessary for the good estate of marriage, and for the better preserving of that knot: so as, if they be not performed, the end and right use of marriage will be perverted, & that estate made uncomfortable, & very burdensome. The first of these is Love. A loving mutual affection must pass betwixt husband and wife, or else no duty will be well performed: this is the ground of all the rest. In some respects Love is proper and peculiar to an husband, as I purpose to show when I come to speak of an husbands particular duties. But Love is also required of wives, and they are commanded to be lovers of their husbands, as well as husbands to love their wives: so as it is a common mutual duty belonging to husband and wife too: and that is true wedlock, when man and wife are linked together by the bond of love. Under love all other duties are comprised: for without it no duty can be well performed. Love is the fulfilling of the Law, that is, the very life of all those duties which the law requireth. It is the bond of perfection, which bindeth together all those duties that pass betwixt party and party. Where love aboundeth, there all duties will readily and cheerfully be performed. Where love is wanting, there every duty will either be altogether neglected, or so carelessly performed, that as good not be performed at all: in which respect the Apostle willeth, that all things be done in love. Love as it provoketh the party in whom it ruleth to do all the good it can; so it stirreth up the party loved to repay good for good. It is like fire, which is not only hot in it self, but also conueigheth heat into that which is near it: whence ariseth a reflection of heat from one to another. Note how admirably this is set forth betwixt Christ and his Spouse in the Song of Solomon: and it is further manifested in the examples of all good husbands and wives noted in the Scripture: they did mutually bear a very loving affection one to another.

Though love be a general duty which everyone oweth to another, even to his enemy, yet the nearer that God hath linked any together, the more are they bound to this duty, and the more must they abound therein. But of all others are man and wife most nearly and firmly linked together. Of all others therefore are they most bound hereunto, & that in the highest degree that may be, even like to Jonathan's love, who loved David as his own soul. Solomon saith, He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord: which by the rule of relation is also true of an husband, She that findeth an husband findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord. Man and wife therefore are each to other an especial pledge of God's favor, and in this respect above all others under God to be loved. If this be the ground (as it ought to be) of their mutual love, their love will be fervent and constant. Neither will the want, or withering of any outward allurements, as beauty, personage, parentage, friends, riches, honors, or the like, with-hold or with-draw, extinguish or extenuate their love: neither will any excellencies of nature or grace in other husbands and wives draw their hearts from their own to those other: nor yet will the love of a former yoke-fellow dead and gone, any whit lessen the love of the living mate.

This instance I have the rather mentioned, because in many, who are far from setting their affection on strange flesh, their love of a former husband or wife departed is so fast fixed in their heart, as they can never again so entirely love any other. They who are so minded are not fit to be joined with another yoke-fellow after they are loosed from one. If they mary again, and manifest such a mind, they plainly show that they respect this or that person more then God's ordinance. By God's ordinance man and wife are no longer bound one to another then they live together. Death is an absolute diremption, and maketh an utter dissolution of the marriage bond. If the man be dead, the wife is delivered from the law of the man, so as she may take another man. Which liberty is also given to the man. Being now free, if they mary another (that other being now a true husband or wife) their love must be as entire to that other as it was to the former: yea, and more entire, if there were any defect in the former. For as children married out of their parents house must not retain such a love of their parents as shall swallow up their love of the party to whom they are married, but must according to the law, leave father and mother, and cleave to their yoke-fellow: so neither must the love of a former husband or wife be predominant when they are married to another. This other must be as close cleaved unto, as if they had never been joined to a former. The living husband or wife is the present pledge of God's favor. He is now thine own husband: and she is now thine own wife: and not the party that is dead. I deny not but the memory of a virtuous husband or wife ought to be precious to the surviving party: for the memorial of the just is blessed. But as the virtue of a person deceased may not be buried with the dead corps: so neither may the person be kept above ground with the memory of his or her virtue: which after a sort is done, when love of the party deceased either taketh away, or extenuateth the love of the living. This is to give dominion to the dead over the living: which is more then the law enjoineth.

§. 11. Of husbands and wives mutual hatred contrary to love.

There is a generation of so crabbed and crooked a disposition as they cannot love, but rather hate one another because they are man and wife: for many husbands having wives, and wives husbands every way worthy to be loved, will notwithstanding say to the astonishment of the hearers, I have indeed a good husband, or I have a good wife: but I cannot love him, or I cannot love her: and being demanded a reason, stick not openly and impudently to reply, I think I could love him if he were not mine husband, or I think I could love her if she were not my wife. O more then monstrous impudency! Is not this directly to oppose against God's ordinance, and against that order which he hath set betwixt man and woman? Is it not to trample under foot God's favor? Though there were nothing else to move love but this, that such an one is thine husband, or such an one is thy wife, yet this should be motive enough. And shall this be the ground of thine hatred? Assuredly such a spirit is a plain diabolical spirit, contrary to that spirit which is from above; and if it be not cast out, it will cast those whom it possesseth into the fire of hell.

§. 12. Of mutual peace betwixt Man and Wife.

Among other means of maintaining an inward loving affection betwixt man and wife, outward mutual peace, concord, and agreement is one of the principal. Whereupon the Apostle exhorteth to keep the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace: for peace is a bond that tieth one to another, and maketh them to be as one, even one in spirit: as on the contrary side outward discord disunites men's spirits. We are enjoined to follow peace with all men: how much more of all persons ought husbands to have peace with their wives, and wives with their husbands? they are nearer then brothers and sisters. Behold then how good and pleasant a thing it is for them to dwell together in unity. Dwell together they must: but without peace there is no dwelling together: It is better to dwell in a corner of the house top then with a contentious woman in a wide house. Persons at variance were far better be out of sight and place, then present together. Out of sight and place man and wife must not be, at peace therefore they must be. Mutuall peace betwixt them is a great refreshing to their minds, being beaten with the discords of others. It is said that a wife is in this respect as an haven to man (how much more man to his wife?) If the haven be calm, and free from storms and tempests, what a refreshing will it be to the Mariner that hath been tossed in the sea with winds and waves?

For maintaining peace,

1. All offenses so much as possibly may be must be avoided. The husband must be watchful over himself that he give no offense to his wife: and so the wife on the other side. Offences cause contentions.

2. When an offense is given by the one party, it must not be taken by the other; but rather passed by: and then will not peace be broken. The second blow makes the fray.

3. If both be incensed together, the fire is like to be the greater: with the greater speed therefore must they both labor to put it out. Wrath must not lie in bed with two such bed-fellows: neither may they part beds for wrath sake. That this fire may be the sooner quenched, they must both strive first to offer reconciliation. Theirs is the glory who do first begin, for they are most properly the blessed peacemakers. Not to accept peace when it is offered is more then heathenish: but when wrath is incensed, to seek atonement is the duty of a Christian, and a grace that cometh from above.

4. Children, servants, nor any other in the family must be bolstred up by the one against the other. The man's partaking with any of the house against his wife, or the wives against her husband, is an usual cause of contention betwixt man and wife.

5. They must forbear to twit one another in the teeth with the husbands or wives of other persons: or with their own former husbands or wives (in case they have had any before.) Comparisons in this kind are very odious. They stir up much passion, and cause great contentions.

6. Above all they must take heed of rash and unjust jealousy, which is the bane of marriage, and greatest cause of discontent that can be given betwixt man and wife. Iealous persons are ready to pick quarrels, and to seek occasions of discord: they will take every word, look, action, and motion, in the worse part, and so take offense where none is given. When jealousy is once kindled, it is as a flaming fire that can hardly be put out. It maketh the party whom it possesseth implacable.

7. In all things that may stand with a good conscience they must endeavor to please one another: and either of them suffer their own will to be crossed, rather then discontent to be given to the other. Saint Paul noteth this as a common mutual duty belonging to them both, and expresseth their care thereof under a word that signifieth more then ordinary care, and implieth a dividing of the mind into diverse thoughts, casting this way, and that way, and every way how to give best content.

§. 13. Of contentions betwixt man and wife.

Contrary to mutual peace are contentions betwixt man and wife: which are too frequent in most families, and by which the common good is much hindered. Discord betwixt man and wife in an house is as contention betwixt the master and pilot in a ship: may not great danger, and much mischief be thence justly feared? We heard before that man to his wife, and she to him, is as an haven. Now by experience we find that if the haven be tempestuous it is much more troublesome, and dangerous to the Mariner then the wide sea. Wherefore let man and wife be of the same mind one to another as Abraham was to Lot, and when occasions of discord are offered, say, Let there be no strife betwixt thee and me, for we are man and wife: no more two, but one flesh.

§. 14. Of husbands and wives dwelling together.

From a mutual affection of love proceedeth a mutual provident care in husband and wife one for another. In handling whereof we will first note the means whereby their mutual providence may be the better effected and manifested, and then the matter whereabout it must be conversant. The means in one word is cohabitation. For a duty it is that man and wife dwell together. The phrase used in setting out the woman's creation (he built a woman, whereby the erecting of a family is intimated) implieth as much: so doth the law of marriage whereby man is enjoined to leave father and mother, and to cleave unto his wife, that is, to go out of his fathers house, and to dwell with his wife: and so doth this phrase (forget thy fathers house) taken from the duty of a wife, and mystically applied to the Church. Saint Peter expressly chargeth husbands to dwell with their wives: and Saint Paul layeth it to the charge both of husbands and wives not to leave one another, but to dwell together, yea though the one be an infidel. Surely it was conscience of this duty which made the Levite to go after his wife, that went away from him, to bring her home again: and which made Iaakobs wives to leave their fathers house, and go with their husband. The word under which Saint Peter compriseth this duty is a title appropriated to an husband: and an answerable title is appropriated to a wife: from which the notation of our two usual English words (husband, housewife) doth not much differ.

The power which the one hath of the others body, and the advantage which by living asunder, they give unto Satan, (both of which are expressly noted, 1 Cor. 7. 4, 5.) do show the necessity of this duty: and the many benefits arising from thence do further press the equity of it. By husbands and wives dwelling together all marriage duties are better performed: mutual love is better bred, preserved, and increased: the good gifts of either of them are better observed by the other: better help and succor is mutually by each afforded to the other: and in fine they are made more capable of doing good one to another, and of receiving good one from another. Why then should they have any mind of living asunder, unless they be forced by extraordinary occasions, as captivity, close imprisonment, contagious sickness, and such like, which are no faults of theirs, but crosses to be borne with grief; and instant prayer, together with all other good means, to be used to bring them together again? Yea if the imprisonment, banishment, or other like kind of absence, be such as one may if they will come at the other, the party that is free ought to come to the other, if at least that other require it.

§. 15. Of the respects for which man and wife may for a time live asunder.

§. 16. Of the error of Papists about man and wifes separation.

Contrarie to the duty of cohabitation is the doctrine of Papists, whereby they teach, that

Separation may be made betwixt man and wife for many causes from bed, or cohabitation, for a certain or uncertain time. The Council of Trent is bold to denounce Anathema against such as say, the Church erreth therein. If the many causes which they allege, besides adultery, be well weighed, we shall find them without all warrant of God's word. They draw them to two heads, 1. Mutuall consent. 2. Demerit.

By consent (say they) of both parties married to attain a greater and perfecter estate, marriage consummate may be loosed from bed and cohabitation.

Answ. 1. In marriage there is a covenant of God (Prov. 2. 17.) as well as of the two parties: the consent therefore of parties is not sufficient to break it.

2. No estate in this world can be greater or perfecter then is meet for married persons. Adam and Eve in their best estate were married: and now is marriage honorable in all.

3. The estates which they count more perfect, are either such as are not in man's power (as perpetual continency) or such as may be as well performed by married persons as by single persons (as Ecclesiastical functions) if at least they be such as are warranted by God's word. High Priests, and other Priests, all sorts of Levites, extraordinary Prophets and Apostles were married. What greater functions then these?

The causes which for demerit, they say, make a separation, • re 1. Adultery. 2. Departing from the Catholic faith. 3. Soli • iting or impelling unto sin.

Concerning Adultery, we deny not, but that it giveth • ust cause of divorce: but withal we say (as we have good warrant from Christ's words) that it is the only cause of just di • orce. For to make a separation for departing from the Catholic faith, is directly contrary to S. Paul's and S. Peters doctrine, 1 Cor. 7. 12, 13, 14. 1 Pet. 3. 1.

As for soliciting and impelling unto sin, though it may because to move an husband or a wife to walk more warily and wisely, and in extremity to avoid society for a time, or to come • lain to the Magistrate for relief, who may see it meet to lay • he delinquent person in prison, or else otherwise keep them sunder till that delinquent be reclaimed and brought to a better mind: yet is it no sufficient cause finally to dissolve ma • age in regard of bed and cohabitation.

They urge that if the right eye cause to offend, it must be pluc • d out.

Ans. 1. That is but a metaphor, and may sundry other ways 〈◊〉 applied.

2. The words are not simply, but by way of comparison to • e taken, rather pluck it out, then to be made to stumble thereby.

3. Plucking out, applied to the point in hand, may be by • any other ways, then by dissolving marriage.

4. That general inhibition (whosoever shall put away his wife, causeth her to commit adultery) restrained only with the exception of fornication, admitteth neither this, nor any other such cause of dissolving marriage.

§. 17. Of husbands and wives unlawful absenting themselves one from another.

Contrarie also to the forenamed duty of cohabitation, is the practice of many men, who living themselves in one place (suppose at London) send their wives unto some country house, and there even mew them up, as Hawkes, never caring to come at them, but are then most merry, when their wives are farthest off. If their wives live at home they will be abroad, mealing and lodging where their wives shall not know: their own house is as a prison to them: they are not well, but when they are out of it. Of the like lewd conceit and practife are many wives, who on no other occasion then mere lightness, being eager in pursuing their pleasures, and satisfying their lusts, gad out of their own houses in the day, lie out of them in the night, and remain in other company days and nights: or at least are glad when their husbands have occasion to be from home; not unlike to the light housewife which Solomon describeth, Prov. 7. 10. &c. I speak of matters too famous, or rather infamous. I would there were no just cause to tax this lightness. But let such as desire to approve themselves to God or man, take heed of these heinous and more then heathenish vices. Though Israel play the harlot, yet let not Judah offend.

Too near to the forenamed kind of unlawful separation do they come, who though they live both in one house, yet make that house by their estranging themselves one from another as two houses: the man abiding in one end thereof, his wife in another: and so have their several rooms, several tables, several servants, all several: Or if the straitness of their house will not suffer them so to part other rooms, yet they will have several bed-chambers, or at least several beds: so as they that shall call them bed-fellows, shall but nick-name them. Thus they rob each other of that due benevolence which they mutually owe one to another, they expose themselves to the devils snares, they more and more estrange their hearts one from another, and deprive themselves of such mutual comforts and helps, as by matrimonial society they might afford to, and receive from one another.

