Two Marriage Sermons

Faults of moment to be amended.

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A GOOD WIFE GOD'S GIFT.

T HERE be two things especially that commend a work, the Autor, and the Matter. Both of them conspire to commend this Book, as in the Title of it they are both expressed.

For the Autor, (to omit the Principal, God's Spirit: for, All Scripture is inspired of God:) the Penman of it was Solomon, the wisest mere man that ever was in the world since Adam, by the testimony even of wisdom it self.

For the Matter; it is Proverbs or Parables, (as the word in the Original signifieth) Master-sentences, such as rule or sway, and are or may be of principal use in man's Life.

Now consisting for the most part of such Aphorisms and short Sentences, from the beginning especially of the tenth Chapter; it is not necessary, that they should have any coherence one with another; neither indeed for the most part have they.

Yet this and the next before it, have some connection: the former being of the inconvenience that cometh by a bad wife;

This latter of the benefit that a good wife, that a wise and a discreet woman bringeth with her.

There Solomon compared two grand evils together, and made a bad wife the worse of the twain:

Here he compareth two great benefits together, and maketh a good wife the better of the two.

For the former; A foolish Son, saith Solomon, is his Fathers sorrow: and a brawling wife as a continual dropping.

Mala intestina grauissima. Evils are the more grievous, the nearer, and the more inward they are; as diseases in the entrails. And mala domestica, domestical evils, vex a man most, when a man's enemies, as our Savior speaketh, are those of his own house.

It is no small inconvenience to dwell near a bad neighbor; were such a one further of us, he would be less troublesome to us. And surely if to have good neighbors be a matter of no small moment, then somewhat also it must needs be for a man to want such, and much more for a man to have them that dwell near him evil-affected toward him. An evil at the next door may be bad enough, and may prove over troublesome; an evil within doors, at home, in a man's own house much more.

But again within doors there are degrees also: in a man's own family there are some nearer then others. A son is nearer then a servant, and a wife then a son. It is a sore cross to be troubled, and it be but with bad servants. It is no small vexation to find untoward and unfaithful carriage toward him in those that eat his bread, that feed at his bord; much more to sustain it at the hands of her, that taketh up the same bed with him, that lieth in his bosom. No evil to a bad bed-fellow, to a bosom-evil, to that evil that lieth within or about the breast.

Though true mercy and compassion in some measure extend itself unto all those, whose miseries and calamities we are acquainted with: yet the misfortunes of our deer friends affect us more then of mere strangers: And the wrongs and injuries offered us by professed and pretended friends we are wont to take more to heart. It was not mine enemy, saith David, that did me this wrong; for then I could have borne it. But it was thou, ô Man, my companion, my guide, and my familiar friend.

But Brethren are nearer then Frends. And howsoever Solomon truly saith, that a Frend sometime sticketh closer to a man then a Brother: yet in nature a Brother is nearer then any Frend is or can be. There is a civil knot only between Frend and Frend; there is a natural band between Brother and Brother. And therefore, A Brother offended is harder to win then a strong City; and their contentions are as bars of brass. It is easier glewing of boards together, that have been vnglewed, again; then healing up the flesh that is gashed and divided: and the reason is, because there was but an artificial connection before in the one, there was a natural conjunction in the other.

But Children they are yet nearer then either Frends or Brethren. They are partes nostri, viscera nostra; they are as our very bowels, and part of our selves. And therefore no marvel if Solomon say, that A foolish Son is a sorrow to his Father, and an heaviness to his Mother. And, He that begetteth a Fool, begetteth himself sorrow: and the Father of a Fool shall have no joy.

But behold here a further evil then any of the former. An evil wife, a contentious woman worse then any of them all. Husband and Wife are nearer then Frends, and Brethren; or then Parents and Children. Children, though they spring from their Parents, yet they abide not always with them. They are as rivers rising from one head, but taking several ways, making several streams, and running apart in several Channels. But man and wife must bide by it. They are as two streams, that rising from several heads, fall the one into the other, mingle their waters together, and are not severed again till they are swallowed up in the Sea. Children are as branches shooting out of one stem, divided and severed either from other, or as grifts and siences cut of, or boughs and branches clipped of from their native stock, and either planted or engraffed else-where. Man and Wife are as the stock and sience, the one engraffed into the other, and so fastened together, that they cannot again be sundered, or as those two pieces in the Prophets hand enclosed in one bark, and making both but one branch. And Therefore, saith the Holy Ghost, shall a man leave Father and Mother, and be glued unto, or cleave fast to his wife: and They two shall be one flesh.

The nearer the bond then, the greater the evil, where it falleth out otherwise then it ought. A foolish Son, saith Solomon, is the calamity of his Father. And how is he his calamity? He is filius pudefaciens, such an one as shameth his Parents, and maketh them glad to hide their heads in the house. But an evil wife is as the rain dropping in through the tiles, that maketh him weary of the house, that vexeth him so that it driveth him out of doors.

Yea as a dropping in a rainy day, when it is foul without and it droppeth within. So that it maketh a man at his wits end, uncertain whither it be better for him to be abroad in the rain, or to bide within doors in the dropping. And for this cause Augustine compareth an evil Conscience to a badwife, (and it may seem that he pleased himself somewhat in the similitude, he maketh use so oft of it:) which when a man hath many troubles & afflictions from without, and would look home, hoping for some comfort from within, is much more troublesome to him then any of those outward crosses are; is as a rock or a shelf to Sea-men in a storm, where they hoped to have found harbor and shelter against it.

Yea further, not as a dropping only that driveth a man from his house and home, and that when it raineth; but as a continual dropping in such a day: So that a bad wife is worse then a quartane ague, wherein a man hath two good days for one evil. He that hath an evil wife, is as one that hath an evil soul, a guilty conscience, that evermore sticketh by him, that every-where accompanieth him, is a continual evil companion with him at bed and bord, such as he cannot shift of or shun. And no marvel therefore if it be deemed the greatest temporal evil, because the most continual, and the most inward, for a man to be matched with an evil wife, or a woman with an evil husband: For what is said of the one, is as true of the other, the relation between them being alike.

