Letter Written Day Before His Imprisonment

A LETTER to a Person of Quality, written by Mr. Edward Bagshaw.

I Believe you will be much surprised, when you understand that I write this, just as I am going to London, in obedience to a Warrant wherewith I was served last Saturday. And, that I may not qualify, but heighten your wonder, I purpose to give you a brief Account of my Life and Studies, wherewith I think I shall not only satisfy you, but likewise the World (if you think fit to communicate this Paper to them) that my carriage hath been such as did not deserve this rigor, to make it publicly taken notice of.

When I came, or rather when I was driven out of Ireland, on September 17. (by the violence of some men, who could neither preach themselves, nor permit it in others) I took up a resolution (as David sometimes did, when he was tired out with Saul 's persecution) that as soon as ever I arrived to some fixed place of abode, I would quit that Calling of the Ministry, which hitherto (almost ever since my undertaking it) had only engaged my pains, and exercised my patience; and so betake myself to some other employment, whereby I might perhaps equally profit others, and likewise certainly procure more advantage, at least more quiet, to myself. Nor did I think this resolution could be blamed in me by any, especially by those of the Episcopal Perswasion, since they without any such necessity lying upon them, yet make no scruple to mix some Temporal with their Spiritual Employment, or rather so much attend the first, that they leave themselves very little time for minding of the other.

But how plausible soever my Change might be, yet in so important a matter (wherein the whole course of my Life and method of my Studies was to be altered) that I might do nothing rashly, I thought it my duty to communicate my design unto my Father, whose consent could I once obtain, I purposed then to address myself unto the study of the Law, in which his known abilities made him so good a guide, that I promised myself much happiness in having his Assistance, as a Clue, to lead me through all those tedious Labyrinths and Meanders of our English Laws.

Being full of these thoughts, I arrived at Morton, my Fathers house, on Octob. 4. and within few hours obtained not only his Assent to, but his Approbation of my Design, which I waited only his Recovery effectually to pursue. But it pleased God to dash all this Project, by putting an end to my Father's days, who within ten days after my arrival, exchanged this Life for a better, and now in an higher and most impartial Court, hath received that Reward for his Piety and Loyalty, which on Earth he neither had, nor hoped for.

With him, my Plot upon the Law proved abortive, and died too; and now more than ever, I thought myself obliged to attend the Study of Divinity, as being hopeless of ever attaining to any competent knowledge in the other, since my Director was taken away, who alone was both able and willing to smooth those rugged ways, and make them plain to my enquiry: And thus I bad the Law adieu; first, blessing God, for his mercy in that, what I thought to be an harsh Providence, viz. my removal out of Ireland, was by God overruled, merely to bring me home, to receive the last words and Blessing of my honored Father; who, rather dissolved by Age than broken by Sickness, in a most calm and Christian manner expired in my Arms.

The Funeral Solemnities were no sooner over, but I went up to London, partly, to fit myself with Mourning, but principally, to take my final leave of that Honorable Family to which I was formerly related, and within eight days I returned to discharge a double duty, both to my Mother that was living, and to my Father that was dead, part of whose last words were, that I should love my Mother; which I thought I could not more effectually manifest that I did, than by continuing with her in her solitude.

Accordingly I brought all my Books to Morton, and being now fully settled upon the exercise of my Ministry, I laid hold of such opportunities for Preaching, which in that place the absence of the Minister did afford me: To which, besides the Invitation of the People (who were as Sheep scattered without a Shepherd) I had these Motives.

First, The very Office of the Ministry is by the Apostle called a Stewardship, which shows that the gifts whereby any is qualified for the discharge of it, are entrusted not for his use that hath them, but for theirs who need them. Stewards must not lay up, but lay out their Lord's Money; which the Apostle implies, when having premised, that he would have himself and others so accounted, as Ministers of Christ, and Stewards of the Mysteries of God, 1 Cor. 4. 1, 2. he presently subjoins 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 , what remains, it is required in a Steward that he be found faithful. Now that this faithfulness is nothing else, but a careful and diligent ministering of what he hath received, appears in that the Apostle saith in another place, 1 Cor. 9.16, 17. Yea, woe unto me if I preach not the Gospel, for a dispensation, or, as in the Greek, a Stewardship is committed to me; so that without incurring that Woe, I did not see how I could silence myself, or surcease from Preaching.

Secondly, The nature of Ministerial gifts, requires a continual Exercise for the improvement of them; for they increase by using: To him that hath, i. e. to him that well useth what he hath, more shall be given; whereas the slothful servant, who pretended fear, and therefore would not employ his Talent, had it presently taken from him: as Fire, if not blown up, insensibly decays; or as Water, if it hath not a constant currant, dries up, or else corrupts and putrifies: So these Gifts of God's Spirit, which are compared to Fire and Water, if they be not employed for the Edification of others, for which end they were imparted, they are withdrawn, as the Kingdom of Heaven was from the Jews, and given to those who bring forth the fruits of them.