§. 18. Of husbands and wives mutual prayers.

The matter whereabout husbands and wives mutual providence ought to be conversant, is in general the good of one another; that each of them do that for the other, which Solomon in particular applieth to a wife, viz. good and not evil all the days of their life. Now the good of man extendeth to his soul, body, good name, and goods.

A general duty tending to the good of all these is prayer. S. Peter requireth such a carriage of man and wife one towards another, as their prayers be not hindered: whereby he taketh it for grant, that prayer is a mutual duty which one oweth to the other: which duty Isaac performed for his wife. Herein may man and wife be helpful each to other in all things needful to either of them: for it is the means which God in wisdom hath sanctified for the obtaining of every needful blessing for ourselves or others. By many it is counted but a slight duty and of small use; but the truth is, that to perform it aright, in truth and faith, is both difficult in the deed, and powerful in the effect. It is the best duty that one can perform for another, and the least to be neglected. We heard before, that Isaac prayed for his wife: and to show the good he did to her thereby, it is noted, that the Lord was entreated of him: so as she, being barren before, by that means conceived. All the physic in the world could not have done her so much good. Always therefore, without ceasing is this duty to be performed. Whensoever man and wife make any prayer, therein they must be mindful of one another: yea and oft must they of purpose take occasion to make prayers in special one for another: and that both in absence, and also in presence of one another.

This latter doth especially concern the husband, who is as a Priest unto his wife, and ought to be her mouth to God when they two are together: yet I doubt not, but that the wife may pray in the husbands presence when they two are alone, • ither for trial (that he may have knowledge of her ability and gift in that kind) or for help (if the wife be much better able to perform that duty then the man is, as many wives are.) Not without cause therefore have I reckoned this among common mutual duties.

§. 19. Of the things for which husbands and wives are to pray alone.

There are sundry needful blessings which husbands and wives are to pray for that appertain only to themselves, and are most meet to be mentioned in private prayer betwixt themselves, as

1. That as they two are one flesh, so they may be also one spirit: that their hearts may be as one, knit together by a true, spiritual, matrimonial love: always delighting one in another, ever helpful one to another, and ready with all willingness and cheerfulness to perform all those duties which they owe one to another.

2. That their marriage bed may be sanctified: and as it is by God's ordinance, so it may remain to them by their well using it, a bed undefiled. There is no other thing, for which mutual prayer in private betwixt man and wife is more needful: and that so much the rather, because of the natural heat of lust which is in most: which if it be not by prayer (the best means for that purpose) asswaged, it may prove a defilement of the undefiled bed: and man and wife become adulterers one to another. As other things, so this also is sanctified by the word and prayer. The word giveth a warrant and direction for the use of it: prayer both seasoneth it, and procureth a blessing upon it.

3. That they may have children, and those such as may be heirs of salvation, and live in this world to their own and others good: that they may be comely and well proportioned children: nor idiots in understanding, nor monsters in bodily shape, nor yet lewd and infamous in their lives: which could not but be a grief to their parents, and might also open the mouths of the wicked against them.

4. That God would give them competency of this worlds goods, and other good means well to nourish, nurture, and place forth their children: and a sufficiency for the maintenance of their family, and of that estate wherein God setteth them.

5. That such needful gifts and graces as are wanting in either of them may be wrought: and such vices and infirmities as they are subject unto may be redressed.

These and many other like things give occasion to man and wife in special manner to pray one for another, and one with another.

§. 20. Of husbands and wives hateful imprecations and wishes one against another.

Contrary to that holy and heavenly duty of prayer are those direful and hellish imprecations and execrations, which ordinarily do pass out of the mouths of many husbands and wives against one another (and that many times for very light occasions) cursing the day that ever they knew one another, and wishing that one of them had been under the ground before they came together. Most odious are these and such like execrations in any man's mouth, but more then most odious in the mouth of man and wife against one another.

Many who for outward shame for bear to belch forth such • rotten stinking speech, make small conscience of wishing the like in their hearts. If an husband be any whit harsh, and a wife shrewish: or if through sickness, or any other like occasion they seem burdensome each to other: or if any dislike of one arise in the heart of the other: or if their hearts be set upon others: or if the suruiuor be to carry away the goods and • ands, their hearts will be filled with a thousand wishes of one another's death. Yea, many times such as have very good husbands or wives, without any show of reason (only through an inward corrupton of their heart, and malicious instigation of Satan, not taking notice of their own good) are ready to wish they were in heaven: making thereby a pretence of their eternal bliss to whom they so wish, whereas indeed their only desire is to be loosed and freed from them. God oft meets with such wicked wishers (whereby he showeth how hateful such wishes are to him) for sometimes according to their wish he taketh away good husbands and wives from those that are evil: and when they are gone he maketh their loss to be so sensibly felt, as those ungodly wishers do, (as we speak) in every vein of their heart repent them of their rash wishes. Yea, to aggravate their wretchedness the more, he giveth them such crabbed and perverse husbands and wives in the room and stead of those good ones (for seldom comes a better) as they are forced with many deep sighs and groans to wish (but all in vain) their former wives and husbands alive again, and so to verify the proverb, A good thing is not so well discerned by enjoying, as by wanting it. Sometimes again God in anger crosseth their wishes, and first taketh away the wishers of others death: or else prolongeth the life of both to their greater vexation.

§. 21. Of husbands and wives neglect of mutual prayer.

The very neglect of mutual prayer in husbands and wives for each other is also a sin contrary to the forenamed duty of prayer: whereof if all that are guilty were as well known to man as to God, how many unkind husbands and wives careless of one another's good would be noted, more then are? Rare are those husbands and wives, that have their seasons to pray alone together one with another, if ever they pray one for another. Though in outward complements they may seem very kind, and in the outward things of this world, very provident, yet if they pray not one for another, they are neither kind, nor provident. Heartie, fervent, frequent prayer is the greatest token of kindness, and best part of providence that can be.

§. 22. Of husbands and wives mutual care for one another's salvation.

From the general duty of prayer which is profitable to all things, I come to the particular branches of man and wives mutual provident care: and will first begin with that which is first to be sought, the good of one another's soul: which the Apostle intimateth to be a thing to be sought after, where he saith, What knowest thou, ô wife, whether thou shalt SAVE thine husband, or what knowest thou, ô man, whether thou shalt SAVE thy wife? S. Peter enjoineth wives to do their endeavor to win their husbands: and S. Paul setteth before husbands the pattern of Christ's love, which had especial respect to the soul and the salvation thereof: so as this is a mutual duty appertaining to them both, which S. Peter further implieth where he styleth them coheirs of the grace of life.

It is the greatest good that one can possibly do for another, to be a means of helping forward his salvation. And there is nothing that can more soundly and firmly knit the heart of one to another, then to be a means thereof.

§. 23. Of husbands and wives care to win one the other, when one of them is not called.

That the salvation of the soul may be the better effected, respect must be had to the present and particular estate of husband or wife. If one be a believer the other not, the believer must use all the means that may be, to draw on the other also to believe. If both be believers, their mutual care must be to • edify one another in their most holy faith.

For the first, it is the main drift of S. Peters exhortation to believing wives, about their conversation, to draw on their unbelieving husbands to the true faith. His phrase (that they may be won or gained) as in general it hath respect to their souls salvation, so in particular to their first conversion. Now if this duty appertain to a wife, much more to an husband, who is appointed an head to his wife, and a Saniour. To this end doth S. Paul advise believing husbands and wives that are married to unbelievers, to dwell with them.

For what a woeful thing is it, that two which in this world are so nearly linked together as to make one flesh, should in the world to come be so far separated one from another, as heaven is from hell. This indeed shall so fall out in many: for Christ hath expressly foretold it, that of two that were in one • ed together (who are more fitly set forth under this phrase then man and wife, who most usually are styled bedfellows?) • ne shall be taken (to mercy and glory) the other shall be forsaken or left to endless and easeless torture and torment.) But though it be foretold that thus it shall fall out with many a • ouple, yet our care must be, and that with our uttermost power, to prevent it, as in our selves, so in our bedfellow.

If it please the Lord to give such a blessing to the endeavor of an husband or wife, as to be a means of the conversion of their bedfellow, then will the party converted both entirely love the other, and also heartily bless God (as there is just cause) that ever they were so nearly linked together.

This duty of winning one another, is to be applied to such as are married not only to plain infidels, but also to Papists or other like Idolaters, to Atheists, or any other profane persons, to heretics, separatists, schismatiques, or any that believe not aright.

§. 24. Of husbands and wives edifying one another.

The second duty tending to the souls salvation is, that two believers being married together, they endeavor mutually to build up one another more and more. One Christian oweth this duty to another: much more man and wife. Take heed (saith the Apostle) that no man fall away from the grace of God. If no man, then nor wife nor husband.

A spiritual edifying of one another is the best use which we can make (and ought to make) of those joints and bonds whereby we are knit one to another. By virtue of them the body (namely the mystical body of Christ) receiveth increase to the edifying of it self, and increaseth with the increase of God. Now the bond of marriage being of all other the firmest, and that whereby we are nearest knit together, by virtue of what bond should we edify one another, if not by virtue of the marriage bond?

§. 25. Of husbands and wives hindering sin one in another.

Two things are requisite unto spiritual edification.

One respecteth the hindrances of growth in grace.

The other the helps thereof.

The hindrances of grace are all manner of sins. Sin to grace is as water to fire: it slaketh the heat of it, and if without hoe it be poured on it, it will clean put it out. In regard hereof there ought to be a mutual care in husbands and wives, both to prevent sin before it be committed, and also to make what redress they can after it is committed.

That it is a mutual duty for husbands and wives so much as they can, to prevent sin one in another is evident, by that reason which the Apostle useth, to keep them from defrauding one another, in these words, that Satan tempt you not. For out of the scope and matter of those words, this general doctrine may be gathered, Husbands and wives ought to be careful to keep one another from the temptations of Satan, that is, from sin, whereunto all his temptations tend. Rebekah performed the duty of a good wife in keeping Isaac from blessing Esau: which if he had done, he had sinned against God's express word. Though she failed in the manner of doing it, yet her end was good.

As that love they owe one to another, so that care which they ought to have of themselves requireth as much, for sin provoketh God's wrath, his wrath sendeth down vengeance, that vengeance which falleth on the husband can hardly miss the wife, or that the husband, which falleth on the wife; and that by reason of their near union: though it fall not on both their pates, yet it cannot but much affect, and even afflict the party that escapeth. The wives of those rebels who were swallowed up quick in the wilderness, perished in like manner with their husbands. For they who are so near as husbands and wives, and do not what they can to prevent one another's sins, make themselves accessory thereto.

For the better effecting of this duty, husbands and wives must be watchful over one another, and observe what sins either of them are given unto, or what occasions are offered to draw either of them into sin. If either of them be choleric or prone to be angry on a sudden, the other must endeavor to take away all occasions of offense: and if both should be testie and hasty to wrath, when the one seeth the other first moved, the party whose passion is not yet stirred, ought the rather to be settled and composed to all meekness and patience, lest, if both together be provoked, the whole household be set on fire. If either of them be given to drunkenness, covetousness, or any other sin, the other ought by wise and gentle persuasions to keep them (as much as they can) from those sins. Yea they may also get others, that are discreet and able, to dissuade them: or use what other good means they can to that purpose.

§. 26. Of husbands and wives redressing sin in one another.

When either husband or wife is fallen into any sin, a mutual duty it is for the other, to use what redress may be of that sin: as if one of them were wounded, the other must take care for the healing of that wound. Abigail performed her duty in this kind, when, after she had heard what churlish entertainment her husband gave to David's servants, she hastened to carry store of provision to David, and humbled her self before him, and so moved David to asswage his wrath: yea she took a seasonable time also to tell her husband his fault, and the danger whereinto he brought himself thereby.

More directly, and with better success did Jacob redress the superstition, or rather Idolatry of his wife Rachel, as may

A brother at large must not suffer sin to lie on his brother: much less may husband or wife the one upon the other.

Thou shalt not hate thy brother (saith the law) and suffer sin to lie on him. To do this then is a token and fruit of hatred. If an husband should see his wife, or a wife her husband lying in the fire, or water, ready to be burnt or drowned, and not afford their best help to pull them out, might they not justly be thought to hate them? But sin is as fire and water, which will burn and drown men in perdition.

This duty may be performed by meek instructions, pithy persuasions, gentle reproofs: yea, and by the help of some good Minister, or other discreet and faithful friend.

§. 27. Of husbands and wives helping forward the growth of grace in each other.

Hitherto of preventing, and redressing hindrances of grace. Hereunto must be added an helping forward of the growth thereof: which man and wife must mutually endeavor to effect one in another. The care which Elkanah had to carry his wives along with himself unto the Tabernacle of the Lord year by year, showeth that his desire was to uphold them in the fear of God: yea the gifts and portions, which at that time he used to bestow on them, imply the care that he had to encourage them to hold on in serving the Lord. It was without question the main end which the Shunamite aimed at in providing lodging for the Prophet, that both she and her husband might be built up in Grace.

This duty may be the better effected by these means following.

1. By taking notice of the beginning, and least measure of Grace: and approving the same.

2. By frequent conference about such things as concern the same: mutually propounding questions one to another thereabouts, and answering the same.

3. By their mutual practice and example: making themselves each to other a pattern of piety.

4. By performing exercises of religion, as praying, singing psalms, reading the word, and the like together.

5. By maintaining holy and religious exercises in the family. Though this duty especially appertain to the husband, yet the wife must put her husband in mind thereof, if he forget it; and stir him up, if he be backward: Thus did the good Shunamite, 2 King. 4. 9, 10. No man's persuasion in this kind, can so much prevail with a man as his wives.

6. By stirring up one another to go to the house of God, to hear the word, partake of the Sacrament, and conscionably perform all the parts of God's public worship.

Great need there is, that husbands and wives should endeavor to help forward the growth of grace in each other, because we are all so prone to fall away and wax cold, even as water if the fire go out, and more fuel be not put under. And of all other, husbands and wives may be most helpful herein, because they can soonest espy the beginning of decay by reason of their near, and continual familiarity together.

§. 28. Of the sins of husbands and wives contrary to a mutual care of one another's salvation.