To draw all to an head then. An unkind Neighbor is a cross: but an unfaithful Frend is a great cross; an unnatural Brother a greater: an ungracious Child yet a greater: but a wicked, unquiet, or disloyal wife is the greatest of all, and if we believe Solomon, goeth beyond them all. In regard whereof he also else-where pronounceth, that it is better to abide on a corner of the house top without, then to continue with such a one in a wide house: yea that it is better to live in the wilderness with the wild beasts, then with such.

But to leave this that is without my Text, and yet next door to it, (so near her do good and bad neighbor together,) and to come nearer home: Some it may be hearing Solomon speak on this manner, might say, as our Saviors Disciples sometime said, If the case so stand between man and wife, it is good then not to mary.

Now to such Solomon seemeth to answer in the words of my Text, that It is not evil to mary, but it is good to be wary: that it is not the abuse or badness of some, that ought to make God's ordinance the less valued, or the less esteemed, being in it self and of it self a matter of great benefit: that as the inconvenience is great and grievous that a bad wife bringeth with her; so the benefit on the other side is no less that cometh by a good wife, by a wise and a discreet woman: who is therefore here commended as a special Gift, as a principal Blessing of God, such as goeth beyond any other temporal Blessing whatsoever. And surely as there is no greater temporal cross or curse then the one; so is there no greater temporal blessing then the other.

Now this Solomon to show, as before he compared two great evils together, and found a bad wife to be the worse: so here he compareth two great benefits together, and affirmeth a good wife to be the greater.

House and possessions, wealth and riches, land and living is that, that most men regard, and look after: yea men are wont to seek wives for wealth. But saith Solomon, as a good name, so a good wife, a wise and a discreet woman is better then wealth; her price is far above pearls: For House and possessions are the inheritance of the Fathers; but a prudent wife is of the Lord.

Which yet we are not so to understand, neither the former part, as if worldly wealth, and riches and possessions were not God's gifts: for It is the blessing of God that maketh a man rich: unless he build the house it will never be built: and it is he that giveth men power to gather wealth together.

Nor yet again the latter part; as if Parents had no hand, right or power in disposing of their Children, or in advising them and providing in that kind for them. Sampson requireth his Parents consent. And God chargeth his people not to make matches between their Children and the Canaanites, either by giving their Daughters unto the Sons of the Canaanites, or by taking the Canaanites Daughters unto their Sons: which he would not do, were not they at all to deal in the disposing of them. And many, no doubt, would they take advice of their Parents, and not follow their own fancies, and make their wanton eye, or their wandering lust, their chooser and counsailer in such cases, might do much better then for want hereof they do.

But the meaning of Solomon is this only, that the one is a more special gift of God then the other; that there is a more special hand of God in the one then in the other. As that is a less benefit then this: so that is in man's power more then this.

So that two points then here in Solomon's words offer themselves unto us:

The former, that A good Wife is God's gift.

The latter, that God's providence is more special in a Wife then in Wealth.

For the former. A good wife is God's gift. For a prudent wife, saith Solomon, is of the Lord. And He that findeth a wife, (that is, a good wife, as, a name for a good name, as if an evil wife were no wife, deserved not the name of a wife:) hath found a good thing; and hath obtained a special favor from God.

It was one of the first real and royal gifts that God with his own hand bestowed upon Adam. And it must needs be no small matter that God giveth with his own hand. The Kings Almoner may cast small silver about: but if the King give a man somewhat with his own hand out of his purse or pocket, it is expected it should be a piece of gold at least. The woman was God's own gift to Adam. And she was God's gift bestowed on him to consummate and make up his happiness. Though he were at the first of himself happy, yet not so happy as he might be, until he had one to partake with him in his happiness.

It was God that at first gave Adam his wife; and it is God that giveth every man his wife to this day. God, saith Abraham to his servant, will send his Angel along with thee, and will prosper thee in thy journey; when he sent him about a wife for his Son Isaac. And Those that God hath joined together, saith our Savior, let not man sever. As Augustine saith, that He that at the first created man without man, doth now procreate man by man: so he that gave man a wife at the first immediately, doth still give men wives by means; good ones in mercy, evil ones in wrath; the one for solace and comfort, the other for trial, cure, correction, or punishment. No marriages are consummate on earth▪ that were not first concluded and made up in heaven: and none are blest here, that were not in mercy made there.

For the latter; There is a more special providence of God in a Wife then in Wealth. Human wisdom and fore-cast, endeavor and industry may strike a greater stroke and have a more special hand in the one then in the other. Men of wealth may leave their heirs land and livings but they cannot so easily provide fit wives for them.

For first, they may be deceived in their choice. Many have good skill in choosing of wares, in valewing of lands, in beating a bargain, in making a purchase, that are yet but blind buzards in the choice of a wife. Yea the wisest that are may be soon here over-reached▪ Since all is not gold as we say, that glistereth. The heart of man, saith the Prophet, is deceitful above all things. And, None can tell what is in man or woman▪ but their own Spirit that is within them.

Secondly, they cannot lincke hearts as they list. A Father may find out a fit wife, and think such a one a meet match for his Son▪ and her Parents may be also of the same mind with him, as willing to entertain the motion as he is to make it; and yet it may be, when they have done all they can, they cannot fasten their affections. As Faith, so Love cannot be constrained. As there is no affection more forcible; so there is none freer from force and compulsion. The very offer of enforcement turneth it oft into hatred. There are secret lincks of affection, that no reason can be rendered of: as there are inbred dislikes, that can neither be resolved, nor reconciled. When Parents have a long time beaten the bush, another oft, as we say, catcheth the bird: affections are set some other way, and cannot be removed. And things fall out many times so vnexpectedly, such strong liking taken to some suddenly not once thought on before, and such strange alienation of affections, where there hath been much laboring to linck them, and that where outward inducements of person estate, years &c. have concurred, that even a natural man's dim eye may easily see & discern a more special providence of God oft carrying things in these cases: And the tongues even of such are enforced sometime to confess, as the Egyptian Magicians of Moses his miracles, Digitus Dei hic est, There is a finger of God here; so with Rebekkaes profane friends, in such Marriage matches; A Domino factum est istud; This is even God's own doing; and there is no contradicting of it.

