A Wedding-Ring Fitted

A WEDDING-RING: FITTED TO THE FINGER of every Paire, that have or shall meet in the fear of God.

FRom the tenth verse of this Chapter to the end thereof, ( Reverend, right Worshipful and all dearly beloved,) you have, and at leisure may read, an Artificial Wedding-song; or a divine Hymn, describing and commending Marriage with virtuous women: penned or appointed, as may be probably conceived, to be said or sung at Solemn meetings; especially upon such occasions; every verse begins with a letter of the Hebrew Alphabet, in order from the beginning to the end: composed much after the manner of those Pshalmes of degrees with Rhethoricall gradations: partly they might be more sweetly uttered; either in parts by many, or altogether by one, to the greater content of the speaker, profit of the hearer, and delight of both; partly the matter therein contained, might be with more case remembered, and longer retained.

In it self, it is a Prophesy, containing much good counsel, therefore called, (if I mistake not) The Crown of Solomon: good Counsel to a King, respectively, about the choice of a wife, is as his Crown, or the Crown of his Crown, for the consolation of all true hearted subjects and preservation of the public-weal.

Go forth, O ye Daughters of Zion, and behold King Solomon, with the Crown, wherewith his mother crowned him, in the day of his espousals, and in the day of the gladness of his heart: that Crown I take to be this Prophesy; wherein, as out of a sparkling Diamond, you may see the reflecting image of true beauty, and read both the work and worth of a good woman: and fitly may it he called a Crown: every wife thus qualified, is a Crown to her husband, saith Solomon elsewhere; her virtues & graces are as so many Rubies or glittering Pearls of great price, which do well become and adorn a Crown: Go forth therefore, O ye Daughters of Zion, and behold Solomon with his Crown, whereon we find this Posy engraven as with a pen of iron, in letters of gold, never to be forgotten.

The price of a virtuous woman is far above Rubies.

Take notice first of her fidelity: the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her; free from those boisterous storms of jealousy, and distracting cares about house-hold affairs, whereby others are tost day and night, he rests himself in quiet repose, like a ship at Anchor in the calm harbor, knowing his wife will answer her trust, being never idle, nor ill employed.

Secondly, of her industry, she seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly; delays not, till materials invite her, but sends & seeks; her thoughts prevent occasion; her hands and eyes contend with time, she doth those things freely, which others may do, constrained through fear or necessity.

Thirdly, of her vigilancy, she rises while it is yet night; diligence expels drowsiness, and teaches good wives to remove darkness by an artificial Sun, that the goodness of God in the approaching-light, may be opportunely met (not meritoriously matched) with some good work of theirs: weakness I know tyes many, but sloth more, too long in bed; lazy humors are best purged by early rising.

Fourthly, of her charity: she stretcheth forth her hands to the poor and needy; like some pleasant river she feeds and clothes the neighbouring valleys, which through the heat of cruelty, or the cold of poverty, were ready to pine away; hungry bellies and naked arms are the subject of her meditation, it is not enough others know her to be good, except they feel it; helpful compassion is a mark of true devotion while she feeds or clothes her body with rich dainties, she is observed to sigh and say, What abundance do I enjoy, when many a good soul wants necessaries? her fullness yields no satisfaction, unless it ouerslow by communication.

Fifthly, of her providence in governing her little Kingdom; like a well-ordered Army, everyone furnished, hath his place of employment assigned; Laws enacted; hours of examination appointed; & lest she should err in judgment, she looks well to the ways of her house-hold, her eyes are in every corner: children learning, servants laboring, all obedient to the beck of her hand and eye, such soueraignety shines in the face of virtue: she gives maidens a portion; their lavish singers may not be their own carners, who care as little in the spending, as they did in getting their Masters estate; she clothes her family with scarlet, the lasting-weed of deserved honor; implying what she is, and deserves to have: makes her self carpets of tapestry; the furniture of her house and table is the fruit of her hands, made, not bought; ornaments in a Family are commendable Emblemes of pious industry, as more useful things; God allowing not only to sustain, but to delight Nature: she keeps her husband ever in that decent fashion of attire, which becomes his age and calling, so that he is specially noted when he sits in the gates, amongst the chief of the Land: no pains about him is grievous to her, for whose sake all the rest are cheerfully undertaken.

Sixthly, of her wisdom and discretion; in speech she openeth her mouth with wisdom, her words are few, seasonable and weighty: attire, not curious nor careless, but such as the time allows in modest & grave Matrons: strength and honor are her clothing: & for behavior; in her tongue is the law of kindness, she provokes none to evil thoughts by lightness; neither sends any from her discontented, through sour, sullen, and heavy sadness; her carriage is so sweetly tempered with modesty and humility, that at once she cheers the virtuous and curbs the vicious-minded.