The vices contrary to that general mutual duty of husbands and wives in procuring the Salvation of one another, and to the particular branches comprised under it, are many: As

1. A careless neglect thereof: when as husbands and wives so mind earthly things, as they think it enough if they be provident one for another in the things of this life. Hereof most that live in this earth are guilty: and among others, even many of them who have the name of very good and kind husbands and wives. But whatsoever the opinion of others be of them, the truth is, that if they fail in this point, they go no further then the very heathen have done, and their kindness may be as the apes kindness, which causeth death.

2. The unworthy walking, and unchristian carriage of a believer that is married to one that believeth not: hereby the unbeliever is kept off from embracing the Gospel, and made the more to dislike and detest it. If a popish or profane husband be married to a wife that maketh profession of the truth of the Gospel, and she be stout, proud, wanton, waspish, wasteful, or given to any other like vices, will he not be ready thereupon to inveigh against the religion she professeth, and utterly protest against it? So also a popish or profane wife, if she be married to such an husband.

3. Negligence in observing one another's disposition or conversation: whereby it cometh to pass that they keep not back, nor restrain one another from running into any sin: but prove such husbands and wives one to another as Eli proved a father to his sons: whence it fell out, that God's severe vengeance fell upon the neck of the one, and of the other. Pilate's wife though an heathenish woman, shall rise up in judgment against many such wives, for she did what she could to keep her husband from shedding innocent blood.

4. Acomplement all soothing of one another's humor, and seeking mutually to please one another in all things, without respect of good or evil. Such as these the Scripture termeth men-pleasers. Hence it cometh to pass that husbands and wives are so far from drawing one another from sin, that the better rather yields unto the worse, and both run into evil, as Adam was persuaded by his wife to transgress against God's express charge: and wise Solomon was drawn by his wives unto Idolatry, 1 King. 11. 4. and Sapphira consented to the sacrilege of Ananias her husband, Act. 5. 2.

5. An undue fear of offending one another by Christian instruction, admonition, reproof, and the like. Many who are oft moved in conscience to make known to their husbands and wives the sins wherein they live, and the danger wherein they lie by reason thereof, do notwithstanding through careless and causeless fear, refrain and forbear to do so.

6. An impious, and envious disposition, whereby many husbands and wives are moved to mock, and scoff at that holy zeal, and forwardness which they observe in their bedfellows: as Michal who resembled David to a fool, or vain-fellow, because he manifested his zeal by dancing before the Ark. Thus do many nip the work of the spirit in the very bud, and cause grace soon to wither. But cursed be that husband, or wife, that thus perverteth the main end of their near conjunction.

§. 29. Of husbands and wives mutual care over one another's body.

After the good of the soul followeth the good of the body, wherein husband and wife must show their provident care each over other: and do what lieth in them to procure the well-fare of one another's person, and to nourish and cherish one another's body. This duty the Apostle layeth down under the comparison of a body which he calleth flesh, saying, No man hateth his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it: now man and wife are one flesh. This duty the Apostle in particular applieth to husbands. At the first institution of marriage it was in particular applied to the wife, whom God made to be an help meet for man: so as it is a mutual duty appertaining to both. It seemeth that Rebecha was so careful of Isaac in this respect, that she could readily make sauory meat for him, such as he loved.

This duty extendeth it self to all estates both of prosperity and adversity, of health and sickness: for so much do they mutually covenant and promise when they are first joined together in marriage, I take thee (saith each to other) for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health to love and to cherish. Wherefore they ought mutually both to rejoice in the well-fare of one another, and also in all distress to succor and comfort each other, putting their shoulders under one another's burden, and helping to ease one another as much as they can. That which Solomon said of a friend and a brother, may fitly be applied in this case to husband and wife, a friend loveth at all times, and a brother is borne for adversity, that is, a trusty and faithful friend is constant in his goodwill, and ready to perform all duties, of kindness at any time, whether it be prosperity or adversity: the change of outward estate maketh no alteration in his loving affection and friendly carriage: yea he seemeth to be as it were borne and brought forth against the time of trouble and affliction, because then is his provident care and tender affection most manifested. Of all friends none ought to be more careful, none more faithful one to another then man and wife. How then ought they to love at all times, and if any trial come to either of them, the other so to carry himself, as it may be truly said they were joined together for adversity?

Thus shall they verify the truth of that whereby God was moved to creare of mankind male, and female, namely that it was not good for man to be alone, but that it was rather good, that is, needful, profitable, and comfortable for man and woman to be together. In which respect the wise-man saith, he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing; and by the rule of relation we may infer, she that findeth an husband findeth a good thing.

§. 30. Of husbands and wives backwandnesse to help one another in time of need.

Contrary to this duty is a certain unnatural affection in sundry husbands and wives, who much grudge to provide the things that are needful for one another. The man commonly thinks the charge too great, the woman thinks the pains too much: they are affected one to another as if they were mere strangers: nay many strangers will be more ready to perform, and more cheerful in performing needful duties (as occasion is offered) then such unnatural husbands and wives. If a little sickness, or other like cross fall on one of them, the other thinks, never any had such a burden; and by their discontent make the burden much more heavy then otherwise it would be: even as when two oxen are in one yoke, and the one holdeth back, the draught is made much harder to the other. Thus do they pervert one of the principal ends of marriage, which is to be a continual comfort and help each to other, and to ease the burdens of one another: in which respect they are made yoke-fellows. Job's wife by her unnatural carriage towards him in his affliction did much aggravate his misery: when he stood in most need of her help, she afforded least unto him: it appears by Job's complaint of her, in these words, my breath is strange to my wife, that she altogether neglected him in his misery. The common speech of many after their husband or wife having long lien sick is departed, bewrayeth their unnatural affection: their speech is this, if my husband (or wife) had died so much sooner I had saved so much money. What doth this intimate but that they could have been contented their husband (or wife) should have died sooner that they might have spared the more.

§. 31. Of Husbands and Wives mutual respect of one another's good name.

The provident care of husbands and wives ought further to extend it self to the credit and good name of one another. As dear ought the good name of the wife be unto the husband, and of the husband to the wife, as their own. The great regard that Joseph had of the credit of Marie his espoused wife, made him think of putting her away privily when • e observed her to be with child and knew not of whom: • or he was not willing to make her a public example. The • ame respect moved Bathsheba to send secretly to David, and • ell him that she was with child. The commendation which he good husband ( noted by Solomon) giveth of his wife being approved by the holy Ghost, showeth how man and wife •• aght in that respect to honor each other: and that on good • ounds. For

1. A good name is a most precious thing: better then pre • ious ointment, which giveth a sweet savor, and to be chosen • oue great riches.

2. So nearly are husbands and wives joined together, the good name of the one cannot but tend to the honor and credit of the other; so that herein they seek their own honor also.

§. 32. Of husbands and wives preventing each others discredit.

For direction herein, consider we how this duty may be performed, and how it may be manifested.

For the better performing of it, care must be had both to prevent and redress an ill name, and also to procure and preserve a goodname.

To prevent an ill name respect must be had of these three things following,

• 1. What one relateth of another, and how.
• 2. What ear they give to things related by others.
• 3. What censure they give of one another.

For the first, husbands and wives may in no case delight to discover unto others, and spread abroad the infirmities, and imperfections of one another, or anything that may tend to the discredit of either of them: but rather cover and conceal them as much as they may with a good conscience. It is expressed that Joseph being a just man labored to conceal that blemish which he imagined to be in his wife, so as this may stand with justice: yea also it is a part of Jove, for love covereth a multitude of sins.

For the second, husbands and wives must not have their ears wide opened to hear every tale and report that shall be brought to one against the other, but rather show themselves displeased and offended with them that are ready to relate things of evil report. If an husband or wife manifest a willingness to hearken after tales and reports of one another, the devil will stir up instruments enow to fill their heads with tales, and those for the most part both frivolous and forged: not only strangers, but children, servants, and they which are of the same family will ever be telling some tale or other, to currie favor, as we speak. But an utter dislike of such flattering tale-bearers, will take away occasion from them of telling untrue, or slight reports.

For the third, the judgment and censure which husbands and wives give one of another must either be very charitable, or very sparing. If one hear reported any notorious crime of the other, they may not be over-heady or hasty to judge and condemn, no though they think they see some evidence thereof, but rather suspend their judgment. This seemeth to be the mind of Joseph: though he observed Marie to be with child, yet would he not presently judge her to be a notorious adulteress, or condemn her for an hypocrite, unworthy to live, and therefore would not make her a public example.

In brief, that husbands and wives may be the more sparing in censuring one another, they must not rashly believe any evil report of one another, but rather suppress all light suspicions as much as they can.

That the judgment which they give one of another, may be charitable, in judging they must well observe the properties of love, which are 1. To interpret doubtful things in the better part. 2. To mitigate, so far as truth and justice will suffer, the faults which are evident. Michal offended against the first in an high degree, and was cursed. Abigail observed the latter, and was blessed.

§. 33. Of the wisdom of husbands and wives, in redressing one another's ill name.

To redress an ill name, husbands and wives must first give one another notice of the report that goeth of them, and endeavor to work in them both a sight, and also a sense of those evils which are in the mouths of others: after notice given, they must labor to bring them to repentance of those sins, for which they are ill reported of, and to a manifestation of repentance, by doing things meet for repentance, which is by a zealous and conscionable practice of such vettues as are clean contrary to the vices for which they were evil spoken of. It may with good probability be gathered out of the history of the Levite, whose wife plaid the whore, that thus he dealt with her. And thus Abigail endeavored to deal with her husband.

§. 34. Of husbands and wives care in procuring one another's good name.

To procure a good report, husbands and wives must First, take notice of the good qualities which are in one another, and as one hath occasion to speak of the other, to make those good qualities the subject of their speech: as we heard it before commended in the husband of that wife which is described by Solomon.

Secondly, they must lend a willing and joyful ear to such as shall (so far as they can conceive) truly and unfeignedly, without flattery or hypocrisy, speak anything in commendation of the one or of the other: not thinking themselves dispraised (which is the conceit of many) when their bed-fellow is praised: but rather having their hearts the more enlarged to praise God, for bestowing on them such an excellent token and pledge of his favor.

Thirdly, they must imitate those good things which they behold, or hear to be in one another, and so imitate them as they which have before time known both husband and wife, may say, this she learned of him, or this he learned of her.

§. 35. Of husbands and wives wisdom, in preserving each others good name.

To preserve a good name, it will be meet for an husband or wife, wisely and seasonably to give one another notice of that good fame which is raised of them, thereby to provoke them both to give glory to God for the same ( as the Apostle thanketh God for that report which was spread abroad of the faith and love of the Colossians) and also to walk worthy of that good report (as the Apostle who had given a great testimony of the bounty of the Corinthians, earnestly exhorteth them to finish their benevolence, lest (saith he) I should be ashamed in this my constant boasting.) For if they of whom there is once a good report raised, decay, wax cold, grow backward, or fall into notorious and scandalous sins, they will clean extinguish and put out their good name among men, and turn it into an evil report, according to that which Solomon saith, Dead flies cause the ointment of the Apothecary to sendforth a stinking savor: so doth a little folly him that is in reputation for wisdom and honor.

§. 36. Of husbands and wives like affection towards one another's credit.

In the last place, to manifest a mutual provident care of one another's good name, husbands and wives must be so affected with the report that goeth of either of them, as if the report were of their own selves. If the report be good, to be glad thereof, and to rejoice thereat; if it be evil, to be grieved, and after an holy manner vexed at it: thus shall they show a true sympathy and fellow feeling of one another's credit, according to that general rule of the Apostle, Rejoice with them that rejoice, and weep with them that weep.

§. 37. Of the vices contrary to that mutuallcare, which man and wife should have of one another's credit.

Vices contrary to these duties concerning the good name of an husband and wife, are in general two.

One is a readiness to disgrace and discredit one another, like Michal the wife of David, of whom we heard before. A hateful and detestable vice this is, which cannot stand with true matrimonial love, but rather argueth an utter dislike, and a plain hatred of one another.

Husbands and wives discredit one another, either by procuring an ill name, or hindering a good name.

An ill name in procured by these means following.

1. By blazing abroad one another's infirmities: as when tattling Gossips meet, their usual pra • e is about their husbands, complaining of some vice or other in them: My husband, saith one, is covetous: I cannot get of him anything almost: he maketh me go as nobody goeth. And my husband, replieth another, is so furious as none can tell how to speak to him: so one after another goeth on in this track, some discovering such infirmities as should be concealed; others (which is worse) plainly belying their husbands. In like manner also husbands when they meet with their boone companions, make their wives the common subject of all their talk: one accusing his wife of one vice; another his, of another. There are two respects for which this vice (most detestable in it self) is made more odious in an husband or a wife. 1. Because they know more then any other of one another's infirmities: so as if they be so evilly minded, they may much more discredit one another, then any other can. 2. Because in regard of their near union they are most bound to conceal and cover each others imperfections. Cam was cursed for revealing his fathers nakedness. but a more horrible curse do husbands and wives deserve, that so do.

2. By opening their ears, and giving credit to every light report that any shall raise. More secret heart-burning of one against the other, and more open quarrels and contentions betwixt them, ordinarily arise from hence then from any other thing.

3. By perverting and mis-interpreting one another's actions, words, yea and thoughts also: taking everything in the worst part.

4. By concealing from one another the common evil rumors which are raised of them, and are in every man's mouth: of all other, bedfellows are most fit to disclose such things one to another: and most bound to do it. Most fit, because of their mutual familiarity: most bound, because of their near union.

Many husbands and wives do hinder one another's good name by envying one at the good report that is made of the other, and gainsaying the same: as if the credit of the one must needs turn to the discredit of the other. Thus as water quencheth hot iron, so this envious disposition is a means to extinguish the heat of fame, and to put out the glorious light of a good name. Whereby as they impair the credit and honor of one another, so they monstrously discredit and dishonor themselves.

The other general vice in this kind, is a careless regard, or plain neglect of one another's fame: when the husband is no way affected with any report that goeth of his wife, nor the wife with any of the husband: but as if they were mere strangers one to another, they pass by all reports made of one another. What mutual love can there be in such? howsoever their hands have been joined together, surely their hearts were never united, so as it had been better they had never known one another, unless the Lord do afterwards knit their hearts, and unite their affections more nearly and firmly together.

§. 38. Of husbands and wives mutual providence about the goods of the family.

Yet there remaineth one thing more, whereabout husbands and wives ought to manifest a mutual provident care each over other: and that is about the goods of this world. Howsoever the husband, while he liveth with his wife, hath the truest property in them, and the greatest title unto them, yet I refer this to those mutual duties which man and wife owe each to other, in three respects.

First, because in conscience they appertain to the use of the wife, as well as of the husband.

Secondly, because the wife is by God's providence appointed a joint governor with the husband of the family, and in that respect ought to be an help in providing such a sufficiency of the goods of this world, as are needful for that estate wherein God hath set them, and for that charge which God hath committed to them.