To make some Use of these Points.

First, Is a good wife such a special gift of God? then is Marriage questionless a Blessing, and no small one, of itself: one of the greatest outward Blessings 〈1 page duplicate〉 〈1 page duplicate〉 that in this world man enjoyeth. Blessed is every one, saith the Psalmist, that feareth God, and that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat of the labor of thine hands: happy art thou, and it shall go well with thee. Thy wife shall be as the fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: and thy Children like the Olive plants round about thy table. Lo, thus shall the man be blessed that feareth God. In the first place cometh the Wife as the first and principal blessing, and the Children in the next. And surely to reason backward to that the Apostle doth: If the root, saith he, be holy, the branches also be holy: and, If the branches, say I, be holy then the root that beareth them much more. So here, If the branches be blessed, the root that beareth them much more. If Children be a Blessing, then the root whence they spring ought much more to be so esteemed. Behold, Children and the fruit of the womb, are the gift of God, saith Solomon. Children are the gift of God; but the Wife is a more special gift of God: she cometh in the first place, they in the second: And gifts are usually answerable to the greatness of the Giver. It was a witty answer of a great Prince, when he was disposed to be rid of a bold begging Philosopher: he asked a groat of him, and the King told him, It was too little for a Prince to give; he requested the King then to give him a Talent, and the King told him, It was too much for a Beggar to crave. And surely God indeed in his special gifts to us, is wont to regard not so much what is fit for us to ask or to expect, as what standeth with his goodness and greatness to give.

God, saith Moses, looked upon all that he had made and behold all was very good. And Every creature, or ordinance of God, saith the Apostle, (and he had spoken of Meat and Marriage in the words before-going:) is good. All God's Creatures and Ordinances are good then; but some are more excellent then others. And Marriage being of this latter sort, it is not holy only, but even honorable also. Marriage, saith the Apostle) is honorable among all men: and no disgrace then to any man. So are we to esteem of it, and not to contemn what God hath graced, or to dishonor what he hath honored. We shall but wrong the giver in debasing his gift.

Again, is a good Wife such a special gift of God? Then if we find in marriage, inconveniences, hindrances, distractions, disturbances: Let us learn what we are to ascribe it unto: Not to God's gift or ordinance, but to man's corruption abusing God's gift, perverting God's ordinance, and turning that to his own evil, that God hath given him for his good. For there is nothing but is good as it cometh from God. But as pure water may take a taint from the pipe that conveyeth it, and the Sun beams receive a tincture from the coloured glass that they pass through: so our foul hands and filthy fingers oft soil and sully God's Ordinances, and our filth and corruption doth oft so taint and infect them, that they loose not only much of their native grace, and so strangely transformed, that God himself can scarcely discern his own in them, but they miss also of their fruit and efficacy, and of good and commodious, through our own default, become evil and incommodious unto us. And as Tyrannie in government is not the fault of God's Ordinance, but of man's corruption abusing it: so in these cases, the evil and inconvenience is not the fruit of God's Ordinance, but of man's corruption accompanying it.

If we shall find then in the married estate troubles and distractions, &c. (as the single life is commonly commended for quietness;) let us not accuse God; as Adam sometime closely did; The woman, saith he, that Thou gavest me; she gave me of the tree, and I ate: as if he had said, If thou hadst not given me the woman, she had not given me of the fruit; and if she had not given me it. I had not eaten of it. God's gifts are all good. But let us lay the fault where it is; upon our selves and our own corruption, that turneth honey into gall, and good nutriment, as the foul stomach into choler, or, as the spider and toad, into venom and poison. Els shall we be like those of whom Solomon saith; The folly of a man perverteth his way, and his foolish heart fretteth against God.

Secondly, Is a good wife God's gift? then let those that want them, learn how and where to seek them. Doest thou want a wife? and wouldest have one, and such a one, as thou mayest have comfort in? Seek her of God, seek her with God.

Seek her, I say, first at God's hands, seek her where she is to be had. Humble thyself in the sight of God, and betake thyself by prayer and supplication unto God. Every good gift, saith James, is of God from above: and to be sought therefore at his hands: and if every good gift, this more specially, that is so special a gift, and of so principal use. And, Every Creature or Ordinance, saith Paul, is to be sanctified by prayer. And if every Ordinance of God should be sanctified by prayer; and it ought to vshter all our actions, be they civil or sacred▪ then this also among others, yea this above and before others, as that which (through the blessing of God upon it) may prove a matter of the greatest benefit unto us, and without it a means of the greatest evil.

Yea, seek her as of God, so with God. Ask counsel at the mouth of God, when thou goest about any such business. The Ordinances of God, saith the Apostle, are sanctified unto us, as well by the word of God, as by prayer. Then are they sanctified unto us by prayer, when we crave leave for the use of them, and a blessing upon the use of them by prayer at God's hands. Then are they sanctified unto us by the word of God, when we have warrant, and take direction, for what we do in them, out of God's word, when we ask counsel at God's mouth. Then we seek them with God, when we seek them by good means, when we seek them in due manner.

For when it is said that a good wife is of God; we are not so to conceive it, that we are in such cases to use no means at all; but we are to use none but good and lawful means, such as God hath appointed, either prescribed or permitted. The wife is bound, saith the Apostle, while her husband liveth: but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to marry where she will, but yet, in Domino, in the Lord.