Lastly, her piety, she fears the Lord, which is a corner stone in this building, the foundation of all; what good she doth, is in obedience unto God▪ and will be constant in doing, till the Lord leave commanding: but of this I have spoken enough already, upon another occasion, in explaining the two last verses of this Chapter. Who hath or can find such a virtuous woman? her self is portion enough, she passes her weight in gold: her dwelling is a representation of heaven; O happy man, and therefore happy, because husband to such a wife, who brings joyful content to his heart, delight to his eyes, glory to his head, and helps him keep a continual feast. Adam might have had a garden, no Paradise without Eve; man is imperfect without a wife, unhappy without a good one; what the heavens have been thought to be above him, and his soul within him, that a virtuous wife is indeed about him, like well-tuned Virginals, her life is perfect Music: no harsh sounds, nor jarring strings on her breast: if she entreat, it is with humility; if she complain, it is with tears; if she chide, it is with smiles: how can she displease, whose harmless thoughts are still intent to please? he hath put off nature, that finds no content in such a Turtle; not to acknowledge such a helper, argues want of grace: let him seek her that wants one, let him mourn that hath lost one, let him praise her that enjoys one; so much is implied in the Text. Her husband also he praises her, saying,

The words are a conclusive branch of the Prophesy; a speech of praise delivered in the person of an experienst husband, and grounded upon observation:

Deuiding themselves into

• A Commendation, and
• A Comparison.

Commendation of virtuous daughters, with their number: Many daughters have done virtuously.

Comparison, wherein one so qualified is preferred to all, But thou excellest them all.

Daughters carry their duty in their name: the word in the Original springs from a root, which signifies, A building, or to build; and may yield us a twofold instruction.

First, that every virtuous daughter is a building: and therefore in the creation of woman, it is said, that the Lord built her of the rib; as men use to do stately houses, fair, strong, and well-seated, for their delight and profit; without which they cannot well be. What Tisaphernes Lieutenant to the Persian King spake once of Alcybiades, comparing him to a fair house of pleasure, is truly verified of a virtuous daughter; she is a building both delightful and fruitful. Compared for stateliness and profit, to a Merchants ship, Prov. 31.14. Now in all buildings, we may observe cost, comeliness, and use; no less in virtuous daughters; comely they are to the eye, many ways beneficial, and they want no cost, will spare none, or else none should be spared for their good: they are the Lord's building, like Jerusalem, a house that is compact together at unity in it self: not like the dropping house, mentioned in the Proverbs, but like our Saviors house built upon a rock; which proves a constant defense for the owner, against the boisterous winds of violent assaults, and the scorching Sunshine of alluring temptations, for outward structure of several parts in order, for inward furniture, gifts and graces of the mind, admirable: observe and see, the foundation, turrets, windows, doors, inner-chambers, all hanged with rich jewels of intellectual virtues, and divine graces, and you will say, This only deserves the name of None such: no building to the sight so pleasant, none for use so profitable, as this living, moving, speaking Tabernacle: I might stay you over-long in the Entry; should I stand to vnuaile the whole Fabric: you may admire the rest by what you see a far off, I dare but point to it, and pass away: excellency in any workmanship, calls for an exact or no description; lest fruitless haste should eclipse the praise and glory of the Workman.

Secondly, every virtuous daughter is, and must be a builder; we have seen what she is, idle she may not be, her name implies such action, as tends to perfection: a builder she is, first, to her decayed parents, by upholding the credit of an ancient family, by renewing and continuing their name, and nature with posterity, & by repairing the breach, age hath made in the ruinous houses of their bodies, with a timely supply of all their wants; a virtuous daughter makes old parents begin to live young again, partly by feeling present comforts, and partly by feeding upon hopes of future happiness.

Secondly, she is a builder together with her husband, as copartner, yoke-fellow, and help meet for him, in the work committed to their trust; if one should build, and the other pull down, we might expect a Babel, no prosperous building; but Solomon tells us, every wise woman builds her house, the foolish only pluck it down with their hands; and that was the reason his building in the later end, went so backewardly-forward, having so many vicious daughters about him: a good woman raises up the ruins of decayed places, studying how to preserve her husbands credit and good name, both in regard of God and men; when the contrary, makes the stateliest turrets stoup, through pride, riot and idleness, dismantling ancient monuments of strength, to bury her husbands honor in the rubbish thereof: the dwelling of one is like the pleasant spring, even in the midst of Winter, fresh, gay, and pleasant: the house of the other, like stormy Winter, in the middle of May, torn, ragged, and ill-favored: I went by the field of the slothful, and loe, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles, and the stone wall thereof was broken down.