Thirdly, because the wife, if she suruiue the husband, ought to have such a portion of those goods, as are meet for her place and charge.

In these respects we see it requisite, yea a bounden duty, that husband and wife, even in a mutual regard one of another, be as provident as they can be with a good conscience in getting, keeping, and disposing competent goods and riches for the mutual good one of another. Concerning the husbands duty in this respect no question is made: the practice of all good husbands mentioned in Scripture, the care of providing for their own enjoined to them, their place and office to be their wives head, with many other like arguments, whereof we shall more distinctly speak, when we come to declare the particular duties of husbands, do prove as much. The greatest question is concerning the wife, whether she be bound to take any care about the goods. But if the Scripture be though • owly searched, we shall find proof enough to show that even • he also is bound hereunto. For first, the general end which God aimed at in making the woman (namely to be an help • o man) implieth as much: for herein may she be a very great help, as we shall see by and by in sundry particulars. 2. That general property attributed to a wife to be a good thing, confirmeth as much: for that which is profitable is called good: and it is one respect wherein a wife is termed a good thing, that she may by her providence and diligence bring much profit to her husband: and therefore in this, among other respects, the good wife which Solomon describeth, is said to do good to her husband all the days of her life: for by her industry and providence she did so preserve and increase his goods, that the heart of her husband trusted in her, and he had no need of spoil. If the particular actions whereby that good wife is described be well noted, we may easily observe that she was an especial help unto her husband, even in his outward estate. From all which, we may infer these two points. First, that this provident care about outward temporal goods is lawful, not unbeseeming a Christian man or woman. Secondly, that it is a mutual duty appertaining both to husband and wife.

For the first, how needful the goods of this world are for preservation of life and health, estate of the family, good of Church and Common-wealth, relief of the poor, with the like uses, no man can be ignorant. God hath given them as blessings to his children, and that often times in great abundance; and his children have accordingly been thankful for them: so as a provident care about them is not unlawful, but very expedient and needful.

For the second, If there should not be a joint care herein, the care and pains of the one might be altogether in vain. For suppose an husband be industrious, as Jacob was, and get much abroad, if the wife either by her unthriftiness, idleness, negligence, or the like vices, suffer that which is brought home to be embeaseled and wasted; or by her prodigality, bravery, or love of vain company, consume it her self, where will be the profit of the husbands pains? Or on the other side, if a wife should be as painful and prosperous in getting, as the good housewife before mentioned was, and the husband by carding, dicing, drinking, revelling, or other like means should waste all away, what fruit would remain of the wives providence? In this mutual provident care of husband and wife, each of them must have an eye to their own place: affairs abroad do most appertain to the man, and are especially to be ordered by him: that which the wife is especially to care for, is the business of the house: for the Apostle layeth it down as a rule for wives (as we shall hereafter more particularly declare) that they keep at home, and govern the house. By this means may they be very profitable each to other.

§. 39. Of the vices contrary to the good providence of husband and wife, about the goods of the family.

Contrary to that duty, are these vices following.

1. Covetousness, and overmuch care for themselves: as when an husband so raketh, and scrapeth, and hoordeth up for himself, as he neither affordeth unto his wife so much as is meet for her place while he liveth with her, nor thinketh of providing sufficient maintenance for her, if she over-live him, but rather thinketh how to defraud her of that which the law casteth upon her. Or when a wife secretly hoordeth up whatsoever she can get, either by her own industry, or else by purloining from her husband: sometimes selling corn, wares, household-stuff, or other like commodities, so privily as the husband shall never know it: sometimes taking money out of his counter, box, bag, chest, or the like, so as either it shall not be missed, or if it be, it shall not be known who had it. Many there be who in mistrust of their husbands providence, or in dislike of them, or on some other by-respects, commit whatsoever they can get to the trust and custody of others, whereby it oft cometh to pass, that they themselves, meeting with deceitful friends, are utterly defeated, even because they dare not make their fraud known. As Covetousness is in it self an odious sin; so it is made much more heinous by defrauding husband or wife, who ought to be as dear each to other as themselves.

2. Prodigality, and too lavish spending upon themselves, and those things which are most agreeable to their own corrupt humor: as when husbands without any mean or mea • ure, spend their goods abroad in hunting, hawking, carding, • icing, eating, drinking, or the like, and suffer their wives to want at home, and yet took their wives to maintain them, and therefore had their portion. Or when wives bring their husbands into debt, and weaken, if not clean overthrow their estate, by gorgeous decking and adorning their houses, by brave and costly apparel, by dainty fare, by gossipping abroad, with the like. Many wives are so violent herein, that if their desire and humor be not satisfied, their husbands shall have no rest (forsooth they brought a portion, and maintained they must and will be; it skilleth not whether their husbands estate can bear it or no) in so much as many are forced wittingly, for quietness sake, to suffer their estate to sink. O foolish and wretched wives! how little do they consider that they were married to do their husbands good, and not evil all the days of their life? is this to be an help to man? or rather is it not clean to thwart God's counsel, and pervert his purpose? can we think that God will forbear, and not be avenged of them? yet much more will God be avenged of the forenamed husbands, because of that image of himself which he hath placed in them, and because of that place and authority wherein he hath set them. The Apostle expressly saith of them, that they are worse then Infidels, which being so, they must look for the greater judgment.

3. Idleness, and a careless neglect of their estate. Many men spend day after day, like a bird that flieth up and down, as it falleth out, from tree to tree, from twig to twig: they go from place to place, but know not for what end: as they meet with any company, so they abide as long as the company tarrieth, and then seek after other company, and are ready to go with any to Ale-house, Tavern, Play-house, Bowlingalley, or other like places. Many women also spend all the forenoon in lying a bed and tyring themselves, and the afternoon as occasion is offered in sitting idly at home, or walking forth to little purpose, but only to wear out time, little regarding their husbands estate, whether it increase, or diminish. Thus by the idleness and carelessness of husband and wife, come fair estates many times to ruin, and both of then brought to penury and beggary.

§. 40. Of husbands and wives joint care in governing the family.

Hitherto I have delivered such common duties as mutually respect the husband and wife, and are to be performed of each to other. There are other common duties which they are both jointly bound to perform to other persons: and those either members of the family, or strangers coming to the family.

Concerning the members of the family, though there be some peculiar duties belonging to the master, and some to the mistress, some to the father, and some to the mother, of which we shall speak in their due place; yet in general the government of the family, and the several members thereof belongeth to the husband and wife both (if at least they have a family) and a joint common duty it is to be helpful one to another therein.

Object. Seeing it is not necessarily required, that a husband and wife should have a family to govern, for two may be married and have neither children nor servants (as many are) and yet be true husband and wife; why is this care of a family ranked among the duties of husband and wife?

Answ. 1. Because ordinarily when two are married they gather a family, and are the governors thereof: so as though it fail in some particulars, yet for the most part it holdeth.

2. Because the joint government whereof I speak in this place is by virtue of the marriage-bond: for if a man and a woman should live together in an house, and by mutual consent have a joint authority and government, this would be very offensive to all that should know it, or hear of it: neither were they by any ordinance of God bound to be so helpful one to another as husband and wife: nor the members of a family so bound to subject themselves to both.

3. The duty whereof I speak, though it be about the government of a family, yet hath it respect to an husband as he is an husband, and to a wife as she is a wife; namely, that by virtue of their marriage-bond, and near union, they be helpful one to another in well-ordering the things of the family.

Whether the man ought to look to the good government of his house is a question without all question. He is the highest in the family, and hath both authority over all, and the charge of all is committed to his charge: he is as a king in his own house: as a king is to see that land well governed where he is king, so he that is the chief ruler in an house. The duty which the Apostle applieth in particular to Bishops & Deacons, in general appertaineth to all husbands, that they rule their own house honestly: and again, that they be such as can rule their children well, and their own households. The care of many husbands is in this respect commended in Scripture, as of Abram, of Jacob, of Joshua, of David, the Ruler at Galilee, and of many other. That the wife also ought to be an help to him therein, is very evident: for the Apostle layeth it expressly to their charge, that they govern the house: would the Wise man have so highly commended a wife for well governing her husbands house if it had not appertained to her? It is very likely that wise Abigail had a great hand in governing Nabal's house, because the servants made complaint to her of Nabal's churlishness, and because she had the servants at command, readily to do what she would have them; yea also, because she could so readily prepare such store of provision for David and his men, as she did. Hence is it that the wife is called mistress of the house, as well as the husband master of the house.

Object. A woman is not to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man.

Answ. 1. That branch of teaching hath respect to public assemblies, and Churches, in which she may not teach: but not to private families, in which she may, and ought to teach: for Barthshebah taught Solomon. When Apollos was brought to the house of Aquila, Priscilla the wife of Aquila did help to expound to Apollos the way of God more perfectly.

2. The other branch concerning authority, hath not reference to the inferior members in the family, over which the wife of an household governor hath authority, but only to the husband, over whom if she take any authority, she usurpeth it. Therefore neither this place of Scripture, nor any other doth exclude the wife, being jointly considered with the husband, to rule & govern those in the family which are under them both.

2. Object. This joint government of the wife doth much impair the dignity and authority of the husband.

Answ. Nothing less: for she is subordinate to her husband, and must so rule others as she be subject to her husband, and not command anything against his command, (provided that his command be not against the Lord, and his word.) We see that in all estates the king or highest governor hath other Magistrates under him, who have a command over the subjects, and yet thereby the kings supreme authority is no whit impaired, but rather the better established, and he the more honored. So is it in a family.

Let therefore husbands and wives herein assist one another, for so they may be very helpful one to another, and bring, by their mutual help in governing, much good to the family. The husband by his help aiding his wife, addeth much authority unto her, and so causeth that she is not despised, nor lightly esteemed. The wife by her help causeth many things to be espied, and so redressed, which otherwise might never have been found out: for two eyes see more then one, especially when one of those is more at hand, and in presence, as the wife is in the house.

Besides there are many things in well governing a family more fit for one to meddle withal then for the other: as for the husband to meddle with the great and weighty affairs of the family (as performing God's worship, appointing and settling good orders, providing convenient house-room, and other necessaries for the family: keeping children when they grow great, or wax stubborn, in awe: ruling men servants, with the like) And for the wife to meddle with some less, but very needful matters, as nourishing and instructing children when they are young, adorning the house, ordering the provision brought into the house, ruling maid servants, with the like. Yea further, as the man especially is to perform the very actions of prayer, reading the word, catechizing, and other like duties in the family, so the wife may be a great help in putting her husband in mind both of the duty it self, and of the time of performing it, and encouraging him to do it, in gathering the family together, and exhorting them to be forward, in making her self an example to the rest by her diligent and reverend attention, in oft urging and pressing to her children and servants such points of instruction as her husband hath taught; yea, in praying, reading, teaching, and performing like exercises her self, so far as she is able, when her husband is absent, or negligent and careless, and will not himself do them; or it may be, is not able to do them: or if she perform them not her self, in getting some other to perform them.

§. 41. Of the vices contrary to a joint care of governing the family.

The mind and practice of many, both husbands and wives, is contrary to this duty.

Many a husband because the wives office is especially to abide at home, will put off all government to the wife: leaving it to her not only to order the things in the house, but also to bring in all needful things, to order and govern the children both young and old, yea even to provide for them also, to take in, to put out, to use all sorts of servants as pleaseth her: yea, if servants shall be stubborn and stout against her, he will take no notice of it, nor endure to be told of it, much less afford her his assistance, but suffer her to be disgraced and despised. As for religious duties, he will no way meddle with them. Oh base minded men, unworthy to be husbands and heads of wives! shall your wives who were made to be an help to you, have no help from you, • o not in those things which especially belong to your charge? shall the weaker vessels bear all the burden? Assuredly as the man carrieth away the greatest reputation and honor when a family is well governed (though it be by the joint care and wisdom of his wife) so lieth he most open to the judgment of God if the government thereof be neglected, and through the neglect thereof, children and servants grow impious: instance Eli, and David. For as in a common-wealth, the greatest honor of good government, victorious battles, happy peace, and prosperity, and the greatest dishonor and damage of the contrary, redoundeth to the king, so to the man who is chief governor in a family: for it is presupposed, that all which do any good are instruments of the highest governor: if any evil or mischief fall out, that it is through his negligence.

On the other side, because the husband is the most principal, many wives think that the government of the family nothing at all appertains to them, and thereupon are careless of the good thereof, and will not stir their least finger to order anything aright: but, if anything be amiss, lay all the blame on their husbands. Do not such pervert that main end for which God made them, even to be an help? Do they not carry themselves most unworthy of the place wherein God hath set them, namely to be joint-governors with their husbands, and partakers of their dignities? As by their negligence they make themselves accessory to all the evil which falleth out in the family, so assuredly shall they have their part in those judgments which are executed on the head thereof.

Most contrary to the forenamed duty is the practice of such as are hindrances one to another in governing the family: as when wives are not only negligent themselves in coming to religious exercises, but keep back children and servants, and so are a great grief unto their religious husbands: or when they use any of the children or servants to be instruments of iniquity; or are themselves disquiet and troublesome in the house, like to her of whom Solomon speaketh in this proverb, It is better to dwell in the corner of the house top, then with a contentious woman in a wide house.

Husbands also are oft an hindrance to that good government which their wives would help forward, when they scoff and scorn at that good counsel which their wives give them for that purpose, or when they will not suffer their wives to meddle with anything at all, nor endure that they should find any fault, much less take in hand to redress anything that is amiss. These and such like perverse dispositions are in husbands and wives, whereby it cometh to pass that they who were joined together to be a mutual help each to other, prove heavy, yea intolerable burdens.

§. 42. Of husbands and wives mutual help in hospitality.

The next common duty of husband and wife respecteth such as come to their house, but are no particular members thereof, whether they be kindred, alliance, acquaintance, or strangers, especially if they be Saints, to whom hospitality, that is, a kind and courteous entertainment, is due. Herein therefore must husbands and wives be helpful one to another: for as it is required of husbands, so also of wives to be harborous, namely while they are married, together with their husbands, and when they are widows, of themselves. Abraham and Sarah were herein an help one to another, when the three Angels in shapes of men came to their house: so were the Shunemite and her husband when Elisha the Prophet came to their house.

For hospitality, that it is a commendable duty belonging to such as are house-keepers and able to give entertainment, is evident by the precepts and examples before specified, as also by the blessing which God thereupon hath brought to the houses of them that were given thereunto, which the Apostle intimateth in these words, thereby some have entertained Angels unawares. Now therefore husbands and wives being (as we have heard) joint governors, as in other things, so in this they ought to lend an helping hand each to other, and that for these reasons.