Wherein they offend, either that go too near, matching within those degrees that God hath inhibited: or that go too far of, matching with such as they are by religion prohibited to mary; and so transgressing those rules and directions that the word of God giveth.

As also those that be under the government of others, or that desire those that be in the power of others to dispose of; they then seek in the Lord, when they advise with, and are content to be disposed of by those, whom God hath given power over them; or when they seek not to them in the first place, but to those, by whom God will have them to be disposed. That which not God's people alone, but the Heathen also, by the light of Nature, saw to be equal and right. When they take other courses, they seek beside God, and cannot hope or expect any blessing from God, whose order and ordinance therein they break. In a word, wouldst thou be blessed in thy wooing, in thy wiuing? Take God▪ with thee in wooing, invite him to thy wedding. He, if he be pleased, will turn thy water into wine; if he be displeased, he will turn thy wine into vinegar.

Thirdly, learn hence what principally to aim at in the choice of a wife: to wit, at virtue and wisdom, discretion and godliness: for that is indeed true wisdom.

Solomon saith not, a fair wife is the gift of God. And yet is beauty God's gift; and a gift of good regard. Neither saith he, a wealthy wife is the gift of God: And yet is wealth also God's blessing, where it is accompanied with well-doing. But, a discreet, or a wise woman is the gift of God.

Many indeed there are, that choose their wife by the eye: The Sons of God saw the Daughters of Men to be fair: and they took them wives of them where they liked: as if they were to buy a picture or an image to hang up in the house, or to stand somewhere for a show. But Beauty, saith the Heathen man, without virtue, is like a bait floating without an hook; it hath a bait to entice, but no hook to hold. And, A fair woman, saith Solomon, without discretion is like a gold ring in a swine's snout. Favor is deceitful, and beauty is but vanity: but a woman that feareth God is praise-worthy indeed.

Others again regard wealth only; as if they went about a purchase, as if they were to mary not them but their money, as if they were to wed not the wife, but her wealth. But Solomon, when he saith, Houses and Riches are the inheritance of the Fathers: but a prudent Wife is of the Lord: he implieth that these things may be severed, the one may be without the other. Lands may come by inheritance; when virtue may not. Goods they are wherewith men may do good, but not such as make those good that have them. Better it is, said the Heathen man, to have a man without money, then to have money without a man: so better it is to have a wife without wealth, then to have wealth without a wife. And surely, what comfort can a man have of wealth with such a wife, that shall be as a corrosiue to his heart, as corruption and rottenness in his bones?

Again, let Parents learn here what to aim at in the education of their Children, whom they desire to dispose of, and to dispose of so as they may be a blessing, not a cross or a curse to those that shall have them: Not study only how to provide portions for them: though an honest care also is to be had in that kind. Parents, saith the Apostle, ought to lay up for their Children. And, He that provideth not for his issue, is worse then an Infidel. Nor how to trim them up, and set them out, in whorish or garish manner, to make them baits to catch fools with; but labor to train them up in true wisdom, and discretion, in the fear of God, and such graces as may make them truly amiable, as well in God's sight as in man's eyes; in houswifry, and industry, and skill to manage household affairs: that so they may be helpers to their Husbands, (and not hinderers;) as to that end they were made at first.

Yea hence let the wife learn what she is to strive to, and labor for, that she may be indeed a good gift of God: Not so much to decke and trick her self up to the eye, as to have her inner man adorned with holy skill and discretion, whereby to carry her self wisely and discreetly in that place and condition that God hath called her unto: That she may with the wise woman, build up the house; and be a crown and a grace to him that hath her. That her Husband and Children may have cause to bless her, and to bless God for her; and count it a blessed time when they came first together.

Let her consider what a fearful thing it is to be otherwise. For her that was made for a help, to prove not an help but an hurt: for her that was given for a blessing, to prove a cross and a curse. As one saith of Eve, reaft from Adam as a rib, and shot by Satan at him as a shaft: bestowed on him by God to consummate his felicity, but made by Satan's slight and her own default, the means of his extreme misery.

Fourthly, let men be admonished hence, whom to ascribe it unto, if ought have been done in this kind for them: even to God himself principally, whose special gift a good wife is. Let us take heed how in this case we sacrifice to our yearn, or burn incense to our net. Ascribe not what is done for thee, to the mediation of friends, or to thine own plots and policies, smoothnes of language, fairenes of look, or the like. No: acknowledge God to have been the principal agent in the business: regard man and thine own means, but as his Instruments. Of him she is, saith Solomon: not as a Creature only made of him, bnt as one matched unto thee by him: nor as knit to thee by his ordinance, but as assigned thee by his providence: For that is it, that Solomon here principally aimeth at.

Yea let them hence learn what they owe unto God, whom God hath vouchsafed such a blessing unto. Hath God bestowed such a Wife on thee, as Solomon here speaketh of? It is a precious Jewel; such as thy Father could never leave thee. It is a greater Treasure then the greatest Prince on earth, then the mightiest Monarch in the world is able to bequeath to his Heir. We see how Parents are oft troubled in making search for their Sons, and yet when they have done their best endeavor, miss of that they desire. We might here rise by degrees on the better side, as we did before on the worse. As evils, so good things, the more inward the greater. A trusty servant is no small blessing; a kind neighbor is a great one; a faithful friend a greater; a wise son yet a greater; and a prudent wife the greatest of all: a greater blessing then any of the former, that yet for temporal blessings may seem of the greatest. And how do married persons then stand engaged to God above others, whom he hath blessed in their choice? A great measure of thankfulness owe they unto him, proportionable in some sort to the blessing bestowed on them.