Thirdly, she is a builder in regard of her children, instrumentally to give them being, and well-being, both for conception, birth, and education, by her industrious care, tender infants at first, like unto the creeping Iuy on the wall, come to be tall and goodly Cedars in Libanon, profitable pieces to underprop a declining state; whosoever knows, hath seen or heard of this labor, what it is to bear and bring up children, will say, that she is a painful builder: her nauseous pangs before, & sleepelesse nights after the birth, when variety of change cannot alter, nor give content to her tearelesse crier; one while she sits and sings, to deceive or flatter the tediousness of time, with counterfeited mirth; anon she sighs and weeps, (the burden of her song,) and sings again, as if variety did ease, though not remove her grief; all which do sufficiently tell us, her building in this kind, is multiplied sorrow.

Fourthly, she is a builder to her self, of a good name, which is a rare monument, better then precious oynment, rather to be sought then great riches, no shining titles of fading glory so famous, no glittering trophies of ancient Worthies so durable, as this building: a virtuous daughter cannot be obscured, no more then a City built on a hill, Fame borrowing the tongues of strangers to publish her desert: every action speaks of her, and even while she sleeps, the building goes forward.

Fifthly, she is a builder in regard of her neighbors, either by confection of salves, distillation of waters, or preparation of other necessaries for their relief, supply, and succor in time of need: a vortuous daughter is a true neighbor, everyone near her is the better for her; Innocency bears such sway in her, and is so powerfully prevalent, that she cannot think of an injury with delight, either to do it to another, or to revenge it, done to her self by others; neither will her habitual goodness suffer her to be a careless helper; when Satan hath sown the seeds of strife and discord, and stirred up men by division, to weaken themselves with their own, hands, she sleeps not, till those tares be plucked up, and peace and love replanted in their affections.

Sixthly, she is a builder, in regard of the Church and Common-weal, though she may not publicly be seen, in her retiring rooms, she helps forward the building by prayers, tears, advice, and the labor of her hands: like the wise hearted-women under the Law, who are commended by the Lord himself, as builders, everyone preparing & bringing something towards the finishing of the Tabernacle: let not women be discouraged, because they are not called to public offices, virtuous daughters want not employment, neither are they excluded, (as some unwisely-ambitious, have repiningly-murmured,) from this honorable service; by their private diligence in pious, exercises, the Magistrate rules, the Minister teaches, the husband-man labors, the Physician cures, the Lawyer pleads, and the Soldier fights the better: let them not think themselves therefore contemned, or that they can do nothing, because they do not everything, God hath wisely disposed of his creatures into several ranks, as an expert Captain doth his Army, allotting everyone such and so many talents, as his place required; be content with your portion, the lot is fallen out unto you in a good ground.

And so you see the subject of this commendation, A daughter.

She is a delectable building, only let her be mindful, that she weary not her Lord, with over much needless reparation; she must avoid fantastike fashions, curious gawdinesse, with all vain superficial trimmings; such printed paper-houses pleases children only, but cannot withstand a storm, and are justly derided by every understanding passenger.

She is a conscionable builder, let her remember, she be not idle, nor slugglish in her labor, but like the spinning-Spider, or the gathering-Be, let her daily bring some honey to the hive: & in this common lation of a daughter, we have three things commended to our observation.

First, the necessity and benefit of History, to record the virtuous deeds of such daughters: the phrase here used implies so much; presupposing a Catalogue of names, laid before the Pen man of this Prophesy, (Many daughters:) History unto memory, is as a good wife unto her husband, a help meet for him; in regard of truth, both the mother, and nurce thereof, if the disposer be a man experienst in the affairs he treats of, judicious and impartial: it is a faithful trusty Counselor of state, by whose advice and direction a Common-weal may be framed, governed, reformed and preserved; an Army ordered, enemies vanquished, victory obtained: we read of Lucius Lucullus appointed Captain General over the Roman Forces against Mithridates, having no experience or knowledge in war, more then he had gotten by reading History, and yet proved a discreet & valiant Commander, vanquishing at that time, two of the greatest Eastern Princes. It is and may be the directour of meanest men in any of their actions; wherein they may see without danger, how others have behaved themselves upon several occasions, and what hath followed: speculative experience yields the cheapest wisdom.

It is a punisher of vice, presenting aged folly, green and fresh to posterity, not suffering sin to die, much less to be buried in oblivion: the name of the wicked shall rot, saith Solomon, that is, the evil savor of their filthy life, shall be conveyed through History to generations unborn: it is a delusion of Satan, to think otherwise, sin cannot be concealed: venter not on sin, upon a presumption of secrecy; birds of the air shall carry the voice, and that which hath wings, shall tell the matter: many pens are employed this way, silently to observe and note human passages, that secret works of darkness, contrived in closest corners, may be published hereafter on the house top; men blinded with the glistering out-sides of Satan's Jesuits pleasure and profit, cannot see into private Studies, (the unwilling prisons of rich Records,) nor think of that which will disgrace them in the ages to come.