1. Because in giving entertainment there are sundry things to be done, whereof some are proper to the husbands place, and some to the wives. To take order for the provision of things without doors is more fit for the husband, Abraham did it: to order the smaller things within doors is more fit for the wife; that was left to Sarah.

2. Because it is meet that guests should know they are welcome both to the husband and to the wife, that so they may be the more cheerful.

3. Because a mutual consent, and cheerful help herein will be an especial means, as to manifest their mutual affection, so to hold the hearts of man and wife firm and close together, and make them the better like and love one the other: especially if the husband shall show himself as ready and willing to entertain his wives friends and kindred as his own, and so the wife her husbands (as they ought.) For as they themselves are made one flesh, so ought each of them to esteem of the others friends as of their own.

4. Because thus they show a mutual desire of bringing God's blessing on each other, and upon their whole family.

§. 43. Of vices contrary to mutual help in hospitality.

Contrary to this duty is for the most part covetousness in the husband, and lasinesse in the wife. The man, because the charge of the family lieth on him, distrustfully feareth lest he should want for his own.

I deny not but that a provident care for our own, & namely for them of the family, is needful and commendable, he that provideth not for them is worse then an infidel: so as a man may be ouerlauish in giving entertainment, if he go beyond his means, impoverish his estate, and disable himself to provide for his own, as many do: yet when a man hath sufficient, yea and abundance, when there is no just cause, but merely upon an undue fear too carkingly, and distrustfully to pinch, and grudge to give entertaiment to any, is unbeseeming a Christian, yea also to be worse then an infidel; not worthy to have an house, or anything fit for entertainment; no nor worthy of common society.

The woman on the other side grudgeth at the pains she must take, and trouble she must undergo about entertaining guests, and thereupon is loath that any at any time should come to their house.

Concerning a wife, I deny not but that an husband may be in this kind ouerburdensome to her, by being too ioueall, as they speak, and bringing guests too often into the house, especially if they be guests of no good name; and by that means make her even weary of her life: but yet for a wife to refuse all pains in that kind, and to be discontented when her husband invites any friends, or when any come (as the three Angels did to Abraham) unawares, argueth not a loving affection, nor a wiuelike subjection unto her husband, to be in her.

These faults are so much the greater when the husband, or wife, are free and forward in entertaining their own kindred and friends: but are backward, and grudge at the entertainment of each others friends and kindred. Hence commonly ariseth much heart-burning of one against the other: yea much jar and contention betwixt them: and from dislike of the practice of one another in this kind oft followeth a dislike of one another's person: so that as the fault is bad in it self, it proves to be much worse in the mischiefs that follow upon it.

§. 44. Of husbands and wives mutual help in relieving the poor.

The last common and joint duty wherein husband and wife ought to be helpful each to other, respecteth those that are without the house, namely the poor, and such as stand in need of their help, who are to be relieved and succoured. Because man and wife usually meal together, and are joint partakers of God's good creatures, they must put one another in mind of that precept of charity which was given to the Jews when they were at their meals, send part unto them for whom none is provided. The good wife which is set forth by the holy Ghost for a pattern and example unto others to follow, together with her husband, are noted to be helpful one to another in this duty: for she is said to stretch out her hand to the poor, and to the needy: and he is said to praise her, thereby encouraging her to hold on in doing those good things which she did. What liberty the wife hath, or howfar forth she may be restrained in case her husband utterly refuse to give consent, we shall hereafter declare in the particular duties of wives: the point here noted is, that both the husband himself must according to his ability be bountiful to the poor, and suffer his wife, yea provoke her so to be, and withal allow her wherewithal to be bountiful: and that the wife also must stir up her husband to liberality in this respect, and her self open her hand to the poor in the things which lawfully she may give.

There is nothing whereby a man or wife can bring more profit to the house, then by giving to the poor: that which is given to the poor is lent to the Lord, and he will repay it with great increase: it is as seed, which being liberally sown, will bring forth a plentiful harvest: yea, it is a means to make us friends, to speak a good word for us at the bar of Christ's judgment seat: and it bringeth not only the blessing of men, but of God also, even the greatest blessing of all, the blessing of eternal life: for it is a sacrifice with which God is well pleased. The Apostle noteth this to be one of Christ's oracles, which by word of mouth he left unto his Disciples, It is more blessed to give then to receive.

Besides, husbands and wives in distributing alms, may receive good direction one from another: the husband by telling the wife who are fit to be relieved (for commonly husbands better know those which are abroad out of the family) the wife by telling the husband what things are fittest to be given away: for wives commonly know of what things there is greatest store, and what may in the house be best spared.

§. 45. Of husbands and wives unmercifulness to the poor.

Contrarie is the unmercifulness of many husbands, who are not only hard-hearted themselves (never giving anything unless by the law of the land they be forced, & then they part with that which is given, so grudgingly, as it is nothing at all acceptable to God (for God loveth a cheerful giver) but also tie their wives hands, and suffer them to give nothing. Wherein they bring both the cry of the poor, and also the groans and grief of a merciful wife who is thus restrained, upon their own necks, and aggravate their sin in an high degree.

On the other side, the unmercifulness of many wives is also contrary to the forenamed duty: for there are many, who though they have liberty to give of the common goods, and also allowance of their own out of which they may give, yet couetously hoard up all they can get, give not a pennies worth, out rather suffer victuals and other things to perish in the house, and when they are naught to fling them away, then that anything whilst it is good should be given out of the house. Shall not the creatures which are spoiled in an house, and the poor that have wanted, make a loud cry in the ears of the Lord against them? Yea further, many wives are grieved at their husbands bounty, and still moving him to shut his hand, and give no more. Are they not plain devils herein, opposing against that which is good?

§. 1. Of the general heads of this treatise.

I N the particular declaration of wives duties, the Apostle noteth two points,

• 1. The duty required.
• 2. The reason to enforce it.

In setting forth the duty, he declareth

• 1. The matter wherein it consisteth.
• 2. The manner how it is to be performed.

In the matter we may note,

• 1. The thing required, subjection.
• 2. The person whom it respecteth, their own husbands.

To declare the quality of wives subjection to their husbands, two rules are set down.

1. That it be such a subjection, as should be performed to Christ.

2. That it be such a subjection as the Church performeth unto Christ.

The extent of wives subjection doth stretch it self very far, even to all things.

The reason to enforce all these points is taken from that place of eminency and authority, wherein the husband is set above his wife: which is,

1. Propounded under the metaphor of an head (for the husband is the head of the wife.)

2. Amplified by that resemblance which therein he hath unto Christ.

In which resemblance two points are noted.

1. That the husband, by virtue of his place, carrieth the very image of Christ (even as Christ is the head of the Church.)

2. That the husband by virtue of his office is a protector of his wife (and he is the savior of the body.)

§. 2. Of a wives subjection in general.

The first point to be handled in the treatise of wives particular duties is the general matter of all (Subjection) under which all other particulars are comprised, for it hath as large an extent as that Honor which is required in the first commandment, being applied to wives. When first the Lord declared unto woman her duty, he set it down under this phrase, Thy desire shall be subject to thine husband, Gen. 3. 16.

§. 3. Of an husbands superiority over a wife, to be acknowledged by a wife.

The subjection which is required of a wife to her husband implieth two things.

• 1. That she acknowledge her husband to be her superior.
• 2. That she respect him as her superior.

The general is the ground of the particular: for till a wife be informed that an husband, by virtue of his place, is his wives superior, she will not be persuaded that her own husband is above her, or hath any authority over her.

First therefore concerning the general, I will lay down some evident and undeniable proofs, to show that an husband is his wives superior, and hath authority over her. The proofs are these following.

1. God of whom, the powers that be ordained, are, hath power to place his Image in whom he will, and to whom God giveth superiority and authority, the same ought to be acknowledged to be due unto them. But God said of the man to the woman, he shall rule over thee, (Gen. 3. 16.)

2. Nature hath placed an eminency in the male over the female: so as where they are linked together in one yoke, it is given by nature that he should govern, she obey. This did the heathen by light of nature observe.

3. The titles and names, whereby an husband is set forth, do imply a superiority and authority in him, as Lord, (1 Pet. 3. 6.) Master, (Est. 1. 17.) Guide, (Prov. 2. 17.) Head, (1 Cor. 11. 3.) Image and glory of God, (1 Cor. 11. 7.)

4. The persons whom the husband by virtue of his place, and whom the wife by virtue of her place, represent, most evidently prove as much: for an husband representeth Christ, and a wife, the Church, (Eph. 5. 23.)

5. The circumstances noted by the holy Ghost at the woman's creation imply no less, as that she was created after man, for man's good, and out of man's side, (Gen. 2. 18, &c.)

6. The very attire which nature and custom of all times and places have taught women to put on, confirmeth the same: as long hair, veils, and other coverings over the head: this and the former argument doth the Apostle himself use to this very purpose, 1 Cor. 11. 7, &c.

The point then being so clear, wives ought in conscience to acknowledge as much: namely that an husband hath superiority and authority over a wife. The acknowledgement hereof is a main and principal duty, and a ground of all other duties. Till a wife be fully instructed therein and truly persuaded thereof, no duty can be performed by her as it ought: for subjection hath relation to superiority and authority. The very notation of the word implieth as much. How then can subjection be yielded, if husbands be not acknowledged superiors? It may be forced, as one King conquered in battle by another, may be compelled to yield homage to the conqueror, but yet because he still thinketh with himself, that he is no whit inferior, he will hardly be brought willingly to yield a subjects duty to him, but rather expect a time when he may free himself and take revenge of the conqueror.

§. 4. Of a fond conceit, that husband and wife are equal.

Contrary to the forenamed subjection is the opinion of many wives, who think themselves every way as good as their husbands, and no way inferior to them.

The reason whereof seemeth to be that small inequality which is betwixt the husband and the wife: for of all degrees wherein there is any difference betwixt person and person, there is the least disparity betwixt man and wife. Though the man be as the head, yet is the woman as the heart, which is the most excellent part of the body next the head, far more excellent then any other member under the head, and almost equal to the head in many respects, and as necessary as the head. As an evidence, that a wife is to man as the heart to the head, she was at her first creation taken out of the side of man where his heart lieth; and though the woman was at first of the man created out of his side, yet is the man also by the woman. Euer since the first creation man hath been borne and brought forth out of the woman's womb: so as neither the man is without the woman, nor the woman without the man: yea, as the wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband, so the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. They are also heirs together of the grace of life. Besides, wives are mothers of the same children, whereof their husbands are fathers (for God said to both, multiply and increase) and mistresses of the same servants whereof they are masters (for Sarah is called mistress) and in many other respects there is a common equity betwixt husbands and wives; whence many wives gather that in all things there ought to be a mutual equality.

But from some particulars to infer a general is a very weak argument.

1. Doth it follow, that because in many things there is a common equity betwixt Judges of Assise, Justices of peace, and Constables of towns, that therefore there is in all things an equality betwixt them?

2. In many things there is not a common equity: for the husband may command his wife, but not she him.

3. Even in those things wherein there is a common equity, there is not an equality: for the husband hath ever even in all things a superiority: as if there be any difference even in the forenamed instances, the husband must have the stroke: as in giving the name of Rachel's youngest child, where the wife would have one name, the husband another, that name which the husband gave, stood, (Gen. 35. 18.)

Though there seem to be never so little disparity, yet God having so expressly appointed subjection, it ought to be acknowledged: and though husband and wife may mutually serve one another through love: yet the Apostle suffereth not a woman to rule over the man.

§. 5. Of a wives acknowledgement of her own husbands superiority.

The truth and life of that general acknowledgement of husbands honor, consisteth in the particular application thereof unto their own proper husbands.

The next duty therefore is, that wives acknowledge their own husbands, even those to whom by God's providence they are joined in marriage, to be worthy of an husbands honor, and to be their superior: thus much the Apostle intendeth by that particle of restraint ( own) which he useth very often: so likewise doth S. Peter, exhorting wives to be in subjection to their own husbands: and hereunto restraining the commendation of the ancient good wives, that they were in subjection to their own husbands.

§. 6. Of wives denying honor to their own husbands.

Contrary thereunto is a very perverse disposition in some wives, who think they could better subject themselves to any husband, then their own. Though in general they acknowledge that an husband is his wives superior, yet when the application cometh to themselves they fail, and cannot be brought to yield, that they are their husbands inferiors. This is a vice worse then the former. For to acknowledge no husband to be superior over his wife, but to think man and wife in all things equal, may proceed from ignorance of hind, and error of judgment. But for a wife who knoweth and acknowledgeth the general, that an husband is above his wife, to imagine that she her self is not inferior to her husband, ariseth from monstrous self-conceit, and intolerable • rrogancy, as if she her self were above her own sex, and • ore then a woman.

Contrary also is the practice of such women, as purposely • ary men of far lower rank then themselves, for this very end, that they may rule over their own husbands: and of others who being aged, for that end mary youths, if not very boys. A mind and practice very unseemly, and cleaneth warting God's ordinance. But let them think of ruling what they list, the truth is, that they make themselves subjects both by God's law and man's: of which subjection such wives do oft feel the heaviest burden. Solomon noteth this to be one of the things for which the earth is disquieted, when a servant reigneth. Now when can a servant more domineer, then when he hath married his mistress? As for aged women who are married to youths, I may say (as in another case it was said) woe to thee ô wife whose husband is a child. Vnmeet it is that an aged man should be married to a young maid, but much more unmeet for an aged woman to be married to a youth.

§. 7. Of a wives inward fear of her husband.

Hitherto of a wives acknowledgement of her husbands superiority. It followeth to speak of that answerable respect which she ought to bear towards him.

Inward reverence is an awful respect which a wife in her heart hath of her husband, esteeming him worthy of all honor for his place, and office sake, because he is her husband. Doubtless Sarah had in her heart a reverend respect and honorable esteem of her husband, when being alone, and thinking of him in her very thought she gave him this title Lord. This inward reverence the Scripture compriseth under this word Fear: as where our Apostle saith, Let the wife see that she fear her husband: and where S. Peter exhorteth wives to have their conversation in Fear. It is no slavish fear of her husband which ought to possess the heart of a wife, dreading blows, frowns, spiteful words, or the like; but such an awful respect of him as maketh her (to use the Apostles word) care how she may please him. This wiue-like Fear is manifested by two effects: one is Joy, when she giveth contentment to her husband, and observeth him to be pleased with that which she doth: the other is grief, when he is justly offended and grieved, especially with anything that she her self hath done.