Yea as there is a greater measure of thankfulness required of them, then of others whom God hath not blessed in that manner: so there is a peculiar kind of thankfulness required on their part. All God's favors require thankfulness: and the more favors the more thankfulness: but some special favors require some peculiar kind of acknowledgment, proportioned to the quality of the favor received. Children are God's gift: and our thankfulness to him for them is to be shown in such duties, as he requireth of us in the behalf of them, in the careful education and training them up in good courses. In like manner: Thy Wife thou hast of God's gift: and thy thankfulness to him for her, must be shown in the performance of such duties, as he requireth of thee in regard of her, of love, of kindness, of concord, counsel, contentment &c.

Fifthly, Is the Wife given unto her Husband by God? then must she resolve to give herself wholly to him as her Owner, on whom God hath bestowed her, to whom he hath assigned her. When Parents have put out their Children, the Children must be content to be guided by those to whom they commit them: and when God hath given a Daughter, she must be content to live with him, and be guided by him, whom God hath given her unto. Neither is she to forsake him. For they are not to be sundered, nor severed, whom God hath conjoined and made one. And there is a foul brand therefore upon her, that forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the Covenant of her God. Nor to refuse to be ruled by him: but submit and subject herself unto him, unto whom God hath given her: for that is comely, saith the Apostle, in the Lord: and to be embraced therefore of her, as her Lot by God assigned her.

Yea, is the Wife given the Husband by God? then should he esteem her as a gift of God: and live with her, as with one given him and bestowed upon him by God. We cannot abide to see any thing that we have given another evil-used. And it be but a dog, an hound, or a whelp, if we see it neglected, where we bestowed it, we are wont to take it evil. But if we should see a jewel of some value, bestowed by us on a friend as a token of our love toward him, set light by him, or should find it cast aside in some corner, would we not much more be grieved at it, and judge that he set as light by our love, as he doth by our love-token. And hath not God then just cause to take it evil at thy hands, when he shall see his gift abused, evil entertained, and worse used; when he shall see her misused of thee, whom he hath as a special favor bestowed on thee, and hath therefore given thee a special charge well and kindly to use? How are we wont to be grieved, when we see matters fall our amiss, where we have been means to make the match? If the wife be misused, that we have holpen one to, we are wont to count it a wrong to our selves. And no marvel then, if God himself take to heart the wrongs done by us, to those that he hath joined to us, if he have a quarrel against him that shall transgress against her, whom he hath inseparably joined to him, to be his Companion and his wife by a Covenant of Salt.

Lastly, if a good Wife be such a special gift of God, then a good Husband is no less. For the Husband is as needful for the Wife, as the Wife is for the Husband. Thy desire, saith God, shall be unto him. And if the Husband then be so to esteem of his Wife, and to be thankful to God for her; then is the Wife no less to esteem so of her Husband, and to be thankful likewise to God for him.

In a word, let both man and wife so esteem either of other, as joined by God's counsel, as given by God's hand; and so receive either other as from God, be thankful either for other unto God, seek the good either of other in God; and then will God undoubtedly with his blessing, accompany his gift, to his own glory, and their mutual good.

A MARIAGE FEAST.

I Cannot handle everything in this Story, which shall offer it self: But must only insist upon those parts thereof, that may most directly concern this present solemnity.

The main scope & drift of this whole Narration seems to be this. To show, what an honorable estimation and account our blessed Savior Jesus Christ, doth make of the holy and honorable estate of Marriage, notwithstanding that himself was borne of a Virgin, and did himself in his own person live and die a Virgin.

This honorable estimation of his, is manifested, In his gracing and countenancing, the solemnization of this special Marriage, mentioned in this Story.

Our Savior graceth and countenanceth it two manner of ways.

• 1. By his presence and company at the Feast.
• 2. By working a miracle at it, and that the first miracle that ever he wrought.

Of both these in order; omitting to speak any thing, of the matters that pass between Christ and his Mother, between Christ's Mother and the Wayters, between Christ and the Wayters, and between the Governor of the Feast and the Bridegroom. Because the Doctrine flowing from these particulars, is not so pertinent to this present Occasion.

But before that we descend into particulars, let us first in the general observe from the main scope and drift of this Story, this instruction.

That the more that Satan and his accursed Imps, shall labor to disgrace and discountenance any sacred Ordinance of God; the more will God grace and honor the same.

The truth of this appears in no one thing more, then in this matter of Marriage. It is wonderful to consider, how the Devil hath ever labored to disgrace and put it out of countenance: How he hath made the day of ones Marriage, as ignominious and reproachful, as if it were the day of ones public penance or execution; what laughing and scoffing, what flearing, jering, and nodding the head is there, not only of such as are yet single, but of those that are themselves married persons; not only of profane swaggerers, and those of the damned crew (as they are called) but of those (many times) that have the reputation of Civil honest men, yea of Professors of Religion. In so much, as if those that are to be knit together in this sacred bond, were to measure their estate by the minds, words, and ordinary behaviors of the Spectators, yea many times of those, who seem to honor the Solemnity with their presence and attendance: It were better for them to stand as long in a white sheet, or to be carted thorough the streets, then to present themselves into the Congregation to knit this holy and inviolable knot. For in that case lightly you should have none but unhappy boys, and such persons as are naught themselves, to make signs of disgrace; good minds use to pity them that are so publicly (though deservedly) disgraced. But here, for the most part, all, good and bad, old and young, set themselves, though not with their hands, yet with their hearts, countenances, and words, to cast dirt and puddle water in the faces of those that are to enter into this Calling, as if they were to enter into a Calling most sinful, and shameful, and most odious and vile both in the eyes of God and man.