It is a rewarder of virtue, the proper end of History, to reserve worthy deeds, for imitation; a good work, though it die in doing, is a reward to it self, yet that some dull natures might be stirred up the more, and all benefited by seeing gracious steps before them: this only is exempted by a firm Dec ee from the stroke of death, to live in History, virtues preservative, against the devouring grave, encouraging many to do well, that they may hear well; to do worthily in Ephratah, that they may be famous in Bethlehem; Trumpets are for glozing votaries, who study rather to seem, then to be good; let them hunt after applause, who know they deserve not to have it brought home unto them: be silently constant in good courses, commit your ways unto the Lord, trust in him, and he shall bring it to pass; retired virtue yet never lost her praise.

But to return: the History here meant, especially is God's own Book, wherein we find the names of many virtuous daughters; as of Sarah, Deborah, Hannah, Abigail, Ester, Judith, Mary, Martha, Lydia, &c. That of our Savior is most remarkable, enjoining the use of History, to preserve the memory of a good woman, Verily I say unto you, wheresoever this Gospel shall be preached throughout all the world, there also shall this that she hath done, be spoken of, for a memorial of her: Hence it is that human Histories in imitation of divine, have been so careful to present these jewels to posterity, lest any virtuous daughter should be forgotten: only this I find, men generally too sparing in praise of good women: seeing the Lord hath done it, men may proceed from a certainty of the lawfulness, to a necessity, his relative actions are for example, and so have a binding power, saying to us as our Savior did to the man in the Gospel, Go and do likewise: it is a custom as commendable as ancient, at funerals, to mention those virtues most eminent in the parties deceased; whosoever buries virtue in silence, or slubbers over worth in any by a careless style, commits a threefold injury; one against God the Donor, whose praise and glory is hindered; another against the persons in whom it was, robbed thereby of some part of their right; and a third against all surviving followers, who should be encouraged by such justice, to wrestle with vice that so at last, they might go home adorned with this Crown of honor▪ let none envy the dead; by negligence to enroule good women amongst this number of many.

Secondly we have here the manner how he commends her, not before he had given others their due praise: detraction from others, is no solid ground, for the commendation of our own; we may not steal from our neighbors, to enrich our selves, or those we love, with goods or good name, nor dispraise others, to augment our own praise: it was an injurious practice of the proud Pharisee, I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, nor as this Publican: building his own perfection upon the weakness of his brother; concluding himself (proudly) good, because not so sensibly bad; sound, because not so apprehensiuely sick as others: it is a cold kind of praise, that is drawn from the vices of any, a deceitful demonstration, taken from the worser part: The relation of imperfections, is meat to feed malice only, sitter it is to bewail them in secret, then to publsh them with delight for any end; table-talk in any places, is too much faulty this way; it were good Catoes rule might be observed; either good of men absent, or nothing at all: so in matters of commendation keep this method, observe and see amongst the multitude if many be religious, virtuous, industrious, give them first their due, then may you prefer your own: good order observed in doing, beautisies the action, and commends the workman.

Thirdly, we have here the matter of his commendation: it is not said, Many daughters have been beautiful; favor is deceitful, and beauty is vanity: nor, Many daughters have been rich: house and riches are the inheritance of Fathers, which profit not in the day of wrath, but make themselves wings, and fly away as an Egle: neither is it said here, that many daughters have been, and are borne of high parentage, it may be a benefit, no praise unto women to come of great kindred; a good old stock may nourish a fruitless branch, a Noble family yield and impious progeny; the commendation runs not of riches, beauty, or birth, (though these be commendable in their place and rank,) but of virtue.

Many daughters have done virtuously.

Teaching us this lesson, That virtue only wins women true praise, and wives deserved commendation: we find Sarah commended for obedience, Rebekah, for wisdom, Rahel, for pliant love, sweetly-winning, and firmly-holding affability towards her husband; Abigail, for a good understanding, and Ruth, for virtue in general: the Spirit of God moves the hard question, not of a rich or beautiful, but, Who can find a virtuous woman? Men may easily find fair women wantons, rich women proud, and surely, great women idle and impious, more then comely or lawful; more difficult to find a virtuous woman, chaste, humble, obedient, discreet, fearing God; whose sweet composure of her self in all places and company, stirs up in the beholders an admiring affection; let him say, and think he is rich enough, her prize is far above Rubies, no pinching poverty could ever lodge with such a Pearl: let him say, and think, he hath found favor with God, a prudent wife is from the Lord, who must be prayed unto before, and daily praised after: virtue is amiable, wheresoever found, but most of all in women; the weakness of their sex, adds a kind of strength and luster to their graces: virtue from beauty, even in men is most attractive, but in women, we find it hath a power strangely coactiue, causing not only the good, but the worst of men to honor it: virtue hath had this privilege in all ages; beauty may please the eye for a time, as an object over-delightful to unregenerate nature, but by the presence of any of deaths messengers, it is put to slight, not daring to receive a thought of death, much less the sight; riches may serve to gild over many imperfections in women, and make them seem lovely, which never were, while passion guides reason, and the sensual appetite vsurps authority to sway the will, against the voice of judgment: the flesh will be satisfied with either of these, the mind fully contented with neither: both are momentary & mutable, insufficient to make women honorable; that is virtues prerogative Royal: honor is a virtue, and will be employed about nothing but virtue; nor stick to anything but what is immortal, free from change, as virtue is; were there ten thousand ages, attended with as many diseases, which should come tumbling like Job's messengers, one in the neck of another, yet virtue like some impregnable Castle, would still flourish, out-facing the storms of age, sickness, death, and the grave: the more virtue suffers, the brighter it is, the longer it lives, the younger it grows, increasing by the communication, the oftener seen and used, the less feared to be lost; thieves cannot steal, nor time deface it: who can find a virtuous woman?