Unless this inward reverence and due respect of an husband be first placed in the heart of a wife, either no outward reverence and obedience will be performed at all, or if it be performed, it will be very unsound, only in show, hypocritical and deceitful: so that as good never a whit as never the better. For according to ones inward affection and disposition will the outward action and conversation be framed. Michal first despised David in her heart, and thence it followed that she vtteredmost vnreuerend and vile speeches of him, even to his face. Wherefore after the judgment of a wife is rightly informed of an husbands superiority, and her will persuaded to account her own husband her head and guide, it is very needful that her heart and affection be accordingly seasoned with the salt of good respect, and high esteem, which breedeth fear: and that thus her heart may be seasoned, she ought oft and seriously to meditate of his place and office, and of that honor which the Lord by virtue thereof hath planted in him. And if he have gifts worthy his place, as knowledge, wisdom, piety, temperance, love, and the like, she ought to take notice thereof, and to think him worthy of double honor.

§. 8. Of a wives base esteem of her husband.

Contrary to this inward reverence of the heart is a base and wile esteem which many have of their husbands, thinking no better of them then of other men; nay worse then of others; despising their husbands in their heart, like Michal, of whom we heard before. This, as it is in it self a vile vice, so is • t a cause of many other vices, as of presumption, rebellion, yea and of adultery it self many times: and it is also a main hindrance of all duty.

It commonly riseth either from self-conceit (whereby wives ouerweene their own gifts, thinking them so excellent is they need no guide or head, but are rather fit to guide and rule both their husband and all the household: of which proud and presumptuous spirit Jezebel seemeth to be, who with an audacious and impudent face said to Ahab her husband, Dost thou now govern the kingdom of Israel? Up, I will give thee the vineyard of Naboth. So also all those wives which are noted to draw away their husbands hearts from the Lord, as the wives of Solomon, Jehoram, and others: which they learned of their great grandmother Eve:) or else from some infirmities of mind or body, or of life, which they behold in their husbands (whence it cometh to pass, that many husbands who are highly honored and greatly accounted of by others, are much despised by their wives, because their wives always conversing with them are privy to such infirmities as are concealed from others:) or, which is worst of all, from unjust surmises and suspicions, suspecting many evil things of their husbands whereof they are no way guilty, and misinterpreting, and perverting things well done, as Michal perverted David's holy zeal.

For redress of this enormous vice, wives ought first in regard of themselves to purge out of their hearts pride, and self-conceit, thinking humbly and lowly of themselves, and that even in regard of their sex and the weakness thereof: and if the Lord have endued them with any gift above the ordinary sort of women, to note well their own infirmities, and to lay them by their eminent gifts: thus by looking on their black feet, their proud-peacock-feathers may be cast down. Yea also when they behold any infirmities in their husbands, they ought to reflect their eyes on their own infirmities, which it may be are even as many and as grievous, if not more in number, and more heinous in their nature and kind: at least let them consider that they are subject to the same, if God leave them to the sway of their own corruption.

Secondly, wives ought in regard of their husbands to surmise no evil whereof they have not sure proof and evidence: but rather interpret everything in better part: and follow the rule of love, which beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. If they note any defects of nature, and deformity of body, or any enormous and notorious vices in their husband, then ought they to turn their eyes and thoughts from his person to his place, and from his vicious qualities to his honorable office (which is to be an husband) and this will abate that vile esteem which otherwise might be occasioned from the forenamed means.

§. 9. Of wiue-like sobriety.

A wives outward reverence towards her husband is a manifestation of her inward due respect of him. Now then seeing the intent of the heart, and inward disposition cannot be discerned by man simply in it self, that the husband may know his wives good affection towards him, it is behooveful that she manifest the same by her outward reverence.

For the first, that a reverend gesture & carriage of her self to her husband, and in her husbands presence, beseemeth a wife, was of old implied by the veil which the woman used to put on, when she was brought unto her husband, as is noted in the example of Rebekah: whereunto the Apostle alludeth in these words, the woman ought to have power on her head. That cover on the woman's head, as in general it implied subjection, so in particular this kind of subjection, viz. a reverend carriage and gesture. But most expressly is this duty set down by Saint Peter who exhorteth wives to order their conversation before their husbands, so as it be pure, with reverence.

This reverend conversation consisteth in a wiue-like sobriety, mildness, courtesy, and modesty.

By sobriety I mean such a comely, grave, and gracious carriage, as giveth evidence to the husband that his wife respecteth his place & the authority which God hath given him. Sobriety in general is required of all women by reason of their sex; and surely it doth well become them all: but much more doth it become wives: most of all, in their husbands presence. The Apostle in particular enjoineth it to Deacons wives, yet not so as proper unto them, but in a further respect appertaining to them not only as wives, but as the wives of Deacons.

Contrary to this sobriety is lightness and wantonness: which vices in a wife, especially before her husband, argueth little respect, if not a plain contempt of him.

Object. Thus shall all delightful familiarity betwixt husband and wife be taken away.

Answ. Though the forenamed sobriety be opposed to lightness and wantonness, yet not to matrimonial familiarity: which is so far permitted to man and wife, as if any other man and woman should so behave themselves one towards another as an husband and wife lawfully may, it might justly be counted lightness and sin: instance the example of Isaac and Rebekah, who so sported together, as Abimelech, knowing them to be such as feared God, gathered by that sporting that they were man and wife: for he thought that otherwise they would not have been so familiar together.

This familiarity argueth both liking and love: and showeth that the man and wife delight in one another's person. But the lightness here condemned in a wife, is not so much a mutual familiarity with her husband by his good liking, as a wanton dallying with others to his grief and disgrace.

§. 10. Of wiue-like mildness.

Mildness in a wife hath respect also to the ordering of her countenance, gesture, and whole carriage before her husband, whereby she manifesteth a pleasingnesse to him, and a contentedness and willingness to be under him and ruled by him. Excellently is this set forth in the spouse of Christ whose eyes are said to be as doves eyes, her lips to drop as honey combs, and she her self every way pleasant: whereupon it is noted that she appeared to her husband as the bright morning, and that his heart was wounded with her. Assuredly the clear sky is not more pleasant in time of harvest, then a mild and amiable countenance and carriage of a wife in her husbands presence. And though her husband should be of an harsh and cruel disposition, yet by this means might he be made meek and gentle. For the keepers of Lions are said to bring them to some tamenesse by handling them gently and speaking to them fairly.

Contrary to this mildness is a frowning brow, a lowering eye, a sullen look, a powting lip, a swelling face, a deriding mouth, a scornful cast of the arms and hands, a disdainful turning of this side and that side of the body, and a fretfull flinging out of her husbands presence: all which and other like contemptuous gestures are as thick clouds ouerspreading the heavens in a Summers day, which make it very uncomfortable. They oft stir up much passion in the man, and bring much mischief upon the wife her self.

§. 11. Of wiue-like courtesy and obeisance.

Courtesie is that virtue whereby a wife taketh occasion to testify her acknowledgement of her husbands superiority by some outward obeisance to him. Rebekah, so soon as she saw Isaac, whom she had taken for her husband, lighted from her Camel and came to him on foot, which was a kind of obeisance. This is not so to be taken as if no difference were to be made betwixt the carriage of a servant, or child, and a wife: or as if a wife should bow at every word that she speaketh to her husband. Though in the kind and extent of many duties the same things are required of wives which are required of children and servants, because God hath made them all inferiors, and exacted subjection of all: yet in the manner and measure of many duties there is great difference: as in this, the obeisance of children and servants ought to be more submissive, and more frequent. Yet because God hath placed authority in the husband over his wife, she is every way to testify her reverend respect of her husband, and therefore at sometimes, on some occasions (as when he is going on a journey for a time from her, or when he returneth home again, or when she hath a solemn and great suit to make unto him, or when he offereth an especial and extraordinary favor unto her, or (as I have observed such wives as know what beseemeth their place, and are not ashamed to manifest as much) when she sitteth down or riseth up from table) to declare her reverence by some obeisance. This cannot but much work on the heart of a good and kind husband, and make him the more to respect his wife, when he beholdeth this evidence of her respect to him. Yea it cannot but be a good pattern to children and servants, and a motive to stir them up to yield all submissive obeisance both to her husband and to her self. For it may make them thus to reason with themselves, shall we scorn or think much to yield that to our father or master which our mother or mistress thinketh not much to yield to her husband? shall-she bow to him, and shall not we much more bow to her? Thus a wives honoring of her husband by yielding obeisance to him, maketh both him and her self to be more honored of others.

Contrarily minded are they, who not only altogether omit this duty, but also gibe and scoff at the very hearing thereof, saying, thus wives shall be made no better then children or servants. But though scornful dames deride these outward evidences of their subjection, yet such wives as fear the Lord ought not to be hindered thereby from doing their duty: for by such evil examples they might be discouraged from every good duty. It is sufficient that such holy women as trusted in God so behaved themselves. But for this particular, we know that equals scorn not upon occasions to perform this kind of courtesy in making obeisance one to another: how much less ought wives, who are their husbands inferiors?

§. 12. Of wife-like modesty in apparel.

Modestie appertaining to a wife is much manifested in her apparel. S. Paul requireth this modesty in general of all sorts of women: but S. Peter presseth it in particular upon wives. For as it well beseemeth all women, so wives after a peculiar manner, namely, in attiring themselves, to respect rather their husbands place and state, then their own birth and parentage, but much rather then their own mind and humor. A wives modesty therefore requireth that her apparel be neither for costliness above her husbands ability, nor for curiousnesse vn beseeming his calling. As a poor man's wife must not affect costly apparel, so neither Ministers, grave Counselors, sage Magistrates, no nor conscionable Professors wives, hunt after new fashions, or in light and garish apparel attire themselves. It is a token of great reverence in a wife towards her husband, to have an eye to his place and state in her apparel.

On the contrary, such proud daines as must have their own will in their attire, and think it nothing appertaineth to their husbands to order them therein, who care not what their husbands ability, or what his place and calling be, they show little respect and reverence to their husbands. Such are they, who are no whit moved with their husbands example: but though the man's apparel be plain and grave, yet the wives shall be costly and garish. Yea many there be that stand in some more awe of their husbands sight, but show little more respect unto him, who have their silken gowns, Beauer hats, and other like attire not agreeable to their place and state, lie in the country, if they be of the city; or in the city, if they be of the country, in a friends house where their husbands shall not know it, and when their husbands are not with them, wear them, and paint their faces, lay out their hair, and in everything follow the fashion. What can they which behold this think, but that such a wives care is more to please other light vain persons, then her grave, discreet husband: or that her husband can nothing at all prevail with her: which as it staineth her own credit, so it leaveth a blot of dishonor even upon him. If the care of a wife were to give evidence of the reverence which she beareth to her husband, his desire and example would in this respect more prevail with her, then the humor of her own heart.

§. 13. Of a wives reverend speech to her husband.

As by gesture, so by speech also, must a wives reverence be manifested: this must be answerable to that. For by words as well as by deeds, the affection of the heart is manifested, Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. A wives reverence is manifested by her speech, both in her husbands presence, and also in his absence. For this end in his presence her words must be few, reverend and meek. First few: For the Apostle enjoineth silence to wives in their husbands presence, and enforceth that duty with a strong reason in these words: I permit not the woman to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence: the inference of the latter clause upon the former showeth that he speaketh not only of a woman's silence in the Church, but also of a wives silence before her husband: which is further cleared by another like place, where the same Apostle enjoineth wives to learn of their husbands at home. The reason before mentioned for silence, on the one side implieth a reverend subjection, as on the other side too much speech implieth an usurpation of authority.

§. 14. Of the titles which wives give their husbands.

As their words must be few, so those few words must be reverend and meek: both which are also implied under the forenamed word silence: which in the original signifieth also quietness.

Reverence hath respect to the titles whereby a wife nameth her husband. Meekness to the manner of framing her speech to him.

For the titles which a wife in speaking to her husband, or naming him, giveth unto him, they must be such as signify superiority, and so savor of reverence. Such are the titles wherewith husbands are named in the Scripture; they are titles of honor. Such also are the titles which the Church (who by our Apostle is made a pattern for wives in all subjection) giveth to her Spouse Christ Jesus, as may be gathered out of the Song of songs. It is likely that Sarah did usually give this title Lord to her husband. For having occasion to think of him, presently this title Lord was in her heart: which would not so suddenly have risen up, if she had not ordinarily used it. According to the usual titles which we give to any, do we in our hearts name them, when we have occasion to think of them. Among all other titles the name husband, as it is the most usual, so it is the fittest and meetest title. It intimateth reverence, and savoreth not of niceness & singularity, as these titles, Head, Guide, Master, Man, and the like do: which though they be lawful titles, because the Scripture attributeth them to husbands, and they signify superiority, yet because they are unusual and savor of singularity, they are not so meet. Common use and practice hath made the addition of the husbands surname to this title Master, more meet.

Saint Peter by this argument proveth that Sarah obeyed Abraham, because she called him Lord.

Contrarie are those compellations which argue equality or inferiority rather then superiority, as Brother, Cosen, Friend, Man, &c. if a stranger be in presence, how can he tell by this manner of compellation, that he whom thou speakest unto is thy husband? If he espy any matrimonial familiarity betwixt you, what can he judge of it otherwise to be, lightness and wantonness? Remember the fearful issue that had like to have fallen out by reason of such compellations given by Sarah and Rebekah to their husbands. Not unlike to those are such as these, Sweet, Sweeting, Heart, Sweet-heart, Love, Joy, Deare, &c. and such as these, Ducke, Chicke, Pigsnie, &c. and husbands Christian names, as John, Thomas, William, Henry, &c. which if they be contracted (as many use to contract them thus, Jack • , Tom, Will, Hall) they are much more unseemly: servants are usually so called.

But what may we say of those titles given to an husband by his wife, not seldom in passion, but usually in ordinary speech, which are not fit to be given to the basest men that be, as Grub, Rogue, and the like, which I am even ashamed to name, but that the sins of women are to be cast as dirt on their faces, that they may be the more ashamed?

§. 15. Of wives meekness in their speeches.