This is indeed a hellish and damnable iniquity; but behold yet a greater iniquity then this: Satan hath so woven his own impurity, with the pure Ordinance of God, that a Marriage, is accounted no Marriage, if it be not solemnized with beastly and profane Songs, Sonnets, Ijggs, indicted by some hellish Spirit, and chaunted by those, that are the public incendiaries of all filthy lusts; and these are ordinarily made in the scorn and derision of this Holy Estate, to delight and solace the Guests withal. But indeed they tend to no other end, but to despite and disgrace this worthy Ordinance of God, and to make it seem in the eyes of men, nothing else but a matter of obscenenesse and filthiness. So that if God himself had not had a special care, to uphold, to grace and countenance this Estate, by how much more Satan laboreth to make it odious and vile, all the world long before this, had been a very Stews and Brothel-house. See then, the care that God hath to honor this ancient Ordinance of his; how (notwithstanding that Satan hath ever done his uttermost to disgrace it, and make it vile) God subjecteth the whole world unto it, not fools only, but wise, not poor, but the richest, not profane persons only, but the holiest and the religiousest that ever were, not base persons, but Kings and Emperors: So that not only all sorts and degrees of men, but in a manner every man and woman in the world, he bringeth under this yoke; so that the whole world (to account of) is as it were, but a married person: And this is so much the more to be wondered at, that the Devil can make that so shameful, which is so common. It is not so in sins, nor it would not be so in this, if it were not a special divine Ordinance.

This should encourage us, with all alacrity and confident Spirits, to submit our selves to any of God's Ordinances, and with so much the greater courage and heart, by how much the more contemptible, & despised, they shall appear to be amongst men. For the more that men do despite God's Ordinances, the more will God honor the same, and those that with honest hearts shall undergo the same. You may see Gen. 2. that the very first work that God did, after the very first creation of man and woman, was his marrying of man to woman: and you see here, that one of the first Wonders that Christ wrought was in honor of a Marriage.

We come now to the first point, wherein Christ graceth and honoreth Marriage, and that is, by vouchsafing his presence at the solemnization of it, or at the Marriage Feast.

Wherein these two points are to be considered in order.

• 1. The inviting of Christ unto the Marriage.
• 2. His coming unto it, being invited.

From the first point let us learn these Instructions in order.

That the Marriage Feasts, and Solemnities of Christians, ought so to be ordered, that nothing ought to be done or committed therein, that may not beseem the presence of our Savior Christ.

Of this judgment and affection were these Parties, that at this time invited our Savior Christ, else they would never have invited him. For far be it that we should think, (yea the Story shows the contrary) that these Persons called Christ to this Feast, to vex and grieve his Soul, with scurrile and ribald merriments, and with wanton and unchaste sports & delights; or that for reverence of Christ's presence, they excluded and laid aside any lawful delights fitting such an Exercise; and therefore, though there was a solemn Feast at this Marriage, and though out of question the day was spent in delights and pleasures, (as is most meet for such matters) yet they were such delights and pleasures, as they durst call our Savior Christ unto, yea and make him a partaker of.

Fie therefore and a shame of such mirth as doth not beseem the presence of Christ, of such words, as beseem not his ears, of such actions and exercises as beseem not his holy eyes; such mirth and pastime is not befitting any Solemnity, much less so honorable a Solemnity, as Marriage is or ought to be, which is a sacred knot, whereby two persons are inviolably knit together by the hand of God. As therefore this day, many of you are called to feast and rejoice with these Parties, that are to be united in a faithful bond: So I beseech you, as you will answer it before the Lord, and look for a blessing upon these Parties, in love of whom you are assembled, that you would look to your mirth, and see whether it be such, as in your Consciences you are persuaded, that Christ Jesus himself, if he were present, would not be offended, but well pleased with it. Consider whether thy mirth and laughter be such, as Christ Jesus would be delighted therein with thee: For Christ our head, mourneth with those that mourn in him, and rejoceth with those that rejoice in him: Otherwise assure thyself, that that pleasure of thine, with which Christ Jesus is displeased, shall be turned into pain; that that joy of thine, wherein Christ doth not joy with thee, shall be turned into sorrow; that laughter of thine, that is offensive to him, shall be turned into tears. There cannot be a greater wrong offered▪ to a man, then for any to make themselves merry with that, which shall grieve and vex him: How much more is it an heinous wrong unto God, when men shall be assembled to solace & delight themselves in those things, which do anger and displease him. Especially at such a time, when he should be moved to bestow a blessing upon the Parties married; and then, when we beg all joy and comfort for them at the hand of God. Verily, the monstrous profane abuses that ordinarily use to be upon such Occasions, are no doubt the special causes, of so many curses, that the Lord layeth upon many that enter into this honorable state, when the same shall in such vile manner be profaned and abused by them.

Secondly, the example of these virtuous persons that were married in Cana, and of them that made this Feast, is to be imitated of all true Christians, that have given their names to Jesus Christ: they must call Christ Jesus to their Wedding, they must invite him to their Marriage Feast.

And great reason it is, that among others, nay above all other Guests, Christ Jesus should be one.

For 1. If you that are to be married be Christians, Christ Jesus is the greatest friend that you have in the whole world, in heaven, or in earth: And nature and custom hath taught men this, to call their chiefest and best friends to their Weddings. So that inviting others and passing by him, it shows that they make higher account of others then of him, and that (at the least) he is none of their dearest friends. And they are deadly enemies to Christ that take not him to be their dearest friend.

2. As Christ is the dearest friend to every true Christian, so is he the nearest neighbor: Thou needs not send far for him, he is deer always, and at hand to those that call upon him: And it is the use ever to invite our nearest neighbors, if they be our friends. Now the Devil is his Inmate, who hath not Christ for his nearest neighbor.

3. There is none hath more interest in the Bride and Bridegroom, then Christ Jesus. He first gave them both to their Parents; He hath kept and preserved them to this estate; He it is that hath given them their health, wealth, strength, beauty, & whatsoever is worthy or lovely in them: He could take it away at his pleasure again; yea he could in a moment take the Bride from the Bride-Grome, and on a sudden, and in the twinkling of an eye, turn all this preparation of joy into heaviness and grief.