Lest any hasty to answer, should be mistaken, either in estimation of themselves, affection to, or commendation of others, let us inquire what it is to do virtuously.

It is no ordinary act of common civility, (as many in their conceits are mistaken,) but an habitual practice of something more then morality: none can do virtuously, without a habit of virtue; one action yields no denomination; and whosoever hath the habit of any one in deed and in truth, must of necessity have the rest in some degree; virtues, (excepting the intellectual only, which have no such dependence nor connection among themselves,) are linked as in a chain together; if you be owners of one, the rest will follow.

To this practice of virtue, there are three sorts of virtues requisite: all having, and keeping both their place and time, in a virtuous daughter, the eminency of some above others, breaks not the harmony: the first are intellectual, and those either speculative, as knowledge to discern, wisdom to direct, and understanding to choose, according to both: or practical, as prudence which is active in electing, and Art, which is operative in performing the election, according to the rules of virtue. The second sort are virtues moral, such are Providence, or skill to give good and wholesome counsel, when occasion is offered, to order all her affairs by the rule of right reason, to their proper ends, for the benefit of human societies: Justice, by an upright division, to give to everyone their own portion: Temperance, consisting in a discret limitation of passion and affection, about words, diet, apparel, and pleasure, that the fleshy part over-sway not reason: Fortitude and well-guided magnanimity, not against, but in defense of her husband, his person, goods, and good name, boldly to resist all evil motions and temptations, with a constant opposition of carnal lusts, which fight against the soul.

The third sort, are virtues Theological, such are those precious graces of Faith to apprehend, Hope, to hold fast, and Love to glew her to the mystical body of Christ; So that an understanding, sober, godly woman, is the virtuous daughter here meant; to be judicious, industrious, religious, in act & exercise, is to do virtuously; many daughters have been so, many have done so, and this is matter of commendation.

Men may esteem thus of virtuous daughters in general; it is not sufficient in a husband, without some special application: his own, if she strive to do her best, and be in any tolerable measure so qualified, must be preferred in his conceit, as most virtuous and best for him; such direction we have from the comparison, which is my second part, and comes in the next place to be discust; Though many daughters have done virtuously, yet Thou excellest them all.

A Commendation, it is something beyond comparison; to excel any, yields matter of praise always; to excel and pass all, affords matter of admiration; which shows the power of true affection, to change in respect of it self, the nature of things, and to produce effects above reason: a hearty Lover can never be a sound Grammarian; Grammarians acknowledge and make use of three degrees of comparison; a true Lover admits no positive, all his comparisons are superlative; he thinks none so virtuous, none so sit for him, as his own portion; and it is better, seeing the case thus stands, that all Grammarians should be angry with us, then one God offended by us: whose will it is, as we see here, that one should be preferred to all. Thou excellest all: Delivered not absolutely, in regard of any one here meant, and pointed out in the Text, (though some might coniecturally appropriate it, to Bathsheba, or to the blessed Virgin Mary, ) neither is it to be understood, as meant, or spoken of any, out of pride, vain glory, flattery or a boasting humor, (it is unlawful for men so to praise or prefer their own,) but respectively, with diverse limitations and so appliable to any: as first, in regard of qualification, such a one answering the description prefixed, is preferred to all that do not, and are not so.

Secondly, in regard of the husbands special notice and knowledge, many have done virtuously, but thou in my judgment and apprehension excellest.

Thirdly, in respect of his affection and liking, amongst many, none appear to him so virtuous.

Fourthly, in respect of his contentation with the endowments of his yokefellow, he is best pleased with her endeavors.

Fifthly, in regard of his resolution, upon the former grounds, forsaking all, to cleave unto her, above all others; whosoever meets with a virtuous Daughter, thus qualified, is bound in conscience to think and say, To me thou excellest all.

The word signifies to ascend by climbing: as men in the field of war do aspire after honor, so women in the calm school of virtue, do strive to go higher, degree by degree, step after step; yielding us many lessons worth our observation.