Thirdly, In my most impartial thoughts, I could see no reason why I should forbear Preaching, but merely such prudential motives, which, though many little streams, yet at last resolved themselves into that great Channel, namely, the fear of men, against which there are such special Caveats, such positive Threats, such consolatory Promises, in Scripture, that of the two, I thought I did most like a Christian and a Divine, if I chose to be wholly biased by the fear of God, in which alone I promised to myself a final peace, and since I have found the happy effects of it.

Upon these and such-like Arguments (which I would enlarge, were I not confined to the limits of a Letter) whilst I stayed at Morton, I constantly preached, and that in the Church, so oft as the place was unsupplied by others; and that I might give an Evidence to the World, how little factious or humoursome I was in my Opinion (although I have but little reverence for Church Holy-days, yet, that I might be instant out of season, as well as in it) I did on Christmas-day give the Parish a Sermon, though there hath been none for above twelve years before.

Thus far I enjoyed a quiet, a greater than which I could not be ambitious of, when on the sudden I was alarmed, first with flying Rumors, then with certain Information that there were Warrants issued out to apprehend me; and this I heard above a fortnight before that any was actually served upon me.

I had time and leisure enough in this interval to take advice, what in that juncture of time would best become me to do: and though many of my Friends did counsel me to with-draw myself, urging that of Solomon, A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself; but a fool rageth, or rusheth on, and is confident: and this they enforced both by our Savior's advice to his Apostles (when they persecute you in one City, fly to another) and by his practice in himself, who frequently concealed himself from the Peoples rage, and at last when the Pharisees had fully concluded of his Arraignment and Trial, it is said expressly, That Jesus therefore walked no more openly among the Jews, but went thence into a Country near to the Wilderness, and there continued with his Disciples, Joh. 11.54. These Examples joined with the Entreaties of my nearest Relations, might have warranted me, should I have taken that way to secure myself, which the Law of Self-preservation (without any other inducements) doth prompt most others unto. Yet with me none of these Arguments did prevail, but I continued fixed in my Resolution, to abide where I was, and wait the issue of all these Reports; and that

First, Because I was not conscious to myself, that I had done anything to deserve either death or bonds, and therefore I would not by flight betray my own innocence, or by concealment give too just an occasion of suspicion.

Secondly, Because I had writ many things concerning matters now in controversy, for which perhaps I might be questioned, and should I have fled from the Trial, I could never make amends to the Truths I had formerly asserted; since he scarcely deserves the name of a Christian Writer, who, in the things of God, is not willing to die, for what he hath once upon good grounds defended.

Thirdly, I had frequently exhorted others, not to decline Afflictions, but if the cause was for Righteousness sake, to look upon all such Trials as marks of honor; and should I myself have flinched, and because trouble was near, I should not only have contradicted the truth of my Doctrine, but likewise, amongst all my hearers at least, have discredited the sincerity of my Profession.

Fourthly, I found upon survey and measuring of my own strength, (I mean my own, no otherwise than as given me by God) that death was not at all terrible to me, but a Prison was very dreadful; for having been so long used to the air of liberty, I could scarcely with any patience, think of Confinement. This Weakness I durst not indulge, and therefore resolved to wait and see what God would call me to; of whom I might the more confidently beg assistance, when I had done nothing for my own ease, to avoid his disposal. Nor had the contrary Arguments much weight in them; For,

First, That Speech of Solomon's, as most of his Proverbs, holds true only in Political Distempers, or State Commotions; then indeed it is prudence for a wise man to escape the danger; but hath no place at all in Christian Trials, where he that suffers when he is called to it, is always on the safest side, as acting most suitably to Gospel Principles.

Secondly, Our Savior's advice to his Apostles, was only temporary for that season, till they had finished their Ministry in Judea, and possibly at that time there might be some respect had to their weakness, by comparing this place with that in Matth. 9.15, 17. but after our Savior's Resurrection, we read no more of their flying, but of their persisting in Jerusalem, even when the violence of the Persecution had scattered others.

Lastly, Our Savior knew the exact and critical manner and minute of his death, and therefore it is said more than once, that he did this and that, because he knew all things that should befall him, and his time was not yet fully come; and this might occasion his frequent removal: whereas our ignorance of what is to come, ought to make us conceive, that every Trial which God in his Providence brings upon us, ought without demur to be encountered and undertaken by us, as that whereby he intends himself some glory, which, by careing for ourselves, we may, intentionally at least, defeat him of.

Being thus resolved, I waited with patience, to see what would be the issue of all these Rumours; but after a fortnights stay, finding no effect of them, I concluded, the whole fame to be false and frivolous, and therefore went on Saturday, Jan. 3d. to a Noble Kinsmans house of mine (whose Name and Worth you know) to fetch home my Sister, who had there spent her Christmas; within less than an hour after my arrival there, one that was Clerk to Sir John Bernard, a Justice of Peace in our County, brought the Warrant to me, and that very night, about eight a clock without more a-do in obedience to it, I rode six or seven miles to Sir John Bernard 's house; and now from thence, to use the Apostle Paul's words with a little alteration, I go bound in the Spirit to London, not knowing the things that shall befall me there, save that my Friends are ready to conjecture, that bonds and afflictions abide me. But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I may finish my course with joy, and the Ministry which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the Gospel of the Grace of God, Acts 20.22, 24.