4. All Christians, are the Sons and Daughters of God, and they are married in the house of God: Their Parents upon earth are but God's deputies. What a shame were it then to exclude Christ Jesus, and not to invite him?

5. He sends all those things, wherewith thou solemnizest thy feast: they are all his presents. And wilt thou fail to invite him, that sendeth provisions in so frankly and liberally to thee?

6. Who is it but Christ Jesus, that can bless any Marriage, and make it comfortable and joyful to the Parties? Who but he can curse it, and make it an iron yoke to both the parties? Therefore great cause there is to invite him above all other.

But alas (it will be said) Christ is now in heaven, and will not come, though he should be invited; That for our parts we would count our selves happy, if he would vouchsafe to come to us.

I answer, that though Christ Jesus be locally absent in regard of his body, yet in regard of his Spirit he is present: and if men's hearts were set upon him, as they ought to be; if they did but desire his presence, they should find his presence, even in as comfortable a manner, as if he should descend from the Right Hand of his Father, and in his body, go with the Bridegroom and Bride to Church, and sit down at the table with them.

You therefore that are interested in this present Action, where so many Guests are invited, examine your own Souls and Consciences, whether you have not forgotten the principal Guest: It were better that the day of thy Marriage had been the day of thy Burial, then that it should be said, Thou wast married, and Christ Jesus not remembered: And therefore if your Consciences smite you in this, see that before you go out of this place you invite him: It is not too late; thou art now in his presence, lift up thy heart and mind, and desire him, that he would be present, and that thou mayest have his blessed company; and then you shall be sure of a blessed and joyful issue.

Thirdly, Christians that would have Christ Jesus present, at their Feasts and Marriage-Solemnities, may learn hence, what persons they are to invite to keep Christ company. For in the Text it is specified of this Wedding, that the Mother of Christ was there, and the Disciples of Christ; all godly persons, all special friends unto Christ. We say in the Proverb, Its merry when friends meet; And we know by experience, that if men invite their special friend, they will have a care what company they entertain him withal. If it may be, they will take order that some that they know he loveth shall be invited to keep him company, at least such as they think he doth not hate. Neither can a man do his friend a greater wrong, then to invite him to feasting and merriment, when together with him, he inviteth such as will by all possible means disgrace & despite him.

Beloved, Christ Jesus is the dearest friend thou hast in the world, what interest he hath to be a bidden Guest, to all Christian Mariages, I have shown before. There's none but will say, they have called Christ Jesus to their Marriage, and do desire above all things, that he would bestow a blessing upon them; you come to the Church in this solemn manner, to that very end and purpose to call him: But how do Christians use Christ Jesus at such times? Certainly men usually provide Christ such companions, as if they should rake hell for them. Such as set themselves, by blasphemy, ribaldrie, and all kind of profaneness, to despite Christ Jesus, and to offer all indignities possible to Him and his Religion. Is it therefore any wonder, that Christ his own ordinance to some should prove a curse; when he himself, in the solemnization thereof, shall be in such a manner cursed and blasphemed, and when men at such times in steed of inviting the Mother of Christ and his Disciples, to keep Christ company, shall bid Annas, and Caiaphas, and Malchus, and other such like mates, whom they know will set themselves to disgrace and scorn Jesus by all possible means.

In the second place it is to be considered, that Christ cometh to the Marriage Feast being called.

Whence in order, let us observe these Instructions.

First, the wonderful meekness and lowliness of Jesus Christ; that being called, would vouchsafe his presence, to countenance and grace the marriage of these two Persons, who as it seems were but some poor couple, else they would in all likelihood have forecast to have had wine enough. It would be thought a folly worthy to be chronicled, if a Swineheard or a Shepherd, should presume to invite the King, and his Council, to his wedding. All the Kingdom would be in a wonderment, if being so invited, they should come and grace his Marriage with their Presence and with Gifts. Is it not much more to be wondered at, that the King of Glory, the Eternal Son of God should descend so low, to grace with his high and holy presence, so base and lowly a Couple.

As Christ was, so ought much more all his Ministers to be: Kings and Princes may and ought in such Cases to keep State; but it must not be so with the Ministers of Christ; They must be as Christ and his Apostles were, All unto all, that they may gain some. Though they ought to rebuke Kings and Emperors when they are called unto it, yet they ought also to subject themselves to the meanest and lowest of God's people, and should not think much to go to the meetings of the meanest, if a Christian Soul should desire it.

Observe secondly, what a wonderful grace and countenance herein Christ showeth to this Ordinance. Verily, if he had done no more, but this, to sit down at the Table with them, to eat of their meats, and to drink of their cups, it had been a far greater honor, then if he had sent a Company of Angels from heaven visibly to have waited upon and served the Bridegroom and Bride, that same day. If the Antichristian Papist had but such a president, to grace their impure Votaries, their Monks, and their Nunns▪ if Christ had but gone in that manner, being invited, to a Monastery, a Priorie, a Nunnery, or a Hermitage, it had been enough to have cried down Marriage forever, and to have advanced their loose single life infinitely above it.

This should teach us to make the same use of it for the magnifying of Marriage, which they would have made of it, if they had it for their counterfeit Virginitie; though its most probable, that the Papists would not have shown themselves so forward for it, if they should have perceived that Christ had been such a friend unto it.

Note thirdly from hence, that Christ Jesus is no enemy to honest mirth & delight, at such meetings and solemnities as this, but hath by his own presence and precedent approved it. Though we do not read in the Scripture, that Christ ever laughed, yet we need not think that he was so rigide and austere, that he could endure no mirth and delight; As though men in his Presence were in their silent dumps, and made dumb shows only one to another. Surely then would not Christ have been so often invited to Feasts as he was; or if he had, he would not have frequented them so often: For the special use of Feasts are for friends to rejoice and make merry together in; and therefore in the Holy Tongue have their name, from leaping and rejoicing.