Meekness in a wives manner of framing her speech to her husband, doth also commend her reverend respect of him. This is an especial effect of that meek and quiet spirit which S. Peter requireth of wives; which duty he doth strongly enforce by this weighty argument, which is before God a thing much set by. Is a wives meekness much set by before God, and shall not wives hold it both a bounden duty, and comely ornament, and grace unto them? As the form of words which a wife useth in asking or answering questions, or any other kind of discourse which she holdeth with her husband, so her moderation in persisting, arguing and pressing matters, yea and the mild composition of her countenance in speaking, declare her meekness. If she be desirous to obtain anything of him, fairly she must entreat it, as the Shunemite: If she would move him to perform a bounden duty, mildly she must persuade him. If she would restrain and keep him from doing that which is evil, even that also she must do with some meekness, as Pilate's wife: If she have occasion to tell him of a fault, therein she ought to manifest humility and reverence, by observing a fit season, and doing it after a gentle manner as Abigail: who as she wisely behaved her self in this respect with her husband in observing a fit season, so also with David by intimating his fault unto him, rather then plainly reproving him, when she said, It shall be no grief nor offense unto my Lord, that he hath not shed blood causeless. This meekness requireth also silence and patience, even when she is reproved.

Contrary is the waspish and shrewish disposition of many wives to their husbands, who care not how hastily and unadvisedly they speak to them, like Rahel; nor how angerly and chidingly, like Jezebel; nor how disdainfully, and spitefully, like Zipporah; nor how scoffingly, and frumpingly, like Michal; nor how reproachfully and disgracefully, like Job's wife. If they be reproved by their husbands, their husbands shall be reproached by them: & they are ready to answer again, not only word for word, but ten for one. Many wives by their shrewish speeches, show no more respect to their husbands, then to their servants, if so much. The least occasion moveth them not only inwardly to be angry and fret against them, but also outwardly to manifest the same by chiding and brawling. The very object whereupon many wives usually spit out their venomous words, is their husband; when their stomachs are full, they must needs ease them on their husbands: wherein their fault is doubled.

Let wives therefore learn first to moderate their passion, and then to keep in their tongues with bit and bridle, but most of all to take heed that their husbands taste not of the bitterness thereof, no not though they should by some oversight of their husbands be provoked. It is to be noted how Solomon calleth the jars which are between man and wife, the contentions of a wife, whereby he intimateth that she commonly is the cause thereof, either by provoking her husband, or not bearing with him.

§. 16. Of a wives speech of her husband in his absence.

The reverence which a wife beareth to her husband, must further be manifested by her speeches of him in his absence. So did Sarah manifest her reverence, and so must all such as desire to be accounted the daughters of Sarah. The Church speaking of her Spouse, doth it with as great reverence, as if she had spoken to him. It was for honor and reverence sake, that the Virgin Mary called Joseph the Father of Jesus, when she spake of him.

This showeth that a wives reverend speeches in presence of her husband and to his face, are not in flattery to please him and fawn upon him, but in sincerity to please God and perform her duty.

Contrary therefore to their duty deal they, who in presence can afford the fairest and meek est speeches that may be to their husbands face, but behind their backs speak most reproachfully of them.

§. 17. Of a wives obedience in general.

Hitherto of a wives reverence, it followeth to speak of her obedience: The first law that ever was given to woman since her fall, laid upon her this duty of Obedience to her husband, in these words, Thy desire shall be to thine husband, and he shall rule over thee. How can an husband rule over a wife, if she obey not him? The principal part of that submission which in this text, and in many other places is required of a wife, consisteth in obedience: and therefore it is expressly commended unto wives in the example of Sarah who obeyed Abraham. Thus by Obedience doth the Church manifest her subjection to Christ.

The place wherein God hath set an husband; namely, to be an head; the authority which he hath given unto him, to be a Lord and Master; the duty which he requireth of him to rule, do all require obedience of a wife. Is not obedience to be yielded to an Head, Lord, and Master? Take away all authority from an husband, if ye exempt a wife from obedience.

Contrary is the stoutness of such wives as must have their own will, and do what they list, or else all shall be out of quiet. Their will must be done, they must rule and over-rule all, they must command not only children and servants, but husbands also, if at least the husband will be at peace. Look into families, observe the estate and condition of many of them, and then tell me if these things be not so. If an husband be a man of courage, and seek to stand upon his right, and maintain his authority by requiring obedience of his wife, strange it is to behold what an hurly burly she will make in the house: but if he be a milk-sop, and basely yield unto his wife, and suffer her to rule, then, it may be, there shall be some outward quiet. The ground hereof is an ambitious and proud humor in women, who must needs rule, or else they think themselves slaves. But let them think as they list: assuredly herein they thwart God's ordinance, pervert the order of nature, deface the image of Christ, overthrow the ground of all duty, hinder the good of the family, become an ill pattern to children and servants, lay themselves open to Satan, and incur many other mischiefs which cannot but follow upon the violating of this main duty of Obedience, which if it be not performed, how can other duties be expected?

§. 18. Of the cases wherein a wife hath power to order things of the house without her husbands consent.

Submission in yielding to her husbands mind and will.

Contentment in resting satisfied and content with his estate and ability.

That Submission consisteth in two things.

First, in abstaining from doing things against her husbands mind.

Secondly, in doing what her husband requireth. The former of these requireth that a wife have her husbands consent for the things which she doth. For the better clearing whereof we are to consider,

1. What kind of husbands they must be whose consent is required.

2. How many ways his consent may be given.

3. What are the things whereabout his consent is to be expected.

For the first, as on the one side it oft falleth out that a wife, provident, and religious man is married to a foolish woman, a very idiot, that hath no understanding, of whom there can be no question, but that such a wife is to do nothing of her self, and of her own head, but altogether to be ordered by her husband: So on the other side, it oft falleth out that a wise, virtuous, and gracious woman, is married to an husband destitute of understanding, to a very natural (as we say) or a • renzy man, or to one made very blockish, and stupid, unfit to manage his affairs through some distemper, wound, or sicknesle. In such a case the whole government lieth upon the wife, so as her husbands consent is not to be expected.

§. 19. Of diverse kinds of consent.

II. A consent may be general or particular. A general consent is given, when without distinct respect to this or that particular, liberty is granted to a wife by her husband to do all things as seemeth good in her own eyes. That excellent good wife, and notable good house-wife that is set forth by the Wiseman, had such a consent. For first, it is said, The heart of her husband trusteth in her; and then it is inferred, that she ordereth all the things of the house, whereof many particulars are there specified. Whence I gather, that her husband observing her to be a godly, wise, faithful, and industrious woman, gave her power and liberty to do in the house-hold affairs, what she thought good, (he being a public magistrate, for he was known in the gates, sitting among the Elders of the land) and accordingly she used her liberty.

A particular consent is that which is given to one or more particular things, as that consent which Abraham gave to Sarah about Hagar; and that which Elkanah gave to Hanna about tarrying at home till her child was weined.

This particular consent may be expressed or implied. An expressed consent is when the husband manifesteth his good liking by word, writing, message, or sign, and that whether his consent be asked (as was noted in the example of Elkanah) or freely offered.

An implicit consent, when by any probable conjecture it may be gathered that the husbands will is not against such a thing, though he have not manifested his mind concerning that very particular. This implicit consent may be gathered either by his silence when he is present to see a thing done, or otherwise hath knowledge thereof: or else when he is absent, by his former carriage or disposition in other like cases. The Scripture accounteth an husbands silence, when he knoweth a thing and may, but doth not forbid it, to be a consent: as in the case of a wives vow. For anything we read to the contrary the Shunemite had no other consent to prepare a chamber for the Prophet, and to go unto him, then her husbands silence, and not forbidding it when he knew it.

As for the other kind of implicit consent, it may be set forth in this following instance: suppose a good wife hath an husband whom she knoweth by his former carriage and disposition to be a pitiful and charitable man, taking all occasions to show mercy, and in his absence there falleth out a fit and needful occasion of showing mercy; if she take that occasion to show mercy, she hath an implicit consent, for she may well think that if her husband knew it he would approve what she doth. It is to be supposed that Anna upon some such ground vowed her child to God. For it is not likely that she who would not tarry at home to weine her child without her husbands consent, would much less vow him to the Lord (which was a far greater matter) without some persuasion of her husbands good liking thereof. Now that a wife may show she dealeth uprightly in this case upon a true persuasion of her heart concerning her husbands mind, she ought (when conveniently she can) to make known to her husband what she hath done: as without all question Anna did; and so much may be gathered out of these words which Elkanah uttered to Anna, the Lord establish his word.

§. 20. Of the things whereabout a wife must have her husbands consent.

The things whereabout an husbands consent is to be expected, are such as he by virtue of his place and authority hath power to order: as for example, ordering and disposing the goods, cattle, servants, and children of the family, entertaining strangers; yea, also ordering even his wives going abroad, and making of vows, with the like: now then distinctly to lay down a wives duty in this first branch of obedience, it is this:

A wife must do nothing which appertaineth to her husband authority simply without, or directly against his consent. Do not these words of that old law (thy desire shall be to thy husband) imply as much? I deny not but that there may be sundry things proper and peculiar to a wife, wherein I will not restrain her liberty: and therefore I use this phrase (which appertaineth to her husbands authority.) And I grant the forenamed general and implicit consent, to be a true consent, so as there needeth not an express particular consent for everything, and therefore I have added these clauses (simply without, or directly against consent.)

That is done simply without consent which is done without all warrant from the husband, and that so covertly as she is afraid it should come to his notice, imagining he would by no means like it: As Rachel's taking her fathers idols without all consent of Jacob.

That is done directly against consent which is expressly forbidden and disclaimed by the husband.

But to descend to the particulars before mentioned: First concerning the goods of the family: It is a question controverted whether the wife have power to dispose them without or against the husbands consent.

Before I determine the question, I think it needful to declare, 1. What goods, 2. What occasion of giving the question is about.

§. 21. Of the things which a wife may dispose without her husbands consent.

1. For the goods, some are proper and peculiar to the wife: others are common. Goods proper to the wife are such as before marriage she her self, or her friends except from the husband to her sole and proper use and disposing, whereunto he also yieldeth: or such as after marriage he giveth unto her to dispose as she please: suppose it be some rent, annuity, fees, • ails, or the like.

These kinds of goods are exempted out of the question in hand; the wife hath liberty to dispose them as she please without any further consent then she had by virtue of her hausbands former grant.

To these I may refer other goods, but of another nature, namely such as some friend of hers, suppose father, mother, brother, or any other, observing her husband to be a very • ard man, not allowing sufficient for her self, much less to distribute on charitable uses, shall give unto her to dispose as • e please, charging her not to let her husband know thereof. How because it is in the power of a free doner to order his • ift as he please, and because he so ordereth this gift as he will not have her husband know of it, I doubt not but she may of her self according to the doners mind without her husbands consent, dispose such goods. She is herein but as a • offee in trust.

Again of common goods some are set forth by the husband to be spent about the family, other he reserveth for a • ocke, or to lay forth as he himself shall see occasion.

Concerning those which are set forth to be spent, I doubt • ot but the wife hath power to dispose them; neither is she • ound to ask any further consent of her husband. For it is the wives place and duty to guide or govern the house, by virtue whereof, providing sufficiently for the family, she may, as she seeth good occasion, of such goods as are set apart to be spent, distribute to poor, or otherwise.

This I have noted for such tender consciences as think they cannot give a bit of bread, or scarp of meat to a poor body, or make a mess of broth or caudle for a sick body, except they first ask their husbands consent.

Provided that if her husband expressly forbid this liberty, she take it not except necessity require it.

But our question is concerning such goods as the husband hath not set apart, but reserved to his own disposing.

§. 22. Of a wives liberty in extraordinary matters.

II. For the occasion of disposing goods it may be ordinary or extraordinary. Extraordinary for the good of the husband himself, and others in the family, or such as are out of the family. If there fall out an extraordinary occasion whereby the wife by disposing the goods without or against the consent of her husband may bring a great good to the family, or prevent and keep a great mischief from it, she is not to stay for his consent; instance the example of Abigail. Thus a faithful provident wife observing her husband to riot, and to spend all he can get in carding, dicing, and drinking, may without his consent lay up what goods she can for her husbands, her own, her children's, and whole households good. This is no part of disobedience, but a point wherein she may show her self a great good help unto her husband; for which end a wife was first made.

Concerning such as are out of the family, if they be in great need, and require present relief, though the wife know her husband to be so hard-hearted, as he will not suffer her to relieve such an one, yet without his consent she may relieve him. The ground of this and other like cases is that rule laid down by the Prophets, and by Christ himself, viz. I will have mercy and not sacrifice. If God in case of mercy dispenseth with a duty due to himself, will he not much more dispense with a duty due to an husband?

§. 23. Of a wives restraint in disposing goods without consent of her husband: and of the ground of that restraint.

Out of all these things thus premised I gather the true state of the question in controversy concerning the power of wives in disposing the goods of the family to be this,

Whether a wife may privily and simply without, or openly and directly against her husbands consent distribute such common goods of the family as her husband reserveth to his own disposing, there being no extraordinary necessity?

The most ancient and common answer unto this question hath been negative, namely, that a wife hath not power so to do: whereunto I for my part subscribe.

The ground of this answer is taken from that primary law of the wives subjection, Thy desire shall be unto thine husband. How is her desire subject to her husband, if in the case propounded she stand not upon his consent? It is further confirmed both by the forenamed, and also by all other proofs that might be produced out of the Scripture concerning the subjection of wives unto their husbands. If in ordering the goods of the family she yield not subjection, wherein shall she yield it?

Against this ground-work some object that the same law of subjection is imposed upon a younger brother in the very same words, and yet a younger brother was not thereby bound to have his elder brothers consent in disposing his goods.

Answ. The law of the regality (as I may so speak) and preeminency of the first borne was under those words ordained: and therefore a younger brother was made a subject to his elder, while he remained in the family, as a son to the father. The elder brother was as a lord over his other brothers: whereupon when Isaac conferred the right of the first borne upon Jacob (thinking he had been his eldest son Esau) he used these words, Be lord over thy brethren, and let thy mothers sons bow down to thee. Which being so, questionless the younger brother might not simply without or directly against the elder brothers consent dispose the goods of the family: so as this objection more strongly establisheth the forenamed argument.

Again it is objected that that old law is to be expounded of weighty matters.

Answ. The Apostle who was guided by the spirit of the law-maker, extendeth that law to everything: But is not this matter of disposing goods a weighty matter? The consequences which I shall by and by note to follow hereupon will show it to be a matter of moment.

§. 24. Of the example of the Shunemite in asking her husbands consent.

As another reason may be alleged the Shunemites pattern who asked her husbands consent before she prepared the things that were thought meet for the Prophets entertainment: and before she used the things which were meet for her journey.

§. 25. Of the law of a wives vow.