First, that every virtuous Daughter is humbly high-minded and holily-ambitious after the best things; climbing to ascend, that they may excel in every good work: the Apostle doth elegantly express it of himself, which I may here apply unto them; they count not themselves to have apprehended, but this one thing they do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before; they press towards the mark, for the price of the high calling of God, in Christ Jesus: it is the property of a disposition basely seruill, always to look downwards, and to think it self high enough, before there be any beginning to ascend; whence it comes to pass, that many conclude they can do nothing, because they dare not patiently think of the difficulty of doing; judging sinful sluggishness, to be contented humility; when noble spirits aspire daily after high and difficult things inossensiuely.

Secondly, that the way of virtue is the way to honor and preferment, in the love of God, and opinion of good men: in Rome there was no coming to the Temple of honor, but by, and thorough the Temple of virtue: though it be narrow, yet it is an infaillible way: whosoever climbs in by the windows, as into the Church, so unto honor, is a thief and a robber; by treading upon the pins of an unlawful ladder, men and women may ascend, not excel; either by the mist of deserved censure, they are covered, and so not regarded, or else through the suddainesse of a shameful fall, they have no leisure to embrace their seeming happiness; when virtue advancing any, like the radiant Sun expels all clouds, and makes them shine in the fullness of strength; observe and see, whether such as went in any other path, did ever finally prosper? When women rise by falling, men by fawning and flattery, paying money, instead of practicing virtue, the higher they go, the rarther will their infamy fly abroad; only virtue leads to true honor.

Thirdly, that virtuous daughters having once begun, never leave good and godly courses, till they have perfected their virtues by action: she that looks back, is not sit for the Kingdom of heaven; remember Lots wife: it is a miserable thing to have been happy; when that may be verified of them which the Apostle speaks of his Galatians, Ye did run well: ye were virtuous, chaste, sober, religious: But, &c. Goodness is discerned and commended by continuance; either resolve to go on, or begin not; climbing is painful, yet men usually desist not; till they attain the top, and end of their desires; especially if their aim be at such fruits, flowers, & shows, as are in this eminent Garden of virtue; good women are no less valiant, with unwearied patience, to undergo the heat of the day, knowing they shall not be deprived of their hope; their labor cannot be vain in the Lord: perseverance unto death, brings a Crown of life.

Fourthly, that such virtuous women must not want encouragement by commendation: give them the fruit of their hands, let their own works praise them in the gates; Many daughters have done virtuously, &c. There was a feast ordained and kept in Rome, called, Matronalia, in honor of those women, which procured a peace between the Sabines and the Romans; with diverse privileges annexed unto it, as to give them place in all public assemblies, to speak no dishonest words, nor do any unseemly thing before them; it is a sin to be silent in their praise, that deserve it, provided it be done justly, seasonably, & discreetly: I would not wish men to daub over rotten posts with deceitful colors, to burden vicious women (their own wives,) with undeserved praises; nothing more foolish and ridiculous: I would not have men make their wives, though good and virtuous, the ordinary subject of their talk, in all places and company; no custom more unseemly, if not dangerous; but when convenient occasion is offered, to speak the truth of them, for the glory of God, manifestation of their comfort, and excitation of others, by such good example.

Fifthly, that understanding husbands, are best pleased with the virtuous actions of their own partners: many have done virtuously, but thou to me, in my eye and judgment excellest all; A duty I confess, easier to think, and speak of, then to perform: an impure, adulterous heart, thinks directly the contrary, that any man's wise his better th • n is own; Satan casts many rubs in the way, showing men through a deceitful glass, and saying, See, and observe in such a one, handsomnesse, beauty, wit, diligence, far excelling thine; enjoy her at least in desire; and prevailing passion, yielding to this temptation, blinds judgment; so that many there are, who have and do deem their own choice worst of all, nothing pleases, that passes from them, no, not when it is the same, which they approve and admire in others: therefore the understanding must be conuincit, the heart seasoned with grace, the eye emptied of adultery, and the mind freed from the restless motion, and perturbation following desire of change, before any can say truly of his own virtuous second, Thou excellest all. Take Solomon's counsel; drink waters out of thine own Cistern, and running waters out of thine own Well, let thy Fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wise of thy youth; let her be as the loving Hind, and pleasant Roe; let her breast satisfy thee at all times, and be thou rauisht always with her love; give affection leave here to extend her self something beyond truth, either there is no way to err, or no danger in erring this way.

To wind up both, the Commendation, and Comparison on one bottom; I shall conclude all with the time, in certain specialties, by way of application.