So that we see hence, That there is a season and a time when Christians may rejoice together, yea and that in the presence and before the face of Christ Jesus himself; he sitting by, and looking on. Servants use to be most merry amongst themselves, and the presence of Master and Mistress damps their mirth. But the Servants of Christ may be as merry in his presence as behind his back. Yea they are more merry when he sits at table with them, then when he is absent.

I observe this the rather, to cross an illusion of Satan, whereby he usually persuades the merry Greeks of the world; That if they should once devote themselves to the Service of Jesus Christ, that then they must bid an everlasting farewell to all mirth and delight; that then all their merry days are gone; that in the kingdom of Christ, there is nothing, but sighing and groaning, and fasting and prayer. But see here the contrary: even in the kingdom of Christ, and in his House, there is marrying and giving in marriage, drinking of wine, feasting, and rejoicing even in the very face of Christ. Nay its not possible, that any person upon earth, should joy as the servants of Christ do. Do but consider the joy of a condemned person, when at the place of Execution he hath received a pardon: Such is the joy of Christ's servants, especially then, when Christ comes unto them. For before he uses to come, he suffers men to be as persons at the point of Execution, he brings them even to the pit of Hell, to Hell mouth, and then when he comes to them, he brings a Pardon with him. Christ's servants indeed have many greifes, and qualms come over their heart; but it is then with them, as with women near their time of bringing forth; they are in travail with some joy. Cleane contrary it is with wicked ones; who have ofttimes many flashings of joy: but when they are in the height of it, they are then big-bellied, and ready to travel of some sorrow: and their own woeful experience makes them expect it. For its very usual with them in the extremity of their mirth to say, I pray God I hear of no sorrow, I have been this day so merry. And good cause they have so to fear, that cannot be merry, except the Devil play the Musician; that cannot sing, except the dittie be made in Hell. Let all our jolly Gallants and merry Companions therefore know, That the Children of God can be merry and pleasant, though they cannot cog, lie, swear, swagger, talk lasciuiously, and filthily, &c. And they shall then be everlastingly merry, when the wicked that now seem to be made of nothing else but mirth and pleasure, shall gnash their teeth and howl in Hell forever and ever.

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4 ^lie . Since Christ is ready to come to our Mariages and Weddings; This should teach us, to provide for him, those dishes, that himself best loves, and that he useth most to feed upon. In which provision, thou needest not to put ever the more in the Pot for him, or upon the Spit, or in the Oven. But the Table that thou art to spread to Christ must be in thy heart; see that thy heart stand sincerely affected unto him; yea thou must dress and prepare thy Soul for him. For as the special meat that he prepared for himself to feed upon, was, his doing of his Fathers will; so the best dish that thou canst prepare for him, is, Thy obedience to his will.

Those therefore that call Christ to their lewdness, ribaldrie, blasphemy, &c. they call him to a banket of Carrian, or a worse matter then that; and offer him a bowle of vinegar and gall to drink.

The second means, by which Christ dignifieth Marriage, is, by working a Miracle, yea the first Miracle that ever he wrought, a Miracle whereby he turns water into wine, yea into most excellent wine. I must in regard of Time, handle all these points together confusedly.

1. Hence observe that Christ being called to the Marriage, cometh thither God as well as man; yea and graceth the Marriage with the manifestation of his Deity; so that those that have this grace to call Christ Jesus to their Marriage, (and all such call him, as heartily call upon him,) they shall feel his presence, yea and his divine power in his presence; for Christ never comes being called, but he leaves behind him some prints of his Godhead & divine power.

And this may be a sign unto thee; That thou never didst heartily call Christ Jesus, unto thy house, and unto thy table, if thou hast had no sense and feeling of his divine power, doing a greater work and more powerful within thyself, then is the turning of water into wine.

Secondly, Observe how Christ recompenceth those that are kind unto him, how in their necessity he worketh a Miracle to supply their want. So that they, that have this grace, to invite Christ Jesus, and to call him to their Feasts, rather then they shall want anything needful for them, he will work Miracles.

What greater encouragement can men have then this, to make Christ Jesus always their chiefest Guest? For then, rather then they shall die for hunger or thirst, he will rain milk, and honey, and Quails from Heaven, to feed and nourish them.

Thirdly, In that Christ upon present necessity turns Water into Wine, the present Feast requiring it; It teacheth us, That Christ's extraordinary works are not for gazing and wonderment, but for special use, according to the several necessities of his Servants. They wanted wine, the soul and life of a Feast; and Christ by Miracle makes wine.

And first this again, should be a wonderful encouragement, especially to persons entering into the state of Matrimony, which seemeth to bring many necessities with it, to make special account of such a Guest, who will not only supply their wants in general, but their special wants, belonging to their special places. He that but in a matter of ceremony and complement, turned water into wine, that there might be no dishonor to that Feast, where he was a Guest: Will he see any needful thing wanting to them that marry in his fear?

Secondly, this should comfort men against the over-much cares of this world, for Wife, and Children. He that now turned water into wine, can turn stones into bread▪ lead into silver, brass into gold, & will do it rather then thou shouldest want, and if in his wisdom he did see it good for these he can also as, easily turn a bad Husband into a good, and a bad Wife into a good, a Poor man into a Rich, a Base man into a Noble, a Cottage into a Palace &c. Make much therefore of Christ. For on the contrary side, exclude Christ out of your Feasts, and he will turn thy wine into water, if not in the glass, or in thy mouth, yet in thy stomach; so that it shall do thy Spirits no more good, then if thou hadst drunk a cup of cold water.

Thirdly, this should teach us to imitate Christ. Doth he in this manner honor Marriage by a Miracle? Surely, those persons that are married, should honor him with the like-Miracle. They should endeavor also to turn water into wine. But how? Surely, whereas their former lives and conversations have been unto Christ but (as it were) a cup of heartless water; they should be unto him by their amendment, as a cup of wine to cheer up his heart.