A third reason is taken from the law of a wives vow: whereby in general is implied, that a wife might not make a vow without her husbands consent: whence it followeth as an argument taken from the greater to the less, that she may not dispose the goods without his consent. Yea, the Law further expressly saith, that though she hath vowed, yet her husband hath power to disannul her vow. Note here, how the Lord will rather depart from his own right (as I may so speak) then have that order which he hath appointed betwixt man and woman broken. The Lord's right, was to have what was vowed to him performed: the order which he appointed, was to have the wife subject to her husband: rather then the wife should do that which the husband would not have done, the Lord remitted a wives vow in case her husband would not consent to have it performed. Now then I demand, is the disposing of goods a greater matter then the performing of a vow? or hath a wife in these days more liberty then in former? if she have, by what law? was there ever under the Law a straiter charge laid upon wives then this, Let wives be subject to their husbands in everything.

§. 26. Of human laws which restrain wives from disposing goods, without or against their husbands consent.

A fourth is taken from the laws of men whereunto we are subject, and which we must obey even for conscience sake, so far as they thwart not God's Law, which in this case they do not, as the reasons before gathered out of God's word do show.

Now our Law saith, that every gift, grant, or disposition of goods, lands, or other thing whatsoever made by a woman covert, and all and every obligation and feoffment made by her, and recovery suffered, if they be done without her husbands consent, are void. Yea, if she do wrong to another, she hath not anything to make satisfaction during couerture: either her husband must do it, or by imprisonment of her person must it be done. And though she have inheritance of her own, yet can she not grant any annuity out of it during her couerture, without her husband: if any deed be made to that purpose without his consent, or in her name alone, it is void in law. Yea, if there be debate between the husband and his wife, whereby certain lands of the husbands be assigned to the wife with his consent, if out of such lands she grant an annuity to a stranger, the grant is void. And if he covenant to give her yearly such and such apparel, she cannot dispose it as she list without his consent, but only use and wear it her self. Neither can she lease her own land for years, for life, &c. if she do, it is void, and the Lessee entering by force thereof, is a Disseisor to the husband, and Trespassor. And if she sell anything, the sale is void, except she be a merchant, where by the custom she is enabled to merchandize. Finally, she cannot make executors without the consent of her husband, nor a devise, or will. If she make a will, and thereby devise her own inheritance, and her husband die, and she after die without any new publication of it, it is of no force, because it was void at first. These and many other like cases which might be alleged evidently show that by law a wife hath not power of her self, without her husband, to dispose the common goods of the family.

§. 27. Of the inconveniences which may follow upon a wives disposing goods without or against her husbands consent.

A fit reason may be taken from the mischiefs which would fall out if this liberty were given unto women: which are these that follow:

1. The estate of the family might be wasted before any redress could be thought of: for if the wife may dispose the goods without her husbands consent, it must also be granted without his knowledge: for it is to be supposed that if he knew of the disposing of that which he liketh not, he would hinder it: if without his knowledge, then may that which he thinketh to be remaining as a stock for the family, be laid out by the wife, and nothing left: whereas if he knew of the spending of that stock, it might be he would be more thrifty and sparing in other expenses.

§. 28. Of property in goods, whether it give liberty to dispose them as a wife will.

To justify a wives liberty in disposing the common goods of the family without her husbands consent, it is said, that she hath a true right and property in those goods.

1. Answ. Though it were granted that a wife hath a true property in the goods, yet this conclusion would not follow thereupon, that she hath power of her self to dispose the goods without her husbands consent: for the authority which God hath given an husband, and subjection which he hath laid on a wife, restrain her power and liberty in that which is her own: as for example, suppose that a woman at the time of her marriage have a lease for years, or the wardship of the body and lands of an infant, or have it by gift or purchase after marriage, she cannot give it away whatsoever the extremity be: but her husband may any time during couerture, dispose of it: and such his disposition shall cut off the wives interest. Or suppose that the only child of her father be an inheretrix of land, and have in her self (her father being dead) the full possession thereof: or that a widow have the right unto, and possession of her husbands estate, and thus possessed be married to an husband, hath she being a wife liberty to dispose that estate which she brought with her without or against her husbands consent? I think none will say it. Sure I am that what she giveth, lendeth, selleth, or otherwise disposeth without his consent, he if he will, may for his lifetime recover again: and yet no man will deny but that she hath the truest interest and property in the forenamed lands and inheritance.

§. 29. Of the reasons against a wives property in the common goods of the family.

2. Answ. It may safely be denied that a wife hath a property in the common goods of the family whereof she is no heir, for property in goods is a civil matter, and to be limited according to the law of man under which we live. Where the law, or custom of the place, make all the children coheirs, all have an equal right to their several parts: where the eldest only is made heir, he hath a right to all: where the youngest only is made heir, he hath a right to all: but neither the law of nations, nor of the land where we live give the wife a property. By the common law marriage is a gift of all the goods and chattels personal of the wife to her husband, so that no kind of property in the same remaineth in her. And all personal goods and chattels during marriage given to the wife are presently ipso facto transferred (as to the property of them) to the husband. So that by our law she is so far from gaining any property by her marriage in her husbands goods, as she loseth all the property she formerly had in her own goods. Yea her necessary apparel is not hers in property. While she remaineth a wife she is (to use the law-phrase) under covert baron. She can neither let, sell, alien, give, nor otherwise of right make anything away, no nor yet make a will so to dispose any goods while her husband liveth without his consent: which yet an husband may while his wife liveth, and that without or against her consent.

§. 30. Of answers to the reasons for a wives property.

To prove a wives property in the common goods of the family the reasons following are alleged.

§. 31. Of the privileges of wives above Children and servants in and about the goods of the family.

§. 32. Of examples and other reasons alleged for liberty of wives to dispose goods.

§. 33. Of the subjection of wives in distributing goods to charitable uses.

Some that grant that a wife is so subjected to her husband in a civil manner, as she may not dispose any part of his goods at her pleasure to any civil use, deny this subjection to extend to giving of alms, and such like charitable uses.

Before I come to determine this question, let it be remembered, that it was before granted, that ordinary duty must give place to extraordinary need, so that relief in present necessity is not controverted. Let it be also remembered that a wife may have goods proper to her self, yea it shall be shown that an husband ought according to his ability to commit something to her discretion and disposition: of these and such like goods she is as much bound as her husband to expend something to charitable uses: and (as God offereth occasion) to reach forth her hand to the poor and needy.

Yea further let this be premised, that in case a wife be forbidden or restrained by her husband, she ought to use all the good means she can by her self and her friends to move her husband to grant her some liberty, that she may have some trial of her merciful and charitable disposition: if herein she cannot prevail, then she ought to make known unto her husband such persons cases as she thinks meet to be relieved, and use all the motives she can to persuade him to afford them some relief.

But put the case a wise, religious, merciful wife, be married to a covetous worldling, who though he have wit, and understanding enough to manage civil affairs, and to provide for the outward temporal estate of the house, yet hath no heart to relieve the poor, and is not only unwilling himself to do good in that kind, but will not suffer his wife to do it, whether may a wife privily take of such goods as he hath reserved to his own disposing, and simply without any kind of consent distribute them to charitable uses, or though he expressly forbid her, yet directly against his consent dispose them?

With reverend respect to better judgments, I think she may not (except before excepted.) For it being before proved in general, that she had no such liberty in disposing goods, I cannot see how this particular end of giving alms can dispence with her general subjection in everything, except there were some particular warrant for it in God's word.

§. 34. Of general exhortations to works of mercy. How far they bind wives.

§. 35. Of obedience to an husband in such things as he sinfully forbiddeth.

§. 36. Of Zipporahs case in circumcising her son.

§. 37. Of the wife of Chuzas case in ministering to Christ.

§. 38. Of the restraint of wives about allowance for themselves or families without their husbands consent.

That which hath hitherto been delivered concerning a wives subjection in disposing goods, may also be applied to other things concerning her self, children, servants, &c. whereof I will give some examples.

A wife hath not power to appoint what she list her self without or against her husbands consent, either for her own allowance, or for her family; she must rather rest satisfied with that which he appointeth: for he being the head, must have the over-ruling stroke therein. Besides he better knoweth what may be afforded.

§. 39. Of a wives subjection to her husband about children.

A wife may not simply without, or directly against her husbands consent, order and dispose of the children in giving them names, apparelling their bodies, appointing their callings, places of bringing up, marriages, or portions.

1. For giving names to children, besides that it is throughout the Scripture for the most part enjoined to the husband, as to Abraham, to Zacharias, and to others, and that accordingly husbands have ordinarily done, as Adam, Lamech, Abraham, and others. It is to be noted that when there was a difference betwixt the man and his wife in giving a childes name, he giving one name, she another, the name which he gave, stood; though Rachel named her youngest son Benoni, yet Benjamin (which name Jacob gave) was the childes name. So also when Elizabeth told her friends that her childes name must be John, they would not rest therein, till Zacharias had ratified that name. Yea though Joseph were but the supposed father of Jesus, yet because he was the husband of Mary the mother of Jesus, he had this honor given him, to give the name unto her child.

Whereas in Scripture it is sometimes said that the mothers named their children, as Leah, Rahel, and others, it is upon the forenamed ground to be supposed that they had their husbands consent.

2. For appointing place and marriage it is noted that Rebekah asked the consent of her husband: though she told her son Jacob that he should go to Haran to his uncle Laban to be there kept in safety from the fury of Esau, yet she would not send him till Isaac had given his consent for his abode there, and taking a wife from thence.

3. For deputing unto a calling, it is noted of Anna, that though before her child was borne she had by solemn vow dedicated him to the Lord, yet when the child was borne she asked her husbands consent about it.

4. That which is noted of Annahs carrying a little coat to her son year by year when she went up with her husband, showeth that she did it not without her husbands consent. Women are for the most part prone to pranke up their children above their husbands place and calling, and therefore good reason that therein they should be governed by their husbands.

§. 40. Of a wives subjection to her husband about ordering servants and beasts.

If wives must have their husbands consent in ordering and disposing of their children which come out of her womb, much more of their servants.

They may not take in, or thrust out servants against their husbands mind. In this point, as in many other, Sarah manifested her wiue-like obedience; in that she would not deal roughly with her maid though she were provoked: much less put her out of doors till she had made the matter known to her husband. Though she failed in the manner, yet in the thing it self she is a good example. It is further noted and approved in the Shunemite that she asked her husbands consent about sending a servant with her.

My meaning is not that such wives as have servants allowed them to attend upon them should ask their husbands consent whensoever they have occasion to use them; for their husbands by allowing them men for their attendance manifest their will and consent that they may use them as they see occasion: but that they should not use and employ their servants in such things as they know their husbands would dislike, except they can gain their husbands consent.

Against those particulars of children and servants it may be objected, that wives are parents of their children as well as husbands, and mistresses of servants as well as they masters, and therefore have altogether as great power over them as their husbands.

Answ. Indeed if the authority of the husband come not between, that may be granted in relation betwixt her and them: but her power being subordinate to her husbands in relation to him she hath not so great a power: the power of a wife that now we speak of is directly in relation to her husband.

The like may be said of their beasts and cattle, a particular point noted also in the example of the Shunemite, who having occasion to use a beast went to her husband, and said, send I pray thee with me one of the asses.

§. 41. Of a wives subjection in entertaining strangers iournying abroad, and making vows.

If wives may not at their pleasure use the things appertaining to the house, much less may they bring strangers into the house and entertain them without or against their husbands consent. The good Shunemite so often named as a president for good wives, first asked her husbands consent, before she lodged a Prophet of the Lord.

The same pattern is also commended unto wives to move them not to journey abroad without their husbands consent. For though that good wife had a very weighty and just occasion to go unto the Prophet, yet she would not before she knew her husbands mind.

As for a wives power to make vows, in that the law giveth an husband power to disannul her vow when he knoweth it, it implieth that she ought to have his consent in making it, if at least she desire to have it established, which she ought to desire, or else she mocketh God.

I have thought good to mention these particular points for illustration of a wives subjection, because they are all of them grounded on God's word: many other might be added to them, but these are sufficient.

§. 42. Of aberrations contrary to a wives subjection in doing things without or against their husbands consent.

Now consider we the usual vices and aberrations contrary to those duties: the general sum of all is, for a wife to take on her to do what she list, whether her husband will or no, either not willing that he should know what she doth, or not caring though it be against his mind and will. Of this sort are

1. Such as privily take money out of their husbands closets, counters, or other like places where he layeth it, never telling him of it, nor willing that he should know it: likewise such as after the like manner take ware out of the shop, corn out of the garner, sheep out of the flock, or any other goods to sell and make money of: or to give away, or otherwise to use so as their husbands shall never know, if they can hinder it. Such wives herein sin heinously, and that in many respects.

First they disobey the ordinance of God in a main branch of their particular calling, which is subjection.

2. They ill repay the care and pains which their husbands take for their good. Many such wives recompense evil for good, which is a devilish quality.

3. They are oft a means to impair and impoverish their husbands estate.

4. They show themselves no better then pilfring thieves thereby. All that can be justly and truly said for their right in the common goods, cannot defend them from the guilt of theft: they are the more dangerous by how much the more they are trusted, and less suspected: and their fact is so much the more heinous by how much the more deer their husbands ought to be unto them.

5. They are a very ill example to other inferiors in the house, for seldom hath a man a deceitful wife, but some of the children or servants, are made accessory thereunto, being made her instruments to take the goods, and bestow them as she ordereth, and so are made unfaithful.

6. They make themselves slaves to their own children and servants, whom they dare not displease, lest they should tell what was done.

7. They teach their children and servants to be thieves: for besides that such as are used by their mistresses to purloine for them, are thereby made accessory to their sin, they will also purloine for themselves, when their mistresses shall not know. So as what with the wives purloining one way, and the children's or servants another way, a man's estate may be wasted as dew before the Sun, and he not know which way.

2. Such as will have what allowance they think best for themselves and family, and scornfully say, They will not be at their husbands finding: they know best what allowance is fittest for the family, and that it shall have. Many will make their husbands ear tingle again, yea and make the whole house (if not the street also) ring of it, if they think their allowance be not answerable to the uttermost extent of their husbands estate. This impatiency and insolency, as it crosseth God's ordinance, so it maketh both their lives uncomfortable.

3. Such as cocker, attire, or any way bring up their children otherwise then their husbands would, even to the grief and dishonor of their husbands: keeping them at home when their husbands, for their better education, would have them abroad: as these sin in hindering the good of their children, so also in not yielding to their husbands.

4. Such as will have their own will about servants, taking in, and putting out whom they please, and when they please: using some servants whom they find for their turn to the prejudice of their husbands: and carrying themselves so sharply and shrewishly to others that are for their husbands turn, as a good, trusty, faithful servant cannot long stay in the house.

5. Such as secretly lend out their husbands horses, or other like cattle, more respecting to pleasure a vain friend, then to please a good husband. This fault is so much the greater, when it is done to the damage and prejudice of the husband.