The whole may serve to inform us, first, that men should be experienst, able to discern good from evil, virtuous from vicious women, before they make choice of a wife, that men so soon as they are married, should be able to commend good wines, is expressed in the Text▪ that they should be as able to condemn the evil and vicious, is necessarily implied; none can commend a good one, but he that knows a bad; and can discern thorough the veil of hypocrisy & mask of dissimulation, lest one be mistaken for the other, virtue vnderualewed, and vice approved; such events are common, where experience is wanting: hence it is, many marry they know not what, and may amend their choice, they know not when: When Caesar was to pass Rubicon against Pompey, he left the land with this resolution, as I remember,

As it is in the government of a Common weal, or in the ordering of an Army, a Commander can err but once, (which is a miserable happiness,) overthrow and ruin following so close, he cannot have leisure to be twice faulty. So oftentimes it falls out in the choice of a wife, men have not leave to change often, one blest or crossed, ever so, during life: it is a practice dangerous & intolerable in a well-governed State, to force an union between young years; where there is no actual power to choose, nor judgment to discern; common reason tells us, we should be long in doing that, which can but once be done, lest after we vainly wish it were to do again: beaduised, it is a long bargain; rash adventures yield little gain.

Secondly, we are further informed, that virtue is the chiefest flower in A good wives garden: for this she is commended, preferred for this; riches, beauty, parentage, favor, and proportion grow in lower ranks, and serve to adorn the borders; the heart is virtues place; which shows it self to be alive, by the present fruits of virtuous actions; none have chosen well, who have preferred anything to this, in their choice: look first on beauty, and you buy a Picture; look first on riches, and you make a purchase; look first on parentage, & you match with a multitude at one time; but look first on virtue, and it is a marriage indeed, two made one by a mystical union, representing that between Christ and his Church: the Law may tie two together, that meet upon sinister ends, virtue only unites them; therefore this is most excellent and praise-worthy; all other flowers die in Winter, this flourishes most in old age; others droupe under the stormy blasts of hoary Autumn, while this enjoys a perpetual Spring.

Thirdly, we are hence informed that wives should therefore strive to excel one another in virtue chiefly: Licurgus made the Lacedemonians equal in livings and riches: his reason was, that they might strive to excel one another in virtue only: I seek not such a Law, supposing equality of desire this way, may well stand with inequality of condition: the excellency of riches and poverty consisting in this ability, through a virtuous disposition, to make a right use of either: we see many contend for superiority in place, who shall stand, sit, and go before; we may observe women strive with their neighbors, who shall excel in decking and trimming their bodies, adorning and setting forth their houses, following new fashions, and out-stripping one another in excessive feasting: evident signs of great lightness, to wrestle about, or deem themselves the better, for any of these trifles: emulation only in the race of virtue, is worth commendation; Couet earnestly after the best things, saith the Apostle, Who shall be most rich in grace; most zealous and forward in good duties; who shall excel most in the virtues of humility, temperance, chastity, modesty, providence, charity, &c. such covetousness is commendable, such contention the issue of sinless-ambition: let all care give place to this, all strife be turned into this, how you may excel one another in virtue, so shall love regain her ancient soueraignety amongst neighbous, in spite of envy.

Fourthly, we may hence learn, that married persons should conster the actions one of another in the best sense; to say, and think, (if it be true in any tolerable manner,) their own choice excels all others: and that first, in token of their submission to God's disposition, who ordains meet matches, allotting to everybody his own rib: secondly, to manifest their contentation with their portion, when they can say heartily, their lot is fallen out unto them in a good ground: thirdly, for a testimony of the truth of their affection each to other; it is one property of love, to cover a multitude of infirmities, and sometimes to judge that excellent, which is but weakly good; wives passing by their husbands faults, husbands pardoning their wives failings, that so a good opinion may be still kept warm in the lap of mutual affection.

First, the husband must thus think of his wife, and seasonably express it, for a comfort to her against all her pains and trouble in child-birth, and family affairs, as also to encourage her continuance.

Though many daughters have been virtuous, yet none so sit for me, thou excellest all.

And to that end it is required she be, first, religious, a professed servant of Christ, going and drawing others with her in the way to heaven; for how can such be said to excel amongst men, who are so far from this spiritual exercise, of climbing Jacob's Ladder, that they never yet looked up towards heaven, with any settled purpose to go thither? under this I comprize piety, charity, & sobriety, in words, food raiment, pleasure, &c. secondly, that she be ossicious, a builder together with her husband; ready and willing, both in regard of earth and heaven, body and soul; under this, she is enjoined to be loving, obedient, helpful in all good things, to the uttermost of her power; Let such a husband so inricht, remember to be thankful unto God, who hath done more for him then parents, his purse, or all the world could do; good servants are a blessing, good children a greater, but a good wife best of all.

Some may reply here, and demand, How can we say, as you teach, without sin, when we see and feel the contrary? I answer, first, it may be so, many daughters have been vicious, yours worst of all; naturally women are wavering, weak, unwise, sight, credulous, news, lovers, given to lies: Many have been and are irreligious, enemies to profession in the powet thereof; Many are given to pride, idleness, wantonness, drunkenness; witness those conceited conditional Laws, attributed to Zaleucus the Locrian, restraining women, that none should be attended with more then one maid in the street, except when she was drunk; that none should go out of the City in the night, except she went to commit adultery, and that none should wear gold or embrodred apparel, except when she purposed to manifest herself to be a common strumpet.

Many are given to lying, swearing, cursing, brawling, and fighting, like devils incarnate, (such ribs are Satan's shaftes, taken from the sides, to be shot against the heart of man to vex him, and to be as rottenness in his bones) and yours it may be for want of grace, are worst of all: of such never think nor say, that they excel in virtue, it is no part of the Doctrine here taught, but the contrary; women must do things praise-worthy, that will be praised.

Secondly, blame your own choice; beauty, or riches was the Star that led you, how could you escape ship-wrack? you sought not for a virtuous mate, no marvel if you found her not: but she was once better: take heed then; some untoward behavior in you, may occasion those unruly passions in her: a wife is like a ship, well steered, she goes smooth, if other ways, she be guided by an vn-skillful hand, she turns and tumbles would make one sick to see her: how-ever, know it is a burden laid on you by the Lord, to chastise your former folly, try your patience, or to exercise your skill.

Thirdly, suppose many failings in your wives, yet if there be a will to do well, (a wise man may easily discern between habitual wickedness, and intermissiue frailties,) deal with them as you would God should deal with you,

• Accept the will
• For the deed:

Suffering, is the way to victory; to yield unto them in some things, is a means to make them more obedient in all.

Secondly, the wife must have the same conceit of her husband, else the Ring goes not round. Though many sons have done virtuously, thou to me excellest them all: and to that end, he must be, first, judicious, a man of understanding, able to manage the affairs of his general, and particular calling; under this I contain wisdom, knowledge, experience, sobriety, Christian care, to provide for his charge, &c. want of discretion accidentally begets contempt.

Secondly, he must be courteous in his behavior towards her, (a churlish Nabal can hardly be brought within the compass of this round,) good words, and looks, give women great content, especially from those they love: I would not have men so soft and silly, as to be displeased with nothing, neither to be so hot, and hasty, as to be angry with everything; there is a golden mean: and under this I place patience, bounty, familiarity, like that of Isaac with Rebekiah, encouragement in good and defense of her person, and name against all others: Let such a wife so enriched, remember to pay the debt she owes unto God, of praise and thanks; is not such a husband better unto her then ten sons?

But alas, I am so matched as never woman was, many husbands have been vicious, mine worst of all? I answer, First, it may be so in your conceit only, want of affection with desire of change, may mislead judgment: Secondly, say it be so indeed, he runs abroad, frequents Taverns and Ale-houses, mis-pends his time and means in gaming, &c. take-heed you be no cause thereof; Many are so light-heeled, and nimble-tongued, their husbands have no delight to stay within. Thirdly, how-ever it be, prayers and tears will prove your best weapons, with a patient expectation of his reformation, knowing it to be the just hand of God, for your youthful wantonness and neglect of his service: the best counsel I know to give you, is,

• Please him, and
• Pray for him.

Lastly, be you all advised; if married, to examine your condition for a perfect union is attended with this opinion; if unmarried, resolve to match with none, except you be thus persuaded of them: resist Satan's suggestions, all carnal motions, whereby many untoward marriages are made amongst us, that you may wear out this conceit each of other as your

Wedding-ring.

The benefits following, which may move you to put it on, are many. First, all harsh conceits are hereby prevented or removed, what is done or spoken, shall be well taken; one weyghing still the works of the other, in the balance of good-will, either finds none, or freely pardons the want of weight.

Secondly, no strife can be raised between you, which is not soon appeased; passion and suspicion may prevail so far, as to darken, but shall never live so long, as to put out the eye of affection: their jars are attended with words, (love offended cannot long be silent,) words beget looks, and looks are followed with smiles, so the storm is laid.

Thirdly, good example is given, to children, servants, neighbors, and to the Church of God: O, how pleasant a thing is it, to see man and wife to spend their days in perfect amity? one bearing, the other forbearing, both studying to give content: so that other may see that happiness which they cannot attain, and be driven to admiration, though not to imitation.

Fourthly, hearty love shall be maintained and increased daily, so that you will never desire to change, hearts nor hands, with any other; the longer you live, the more loving you will be, such virtue there is in this Wedding-ring: pray you may find it; endeavor to wear it, resolve to live and die with it, that men may after fixe it as an Epitaph on your tombs, to be seen and read of all with just applause.

I end with prayer for you both: the Lord guide you with his Spirit, season your hearts with his grace, and make you truly virtuous, that as Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rahel, you may build up the house of your fathers, live peaceably, and die comfortably; that so this which hath been spoken for you on the day of your meeting, may be verified of you, after the day of your parting.

Many sons and daughters have done virtuously, but you have endeavored to excel them all.

To God the Father, God the Son, and God the holy Ghost, be given all honor and glory, now and forever.